New Year Resolutions . . . if you must!

Through the years I've written many posts regarding New Year Resolutions.  In my opinion, this yearly ritual is a set up for failure.  They don't work for me, so I try to make incremental changes throughout the year as I deem them necessary.

How about you?  

Facebook is buzzing with everyone's New Year Resolutions that will probably be long forgotten in February.  

Something I find very amusing . . . the weight loss commercials on television that promptly start after Christmas.  Most of them are gone by February!

If you are one of those people who must make resolutions for the new year, I found an article on Real Simple that you may find useful.  The link to the entire article can be found at the bottom of this post.

Some tips to help you achieve your goals:

Be Specific

Vague goals won’t work. “You’ve got to develop a specific action plan for change,” says John Norcross, Ph.D., co-author of Changeology: 5 Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions ($25, amazon.com). Map out your strategy before New Year’s arrives.

Make Your Goal Public

Share your decision to change with friends and family who can offer support when you’re wavering and encouragement when you’re doing well at sticking to your resolution. “Public commitments are generally more successful than private decisions,” says Norcross.

Substitute Good Behaviors for “Bad”

Don’t rely on willpower alone to help you change, advises Norcross. That approach won’t work. Instead, build in a healthy behavior that’s incompatible with the one you want to change.

Track Your Progress

Record or chart your changed behavior. “Research indicates that such ‘self-monitoring’ increases the probability of keeping your resolution,” says Norcross.

Ready to make your plan? Here are more specific tips on:

How to save money

How to lose weight

How to reduce stress

How to drink less

How to get in better shape

How to get ahead at work

How to improve your relationships

Happy New Year to everyone and good luck with your resolutions!

To view the entire article, click here.

Finding Hidden Gifts

"We need to make friends with what we reject, what we see as "bad" in ourselves and in other people. We must not only tolerate what we find painful, but actually approach it more deeply, more wholeheartedly rather than trying to escape from it. The only way to do this successfully is with an open heart, letting it soften you. This way you are not attacking it or seeking to eradicate it, but instead embracing it. For only then will it serve the purpose for which it exists and can reveal to you the gift hidden within it.

Identify something you reject in yourself or in another and take it into your heart. Let it speak to you and reveal its teaching, blessing or energy." 

Source: The Soul Journey 

Well, it sounds easy, doesn't it?

Letting those irritating things in ourselves and others speak to us is one thing . . . they already speak volumes to me!  The trick is allowing it to reveal its blessing in our lives when it is painful or a major irritation robbing us of peace and happiness.

It seems to me that it is all in the perspective in which it is approached.  A positive thinker will embrace the hidden gift rather quickly, while the negative thinker will see it as an impossible task.  

The negative thinker will just want to sweep it under the rug and either ignore it completely, hoping it will just go away or complain about it, declaring that life is just not fair and hoping that since they are entitled to be happy, the situation or the trait will just go away.  Guess what?  It won't!

There are many levels and aspects of this concept.  While seeking the hidden gifts in our own flaws may be an achievable task, it is quite a different story when it comes to another person.  Disagreements in a relationship usually have so many layers, they get convoluted when combined with personality traits.

Perhaps the way to first approach the situation is to envision the end result in a compassionate and positive manner . . . peace and happiness.  Ask yourself the right questions . . . "how can peace and happiness be achieved in this situation?" . . . take each identifying factor individually rather than combined with everything else.

When it comes to evaluating and analyzing the irritating thing involving someone else, make sure that all bitterness and anger of the situation is set aside before even attempting to think about it positively.

All in all, I found this concept very interesting and can prove to be an insightful way to look at life situations and those special people in our lives.  We are all special and unique individuals with our gifts (whether they be hidden or not) that others find pleasant and attractive which also comes with those things that are irritating!

Love yourself and those you love enough to find those hidden gifts!

  

Sad season!

Being a news junkie with all the bad news of the world made for a very depressing holiday season.

Each year that passes holds the promise that "this will be the year" that I enjoy the holidays again.  However, the blue funk starts right around Halloween to coincide with Christmas being pushed down our throats earlier every year by the retail trade.  

You can't blame them, they are just trying to survive these weak economic times.

This year's news has been unusually disturbing to me.  Ugly politics, fiscal cliffs, a violent hurricane leaving unimaginable devastation and another sad school shooting has done me in.  But, as I sit at my computer writing this post, the news is on the television!

I was going to write a series of posts about the school shooting, gun control and the sad state of mental health . . . but I've seen too much ugliness at other blogs that I just don't want to deal with, so I have decided against it.  I'm not here to be controversial.  There is enough of that on the news!

Needless to say, I've taken a backward turn to the dark side and further away from peace, love and happiness than I care to be.  

I know I'm not alone with these feelings . . . the holiday season is not a happy one for many in this world . . . and I can't imagine anyone going through the season who have been affected by the tragedies we have heard about on the news!

Having said all that, the emphasis for the new year will once again be on optimism and attitude adjustment. I'm so happy the Christmas holiday is over and the symbolic new beginning of a year is upon us!