Life's moments

When there's something that needs to be done,
give yourself a moment to do it.

When there's a decision that must be made,
give yourself a moment to think it through.

When life demands a response,
give yourself a moment to find the
most positive and meaningful one.

When someone is explaining something to you,
give yourself a moment to truly listen and to understand.

Life is made up of many moments, one right after another. The big outcomes, results and achievements depend on what you do with all those little moments along the way. With each moment you can choose to let it pass or to let it bring you down. Or, you can decide to make good use of that moment with positive purpose, value and love.

How many times have you looked back on your life with regret, and wished you had given yourself a moment to do what could have easily been done? Now is your opportunity to avoid such future regrets by recognizing the great value in each moment.

When life is asking something of you,
give yourself a moment to make it right.

And when you add up all those moments,
you'll find you've made life great.

(Ralph Marston)

Sometimes life's moments have got to be taken in tiny little doses . . . like minutes or seconds at a time, a day at a time or a week at a time . . . whatever is necessary to go through whatever you are going through.

Ralph Marston's writings are so inspirational to me!  Hope you were able to find inspiration in this one as I did.

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Anxiety and life phases

~ I'm Fine | Heart ~


It has occurred to me today that life is just a cycle of phases, some good, some bad, all contributing to the person we are today.  Of course each time we tend to feel as though we are losing it, like in my featured song by Heart.

Since we are entering Week #4 of no running water, I needed to read old posts and remind myself of where I have been and the anxiety associated with it. I always tell myself "this too shall pass" . . . and it does!

Anxiety comes in different phases, usually dependent on what the current life circumstances are.

I have selected two phases of my life to write about.

The first post found me entering an exciting new chapter in my life after successfully completing training for the job I knew was made for me.  I remember being so happy, although the disappointment of the job as it really was and the attitude of "corporate America" toward its employees ultimately took me through another time of anxiety and the feeling of failure.

The positive aspects of this experience was the feeling of accomplishment for finally getting out of the house, going after that job I wanted so badly and successfully completing some emotionally draining training.  Even though the job didn't work out, no one would have ever suspected I had previously been so apprehensive about leaving my comfort zone and shutting myself out of society for so many years.

Today I am so very grateful that I don't have to face "corporate America" again . . . I can say with certainty that those days are over. 

Notice a theme here?

The last post found me at a time of high anxiety as I had quit smoking and thought I had a grip on it . . . at the same time I decided I no longer needed my anxiety medication and was weaning myself off.  Big mistake!  The attempt of quitting smoking is a high anxiety endeavor anyway . . . not a time to get off of anxiety medication.  My doctor was very angry with me and convinced me to start taking them again.

The lesson I learned is taking medication for a legitimate problem is nothing to be ashamed of.  The shame is to not do anything about a problem that exists.

Many of us are afflicted with high anxiety for whatever reason.  Don't be afraid of medication . . . it is necessary when problems arise so you can deal with them with a clear head and attitude.  Mine has never gone away, I can just deal with it more effectively now.  Life challenges happen and you must be prepared for them.


This post was originally published on March 8, 2008

A new chapter in my life has begun. A time that I thought would never come, although I just took one day at a time and tried to deal with each one as best as I could. Every time I take out my certification for successfully completing training for a job that I set in my mind over two years ago, I am so grateful for the strength that God gave me to make it through those bad times and gave me enough faith in myself to go for it and make it through the training that I almost walked out of several times.

Positive attitude and faith in ourselves and our creator goes a long way and through times we think we can't get through. We can go through life in a bad mood and an awful attitude, resulting in a miserable existence. I've been through all the phases.

It was especially rough when I made the decision that I needed to quit smoking if I was going to join the real world and get a real job since the realization hit me that selling "whatever" on eBay was no longer going to provide the comfortable life that I had grown accustomed to. In retrospect I think it was divine intervention to finally get me out of my house. God works in mysterious ways to teach us lessons and make us stronger.

As I get ready for the new chapter of my life with a new career and the contentment, peace of mind and security I was searching for, I started my one day off with my first cup of coffee reading some of my old posts so I can truly savor this moment and appreciate the emotions of accomplishment.

