Saturday, September 1, 2012

Works of peace and love


Every act of love is a work of peace 
no matter how small.
Blessed Mother Teresa



In a recent blog post, I wrote about little things that are so important.  Since writing that post I have thought a lot about those little things.

The feeling of peace and contentment can be an act of love that is as simple as making your sweetie something to drink or surprise them with a snack when they least expect it.  For me, that awesome feeling of peace comes with the resulting smile and sparkly eyes that don't even need words.

Understanding is a necessary act of love which leads to a peaceful and happy relationship.  It takes time to break old habits that can be very irritating to another in a new relationship, but once conquered, the resulting peace is worth it.  I'm still learning!

Mutual respect should be on the list of high priorities . . . it works hand in hand with understanding.  Broken respect can turn an otherwise peaceful and loving relationship into a battleground.  Dagger beams replace acts of love . . . not a good thing!

As normal human beings, we learn how to push the buttons of another person.  Why not push the buttons that result in peace and love?





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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Stress in high gear


Racing through life is very stressful. If we stay in high gear too long, we lose our ability to shift down. And when we're stressed, we can't access happiness, appreciation, fun, compassion, generosity, awareness of beauty and other wonderful qualities. High stress also triggers negative emotions like frustration, impatience, anger and fear. Life has so much to offer if we will slow down and truly experience it. We must always remember that we are the ones in control of the accelerator. We CAN choose to brake. (John & Patrice Robson) - 





A racing mind with thoughts and fears running swiftly through one emotion after another can be just as exhausting as physical demands and activities.

Times of change and transition take me through the myriad of emotions, resulting in high anxiety and restlessness.  Sleep will escape me and then capture me, begging to catch up.

At the same time, it is a period of appreciation for everything I have been blessed with in my life.  Our approaching one-year wedding anniversary brings so much joy, but at the same time, the frustration of this self-imposed stressful time counteracts the good vs bad thoughts racing through my mind.

The result is that dreaded ride on the roller coaster that doesn't stop.

The above quote hit home for me today as I try to shut down those racing thoughts that have recently consumed me.  Although I know that I am ultimately in control of my thoughts and reactions to those thoughts, sometimes it is difficult to "shift down."


Can you relate to the quote?

How do you "shift down" back to "normal"?







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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Little Things



The little things? 

The little moments? 

They aren't little.


Jon Kabat-Zinn








When I read the above quote this morning, my thoughts immediately went to a song from my childhood that I have not heard in years, but the lyrics and melody of the song rang through my mind like a whirlwind.

The song is about little things being so important in a romantic relationship, but it applies to any relationship.

Sometimes in the midst of everyday life, we get busy and forget those little things.  I'm guilty of it like everyone else.  

It is so important to remember those little things, those little moments . . . they are what make great memories and great relationships.

Random acts of kindness show that you care.  It doesn't have to be a big thing that takes lots of time or even money.  A simple smile "just because"  can go a long way.

I have a particular soft spot in my heart for old folks.  Many times you see them alone at the grocery store, pushing their cart down the aisles, looking so sad.  I seek them out, make eye contact and smile.  The smile that is returned . . . a twinkle in their eyes that acknowledges appreciation that someone cared enough to notice them . . . it can make my day.  It was just a little thing, but it really wasn't little.

My husband makes my day every time we go somewhere and reaches out to hold my hand or gives me a kiss out of nowhere, for no reason.  Just a little thing that means so much to me.

Little things are awesome.  
They are what makes life special.

The song took me back to my childhood and wonderful memories of one of the most important people in my life . . . my nana.  It made me smile as I remembered some little things from my past that were so special.






Little Things | Bobby Goldsboro
Lyrics

Little things that you do make me glad I'm in love with you
Little things that you say make me glad that I feel this way
The way you smile, the way you hold my hand
And when I'm down you always understand
You know I love those

Little things in my ear that you say when there's no one near
Little things that you do let me know that your love is true
When we walk, you like to hold my hand
And when we talk you tell me I'm your man
You know I love those

Little things that I hear, the little things you whisper in my ear
I know there ain't nobody else like you
No one could do the little things you do-oo

Little things that you do make me glad I'm in love with you
Little things that you say make me glad that I feel this way
When we walk, you like to hold my hand
And when we talk you tell me I'm your man
You know I love those

Little things that I hear, the little things you whisper in my ear
I know there ain't nobody else like you
No one could do the little things you do-oo



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Sunday, August 5, 2012

The gift of dissappointment




The gift of disappointment is to bring us into reality so we don’t get stuck in the realm of how things might have been.

