Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Transition Zone

~ Over My Head | Fleetwood Mac ~

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere . . . even
starting to slip backward . . . we may actually
be backing up to get a running start.”

Dan Millman

Changing from holding on to those old habits or circumstances in life can sometimes be difficult since they are comfortable. The transition zone is not in the comfort zone . . . it is the unknown.

Seems like life circumstances can put you in the comfort zone and out of the transition zone. Having to deal with a life and death situations throw me into the comfort zone, making it difficult to eat, sleep or just function normally . . . as if I have been momentarily paralyzed into the comfort zone.

I’m still dealing with the death of my spouse and several close friends and family within the span of a few years and really, I was thinking about how well I was dealing with grief, but now I don’t know what I am feeling . . . it is like everything has come back to haunt me.  It comes and goes . . . even though I have moved on with a new love and my life is happy.

The past couple of weeks have found me dealing with several health issues that have gotten me down with so much to do and not much energy to do it.  

Although I am feeling stuck, going nowhere . . . more like suspended in time . . . and yes, I feel as though I have slipped backward, but I am having faith that I am just backing up to get a running start.

Do you have times of teetering on the edge
of the transition zone and the comfort zone?

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Leaving Baggage Behind

~ People Are People | Depeche Mode ~

A serious sensibility may come over you today, prompting periods of self-reflection. You may be overcome by an intense curiosity that compels you to delve into your past in order to determine how your personal history has influenced your life in the present.

As you contemplate what you consider to be the important episodes in your life, you may discover that emotions you imagined were no longer exerting influence over your life are still a part of your experience. In order to cleanse your karma and reestablish your soulful equilibrium, you may need to analyze the emotional baggage you are carrying and then discard it. You can achieve true closure today by recognizing those parts of your previous life experiences that add no value to your life in the present.
As you clear the emotional baggage that has accumulated in your soul over time, you will gain an unimpeded and consequently optimistic view of your future. Each of us is gradually saddled with more and more of this type of baggage as we move through life and eventually it begins to weigh heavily on our spirits. Clearing emotional baggage frees you from the limitations and patterns of thought imposed upon you by circumstances from your past. As you discard this karmic waste, you will attain a state of mental clarity that allows you to see life’s wonders for the miracles they truly are and divest yourself of habits and behaviors that add no value to your experience. Your soul will be rejuvenated today as you release your emotional baggage.
 Source: Daily Om

Letting go of emotional baggage has been one of the most difficult areas in the healing process of my life. Grief, the associated guilt and the pain of past hurts that sweep over me when I least expect it sometimes knock me down. 

Through the years, my coping mechanisms have made it easier to pick myself back up, even though the waves of emotion sometimes make it difficult.

It is easy for someone not going through the emotion to simply say, "pack it up and put it away" . . . easier said than done although not totally impossible. The healing process of emotional baggage is a "one day at a time" kind of thing.

The key is to remember you are in control of the present, despite the past.

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Emotional Baggage

~ Troubled Mind | Everything But The Girl ~

“Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge.”
Audre Lorde

This is an updated older post
from another blog that I have closed.

Emotions and intuition speak to us and can be our greatest guide if we are willing to experience them. However, many of us instinctively block or resist these feelings . . . and they turn into the trap of emotional baggage, bringing perpetual discomfort, stress and anxiety.

On the other hand, jumping to conclusions, actions or reactions is not a good thing either. Allow them to speak to you, acknowledge and deal with them as they come . . . pay attention and be aware. Just deal with your emotions and don’t bottle them up to fester into emotional baggage that takes peace of mind and throws it out the window.

The lesson I have not learned is to think before I speak.  It is sometimes difficult to differentiate between genuine intuition and paranoia.  What I am learning is there are different perspectives to all situations and not everyone has the same reaction or emotion which should be considered before speaking.  It is that delicate balance of compromise and considering others as well as being true to yourself.

My greatest peace comes from analyzing my emotions, why I react to situations in a certain way and determine the way back to the comfort level of peace of mind.  

Take time to know yourself and your emotions . . . be rid of that emotional baggage that weighs you down.

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011


~ La La La | Naughty Boy Ft Sam Smith ~

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. 
Knowledge is limited."
Albert Einstein

Thoughts are the playground of the imagination, taking us through endless possibilities, exploring the known and the unknown drawing from the heart and soul, waking up our deepest desires.

The mindset of a child is fascinated with the world around them, open to discovering and experiencing new things. As we grow older, life educates us and in turn dulls our natural curiousity and some of us forget how to dream.

