Today's failures, tomorrow's success

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles."

(Helen Keller)

It is so easy for us to get caught up in obstacles that get in the way.  At least it is for me.  Forward motion turns into procrastination.  

One of the most difficult things for me is turning it back around, which sometimes turns into variations of depression.

The secret to overcoming obstacles . . . learn perseverance.  That is what I take from the awesome quote.

The thought process must be "just do it!"

Easier said than done . . .

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Waiting for Someday

If today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate.

The time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly. How we utilize that time is consequently one of the most important decisions we make. Yet it is far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today. The hectic pace of modern existence affords us an easy out; we shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present, ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished other lesser goals. In truth, it is our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now—because we view failure as a possibility, our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational. If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us.

When regarded as a question, "Why not now?" drains us of our power to realize our ambitions. We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin courting it. Yet when we look decisively at our existence and state, "Why not now, indeed!" we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment. We procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present. Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve it more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal presently.

All the joy, passion, and contentment you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in some far-flung point in time. You need only remind yourself that there is nothing standing between you and fulfillment. If you decide that today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate. 

Source:  Daily Om

Procrastination is a subject I've written about often since it is what I consider one of my really bad traits.

After more time than I care to mention, I have finally reached "someday" and I can't explain how wonderful the feeling of accomplishment has been.

The best way I can describe how I approached the problem is to say that when I started thinking realistically about what I have been putting off until "someday" it made me feel so weak in character.  I hate weakness and had never seen my procrastination in this light.

As a result, I started approaching it in small bites, knowing when to stop before burning out.  The best thing for me is to know when to stop, take a break and check out the progress while relaxing, and allowing myself to feel the satisfaction of accomplishment.  My changed perspective has made a huge difference!

Is has been a month and I am still making incremental improvements every day.  Some days I work on it more than others.

I'm happy to say that I have not felt this "normal" in a very long time!

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Unresolved issues

Finding a healthy outlet for unsettling emotions allows us to resolve them in productive ways and regain a rested state of mind. We might not realize how deeply our feelings are affecting our lives until we begin to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Instead of trying to ignore our feelings or push them away, we can channel them into productive activities and make an effort to work through our emotions in healthy ways. Doing this empowers us, even if we can’t always resolve the situations that caused us to feel upset. By working through our emotions, we are better able to handle any situation and regain a serene state of mind. By devoting time to honoring and calming your emotions today, you can work through any unresolved issues and feel peaceful again. 

 Source:  Daily OM

Today is a beautiful, gentle rainy day and I have spent a lot of time outdoors in our carport jungle enjoying nature and letting my mind wander where it wants to go.  It is in these times of quiet relaxation that I realize how wound up I really am. Too many little things that keep hanging on end up being one huge mess.

I must admit that when overwhelm and frustration start to affect me, rather than channeling them into productive activities, I make the attempt to sweep them under the rug.

Although I know ignoring the situation will not alleviate the frustration, it is a practice that I continue to do over and over again.

Sometimes working through the emotions causes more frustration when the emotions causes warped focus and concentration.  For me, it is best to leave it alone until I am ready to handle it, one step at a time, AFTER calming myself down by doing things that bring me pleasure, like listening to music or watching something mindless on the television.  Sometimes simply enjoying nature can calm me down.  It all depends on the situation.

Of course, if the overwhelm stems from not taking care of projects because they seem too overwhelming, that is when taking very small, but productive activities toward the goal helps to work through the frustration.

I know I need to let it all go and just give it all the pressures to God . . . faith and trust is so difficult for me.

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Why Not Now?

We can procrastinate for an endless list of excuses, but why not empower ourselves to change our lives for the better now.  It doesn't matter what it is! I've written about procrastination before . . . it is like a ball and chain to hold you back from doing anything and putting it off until "tomorrow" . . .

The Captain and I spoke of goals yesterday and how they are small steps, one at a time toward the goal that in itself can be overwhelming.

"If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us."

So . . . why not now?

The perceived notion of there being plenty of time for "whatever" can be deceiving since we are not promised tomorrow.

We decided that by simply moving stuff around in one room will add so much dimension to the activities we have been limited to.  Bringing functionality back to my craft desk that overlooks the garden will allow me to get back into designing jewelry that my hands have been itching to do and give myself a place of serenity where my creativity can go where it wants to go.  

That in itself is mentally healthy. Suppressing creativity and merely writing about it has not worked for me.  I want to write about projects that I am working on, not necessarily what someone else is working on, although I have been using it as motivation and inspiration to get it going again.

