What do you really need?

Powerful words from Dr. Wayne Dyer.

I've finally reached that place in life where I have realized what I need.  To love, to be loved, good health and enough money to live comfortably.

The money part can be subjective.  Some people need more than others.  I'm happy to have a roof over my head, electricity and utilities, computer and internet, good food, a reliable vehicle and going out to eat on occasion.

Since I'm retired, I don't need to be buying clothes and shoes all the time. hmmmm I don't remember the last time I bought a new outfit.  It doesn't matter.  I have enough clothes in my closet!

We stick to a strict budget and plan for special purchases, which includes those things we really don't need, but want.  I can't explain how special those "want" purchases are now . . . I appreciate them.  

In my working days everything I wanted was a need and I didn't do without. What that got me is a house full of stuff I really don't need.  I didn't appreciate the emotional value of anything.

It made a huge difference in my life.  

Do you know what you really need?

"You have succeeded in life when all you 

really want is only what you really need." 

Vernon Howard

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Howl at the moon!

There are lazy days like today, when I like to go back through my old blogs and journal entries to get a feel for a moment in time when life was not so great.  It makes me feel so grateful for the life changes I have made and so appreciative of my new little family.  

When I recollect a place in time, like the time in June of 2008 when Buddy the dog bit me and ran away, the darkness momentarily creeps up on me like a bad dream.  He was JR's beloved dog, who resented me no matter how much love I gave him.  It is like he blamed me for JR's death . . . even though I know that a dog does not have that capacity . . . or do they? 

As if she knew that darkness was creeping up on me, my sweet little furbaby Kiki came to where I am sitting at the computer and put her little paw on my arm, and I could feel her telling me "it is OK mommy, the nightmare is over" . . . animals know!  The love in those big brown eyes made me realize that I am so lucky that The Captain convinced me it was time to adopt our sweet furbabies last year.

I still have times of momentary darkness when it feels like full moon madness and wanting to howl at the moon as loudly as I can.  The sadness and grief of missing my "previous family" trips me up and takes me back.  On the other hand, I never want to forget them . . . they were a huge part of my life.  The difference is that I have my new family and the loneliness has disappeared.

Today I am so blessed that I found that man to love, be loved by and spend the rest of my life with and sweet Kiki and Mimi to share our lives with.  I thought of that this morning when we were all sitting on the bed, the fur babies wanting love and attention from us . . . we share so much love.

My love of dogs overshadowed the fear of my previous experience in June of 2008 that brought on a fear of dogs that I thought would never go away.  And The Captain introduced me to the world of cats that I had never explored before we adopted Mimi.

Time does heal . . .



This entry was originally published on June 8, 2008 Is there a full moon out? This week has been non-stop full moon madness . . . not just this week, it started around Mother's Day. Things felt better, I picked myself up and the past couple of days have knocked me down again big time . . . but no, I'm not defeated . . . this time I feel strong and determined to shed this phase of full moon madness.

Buddy is gone . . . he ran away after biting my foot . . . it took me at least an hour to stop the bleeding. Did I mention that it hurts like hell and I want to scream every time I put my weight on my foot?

My heart is broken . . . when I opened the door to put my foot under the outside hose so I would not get blood all over my floors, he ran out and would not come back during a fierce thunder and lightning storm.

Something bizarre has been going on with the little guy lately. Every time there was a storm, he would cry like a baby and want in the house. I kept him in my back room that was secured with a doggie gate . . . he wasn't allowed in the main part of the house since he is so destructive. He learned how to knock the gate down and pretty much broke the gate, making it easy for him to escape.

I thought he would be back by now . . . and really, I'm having mixed feelings. I love him, he has been my baby for something like 12 years. I've made jokes about him being Cujo, but he DID turn on me at a time of high anxiety without me putting a hand on him. I'm too scared of him, which is part of the problem, he is a spoiled dog who gets no discipline because I didn't want him to bite me.

Hopefully, he has already found another home where he doesn't feel such resentment towards his master. It just seems like since JR died, he was never the same . . . neither one of us has been . . .

This has broken my heart and now I'm so scared of dogs. Dogs have always been such a huge part of my life . . . but I was never so fiercely bitten before.

I've been thinking of what my life is gonna be like without my little Buddy.

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A Time for Blessings

Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I go back to my old blogs to revisit where I've been to appreciate where I am now.  The following writing spoke to me today . . . I need to go back to the basics of a simple abundance lifestyle.  

I didn't write it and I have no idea where it came from.  

Simple abundance is priceless . . .

Set your own pace........When someone is pushing you, it's ok to tell them they're pushing.

Take nothing for granted........Watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbors mow.

Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive........Rest isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.

Listen to the wind blow........It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow........And now.........Now counts.

Rest on your laurels........They bring comfort whatever their size, age or condition.

Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.

Give yourself permission to be late sometimes........Life is for living, not scheduling.

Listen to the song of a bird........The complete song. Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.

Slow down. God is still in heaven........You are not responsible for doing it all...yourself... right now.

Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past........Rest there. Each moment has a richness that takes a lifetime to savor.

Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn or possess........God's gifts just are. Be grateful and their purpose will be clear.

When you walk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next........Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.

Talk and play with children........It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.

Create a place in your home...At your work....in your heart...where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.

Take time to think........Action is good and necessary, but it's  fruitful only if we muse, ponder and mull.

Make time for play........The things you like to do. Whatever your age, your inner child needs re-creation.

Watch and listen to the night sky........It speaks.