Part of the beauty of life is to exercise our imagination, believe in our dreams and go through our life journey with mindset of a child with a sense of wonder.

Imagination allows us to ask the question “why not?” . . .

Ok, I'm in a psychological mood today :)  

It is that unsettled feeling, kind of an anxious restlessness.  My hard drive crashed.  This has been a month of computer problems and related expenses that were not expected.  It totally weirds me out and puts me in a funky state of mind.  I'm lost without all my settings and everything where it should be.  Poor Captain, he gave up his computer for me . . . he's awesome.

In the midst of all things unsettled, I'm feeling grateful for many things.  I have a computer to use and since my external drive crashed a few weeks ago, I have a new one that was backed up.  Only a few files lost . . . although they were important . . . with a little time I can recreate them.

Imagination is a wonderful thing . . . it can take you to a place away from everything that is wrong . . . where life is wonderful if you look at it in the right frame of mind.  

I'm grateful to my sweetie who makes me realize this and is teaching me not to freak out over insignificant events of life.  They are minor irritations that make us grateful for the time when everything is as it should be.

It was not my imagination . . . an unidentified plant put out the most beautiful cluster of yellow flowers I've ever seen today.  Spring has arrived and that makes me so happy.  I'll be posting photos at my gardening blog.

Happy Wednesday!  
I am happy no matter what irritation has found me.

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Sunday, February 20, 2011

How did I live without you?

~ Love's Divine | Seal ~

"Don't wait until the last moment to let God know you want to use your ticket to Heaven ... you never know when the train is leaving the station."

"How did I ever live without you?" is a question/statement often included in my daily prayers.  As a born-again Christian who found God later in life, I can't imagine life without my faith in God.  The courage, strength and hope that I find daily amazes me sometimes.

Surely I'm like most other people of faith . . . when times are good we tend to forget to pray and give thanks, yet in times of trouble, the question "where were you?" ultimately comes up.  As hard as I try not to, I do go there from time to time . . . I am human and situations in life happen when they are least expected.

As I go through the motions of life with so many things to do packed in a day, I have made an effort to consciously thank God for all those little things that bring me joy and happiness and it has become one of the most important parts of my day.   It is part of what I call the Simple Abundance lifestyle.  I used to write a grateful post to my blog every day . . . I've gotten away from that although I am still conscious of all those little things.  

Since many loved ones have passed on, I have really become aware of how fragile life is, how much every second of every day counts, how important it is to let those you love know how much you love and appreciate them in your life.  I write about this often . . . it is that important. 

Living with regrets can haunt you after it is too late.

Today I am grateful for waking up to a sweet, sleepy hug from The Captain, a love I thought I would never find . . . after being startled and annoyed by Willie the Wonder Cat in my face wanting attention.  

I am grateful for the little annoyance from the sweet little furry creature who just recently appeared in our lives, bringing us so much joy.  It occurred to me that a little over a year ago, I woke up to nothingness of being totally alone . . . now I have a sweet little family who loves and appreciates me.

The simplicity of hope and faith found when I became a Christian carried me through those awful years after JR died . . . where would I have been today without God in my life?  

Yes, I am definitely grateful and my Simple Abundance lifestyle helps me realize it.

What is a simple joy you are grateful for today?

This post is linked to the following blog hop/meme:

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Monday, February 14, 2011

A Treasured Gift

~ Lovesong (Extended Mix) | The Cure ~

My treasured gift was given to me when
 I wasn't expecting it and found it
 in an unexpected place.

The Captain stepped into my life
 and changed me forever . . .

One of the most treasured gifts I have ever
received in my life . . . the gift of love.

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Frying Pan Moments

~ Home | Sheryl Crow ~

Doesn't the image and
 the phrase itself conjure up
 all kinds of thoughts in your head?

We've all had those times when we have had the
 urge to literally whack someone with a frying pan.

One of my new favorite blogs, Friko's World goes into an aspect of "frying pan moments," telling the story of an occasional house guest that does a certain thing that irritates her.

It wasn't really her treasured frying pan that she pampers carefully, never using detergent on it . . . and one of her guests carelessly uses it . . . "isn't it just a frying pan?" is what probably goes through his head.  She found herself fretting over future visits . . . no doubt thinking, "oh the poor frying pan will be defiled!!!"

Her therapist now asks the question, 
"any frying pan moments?" 
during their sessions.