The following post was written as I was well into my endeavor of quitting smoking . . . the "no smoking weight gain" was starting to creep up on me . . . it was just a bad time that gives me so much appreciation for the changes I have made in my life.

There was always hope for me even though I didn't always think so . . . there is also hope for anyone going through a bad time, no matter what the circumstance . . . with faith and a positive attitude.

This post was originally published on December 11, 2006

Not asking for much . . . not even happiness at the moment since that seems like an impossible dream, just CONTENTMENT and peace of mind would be great.

The past couple of days have been awful . . . I am convinced it is withdrawals from quitting smoking and/or getting off my medication. Feelings of restlessness and anxiety have consumed me and just about everything is making me irritable. The cravings to smoke a cigarette are virtually gone, although they do hit me when I least expect it, but pass quickly.

I had done some research on withdrawal from my medication and the good news is that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as I expected them to be based on my research. I always took way less than prescribed because I hate being dependent on anything and was so scared of becoming addicted to them. Today I am thankful that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as they could be even though I am ready to climb the walls from this anxiety.

My state of anxiety is all about my life's general frustrations and irritations.

I'm still dealing with no hot water and having to boil water for everything. The repair people will finally be here tomorrow and hopefully it will be fixed.

The one thing that is really irritating me is the weight that I have gained as a result of not smoking anymore. I am not doing anything different, although I am hungry all the time. The weight gain came fast and has really made me sad since I have worked so hard to take it off. Now I have to work doubly hard to get that under control. I just spent 1/2 hour on the exercise bike to get rid of anxiety and hopefully keep the weight gain from continuing. 

This is the story of my life . . . something positive always brings the negative to bring me down. I can't win!

I'm off to experience the one thing that always makes me happy and content . . . my first cup of coffee for the day. I'll also have to check out my music collection and find some happy music. Those two things will instantly put me in a better state of mind.

This is going to be an awesome week in spite of all of this . . . I'm determined!

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Does money rule?

Yes it does!

This time my survival mode has to do with money.  However, The Captain and I are not alone in this struggle . . . there is so much going on in the United States, and it is not good.

"If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master."

-- Francis Bacon

In what ways does money rule your life?

Money has entered so deeply into our lives that it can become our primary reference point. We make so many of our decisions based on how they affect the bottom line. Do you compromise things you really value for money? Has the power of money hurt your relationships, your health, your work or your self-respect?

"If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life."

-- Billy Graham

How do you think of money?

"Money is a highly charged subject. And most of the emotions people feel around it are negative: fear, shame, embarrassment, anger."

-- Jerrold Mundis

How do you feel about money?

Many of us are afraid of money. With this fear, we avoid dealing honestly and completely with our financial situation. We only have a vague idea of how much money we earn and spend, and even how much we owe. By refusing to accept financial responsibility, we sacrifice our chances for a better life.

"Choosing wealth as a goal requires facing everything about your money bravely, honestly, with courage -- which is a very, very hard thing for most of us to do. But it can be done."

-- Suze Orman

Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want. 

-- Geoffrey F. Abert

Since becoming a widow, I have contemplated the role of money in my life and the difference between wants and needs.  Somehow I have always made it financially without changing my quality of life in a drastic way.

Like so many others living in the United States, our changing society and governmental rules have us concerned about our future and basic survival.

Although the country is experiencing a tremendous transformation, I still believe that prosperity is within reach for anyone who is innovative and willing to make sacrifices to get there.  That is where The Captain and I have been . . . making sacrifices now for a prosperous future.

This week finds us somewhat backed up against the wall and having to make major decisions and more sacrifices . . . not resulting from a "want," but a very important "need" that I don't think anyone can live without.  I consider this a major crisis like I have never encountered in my life and it has really made me think about the role of money in our lives, even if we live the "simple abundance life."  

Yes, I am having an extremely difficult time having any semblance of peace and serenity at the moment, but so far, I have kept it together rather well.  I pray that the current plan will work for us and be over with quickly . . . should we be that lucky.   However, luck has escaped us lately.

Current events in government have collided with our dilemma this week and the news of so much devastating news regarding basic health care has really bothered me.  Life changing decisions are being made in thousands or millions of households as we face our challenge.  Their nightmare is not going to go away soon.  Thank God Obamacare does not affect our lives . . . at least not at the moment.