So . . . having said all that, I will attempt to demagnify my rear end away from the chair that sits in front of the computer . . . right now!


Quotes from Daily Om . . . this post inspired by an article entitled "Waiting for Someday" 

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Your true calling

Life ends not when you die, but when you stop believing in your true calling. Your true calling isn't something your friends, parents or lovers want you to become. Your true calling isn't living vicariously through someone else. And most certainly your true calling isn't working just to "make a living" and "get by".

Your true calling is that soft voice within you urging to be creative. Your true calling is your vision of a better life. Your true calling is your Creator whispering to you who you really are.

One day we will all breathe our last breath. The only difference between those of us who will live a fulfilled life in the flow of their true calling and those of us who don't is this: know that you are already dead, die to your fear and give up everything except what whispers to you in the quiet hours.

Follow your vision, do what makes you happy - it is your birthright to live in joy. But it is 100% your choice whether you do or not.

Say no to your fear. Live your true calling. Set sail and don't look back.

Source:  The Daily Love

That soft voice is telling me to get my craft and sewing room cleaned out and organized so I can get on with the next phase of my life!!

The incremental changes I have made since I became a widow so long ago has brought me to where I am today . . . happily remarried and retired with too much time on my hands.  

So much progress!!  Most people would be thrilled to trade places with my life circumstances.

Finding your true calling is what I routinely refer to as following your bliss or finding your authentic self.  

After a lifetime of a fulfilling career and numerous self-employment business ventures, I finally have that chance to sit back and figure out what following my bliss is all about.  

I've pretty much worked all my life to be at this place in life and I honestly don't know what to do with the time, although I am overwhelmed with so much to do.  

Confused?  It really is pretty simple!

What needs to be done will bring me to what I have perceived my true calling is . . . being creative and making money with my imagination.

One little thing gets in the way . . . overwhelm!  Too much time on my hands gives the illusion of having forever to get it done and put it off until "tomorrow" . . . procrastination, another culprit . . . they are partners in crime!

It would be so easy to just get started and do a little bit every day.  But overwhelm and procrastination has taken care of that by stacking boxes in front of the closed door to the room that needs the help.  

Where do the boxes go?  O.M.G., I'll have to clear out another area to make room for them . . . blah, blah, blah and so on and so on!

I need a professional organizer on an extremely frugal budget!!

What amazes me is how an article can attract my attention and inspire me to write about a particular subject, but once I start writing, where it goes is comical!  I've gone from true calling to overwhelm and procrastination!  

This is the way my mind works . . . sometimes a bit too fast, then I get distracted!  I make it so easy for myself to procrastinate . . .

Is it any wonder I have too much time on my hands?

Figuring out the goal . . . my true calling . . . has been the task we have worked on recently.  That was difficult enough since the goal involved both The Captain and I.  Now that is done, we are currently working toward getting there, running into my old buddy procrastination and overwhelm which is like a virtual brick wall.

Which all brings me to a recurring theme of my life and this blog . . . JUST DO IT!  
LOL . . . OK . . . I'll start tomorrow!

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Just Do It

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

"If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it."

Olin Miller

 

"Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible."

George Claude Lorimer

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task"

William James

Taking the first step was very difficult!

We got the hardest thing done first . . . moving the large pieces of furniture in the living room.

I've written about my problem with procrastination many times.  It is like a curse that plagues me.  Actually, it is pure and simple overwhelm.  We just sat down and talked about the big picture of what we want to accomplish . . . then broke it down into the task that we would make the biggest leap into getting it going.

The plan was made to start the next day . . . just the one task . . . and how to tackle it with the promise to each other that we would JUST DO IT and not put it off any longer.

Even though it was a small step to the big picture, the good news is that it has started the forward motion of consistently working on it every day.  Accomplishment feels good and calls for more as improvement is made.  Fall cleaning and rearranging the house continues!

Getting things done is a great feeling!

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Intentions without energy

"Activity is not achievement. 

It is not enough to rush about beginning a lot of things and keeping busy. 

A well-spent life is one that rounds out what it has begun."

-- Eknath Easwaran

"Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them."

-- Joseph Joubert

"Good to begin well, better to end well."

-- English proverb

Energy is set in motion when we say we are going to do something.  Intention is meaningless when we fail to act.  Better to choose our words wisely . . . say what we mean and mean what we say.

My recurring theme has been overwhelm and procrastination for way too long.  Although my intentions are good, I don't always do what I say I'm going to do . . . for whatever reason.

This is in my thoughts again since I have been fighting a flu or maybe it is just plain nerves getting ready for our wedding.  Whatever it is has had me ill . . . 

