Love Talk

A humorous way to look at 'love' . . .

"People use the word 'love' a lot of different ways. Take me, for instance. I am often heard saying that I love my mom and dad. I am also often heard saying that I love pizza. 

What am I saying when I say I love my mom and dad? 

I'm saying that I care about them. I'm saying that I love spending time with them and that I talk to them every chance I get. I'm saying that if they needed me, I would do every humanly possible to help them. I'm saying that I always want what's best for them. 

What am I saying when I say I love pizza? Am I saying that I care deeply about pizza? Am I saying that I have a relationship with pizza? Am I saying that if pizza had a problem, I would be there for the pizza?  Of course not. 

When I say I love pizza, I'm just saying that I enjoy eating pizza until I don't want any more pizza. Once I'm tired of the pizza, I don't care what happens to the rest of it. I'll throw it away. I'll feed it to the dog. I'll stick it in the back of the refrigerator. It doesn't matter to me anymore. 

These are two very different definitions of the word 'love'. It gets confusing when people start talking about love, and especially about loving you. 

Which way do these people love you? Do they want what is best for you, or do they just want you around because it is good for them, and they don't really care what happens to you? 

Next time someone looks deeply into your eyes and says 'I love you', look very deeply right back and say, 'Would that be pizza love, or the real thing?"

~ Mary Beth Bonacci ~

Source:  The Daily Love

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Sending cupid's love

What would Valentine’s Day be without that cute little character, Cupid, the winged boy armed with his bow and arrow?

Cupid with his bow and arrow signifies desires and emotions of love . . . when Cupid’s arrow hits those he aims for, they fall deeply in love.

Who is this boy anyway? Did you ever wonder where he came from?

Cupid, known as the Roman god of love and the counterpart of the Greek god Eros was the youngest of the gods, the offspring of Venus, the goddess of love, and Mars, the god of war. He was born with the attributes of his parents, love and war.

Cupid just happens to be a part of one of the great love stories from Classical Mythology . . . his own.

There once was a beautiful princess who was adored by everyone . . . her name was Psyche. The beautiful princess was so captivating that the people began to forget about Venus. The goddess of love grew very jealous of Psyche and plotted revenge against her . . . but what could she do?

She decided to send her son Cupid on a mission of deceipt, armed with his magical arrow . . . he was to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest man ever.

However, Cupid was equally captivated and obsessed with her beauty! He was so overcome by his obsession that he dropped his magical arrow on his foot.

It was love at first sight for Cupid and the couple became lovers . . . but there was one condition . . . Psyche was forbidden to look at Cupid. Psyche’s human frailties consumed her and one night, as Cupid slept, she took a peek . . . and he quickly awoke and caught her looking at him. As quickly as he was taken by love, he was now consumed with the fear of his mother’s wrath and ran away.

After years of searching the world, Psyche, heartbroken and determined to find her lover was finally granted immortality by Jupiter.

They lived happily ever after . . . shouldn’t all lovers?

Happy Valentine’s Day

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Waiting for Someday

If today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate.

The time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly. How we utilize that time is consequently one of the most important decisions we make. Yet it is far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today. The hectic pace of modern existence affords us an easy out; we shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present, ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished other lesser goals. In truth, it is our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now—because we view failure as a possibility, our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational. If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us.

When regarded as a question, "Why not now?" drains us of our power to realize our ambitions. We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin courting it. Yet when we look decisively at our existence and state, "Why not now, indeed!" we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment. We procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present. Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve it more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal presently.

All the joy, passion, and contentment you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in some far-flung point in time. You need only remind yourself that there is nothing standing between you and fulfillment. If you decide that today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate. 

Source:  Daily Om

Procrastination is a subject I've written about often since it is what I consider one of my really bad traits.

After more time than I care to mention, I have finally reached "someday" and I can't explain how wonderful the feeling of accomplishment has been.

The best way I can describe how I approached the problem is to say that when I started thinking realistically about what I have been putting off until "someday" it made me feel so weak in character.  I hate weakness and had never seen my procrastination in this light.

As a result, I started approaching it in small bites, knowing when to stop before burning out.  The best thing for me is to know when to stop, take a break and check out the progress while relaxing, and allowing myself to feel the satisfaction of accomplishment.  My changed perspective has made a huge difference!

Is has been a month and I am still making incremental improvements every day.  Some days I work on it more than others.

I'm happy to say that I have not felt this "normal" in a very long time!

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About Needing Love

You will never know how much having love in your life means to you until you have lost it.  Losing it suddenly puts you in a "strange box" of shock and disbelief that is difficult to get out of, leaving you broken in a million pieces.  It left me feeling like such a freak of nature. At least that is how it was for me.  It didn't get better as time moved on, it just changed.

This morning I was thinking about what my world was like without love compared to now that I have found love.  Those thoughts took me back to a post I wrote many years ago that goes back to a transitional place in time between needing solitude and needing companionship and love.

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 2007

My quest to find love came two years after JR died. I needed love at the two year mark . . . like that broken window, I could see my blindness and it was like the light of my life was turned on again.