Money has not ruled my life for a very long time . . . however, this latest event that most homeowners face has rudely made money a major part in the quality of our lives.  Two major events for us within a month or so has been a definite wake up call.

Whether we want to admit it or not . . . money does rule.  It is a necessary evil in my opinion.

"This too shall pass" for us . . . 

but I worry about the thousands or millions

of my fellow citizens affected by decisions our

government is making.  

How will it affect the quality of their lives?  

Where will they turn?

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Be Myself Again

At this time in my life, I can look back and see how far I've moved forward.  I've learned that it is good to look back as you are moving forward . . . it answers the question "What I gained, what it'd cost?"

This post is another that looks back at a time of confusing life circumstances.  Looking back makes me realize that I am almost myself again.


Lyrics from Donna Summer ~ Be Myself Again

"'Cause you could spend your life
Lookin' for your own reflection
Time could blur the lines
Between what's real
And what's projected
Had I known what I lost? 
What I gained, what it'd cost
I'd still give what remains
To be myself again"

This post was 

originally published 

on May 28, 2008

Another day has passed and I'm feeling so much better after more thinking and pondering on the following concept. Yes, I think way too much, but it helps me get to the root of what is bothering me.

The featured song "Be Myself Again" from Donna Summer's new release, Crayons, seems like it was written for me at this time in my life.

Often the strongest decisions come out of the worst situations.

It's those bad circumstances that often give the fuel of desire the greatest power.

Unfortunately, with many people, once the desire is born, they continue looking back to justify the desire by pointing out how bad things are - and when they look back, they are not moving forward and focusing upon the way things should be.

Then the inner struggle begins and the fuel of desire loses its power . . . we do it to ourselves.

What actually goes wrong? Not the situation itself . . . it is what is done with it.

You imagine it, dream it, amplify it, look for evidence of it, talk about it, find the feeling place of it, hold yourself in the vibration of it and you keep "it" alive.

The practice is known as the "pity party" or "dwelling in the past", has no value since the lesson should have already been learned. The harder the fall, the more difficult it is to let go . . . why?

Is "the fall" a prize to be held up and adorned like a trophy?

Of course not! Throw it away . . .

Donna Summer | Be Myself Again
Lyrics

Let me introduce myself
I'm a woman that you've never seen
You might know me from somewhere else
As someone that I've never been

I gave everything to play the game
My soul fell apart at the seams
I fell down like a house of cards
When somebody pulled the queen

'Cause you could spend your life
Lookin' for your own reflection
Time could blur the lines
Between what's real
And what's projected
Had I known what I lost? 
What I gained, what it'd cost
I'd still give what remains
To be myself again

You must believe me when I say
Don't live someone else's design
Turn it around like a photograph
The writings been there all the time

Now you can have all
These hopes and dreams
The ones I can't use anymore
I don't know what it is you lost
But I hope you got what you came for

Sometimes I want to leave right now
Sometimes I want to cry out loud
I want to let it all hang out
But I don't want to let you down

Sometimes I want to just lay here
Sometimes I want to disappear
I want to show you all my fear
But I don't want to let you down

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Thank you . . . no matter what!

If the only prayer you ever say in your

entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

Meister Eckhart

It doesn't matter what you are going through

 or what your life circumstance is . . . 

it could be worse.

This too shall pass!

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Breathing in Heaven and Earth

When we choose not to focus
On what is missing from our lives
But are grateful for the abundance
that's present,
We experience heaven on earth.

Sarah Breathnach

It was a troubling chapter in my life . . . I was so lost and desperately seeking the way to crawl out of the situation, knowing that in time I would.  Sometimes I go back to my old journals and blog posts to grasp reality and see the transitions in my life since JR died.  Those days were like a roller coaster that I could not stop . . . one day good, the next day unbearable and miserable . . . back and forth.  I had to go through it to get to where I am today.

The following post was written back in 2008.  Of course I still have bad days . . . and I've come to accept the fact that I have a condition that has been diagnosed as restlessness and anxiety.  As time goes on, I've learned how to cope when those days appear.  With the help of the wonderful man I married, I learned how to move on with life itself.  It has been quite a journey back from the depths of depression as a result of grief and drastic life changes!