During my down times I feel guilty about all those things I didn't do when I was feeling better.  It is a vicious cycle that I really need to control more effectively.  Although I have consciously done better than in the past, it still isn't good enough.  Maybe I should just be more patient with myself and acknowledge the process, quit beating myself up over it and keep trying to get it right.  

Sometimes it is better to go with the flow, prioritize what needs to be done and don't set unrealistic goals expectations . . . and don't verbalize it, just do it.  

Anything else is a setup for failure when it comes to a mind that tends to accentuate the negative and the struggle with depression.

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Simple Contentment

Since taking my mental health days a week or so ago and making the decision to stop procrastinating and get those things done that need to be done, I've been making small changes that are starting to make a difference.

One of the things I've done really good with is doing small tasks at a time and then doing something that I really enjoy . . . constantly alternating.  The result is I'm getting things done and also taking it easy in small increments so I feel the same affects of mental health days in small doses.  It works for me . . . the secret is SMALL INCREMENTS . . . maybe 15 minutes at a time.  Next on the agenda is to buy a kitchen timer so I don't get carried away.

It is still difficult for me to see what I've accomplished versus what hasn't been done, but I am making a conscious effort.  The positive mindset is difficult for me in this area!

The mindset that has really worked for me is that of being grateful for simple things which has provided me with a very content life.  It has to do with finding simple joy in sitting outdoors listening to the wonderful sounds of nature and having Willie the Wonder Cat pass by, brushing against my leg as he goes by, wanting attention and love.  Nothing spectacular, I know, but these are the little things and moments in time that put a smile on my face.  Finding pleasure and awareness of the simple moments in time has been one of the most important revelations of my life.

The need to slow down mindset has also worked for me.  There are times when I try to do more projects than I can possibly do at one time.  I set myself up for failure!  Setting priorities is a much better way to handle those times.  I can be aware of those projects, but also know their priority in the scheme of everything else.  This mindset has also brought me to the point of reality . . . the result was to weed out those low priority things that wasted too much of my time.

Another mindset that changed my life a long time ago is simply embracing where I am in life.  What I mean by that is this . . . I don't care about what anyone else has that I don't have . . . I am happy with what I have been blessed with.  There is such a stigma in today's society to want what someone else has . . . the bigger house, the newer car, blah blah blah.  That mindset is such a waste of emotions!

In my life I have had times of depression, happiness, contentment, successful career, failures, near poverty and an abundance of money and stuff . . . so many life experiences.  All in all, my happiest times have been when I am content with who I am and what I have in life.  Ironically, they came during poor financial times.  

After spending way too much time chasing and achieving wealth and success, I realized those things are superficial and don't bring happiness.  I'd rather be poor with enough to contently survive and achieving happiness . . . with peace of mind and an awesome quality of life.

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The miracle of change . . . and boredom

The feeling of boredom is often misunderstood and

 can actually mean we need to look under

 the layers for change.

Sometimes we feel that things aren't moving along fast enough for us and that the world is passing us by. It may be that time seems to stand still and that we are simply bystanders in our own lives. Other times it might appear that there is nothing new left for us to experience and that we are locked into a never-ending cycle of stasis. If we take the time to listen to these feelings we will notice that there is probably more going on beneath the surface, like our apprehension to venture out into the unknown. By taking a new look at how we live our lives, however, it will be easier to break through our sense of boredom and enter into a more positive state of being.

When life seems monotonous, it is usually an indication that there is something we need to change. Boredom can easily lead us down the path to despondency. Acknowledging our feelings and then setting the intention to alter just one small thing in our life can give us a much more affirmative outlook. This act of change allows us to step outside of ourselves and discover new and exciting things that are often already present in our everyday lives. 

Simple things such as eating a healthier diet, taking a new class, or joining a club are all ways in which we can go beyond our comfort zone and explore the wonders that exist all around us. Keep in mind that the moment we do something different from our usual routine, the more fresh energy, hope, and blessings we will manifest in our life. What this means is that we'll no longer see things as being tedious but will instead realize the preciousness of everything.

Being able to integrate these subtle changes on a daily basis allows us to recognize the miracles that are our lives. Even though we may think of change as doing something life-altering or drastic, gentle transitions from our habitual ways of doing things and an appreciation of all life offers us will truly bring about positive and lasting transformation.

Source: Daily Om

Being overwhelmed with way too many projects at one time tends to turn into boredom for me, especially if the projects are those I don't particularly enjoy doing, like housework.  I'm guilty of putting things off . . . procrastinating . . . then they build up, hitting me with the feeling of extreme boredom and overwhelm.  It may sound strange that too much to do bores me as much as not enough to do, but it does.

