Don't Give Up

 

Today has been one of the worse days in a while for many reasons that I don't need to get into for the purpose of this post.

I was blessed with a healthy dose of self-confidence and one thing I know for sure, I am a strong person and I know I'm going to get through this.  My motto . . . this too shall pass.

Glad to be alive?  Not necessarily.  My future is up in the air, I've retired, don't have a definitive purpose and I feel somewhat lost.  I often ask myself  . . . what am I living for?   But I know I am still healing from The Captain's death and my purpose will be revealed at the right time.  

Thank God I'm not lonely, enjoy being alone and don't have aspirations of finding love again (or do I?) . . . I really don't want to deal with disappointment any more than I have to, but I will never say never from this moment on.  The main moving on is improving my life and being happy with my choices.

The good news is my depression is under control and I know I am on the correct path for me.

As a Christian, I have always prayed for God's will.  When I found this graphic on Facebook, I saw it as an answer to recent prayers and part of the answer is to not give up.  

I won't . . . and I am taking one day at a time.

read more

Promise to believe in yourself

 

"If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done."

Vince Lombardi

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.

Norman Vincent Peale

If you have self-confidence and believe in yourself, the sky is the limit. You can achieve what you want to achieve.

Having courage is important since we can not get bogged down in the what ifs and fear of failure. That mentality is self defeating and in itself can lead to failure just because of the attitude.

Why is determination important? It will prevent you from giving up before you achieve your goal.

If you believe what you are trying to achieve is worth failure, you must promise yourself to go for it and make a sacrifice.

read more

Encourage Yourself

Treating yourself with the same gentleness

and respect you afford others can give

you the strength to accomplish what 

you want in life.

Feelings of unworthiness could negatively affect your self-confidence and cause you to judge yourself harshly. 

Giving yourself the same kind of encouragement you would give others can make you feel more confident and give you the strength to keep striving for success. When you treat yourself with respect and encouragement, you will find that all you desire becomes easier to reach.

Source:  Daily Om

The above was part of my horoscope for today.

It has been a rough week and I have beat myself up pretty badly.  My thoughts have been self-defeating and negative.  The taunting of my dad telling me how unworthy I am keeps creeping into my thoughts and won't go away.  I needed this message today!

Encouragement is my word of the day and I am so glad this message popped up for me today.  It is time to respect myself and give myself credit for everything positive and do those things that bring me joy because I deserve it.

Time to lose the negativity!

read more

Deep Well of Confidence

Today's horoscope says that I could experience a sense of satisfaction by being acknowledged and appreciated by others today.

My question is this . . . can't the same sense of satisfaction be achieved by having a well of confidence in yourself and knowing when a job is well done?

The following is a quote from DailyOM . . .

"When we learn to praise ourselves and build our self-worth, we discover a deep well of confidence and inner strength that we can consistently rely on.

Though it is natural to desire validation and praise from others, acknowledgment from others can be an uncertain prospect at best.

We can be a much more reliable and constant source of self-acknowledgement and recognition. When others do praise or admire us, their acknowledgment becomes a nice bonus that we can freely enjoy but not be dependent upon.

By choosing to take responsibility for your own self-worth today, you can also enjoy praise from others while knowing that their recognition is simply the icing on the cake."

Icing on the cake is a good thing, however, it is not always available . . . don't depend on others for an awesome sense of satisfaction.  Set attainable goals, always do your best and give yourself kudos when they are deserved!

read more

Positive Self-Affirmation

"When we develop a confident mind-set and release our worries about what others think of us, we build our self-esteem and bring more balance to our relationships. 

Most often our fears about what others think of us are simply projections of how we view ourselves. When we begin to change our own beliefs to more positive, empowering ones, our fears melt away. We become stronger, happier people and begin to see ourselves in a more positive light. This causes others to do the same. 

Our relationships become better because we are connecting from a more authentic, loving place. By devoting attention to enhancing your attitude and confidence level today, you can improve the quality of your interactions with others."

Source:  Daily Om 

I could not have said it better!  

read more

The Encouragement of Love

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott

There are times that a strong faith in God or the guidance and encouragement from those we love and look up to make all the difference in the world. Some are lucky enough to have both.

God's love and guidance is available to everyone.  Hopefully we all have those who love and encourage us when we need it.

Do you sometimes have the vision but lack the motivation to reach your highest aspirations?  Do you reach out to those you love in these times?  Do you trust enough to follow where they may lead you?

It all starts with the first rung of the ladder and progresses toward the top at its own pace.  There are times when trying to reach the top in the first step will lead you nowhere . . . it is impossible, or so it seems.  Isn't it the purpose of a ladder, to take one step at a time?

It is faith and trust that leads us to that first step.

The following is an excerpt from a Daily Om article that speaks of trusting in those we love to help us make that first step, or the second, or third.

"The love of important people in our lives can serve as a secure foundation for our outer-world endeavors because knowing that we are cared for grants us a higher degree of self-confidence than we might otherwise have known. 

We can courageously take risks and embark upon endeavors that take us outside of our comfort zones because we know that we can retreat into the affectionate embrace of the important people in our lives if anything should go wrong. Likewise, simply knowing that these individuals believe that we are capable of achieving great feats of emotional and intellectual fortitude provides us with much of the strength we need to prevail over adversity.

You will feel the weighty comfort of the tenderness of those who love you today, and the security this comfort affords you will help you grow as an individual."

Source: Daily Om

read more

Finding the key

"So often time it happens,

 we all live our life in chains,

 and we never even know

 we have the key."

The Eagles, lyrics from the song

"Already Gone"

The possibilities are endless when the realization hits that we hold the key to that ball and chain many of us attach ourselves to.  

Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is an example of what could be seen as a ball and chain.  Some people confuse the ball and chain as depression . . . it is a fine line.

