Encourage Yourself

Treating yourself with the same gentleness

and respect you afford others can give

you the strength to accomplish what 

you want in life.

Feelings of unworthiness could negatively affect your self-confidence and cause you to judge yourself harshly. 

Giving yourself the same kind of encouragement you would give others can make you feel more confident and give you the strength to keep striving for success. When you treat yourself with respect and encouragement, you will find that all you desire becomes easier to reach.

Source:  Daily Om

The above was part of my horoscope for today.

It has been a rough week and I have beat myself up pretty badly.  My thoughts have been self-defeating and negative.  The taunting of my dad telling me how unworthy I am keeps creeping into my thoughts and won't go away.  I needed this message today!

Encouragement is my word of the day and I am so glad this message popped up for me today.  It is time to respect myself and give myself credit for everything positive and do those things that bring me joy because I deserve it.

Time to lose the negativity!

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Relationship Red Flags

We all have our "frying pan moments" . . . some more than others.  No two people get along so perfectly as to never have them.

In my opinion, a great open and honest discussion over issues we don't agree on is healthy.  After all, how else would you really know how that person you are sharing your life with is feeling about issues important to you?  

When the great discussion turns into a full blown frying pan moment, a lack of communication can make the difference and result in not so pleasant consequences, the silent treatment or a routine happy day.  

That brings me to the purpose of this post, which was inspired by an article in Psychology Today on the topic of relationship red flags.  The following list is from that article with some excerpts.

1. Lack of communication . . . be open and honest!
2. Irresponsible, immature, and unpredictable. Some people have trouble mastering basic life skills and may still be working on growing up. In other words, it may be hard to rely on them for almost anything.
3. Lack of trust. 
4. Significant family and friends don’t like your partner. 
5. Controlling behavior. 
6. Feeling insecure in the relationship. You may often feel that you don’t know where you stand in a relationship.  Follow your gut instinct with this one!  A good relationship should not make you have these feelings.
7. A dark or secretive past.
8. Non-resolution of past relationships. 
9. The relationship is built on the need to feel needed. If this dynamic is the focal point of a relationship, however, there may be little room for real growth, individually or as a couple.
10. Abusive behavior. Verbal, emotional, psychological, and certainly physical—is not just a red flag but a huge banner telling you to get out immediately and never look back.

A red flag is a good intuitive image to help you process what you’re really feeling. At the end of a difficult relationship, people often say, “He (or she) told me who he (or she) was at the very beginning, but I just didn’t listen.”

Learn to trust what you feel. Your hunch is probably right.

Click here to read the complete article.

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Life Changes

We’re always moving into new experiences, new possibilities. This constant change unsettles the personality, which finds security in stability. But with life always in flux, that security is an illusion. We experience pain by trying to hold on to things that are not solid.

Life becomes joyful when we can open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. This requires us to let go of the need to control. We need to learn to trust.

"Can it then be that what we call the ‘self’ is fluid and elastic? It evolves, strikes a different balance with every new breath."

-- Wayne Muller

It doesn't matter where you are in life, changes of all kinds are continuously evolving. There are times when you have to go back to a place a time to really appreciate present life challenges and realize that things aren't as bad as they seem.

The following post written over a year ago found me at my lowest point ever, struggling in every area of my life, standing at the crossroads of life, not knowing where I was going or which path to take . . . all I knew is that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, realizing life would be wonderful again.

It has been a challenging time for me professionally even though I am working at the place that is perfect for me at this time of my life. Nothing is perfect in life all the time . . . no matter what, there will be struggles and challenges to face.

Isn't that the nature of the beast?

The thing to do is know when it is time to recharge the batteries, be grateful for life lessons, look back at other times challenges were faced and know that they were conquered by taking life one step at a time.

Today I am charging my batteries, not feeling well and decided to take the day off to heal. After reading the following post, my batteries have been recharged and I'm ready to face my present day challenges knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to do.

Life is beautiful and I am very grateful for all the gifts that God has blessed me with since my life has drastically changed since the day I wrote the following post.


This post was originally written
12/12/08

Today has found me feeling that unsettled emotion that scares me so badly.

eBay suspended me because of low seller ratings from buyers for two things that they agreed to when they bought items from me . . . high shipping and handling fees and long shipping times . . . both are no secret . . . I'm an honest seller! I clearly disclose those facts. Now my eBay account is locked up until my "seller ratings improve" . . . I can't even edit anything in my store or stop an item from relisting since I have automatic relisting until the item sells on everything.