One of the reasons I blog about my journey is to help others going through a life situation that seems hopeless.  Nothing is ever hopeless when you have faith that "this too shall pass" . . . it will.

The feeling of  breathing in heaven and earth is awesome . . . in good AND bad times, when you learn how to be grateful.  It is the lesson I had to learn before moving on with my life.


THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY 

WRITTEN JUNE 2008 

The presence of faith, hope and limitless opportunities in my life is what I am most grateful for today. It is the absence of faith and hope in our lives which brings the mindset of depression, hopelessness and dread of life. The ability to regain faith within us, exhibiting the strength to blindly walk the path of opportunity, pulling oneself out of the pits of depression is the feeling of heaven on earth.

Sometimes we must go there . . . to enter the pits of depression and feel the fire . . . to be reminded of how much we have to be grateful for and realize what is missing in our life. Surprisingly, at this moment, I am grateful for feeling the heat of that fire.

To wake up with a smile on my face is a blessing . . . the hope and promise of a new day rather than the dread of having to wake up to face a living hell . . . that is the feeling of heaven on earth.

The pleasure of preparing a home cooked meal, enjoying and savoring every bite . . . rather than not having the appetite for anything or the emotional energy to put it together . . . another feeling I am so grateful for at this moment.

Living life rather than anticipating and waiting for death, pulling oneself out of the pits of depression, the feeling of standing on a steep cliff and seeing your life flash before your eyes . . . I'm so grateful for heaven on earth.

A thought occurs to me . . . as long as we are breathing there is hope and opportunity is always present, we just need to open our eyes and minds to see it. And from the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara . . . tomorrow is another day.

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Finding the key

"So often time it happens,

 we all live our life in chains,

 and we never even know

 we have the key."

The Eagles, lyrics from the song

"Already Gone"

The possibilities are endless when the realization hits that we hold the key to that ball and chain many of us attach ourselves to.  

Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is an example of what could be seen as a ball and chain.  Some people confuse the ball and chain as depression . . . it is a fine line.

Life circumstances can get someone to that point and play tricks on the mind.  The thought process turns negative and everything looks impossible.  

However, nothing is impossible when we know we have that key.

In the darkest days of my life, learning how to be grateful for the simplest of things helped me realize so much and put everything into perspective.  Gratefulness was my key.

Do you know what yours is?

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Nasty habits and motivation

"Be miserable.

Or motivate yourself.

Whatever has to be done, 

it's always your choice."

Wayne Dyer

OK, fess up . . . I guess we all do it at times . . .

it is ok to want to feel miserable and throw a pity party.

I do it without realizing that I'm doing it.

It is all about changing your thinking and the way surrounding circumstances are perceived.  I'm learning that negative thinking isn't going to make my life much better or happier.  Quite the contrary.

One of my realizations is that negative thinking is a nasty habit.

Nasty habits are so hard for me to break, however, I believe that over time they can be defeated through awareness.

Choosing to motivate happiness should be the goal rather than expecting misery through negative thinking and dwelling on what is not right.  Circumstances are what they are and can't be changed . . . defeat the vicious cycle of negative thinking and make the best of the situation. 

You reap what you sow!

There was a time when I wrote notes to myself and placed them where I could see them in the midst of my daily routine on the refrigerator door, the bathroom mirror and/or my computer monitor . . . the little reminders heighten awareness to break those nasty little habits, leading thoughts in the right direction, whatever they are.

While it is healthy to look back on past experiences, it is not healthy to dwell on them or overthink them to the point of the downward spiral that can get out of control.  Thinking positively about the here and now and living for the moment is a much better practice . . . it is not living through rose-colored glasses . . . rather, it is expecting positive outcomes and breaking the vicious cycle of negative thinking while being realistic.

Peace, love and happiness . . . 

choose to be happy :) 

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Our greatest glory

Life and death situations have always been the most difficult circumstance for me to deal with, although I have had to deal with those situations way too many times in my life.

The following post was written a short time after my mom had a heart attack.  Other than the time I found myself in the emergency room with my husband  before he died,  it was the scariest time of my life.

Even those of us who are plagued with depression, anxiety or phobias can find extraordinary faith, strength and courage in times of scary uncertainty.  It is a choice . . . at least that has been my experience.  The survival instinct kicks in for me . . . it is either that or completely fall apart.


