Future Without Fear?

Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live it. 

Source

There is a line in that quote . . . "Life is wonderful if you know how to live it."  It screams life balance to me and learning how to maintain it.  I can remember having life balance at different points in my life.  Maintaining it is so difficult as life changes and throws us off balance.

Never have regrets for anything in your past since those circumstances have brought you to where you are at this moment and even the bad is good because you learned lessons along the way.

As far as fears and doubts, whatever is going to happen will happen.  The present and future are not controlled by fears and doubts unless you are faithless and prevent the process of moving on.  Think positively about life situations, make the best choices possible and have faith in the choices you have made for yourself.

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The fear of "what if"

The fear of "what might happen" is a very strong deterrent for us and has the ability to stop us in our tracks, no matter how much we want something or know that we should move forward. Each of us has heard messages at some point in our childhood that can make us fear what "might happen" and they stay with us and serve as painful reminders of past pain, our shortcomings, our disappointments and our failures. Unless we address and disprove them, these messages stay with us and we unconsciously choose people, situations and even lifestyles that make them true.

(Jennifer Hoffman)

 

 I'll admit that the "what if" mentality plagues me.  I often wonder why, but I have few answers.

The main theory I have come up with, as in the quote, is simply relying on past experience.

In my younger adult days, I did not experience failure, therefore, there was no hesitation when it came to the pursuit of dreams.  

Failure and disappointments came later in life and it could be that is when the fears were born.

How we think and perceive those thoughts can be very powerful.

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Fear of Moving On

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end

of the pool or you go out in the ocean.

Christopher Reeve

If you listen to your fears, you will die
never knowing what a great person
you might have been

Robert H. Schuller

I wrote the following post many years ago.  The Captain was already an awesome friend, but it was before we became serious about getting together.  Actually, I was involved with two other guys I was contemplating moving on with.  The big question was "am I ready?"

The theme of the post is fear and feeling safe.  While I am so thankful I got through the fear of moving on and eventually let The Captain into my life and got married, fears still keep me from moving on with my life in different ways.

When I think that I am hopeless with all these fears I still have, I feel gratitude for the progress I have made since JR passed away.  The post I wrote back in 2009 proves that to me and I don't feel so crazy.

Originally published April 15, 2009


What would you do if you weren't at all afraid?

For someone who has way too many fears, I often ask myself that question. Most of my life I've been fearless in pursuit of what strikes my fancy, however, in past years my fearless nature has been tamed to the extreme.

There seems to be an inordinate need to be "safe" . . . staying in my comfort zone prevents me from living a truly satisfying life as I once experienced with such a zest for life.

Perhaps this is all a result of the grief process . . . the extreme life changes . . . and hopefully my "normal" zest for life will return. Fear of failure has gripped my heart and soul where I once followed every dream after making the plan, I now analyze everything to death before making any significant move . . . fearful of the outcome rather than approaching the situation in my usual carefree but cautious manner.

Moments of attaining my ying/yang life balance are coming back with regularity, but leave me with that "fear of failing mentality" with as much regularity. Time heals all wounds and I see this as one of the most important areas of my life to gain control over.

The fear is like a security blanket that I have found difficult to let go of . . . why? It doesn't really keep me safe and keeps me from moving on with my life. Did I just hit on the answer? Is it a fear of moving on and letting go of life as it was? Still feeling the guilt of moving on?

Fate and destiny brings people into our lives at different times for various reasons. Someone from my past has come back into my life who I have always loved, respected, have an extreme comfort with, passion for and would trust with my life . . . my first love.  

TRUST AND LOVE . . . isn't that what my major relationship problems have been in recent past?

Why am I still not ready?

My thoughts of moving on are becoming more realistic. There is no doubt in my mind why "he" is back in my life . . . to cross that huge bridge in my path with me . . . it scares me.

There are times when people drift out of my life and at the time I wonder why, yet always find the answer with the passage of time. The reasons are always for my benefit whether I consciously agree or not. One door closes and another opens . . . the biggest obstacle is walking through that door. Perhaps there is a reason why . . .

Is there anything you would change about your life?

Has fear kept you from doing something you want to do?

Back to present time . . . the reason was The Captain was my destiny!

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Moving through the darkness

"We can take our inspiration from any fairy tale that finds its central character lost in a dark wood, frightened and alone. We know that the journey through the wood provides its own kind of beauty and richness. On the other side, we will emerge transformed, lighter and brighter, braver and more confident for having moved through that darkness.

