The need to be alone

 

The one thing that has bothered me most in my grief journey is having to explain myself constantly and feeling like I am not heard.  Having gone through the widow journey twice, I am just tired of being misunderstood and want to be totally alone to finally give myself permission to heal in my own way without being "discussed and judged" by others.  Just leave me alone, you have "helped" enough.  Your concern is killing me.

Rather than try to explain once again, the following post from a Facebook group perfectly describes how I have been feeling most of my adult life.  In my opinion, if you truly care about someone, you try to understand instead of asking the same insulting questions over and over again . . . no wonder I no longer want to be around those who have continually hurt me.  It started a long, long time ago . . . and it is more than just grief.

"When she goes quiet, it’s crucial to understand: it’s not because she has nothing left to say. Her silence isn’t emptiness; it’s incredibly full. Full of words too heavy to speak, full of emotions too raw to unravel, full of a pain that feels utterly impossible to put into coherent sentences.

She’s tired. Profoundly tired. Tired of explaining herself over and over again, only to be met with blank stares or superficial nods. Tired of being so consistently misunderstood. Tired of tirelessly holding it all together when no one around her truly sees the cracks forming, slowly, beneath her surface.

Her silence isn’t indifference; it’s sheer exhaustion. It’s the immense weight of carrying battles no one else can see, of fighting internal wars while bravely pretending everything is fine on the outside. Sometimes, the deepest battles are fought in silence, and the loudest cries go tragically unheard because they never even leave her lips.

And maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t need solutions or advice right now. Maybe she just needs someone to acknowledge the storm without demanding an explanation. Because her silence isn’t weakness—it’s survival. And sometimes, the bravest thing a woman can do is simply stay silent when the world relentlessly expects her to speak, to perform, to be "fine." This is her unfiltered emotion in its rawest form."

Source: A post from a Facebook group, Deep Feelings

https://www.facebook.com/groups/768416138555327/