Through the years eBay has made it increasingly difficult to make money online . . . it was once an awesome way to make money . . . good money. I hate changes and feelings of insecurity.

eBay has been my only means of steady survival . . . something I could fall back on while I am on my job search. All this means is that I'm gonna have to jump at the first job that comes my way instead of finding something that is suited for me. I hate looking for a job while I have a job . . . to me, that is not being loyal. Hopefully I will get some short term work to hold me over until I find what I really want.

Damn eBay . . . I hate them! But . . . haven't I been holding on to something that has not been solid for a while?  I had no idea the economy was gonna go through so many swift changes . . . nobody did!

As the dominoes fall all around the world, I'm not the only one holding on to shaky ground. It seems like the "world society" is bracing for the wildest financial ride of our lives. Very scary . . .

I've done all I can do from my computer as far as the job search goes. Several agencies have contacted me for interviews . . . so . . . I will probably be heading out for my mom's house tomorrow since everything is on her side of town.

Now that I think she understands to stop nagging me because it makes me very depressed to have so much negative energy coming my way, we can have another pleasant visit and I can be on the right side of town where all the awesome jobs are. I don't know what's happened to my part of town lately . . . even the big stores moved out.

I'll spend the balance of the evening packing up my stuff and prepare for another adventure. The ironic part of writing about changes tonight is how I am changing. It seems as though the changes are coming faster, I'm adapting to picking up and leaving the house for days and weeks at a time. There was a time getting in the car to drive to the grocery store was a major problem and someone had to go with me when I did leave.

On some days, finding those little things to be grateful for are difficult to find. It would seem that finding those things today could possibly be impossible, but they are not.

One thing about going through rough times and feeling like you have hit bottom . . . when you pick yourself up and see how far you've come, there is not much in the world that you can be more grateful for . . . other than healthy life itself.

Tonight I am looking back at those times when JR first died . . . I had times of not getting in a vehicle and going anywhere for months . . . years at a time. There was no reason for me to leave . . . JR did all the running around and he was so happy to have me home waiting on him. When he died, I was dysfunctional in so many ways and had to overcome many battles. Tonight I am grateful for those battles.

As I face an ever-increasing financial crisis, I am a stronger person who can almost laugh in the face of fear and struggles . . . I've been at the very bottom and I know I will never be there again. It is just a matter of going through the motions, doing what I've gotta do, keep making those incremental changes in my life.

The first step is finding that job that will make me financially secure, content with my life and find that job satisfaction that totally fulfilled me in the past. OK, so I'll be happy just making enough money to get me by until I find that perfect job for me.

And I do see the light at the end of the tunnel :-)

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Fear and insecurity

	"LET me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them." Rabindranath Tagore "When we love, we are courageous; and courage has nothing to do with being fearless,  it's about being willing to  experience fear, even dread,  to do what we must, without guarantee of outcome." Vanna Bonta

We seek to control our lives when we do not trust, when we do not love. Our ego, perceiving itself to be vulnerable and insecure, uses control in an effort to protect itself. At the root of our need to control, we find FEAR. It may be fear of the unknown. Fear of not coping. Fear of loss. Or possibly even fear of looking stupid. And as our efforts to control other people and events invariably fail, our fear increases. Trust, on the other hand, is a quality of the soul. While control is a tool of the mind, trust and faith are aspects of the heart. Trust comes with the deep knowing that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. When we trust enough in life to give up our need to control, we can relax and open to the flow of energy in our lives. This brings peace of mind. 

Source - www.higherawareness.com

Fear can be paralyzing, making those things we truly desire to do become impossible.  The phobias born from fear can be defeated in the mind, where the desire can be courageous enough to battle those fears.

Anyone can do anything they set their mind to do.

 

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An abundance of enthusiasm

What do you do with your worries, problems, fears . . . and an abundance of enthusiasm?

For the past two nights I have not been able to sleep because of worries, problems and fears crammed into my thoughts that don’t want to shut down, holding on to every little detail of every concern and project that I have going on that I am way too excited about. My poor brain is on overload!

Sleep problems run in cycles for me and I know the major problem is the lack of a routine and way too much enthusiasm . . . have I mentioned that I’ve always been a workaholic?

As time goes on I am learning to let things go that are out of my control, pray about it and release it, like putting it in a little box that sits high up on a shelf in my closet that I can’t see. However, if I have control over the thing . . . I will make myself crazy over it.

The other day I wrote an article on the race of life and how we need to slow down and enjoy life. However, it occurs to me that a person with workaholic tendencies can’t slow down because they are enjoying what they do a little too much . . . at least I do.

Still . . . I’m grateful for way too much enthusiasm . . . the alternative is giving up in a time that I can’t find a real job.

How do you find balance in your life? What works for you?

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