This is just life’s way of taking us to a place we need to go for reasons that go deeper than our own ability to reason. These hard knocks and trials are designed to shed light on our unconscious workings and deepen our experience of reality."

Source:  Daily Om 

We are apparently living in lala land and these "hard knocks" are designed to deepen our experience of reality?  That was my thought after reading today's quotes from the Daily Om.

Actually, it all feels like the movie "Groundhog Day."  Seriously.

The theme of our year has been "readdressing old issues over and over again" . . . and it seems as if we are moving through the darkness, going in circles which lead to nowhere.

Very frustrating!

In the past week, we have had to deal with health problems, car problems, home repair problems persist and nothing has changed.  Oh please, I will spare you the details of these things that don't want to go away!

I'm having faith that all of these irritating life situations are building my character into a stronger, better person and I'll ultimately become fearless and worry-free . . . a contradiction of my own life.  It could be the lesson that the good Lord is blessing me with.  

We all run into all types of contradictions through the course of life's lessons.

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Dare to be powerful

When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.

Audre Lorde

This quote says so much to me, who is a naturally fearful person and an intense worrier.

For one thing . . . what difference does it make how fearful we are or how worried we are about a particular situation?  It won't change the outcome, it just robs us of joy and happiness.  

What will be will be anyway!

I'm finally learning that strength is within us and never leaves us.  We just need to dare to reach in and grab it . . . use it!

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Fear

Today I am fearful and I'm not sure of what . . . just fearful.

My emotional balance is off and harmony is not flowing in the least bit.

The holidays take my emotions as hostage and I let it take me time and time again.  I'm back on the merry-go-round that I don't know how to get off of.

I'm living proof of "The only thing to fear is fear itself" . . . thank you Franklin D. Roosevelt!

Many other quotes say it all about being scared, fearful and afraid much better than I . . . my thoughts are cloudy, but I needed to write . . .

So often, when you start hearing about deliberate creation or when you've been reared in a world of dos and don'ts, you're guarded and tentative, you're afraid you're going to make a mistake, you're afraid you're going to cross a line that you can't step back from, and we say, that cannot happen. Boldly flow, and you can tell by the way you feel whether you're flowing in harmony or not, you see. (Abraham through Esther Hicks) - abraham-hicks.com

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” (Helen Keller)

When we have the courage to speak our minds and use our voice to send the desires of our hearts from our inner world to the world outside, we take a bold step in making them happen. (Author Unknown)

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. (Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1882-1945)

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. (Robert F. Kennedy)

Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation. (Author Unknown)

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there. (Marcus Antoninus)

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. (Gandhi)

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. (Dale Carnegie)

It is not death that man should fear, but he should never fear beginning to live. (Marcus Aurelius)

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Sometimes we get scared

No matter how brave, strong,  or levelheaded we are,  sometimes we all get scared.

"Life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Even for those of us who enjoy unexpected thrills, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge. Yet, it happens to all of us. At these moments, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes, we all get scared.

Our fears may revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet. We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is sick, or we may be scared of never finding someone special to spend our life with. We may be scared to start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people. Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid.

It may be comforting to know that everyone gets scared, and it is perfectly OK. Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better. And while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times. Giving ourselves permission to be scared lets us move through our fears so we can let it go. It also makes it alright to share our fears with others. Sharing our apprehensions with other people can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions. Sharing our fears also can lighten our burden because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves. Remember that you are not alone."

Source:  Daily Om 

Sometimes someone else's

 words say it all for me . . .

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Dreams and moral support

"I am grateful to have the choice over the direction of my life.

I choose to surround myself with only those who believe in me and my dreams."

Source: The Daily Love

It is awesome to have dreams and ambitions.  Not so awesome when you are surrounded by those who try to tear your dreams down for whatever reason.

We must follow our dreams . . . within reason . . . otherwise the question "what if" will be a haunting echo in the night.

Ultimately, the choice is ours.  My worst disasters have come after "the dream" was laughed at and I had to proceed just to prove that I could do it.  My choices were possibly made for the wrong reasons, but the failure was mine.

Understanding that there are people in this world who are fearful of taking a chance, don't believe in innovation or flat out don't believe in your dream should be considered when making the decision to follow your dream.

The concept of a light bulb must have been hilarious back in the day, but Thomas Edison believed in his dream . . . or maybe he surrounded himself with those who gave him lots of moral support to go for it.

Better to surround yourself with people who believe in you, no matter what!

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