Although I was surrounded by friends anytime I wanted to be, I had locked myself into a dark room refusing to come out and live life. I will never cry that much in my life again . . . it was a living hell. I had turned cold, like a robot, not wanting to feel, not wanting to talk, not wanting to see the light . . . the darkness of my bedroom sitting in my comfy recliner with music playing was all I needed.

Sure, I went through the motions of being social and hanging out with friends . . . but sometimes it is worse to be lonely in a room full of people than being alone with your thoughts and the ability to cry when you want to if that is what you need to do. That is when I retreated back to my dark room, it is how I could cope and adjust to everything I was dealing with at the time. I lost many friends who gave up on me for being anti-social and judging me for not "getting over it" . . . were they really friends?

There is one thing that I have learned in life . . . people who have not walked in your shoes will never understand that dealing with a problem, it doesn't matter what it is . . . takes a different approach for different people and varying amounts of time. Who is the "be all to end all" that decided what those time limits are? For me . . . the answer is God . . . everything happens in God's time for his reasons.

First thing I did was put in a personals profile on an online dating service. I met and dated a professional guy who was very nice, financially secure, looking for a wife . . . wanted to settle down NOW. My life would have been set with this man . . . I was perfect for him. A professional guy needs a partner who loves to entertain, knows how to throw a party, mingle with people and cook for an army. After a month, he was making plans on selling my house so I could move in with him. WOW . . . he was moving fast. I was still building trust and friendship . . . and trying to find just a little spark of chemistry. In the end, I frustrated the hell out of that poor man, but it showed me that I was not ready for that type of relationship although I still needed love.

Then I became emotionally attached to someone on the other side of the world through the magic of Yahoo Messenger, web cams and telephones. The mistakes I have made with an online relationship was allowing myself to have feelings for someone who is so far away that they may as well live on the other side of midnight. The way it will work for me is to not have expectations since meeting someone online and getting to know them gradually is perfect for me. I'm still not ready for the traditional way of dating. I have "dated" three guys the traditional way and it does not work for me at this time.

What does love mean to me? 

One of my friends has a saying that I love so much . . . two hearts collide and melt into each other's soul . . . that is what love means to me. Being a part of another person, facing life together as partners, experiencing good times and bad supporting each other. Love means the end of loneliness, the end of fear of being alone, security, the sense of belonging and the awesome feeling of the caring and nurturing of another person.

JR's death taught me of importance of maintaining one's individuality at the time . . . I didn't do that with him . . . I was part of a couple . . . not Gina the individual who was JR's life partner.

Right now, I will admit that I am in a self-imposed sentimental prison . . . it is where I need to be to get past some other problems that need to be addressed. I'm not going out looking for someone to love, I'm not even going out casually to make new friends. It is not the right time for me.

These lyrics . . . "driving into town tired and depressed, like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s., peace comes to my rescue and i don't know what it means . . . i need love" . . .

What is the peace that will come to my rescue? That is the answer to one of the biggest questions in my life . . . and I'll know what it is when I find it . . . when God delivers it to me in whatever form he wants.

Lyrics:I Need LoveSixpence None The Richer

i left my conscience like a crying child
locked the door behind me put the pain on file
broken like a window i see my blindness now

i need love
not some sentimental prison
i need god
not the political church
i need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
i need love

driving into town tired and depressed
like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s.
peace comes to my rescue and i don't know what it means
i need love

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Fate, destiny and being alone

The following post was written at a time of missing JR so bad, feeling so alone, but having the faith that I would find love again, I was ready . . . I could feel my new love and that is so very special . . . a confirmation that you know that you know and have no doubt about your feelings, holding on to all the patience, hope and faith that everything will work out since it is meant to be.  

Fate and destiny.  
With passing time comes better understanding and the knowledge that life without the other will be virtually impossible.
Even though I had to wait another two years, I knew he was out there.  
I could feel his presence in my life way before he appeared. 
Isn't love wonderful?

This post was originally posted
 September 13, 2007

Alone . . . it is how things are meant to be for me at this time and place on my path. Prayers sooth my soul. Patience is what I ask for . . . I know this is where I am supposed to be . . . it doesn't matter how I feel, how anxious I am or how much I "want" . . . what I want doesn't matter.

After much contemplation and prayer, I envision "alone" as sitting on that bench on the beach . . . not a bad thing at all. Two months ago to this date I sat on that very bench gazing into the horizon, the glistening blue water, felt the wind blowing through my hair, with a cup of coffee in my hand, total peace in my head, contentment in my heart . . . I was totally alone and completely happy.

I was one with nature, talking to God, vowing to turn my life over to him to do as he will with the time I have left on this earth. What I was left with is the sound of two lonely hearts beating . . . I know I'm not to be alone much longer.

This is a time of healing, of gathering my thoughts and everything together, like getting ready to entertain and have a party . . . the table must be set, everything must be perfect for him. Time will do that for both of us. He knows I'm here and I know he's there . . . he feels me and I feel him . . . our eyes have not yet met.