Then there is straight up boredom for whatever reason . . . sometimes I don't even know why I'm bored.

What I need to do is contemplate making some incremental changes described in the article from Daily Om . . . hopefully the article will give you some inspiration to make subtle changes in your life too.

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Does procrastination hinder your life?

Life is Always Movement
By Sarah Ban Breathnach

Life doesn't ever calm down long enough for us to wait until tomorrow to start living the lives we deserve.

Life is always movement, always change, always unforeseen circumstances. There will always be something to grab your attention.

Let's just acknowledge that as far as real life is concerned, we are only one step away from dealing with dysfunction....Procrastination has robbed us of too many opportunities.

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.

Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.

About the Author: Sarah Ban Breathnach's work celebrates quiet joys, simple pleasures and everyday epiphanies. She is author of the New York Times bestsellers, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy and Something More.

Visit her website at:www.simpleabundance.com

 "Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner

 is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up."

Joseph Ferrari, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology at De Paul University in Chicago 

Does procrastination hinder your life?  

It does mine . . . I am a classic procrastinator.  I've come to the conclusion that the root of my problem is simple rebellion that developed in my pre-teen years.  While I understand it, have come to terms with it, I still have not learned how to effectively deal with it.

Along with rebellion are unattainable perfection expectations for myself . . . having unreachable standards discourages me from even starting a task.  The task is put off until the "perfect plan" is in place.

With a little research, I came up with a overcoming procrastination scenario for myself that I hope will help . . . maybe it will help you too.

Just jump in and do it . . . 

Stop spending time planning and

 do the task you dread the most first 

Give yourself a short time limit and

 alternate the task with something you enjoy

Realize that perfection can never

 be attained . . . do your best

Focus on progress

Reward yourself along the

 way of progress

Turn on energetic music to keep

 you moving and motivated

Don't push yourself too far . . . 

realize this leads to boredom or

 frustration resulting in no progress

Are you also a procrastinator?

If you are . . .

How do you motivate yourself?

If you aren't . . .

What is your secret?

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Make It Happen

"Some people want it to happen, 

some wish it would happen, 

others make it happen."

Michael Jordan

We all want to live our dream . . . 

but we can’t wish to achieve goals and 

get it done just because we want to. 

It is being passionate about our goals, enabling our minds to motivation and action . . . which means breaking old habits that keep the forward motion of getting things done . . . and never give up trying . . . passion breeds persistence.

One thing is certain . . . the goal must have clarity in order to plan the journey to your dream.  Just like a physical journey, knowing how to get there by using a map is often necessary.  More chances than not, you will get lost without that map . . . lost and wandering in the wilderness of the mind.

When the journey’s path is known, plan the journey, replacing those bad habits that keep you going and making the new way the standard way of operating. 

Procrastination is usually the most difficult bad habit to break . . . it is easy “know” that you will “do it tomorrow.”  This behavior of putting off tasks to a later time is merely a coping mechanism for the anxiety associated with whatever the endeavor is.

The really bad thing about procrastination is that putting something off until a later time makes it easy to continue the bad habit of putting it off.  It is a vicious cycle that must be broken, otherwise, your dream will just be a dream . . . put up in a little box in the corner of your mind.

One of the definitions of passion is being affected by something external and acted upon . . . break the habit of letting procrastination influence the passion of the dream, making incremental changes along the way. 

The journey to your dreams

 starts with one step 

of
forward motion that
leads to the next.

Love this quote ~

"You are never given a wish without being

given the power to make it true.

 You may have to work for it, however."

Richard Bach

Make it happen!

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From thinking to doing

Human behavior expert Theodore Bryant, author of the book “Self-Discipline in 10 Days: How to Go from Thinking to Doing”, has conducted self-discipline courses, workshops, and seminars for over a decade. He explains that everyone is made up of different selves. Often, your different sides want to go in different directions, which causes inner conflict. While part of you wants to clean the kitchen and balance the check book, another part of you wants to grab a bag of chips and a diet coke and veg out in front of the TV.

Bryant calls the side of you that tries to sabotage your efforts to be self-disciplined, Hyde. And, yes, the part of you that wants to be self-disciplined is Dr. Jekyll. The author cautions not to think of Hyde as an enemy, but, instead, he advises that you regard Hyde as a part of you which you’ll want to recruit to help you in your efforts to achieve your goals, resolutions, and objectives.