Life circumstances can get someone to that point and play tricks on the mind.  The thought process turns negative and everything looks impossible.  

However, nothing is impossible when we know we have that key.

In the darkest days of my life, learning how to be grateful for the simplest of things helped me realize so much and put everything into perspective.  Gratefulness was my key.

Do you know what yours is?

read more

Honor the awesomeness

"I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat."

-- Joan Mills

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."

-- Norman Vincent Peale

"We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves."

-- Orison Swett Marden

Imagine that you are awesome just as you are . . . believe it . . . you are!  Free yourself from those chains that bind you . . . enjoy the freedom to become an even more awesome person.

Many of us have been or are guilty of beating ourselves up for not being good enough, not doing enough . . . blah blah blah.  Rather than focusing on what you are not doing right, switch the emphasis to all that you do that is a blessing to others . . . what you are doing right.

Norman Vincent Peale said it best in one of the featured quotes . . . believing in yourself is the first secret of success.  Have enough faith in yourself to know that you can do anything that you want to do!

read more

Authenticity

When I cruise the internet, I get lost and spend hours looking for new and interesting websites and blogs.  On occasion, I run into one that I consider outstanding . . . BlogHer is one of them.  You can reach the website by going to the sidebar of my blog . . . I have included the "Own Your Beauty" link.  Every month they target a different topic . . . this month is "Authenticity."  Check them out!


The following article comes directly from their website . . . No, I'm not "stealing" their content . . . I don't want to lose the content by just placing a link here and losing the content when they change their website pages.  (It has happened way too often, making my blog posts useless . . . just wanted to explain why I do it!)


In the years that I have adopted the lifestyle of "Simple Abundance," other than being grateful for simple little things every day, being authentic is up there on the list of importance as far as quality of life.

The awesome ladies at BlogHer
 have given us 12 tips to authenticity:

1.   Where is the list of fine performing arts that includes “art of listening,” I ask you?

2.   I’m suspicious of anyone who tells me they are an expert. Students teach me more.

3.   Confidence is the heartbeat of beauty. The trick? To get there we have to fail and change. The courage to  fail is irresistible to me.

4.   Are you hurting? Tell people. You will feel so GORGEOUS when you stop isolating yourself and open your heart.

5.   Take three hours a week for self-exploration: Make a regular date with yourself relax and things that will let your mind wander. Don’t expect major breakthroughs each time; it’s total time spent that helps you subconsciously approach the world differently.

6.   Don't compare: There’s a big difference between being inspired by others and emulating them. Your accomplishments may be similar to others’, but your path is unique and equally valid. Your job is not to be better than anyone, but to best meet your own purpose.

7.   Try not talking: Just observe others for a day. You’ll be amazed at how much connection you’ve missed, and how much more comfortable people are around someone who can let conversations unfold.

8.   What are you always telling yourself you'll do “someday?" Consider doing it now. Note I didn’t say do it, but consider doing it. Asking yourself to consider it takes the pressure off acting right away -- but the seeds are subconsciously planted.

9.   Don't be afraid to ask questions. Nothing exudes more confidence than freely admitting you don't know everything. People figure you must be really smart if you're willing to admit when you're dumb.

10. Everything you choose to share should be the truth. But you don't have to share everything. You can be authentic and still have boundaries. In fact you probably should!

11. You have the opportunity to live your values with every dollar you spend. Vote via the ballot box and your wallet.

12. The corollary to living your values is: Do the best that you can, until you can do better. None of us is perfect. But we should never do nothing because we can't do everything. I was a vegetarian for seventeen years before I finally successfully went vegan.

read more

Be yourself

"Always be yourself, express yourself, have
faith in yourself, do not go out and look for
a successful personality and duplicate it."

Bruce Lee



What a beautiful quote!

How many of us follow the trends and look just like any other person in the way we dress and express ourselves?  

The key word in the sentence is "follow" . . . are you a leader or a follower?

Why not set your own trend instead of duplicating another one?

Be yourself, be unique and different!

read more

Self-acceptance and perfection

“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are.” 

Don Miguel Ruiz

 

“The maxim ‘Nothing but perfection’ may be spelled ‘Paralysis.’”

Winston Churchill

“After enough mirror gazing, we all develop our ‘cosmic sense of humor.’ We no longer try to be perfect, or try to get all our work done in time. We become content with whatever life brings. Just to deal with what comes up without crucifying ourselves or others is enough of a challenge.”

Paul Ferrini

Attaining self-acceptance has brought me to the place in life where I no longer beat myself up because I am not perfect. It has taken me a lifetime to realize that no matter how hard anyone tries, they will never be perfect. Having said that, it doesn't mean giving up on striving for perfection . . . it is about accepting that which is imperfect after attempting to be the best person you can be, doing the best job you can do, loving yourself and being proud of what you did accomplish. 

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses no matter who we are. Maximizing our strengths and strengthening our weaknesses through setting realistic goals and doing everything possible to attain them helps to get to the place of self-acceptance. 

What good does almost hitting a goal make if the bar is raised before we are able to get there? All that does is create the illusion of failure when we should be proud of getting close to hitting that goal.

My parents gave me an awesome foundation as a child, teaching me to always do my best . . . but they expected perfection. When it seemed like I was ready to hit a goal they had set for me, that bar would be raised and I always felt not quite "good enough" leading to a life of frustration with myself and making perfection in everything I do as the goal. Little did I know that I would never hit that goal . . . no one can.

Perfection is an awesome thing to strive for, however, when it becomes a life obsession, that is not a good thing. It only leads to self-hatred . . . something I dealt with all of my life. I have wasted so much of my life beating myself up.

Setting realistic goals is the healthy balance.

read more