I love this quote . . .


“A woman is like a tea bag:
 you cannot tell how strong she is
 until you put her in hot water.”  


Nancy Reagan

THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON JULY 15, 2008 ON AN OLDER BLOG THAT IS NO LONGER PUBLIC

This is going to sound very strange, but today I am so grateful for the blue funky depression week that I just experienced. Not that feeling funky is considered failure, but I consider it falling down and having to pick myself back up.

The gratefulness comes from the fact that I can get back up. The reasons for being very depressed are so normal . . . life changing events do that to us, finding a loved one teetering on the edge of life and death is a scary thing.

The strength that I possessed in the midst of my mom's health crisis is something else I am so grateful for. One moment we were talking on the phone making plans to spend the day together and discussing what we were gonna do and the next thing I know. . . she's being whisked away to the ER and quickly rushed to surgery. She had a heart attack and I didn't have time to panic, although I spoke to God the whole time I was rushing to get a bag packed and make myself look presentable. I didn't panic . . . it was a definite test that I passed with flying colors. And I drove through a thunder and lightning rainstorm across town to get there.

Although I've had a week of pondering the rest of my life and accessed everything that happened last week other than the obvious life and death situation and generally came undone . . . I never lost my faith, even though I felt I was in the pit of hell. Knowing that I would come out of it . . . knowing that I had to in order to survive. Faith is a beautiful thing . . . I know even more today after walking through another fire that everything is gonna be just fine . . . maybe better than ever. There is always hope that tomorrow will bring the day that makes me deliriously happy again as long as I am blessed with another day of life.

It was finally time to get out in the fresh air today and I got caught in a rain storm which was just what I needed. The feeling of running around in the rain as a child came rushing back to me and I found myself smiling as I walked to my van. Once again I did not panic . . . usually I do . . . deathly afraid of Florida lightning that kills people routinely in my part of the world, but it was just rain, but I didn't know it. I just headed out because I had to. Confronting my fears is definite progress . . . I didn't run away.

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Tending the Emotions

In the midst of a breakdown,
it is important that we allow it to happen,
rather than fight it or try to shut down.

Most of us have had the experience of holding back our emotions for such a long period of time that when they finally come out, we have something resembling a breakdown. For a certain period of time, the overwhelming flood of feelings coursing through our bodies consumes us, and we stop functioning. Often, these outbursts take us by surprise, welling up within us as we drive to or from work, watch a movie, or engage in some otherwise mundane task. We may feel like we do not know what triggered us, or if we do know, it does not make sense of our overpowering emotional response. This is because we are releasing feelings that have accumulated over a long period of time, and whatever inspired the release was just a catalyst for a much larger, much needed catharsis.

When we find ourselves in the midst of such an experience, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down. Wherever we are, we can try to find a private, safe place in which to let our feelings out. If we can not access such a place immediately, we can promise to set aside some time for ourselves at our earliest possible convenience, perhaps taking a day off work. The important thing is that we need to give our emotional system some much-needed attention. It is essential that we allow ourselves to release the pent-up emotions inside ourselves so that they do not create imbalances in our bodies and minds.

When you are feeling better, make a plan to find a way to process your emotions more regularly. You can do this by employing a therapist or making a regular date to talk to a trusted friend. Journaling can also be a great way to acknowledge and release your emotions, as can certain forms of meditation. Making room in your life for tending your emotions on a regular basis will keep you healthy, balanced, and ready for life.

Source: Daily Om

My emotions are finally getting the attention
they have much needed for a very long time.

Life circumstances sometimes bring on that emotional breakdown that brings you to the point of no return and it happens . . . the volcano erupts.

All I can say is that I am most grateful for being blessed with the most awesome boyfriend ever . . . I don't know what would have happened had it not been for him standing by my side. After years of praying about it, I found that one person who will fiercely defend and support me.

Although it has made me very sad at the circumstances,
good will come out of it and in the end, many people will benefit.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I am standing up for myself and what I believe in. Readers of my blogs know that quality of life and being true to myself is one of the most important things in life for me. Helping others is also of utmost importance.

Please include me in your prayers!

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