Sometimes you just have to walk away!


Whenever we do something in life with an expectation of how we’d like it to turn out, we risk experiencing disappointment. When things don’t go the way we had envisioned, we may feel a range of emotions from slightly let down to depressed or even angry. We might direct our feelings inward toward ourselves, or outward toward other people or the universe in general. Whether we feel disappointed by ourselves, a friend, or life in general, disappointment is always a tough feeling to experience. Still, it is a natural part of life, and there are many ways of dealing with it when we find ourselves in its presence.

As with any feeling, disappointment has come to us for a reason, and we don’t need to fear acknowledging it or feeling it. The more we are able to accept how we are feeling and process it, the sooner we will move into new emotional territory. As we sit down to allow ourselves to feel our disappointment, we might want to write about the experience of being disappointed—the situation that preceded it, what we were hoping would happen, and what did happen. The gift of disappointment is its ability to bring us into alignment with reality so that we don’t get stuck for too long in the realm of how things might have been.

As we consider other disappointments in our life and how we have moved past them, we may even see that in some cases what happened was actually better in the long run than what we had wanted to happen. Disappointment often leaves us feeling deflated with its message that things don’t always turn out the way we want. The beauty of disappointment, though, is that it provides us a bridge to its other side where the acceptance of reality, wisdom, and the energy to begin again can be found.

Source:  Daily Om





No one is immune from disappointment.  

The fact is, I disappoint myself routinely.  Don't we all?  

To compound the gift of disappointment I give myself, great expectations from others results in further disappointment.  It can be a vicious cycle.  I end up disappointing myself for expecting too much from others.  Double whammy all the way around!  Great expectations bring on another form of disappointment fixated on someone else.

Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes in life.

Wasted emotions that suck up energy!!

Acceptance of reality is the natural remedy.  

Easier said than done . . . I know! 




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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Thank you . . . no matter what!




If the only prayer you ever say in your
entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

Meister Eckhart





It doesn't matter what you are going through
 or what your life circumstance is . . . 

it could be worse.

This too shall pass!






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Sunday, July 15, 2012

Relationship with self



The most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. 

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

Source: The Daily Om





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Sunday, July 8, 2012

Anxiety and Tranquility




You may be plagued by anxious feelings today. If you feel overly pressured to succeed in your personal and professional spheres, you could begin retaining tension in your body. The nervous stress affecting your mind could quickly cause your muscles to grow painfully tight and inflexible. You could ease the strain in your mind and body by examining the root cause for your worries. Your expectations may be too high, or you may feel that you must live up to the expectations set forth by a boss or loved one. You may find that a simple breathing meditation, where you focus wholeheartedly on drawing in and expelling air, calms your mind and, as a result, relieves your physical tension. Your muscles will likely feel looser and more flexible today once you have dealt with the anxiety in your mind. 
Often, the simplest way to ease tension that has built up in the body is by letting go of our worries. Because our physical and mental selves are so intimately connected, what affects one often impacts the other. You can encourage well-being in your body by paying close attention to your feelings and reactions in life. When distressing thoughts rear up in your mind, engaging in activities that promote peace will prevent them from interfering with your physical health. Stress won’t have an opportunity to establish itself in your body when you use calming exercises to alleviate your mind. When you ease up on putting pressure on yourself today, your body will relax accordingly.
 Source: Daily Om

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stress, which helps one cope with a tense situation. However, anxiety can become excessive, producing irrational dread of everyday situations, making it a disabling disorder that is often misunderstood in our society.

Loved ones can be very important allies in the successful recovery of a person with an anxiety disorder. In order to ensure a successful recovery, the loved ones should be supportive, but not help perpetuate their loved one’s symptoms, be educated about the condition and not trivialize the disorder or demand improvement without understanding.

Make time for yourself, pamper yourself . . . and find ways to relax.


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