Before I go any further with this post, I want to urge you to treat yourself to Friko's blog . . . she is an AWESOME writer!  Check out her story!

Her "frying pan moment" deals with resentment.

Don't we all have varying types of these moments?

In my comment to her post, I mentioned my "frying pan moments" that have nothing to do with resentment, anger, violence . . . nothing like that . . . it is entirely different.  It inspired me to write this post to delve into the concept of "frying pan moments" . . .

My moments deal with a strange
type of fear . . . and maybe grief?

Regular readers of my blog know that I am a widow who has moved on with another love after many years of being suddenly single.

Those years were spent in my house like a hermit with my stuff.  Much of that stuff never got moved . . . it was to stay as it was when my husband was still here on this earth with me.  It is how I wanted it . . . couldn't even think of getting rid of his clothes . . . taking them out of the drawers and closets into boxes felt like such a betrayal to him.

Even insignificant items that I didn't care about before took on new meaning.  ALMOST EVERYTHING that surrounded me was special stuff, representing my former life that was gone, never to return.  Maybe subconsciously I thought if it wasn't moved, he would miraculously return.  

Who knows what goes through our thoughts or the rationale of it when dealing with sudden death and grief . . . faced with aloneness without your life partner.

Fast forward a few years later . . . an awesome online relationship that started on Twitter turned into something more.  It wasn't until we discussed meeting that I started to worry about all of JR's stuff and my attachment to "the way things were" . . . could I seriously move on with someone else?

It was an issue that I seriously struggled with.

My frying pan moments with The Captain teeter on the edge of hilarious.  Thank God this man has an awesome sense of humor and compassion for the loyalty I hold for my former husband and the "stuff" associated with my former life.

For Friko, it was resentment . . . for me, it was a fear of change, it was a cringing of anything being broken, misplaced . . . you get the idea.  I often wonder about the other perspective of being on the other side of a frying pan moment.

My biggest frying pan moments come with organizing and redecorating the house to reflect our new life together.  

It is sometimes like touching raw nerves . . . the feelings are not angry, resentful or anything like that.  Very strange and abnormal is what they are . . . I must say that I realize it!  It gets easier by the day, although the improvements have taken very small incremental changes.  The Captain is an awesome guy!

On the subject of another type of these moments . . . in my former life when I was an executive assistant, I worked for a married man who was a notorious ladies man.  His wife had what I would call the perfect example of a frying pan moment . . . she would stand away from the front door and whack him over the head when the drunk so-and-so walked in the door after being out cavorting all night long.  

Yes, he was worthy of that treatment, although harsh . . . I often wondered how she managed to not actually kill or seriously hurt him.  You would think he would have learned, but he didn't and continued to get whacked when he misbehaved.  They eventually divorced years later!  Surprise, surprise . . .

How about your "frying pan moments"?

Care to share?

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Friday, February 4, 2011

In search a dream . . . another meaning of peace

It is about personal freedom . . . the kind that many of us take for granted.  There are civilizations that exist in this world where personal freedom is just a dream.

"We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to secure liberty for their souls."  
~ Robert J. McCracken

As a grateful American, I admire what my ancestors went through to come to the "new country" . . . packing up all their personal belongings along with a dream of a better life for their family and future generations.  Freedom and opportunity . . . risking everything to set forth into the unknown.  How courageous.  I often wonder if I would go through that extreme for the sake of a dream.

The people of Egypt are weighing heavy on my heart and mind as they enter into the unknown, risking their lives for the dream of freedom and opportunity for themselves, their families and a better life for future generations.  Having many long-time online friends from Egypt, getting to know them through the years and hearing their stories has given me a personal connection to what is going on in their world at this time.  I worry about them and the whole situation makes me sad . . . and I understand their plight . . . they are doing what they have to do.

Peace may or may not come after the storm, but it is a risk they are willing to take.  We will all have taken chances during our lifetime in search of a dream, no matter how big or small.  My prayers are with them . . . and for a peaceful world that we may or may not see in our lifetime.  I pray that we do . . . we are all in God's hands.

The events of the past week have really had me thinking about these friends and what they must be going through at this time.  My fascination with Egypt started as a child when I first discovered the love of books and the library that opened up the world to me . . . and my interest was in the rich history, the artifacts.  It broke my heart when I heard that there was a fire at the Cairo Museum that would potentially destroy treasures of the past.

All these thoughts prompted me to make the following video . . . a tribute to Egyptians, their rich history and beautiful country . . .

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