Here are some of the strategies you can use to overcome the resistance which Hyde will put up whenever you try to take action toward achieving your goals:


Excuses and Action Oriented Self-Talk

Whenever you hear yourself coming up with an excuse as to why you can’t take the steps necessary in order to accomplish a goal you’ve set for yourself, remind yourself that it’s just a tactic being used by Hyde to avoid doing the work. In order to counteract Hyde’s negativism, use action oriented self-talk.

Action oriented self-talk is positive, specific, and present tense. Suppose you tell yourself that you’re going to spend the next two hours organizing your closet. However, you get distracted by other things and, two hours later, you haven’t accomplished anything productive. What happened? Hyde started working on your subconscious to get you to do anything but clean your closet. What you need to do is replace Hyde’s self-defeating subconscious messages with positive, specific, present tense messages.

Once you make the decision to organize your closet, begin saying the following out loud: “I am now organizing my closet.” When you do this, the subconscious mind will turn all of its attention to organizing the closet, regardless of what you may actually be doing at the time. Your subconscious mind will begin sending messages to your motor functions, emotions, and other members of your physical and psychological network that will be in line with organizing your closet. In addition, it will begin to look for ways to organize your closet.

Here’s an example used by Bryant: You’re sitting in your favorite chair reading a magazine. Part of you begins to think that your time could be used more productively by working on that eBook you’ve been meaning to write. However, Hyde begins to say: “I’m reading a magazine.” Therefore, your subconscious turns all of its resources toward reading the magazine. At this point, Dr. Jekyll needs to say: “I’m working on my eBook.” Now, your subconscious will begin to point its resources toward working on your eBook:

* You’ll begin to feel agitated as you sit there leafing through the magazine.
* You’ll start getting ideas for things to include in your eBook.
* You’ll feel like getting up, sitting at your desk, turning on your computer, and getting to work on your eBook.
* As long as you keep repeating your positive, specific, present tense message, you’ll feel compelled to work on your eBook. Repetition is the key to success.
* If you say it out loud, it will be even more powerful than simply repeating it silently.


Hyde might try to convince you that you will take action to achieve your goals; you’ll just do it later. After all, if you want to start exercising you’ll need a new jogging outfit. You can’t possibly be seen in any of the old work out pants and ratty t-shirts you have in your closet. And in order to buy new exercise clothes, you first have to pay off your credit card balance in full. After all, getting out of debt is another one of your goals. So, you see, exercising is not something you can do at the moment. But you’ll do it later. (Hyde is quite devious.)

The tactic to use here is to question whether there’s a legitimate reason to delay getting started, or if it sounds suspiciously like one of Hyde’s clever excuses. Remember, Hyde is like a little kid who will come up with all sorts of ruses to avoid his parents’ orders to clean his room. It’s perfectly fine for you to exercise in the clothes you already have; the perceived obstacle of needing a new jogging suit is just Hyde trying to trick you into spending an hour surfing the Internet instead of exercising.


Fear of Failure

Bryant points out that study after study has shown that the greatest obstacle to personal success is fear of failure. The pain of past failures lingers in the shadows of your subconscious, reminding you of how awful you felt the last time you failed. Why would you want to set yourself up to feeling like that again by pursuing a new goal? Just sit back and enjoy your TV show. Go ahead, put your feet up on the coffee table. You could even grab that pint of Rocky Road ice cream you have in the freezer. That feels nice and safe, doesn’t it?

We’ve been trained by society that failing is shameful. Is it any mystery, then, that we’re so reluctant to attempt anything at which we can’t be sure of succeeding? When part of us wants to do something, and part of us is dragging its feet because it’s terrified of failing, it’s like trying to drive a car with the handbrake on. In order to succeed at achieving your goals, you have to fully invest yourself in the task at hand.

The trick here is to separate your performance on a given task from how you feel about yourself. You probably have a tendency to say to yourself: “If I fail at this, I’m a failure.” You need to begin regarding failure as evidence of experimentation and attempts at self-growth, instead of seeing it as a blow to your self-esteem. Refuse to link failure to how you feel about yourself. As Bryant points out, failure is not a tombstone, but a stepping stone to success.


Conclusion

You’ve known for a while that you have a Hyde lurking around in your subconscious, haven’t you? After all, how many times have you made goals and resolutions with the best of intentions to follow through, only to find that you never get started, or that you leave things half-finished? Bryant offers many more clues in “Self-Discipline in 10 Days” on how to recognize Hyde’s attempts at sabotaging your efforts, and what to do about it.

What types of things have you caught Hyde doing to try and prevent you from getting things done, or to stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to accomplish your dreams?


This article is a reprint from one of my favorite blogs . . .

http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com/

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