Alone . . . this is how it feels to be at a crossroads of life, impatiently frustrated one day, positively anticipating destiny the next . . . and somewhere in between is lunacy, madness . . . a state of limbo and numbness.

I'm getting my life in order and he is doing what he has to do to prepare for me in his life too. Destiny awaits . . . the beat of my lonely heart feels the beat of your heart, I can hear you breathing with a sigh of the wind my love . . . you are so near, yet still so far away . . . but I'll wait as I pray for patience. You were made for me and I'm feeling you.

"And all the wonders made for the earth

And all the hearts in all creation

Another story there to be told"


And we will have our happy song to sing . . .

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Love is a Mystery

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, the one who believes in Prince Charming and Fairy Tales, love is one of my favorite subjects to ponder.

Love is a mystery for sure!

Ponder these questions that have come

to my mind and this

phenomena of chemical attraction and lust,

a chance meeting that can change your life.

With that thought in mind, I'm reminded of the

movies Serendipity and The Bridges of 
Madison County.

It is all about a chance meeting, awesome
chemistry between two people, love,
fate and destiny.


Why do some people affect us so profoundly
while others don't phase us? 


What is this chemistry that grabs a hold of us
like a strong magnet that refuses to let go?


It is not always about chance meetings and lust.

Why is it that you can know someone for a while
and then all of a sudden you feel that magnet pull?

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Head Over Heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out till I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

Ah don't take my heart

Don't break my heart

Don't throw it away

lyrics from the song

Head Over Heels|Tears for Fears

As I was enjoying a relaxing morning sitting outdoors in what I consider to be perfect Florida weather, enjoying nature and feeling so thankful for everything I have been blessed with, thoughts of fairy tale love and fantasies came to my mind.  

The thoughts came out of nowhere!  Then this song started playing in my head and I remembered that I had written a blog post many years ago about the fairy tale love most women dream of.  So I decided to include this beautiful post about this aspect of love . . . fairy tales, fantasies and the dream of a future love yet to happen. 

Or maybe I'm just a romantic fool . . .

This post was originally published 

on November 1, 2007

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without.
If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?
Fall head over heels.
I say find someone you can love like crazy and
who'll love you the same way back.
And how do you find him?
Forget your head and listen to your heart.
I'm not hearing any heart.
Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back.
Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this.
To make the journey and not fall deeply in love -
well, you haven't lived a life at all.
You have to try.
Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived".

[William Parrish] from the movie,
Meet Joe Black (1998)



This kind of love is worth the risk of getting hurt. It is pure and innocent, something uncontrollable to even the most composed and sophisticated person. The way you deal with it may be different than another person, but one thing we have in common as humans is not being able to control love. You can't, no matter how much you try. It just is . . .

My faith in meeting someone online is still strong since I continue to find men who attract me . . . that doesn't happen often in real life. Maybe it is because the internet includes the whole world instead of just a city, no matter how large.  Another variable is the emphases on personality.  After all, it is our first encounter with someone online.   The written word expresses ourselves more than the spoken word since we usually have time to think about what we are saying. 
I can't say finding someone attractive online happens every day or very often . . . in three years I would narrow it down to a few men . . . not many when you consider that I have spent considerable time in chat rooms and must have run into thousands of men online. So I'm not as fickle as you are thinking.

Something that still amazes me is the phenomena of "butterflies in the stomach" . . . have you ever been in love that much? There have been times when I felt physically sick with love . . . can't eat, no appetite. Losing weight is a sign that I'm in love, because the butterflies in my stomach make food very unappealing.

Then there is the heart "skipping a beat" thing . . . it does for me. Does that always mean love? Not for me, I don't think . . . although one person in particular makes me feel like a school girl teenager again . . . when I see that he is online or read something he's written, my heart skips a beat. If he has left a comment on my page . . . at first glance my heart wildly skips a beat. What it means is that I really need to meet this guy because I have some special chemistry for him . . . big time. He so inspires my writing about love and romance . . . guess who my fantasy man looks like. It is he who makes my heart skip a beat. 
He is the sign that everything is going to be ok . . .  I can feel this way about someone again . . . I'm alive again.

This is the feeling that begins the type of love described in the quote.
The happily ever after fairy tale love . . . Prince Charming & the Princess.
It has gone on since I got my first invitation to be his friend a while back. I feel like God throws me these weird little happenings, like a pleasant little joy to get me through the day. Kinda like a chocolate indulgence that you enjoy for the moment. 
I can't say I "love" this guy . . . I don't know him and never will, he lives in another world far away . . . let's call it a strange fascination that has gone on for quite some time that I have tried to ignore and just walk away with a smile on my face. He scares me . . . it is that "strange magic" thing with him.

He could have been put in my path to make the rocky road easier to walk. How could a total stranger so turn my head, capture my thoughts and feed my fantasies?  Diversions . . . God's little treats when life is otherwise not going well and needs us to keep the spirit.

Head over heels in love is what I live for . . . a true romantic who is in love with love feels that way about a love so beautiful that it is uncontrollable, wild and wonderful . . . especially when the feeling is reciprocated for real . . . and living happily ever after.

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