Listen to the words you speak........Especially in prayer.

Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders........ There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.

Divide big jobs into little jobs........If God took six days to create the universe, can you do any better?

Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency........The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.

Take a day off alone........Make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.

Pet a furry friend........You will give and get the gift of now.

Work with your hands........It frees the mind.

Take time to wonder........Without wonder, life is merely an existence.

Sit in the dark........It will treat you to see and hear, taste and smell.

Once in awhile........Turn down the lights, The throttle, The invitations. Less really can be more.

Let go........Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do...but often it is the best.

Taste your food........God gave it to delight as well as nourish.

Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set........They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.

And as you ramble on thru life my dearest friend........Keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole.

"AND SLOWLY COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS ONE AT A TIME"

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The Wonder of Luxuries

Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy. 

Abraham H. Maslow

For me, it has become a routine lifestyle . . . that of simple living and being grateful for what you have.  Wanting only what I absolutely need has become the mindset.  It was actually a turning point in my life . . . one that brought special meaning and appreciation for everything I am blessed with.

The lifestyle is one of survival for many . . . a lifestyle that way too many people in this world have had to adopt as we have moved into very poor economic times together with rampant unemployment.

The other night I learned how naive I have become with stuff and the necessities of life.  Honestly, I do not need the extras anymore, although I still love those luxuries of life.

It was date night with The Captain . . . we went out to eat at our favorite neighborhood buffet and decided to go to the huge mall across town.  I had forgotten how festive malls can be this time of year . . . I have not been to a mall in years.  You can't help but get that awesome feeling of Christmas.

As we went past one of those kiosks lined up in the middle of the aisle, a sales lady came to me and offered to fix my hair.  I'm always ready to be pampered!  So, she proceeded to make my very long hair that is thick and curly very soft, straight and so shiny.  I kept looking at myself in the mirror with great disbelief at how easy it was to make my hair straight with this cute little contraption.  We always want what we don't have and I have always wanted straight hair.

Before I knew it, The Captain pulled out his wallet and bought me the cute little contraption!  OMG . . . I wasn't even thinking about taking one home with me.  It is quite a pricey little thing!  What a treat!  I was like a little girl the rest of the evening.  For one thing I couldn't stop touching my silky soft hair . . . and I loved that my sweetie couldn't stop touching it either :)  I held on to that bag like someone was going to steal my little treasure from me (well, in this world, you have to be careful in reality).

When I found the above quote, I thought about those little girl feelings I had that night, so happy with my new treasure and SO excited that I can have soft straight hair whenever I want!

I'm really grateful for and appreciate my new husband :)  He's my treasured gift from God!

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Valuing Someone Gives Meaning

Showing someone that you value them resonates the soul within them and makes them feel loved and appreciated.

The need for love and being valued is so strong because it gives us meaning, and meaning is achieved through being of value to others in relationships. Valuing someone helps them overcome the fear of living a meaningless life - one of the primary adult fears. 

When was the last time you showed or told someone you valued them for who they were?

Source: The Soul Journey 

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep . . . wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU . . . The one who turns to his friends and says, that's her..."

~ Author unknown ~

It is human nature to desire acceptance and love.  Isn't it?

For me, there is nothing like the safe feeling of being loved, valued and appreciated for who I am, like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a cold day.  Relationships built on mutual respect, appreciation and value, as well as love, can be one of the most beautiful aspects of life itself.

While a person can live a whole life without a life partner, finding happiness and fulfillment in one's solitude, for me, there is something missing without that special person in my life.  Especially after losing my life partner at a young age, the emptiness within was screaming at me since I had experienced that safe feeling.  

The bonus is being loved as I am without having to change who I am.

"To love is nothing, To be loved is something,

To love and be loved is everything." 

~ Author unknown ~

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Love and appreciation

We don’t know what we’ve got

Until we lose it

But it’s also true

That we don’t know what we’ve

been missing until it arrives

Don’t let a day go by without
telling that special person in your life
you love them with all your heart
because they could be suddenly gone

I’m a widow who speaks from experience
and so glad that I did and it made a difference
We treated each other as if it was our last day
Never parting without a hug, a smile and
three little words . . . I love you

Life is fragile
We are here one day
Could be gone the next
I have no regrets

Losing someone is one end of the spectrum
At the other end is searching and finding love again
Treating it with great appreciation and respect

I know what has been missing in my life
Someone special and unconditional love
I anxiously await his arrival
As I hear his heart beat

I Love You
Donna Summer
Lyrics

Well he searched and searched for nights and days

till he found the one he loved

and he wrapped her in his arms again

and then he thanked the stars above

that he found what he’d been looking for

and he stared her in the eyes

He said “I love you”

he said “I love you”

love you, love you

She stared him right back in the eyes

with a look of disbelief

then she gazed off into somewhere else

was it real or just a dream?

and she pulled him, oh so close to her

and she whispered in his ear

She said “I love you”

she said “I love you too”

love you, love you, love you

So together they will always be

until the stars fall from the sky

They said “I love you”

yes, I really do

they said “I love you”

yes, I do

I do, I do, I do, I do

So together they will always be

until the stars fall from the sky

so if you find someone you love a lot

you must never let them go

you just hold them tight with all your might

and you say three little words

You say “I love you”

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The path of conscious awareness

The world as we know it is changing before our eyes, leaving many of us walking on shaky ground. The economic turmoil seems to have popped up and immediately resulted in the dominoes falling one after another, spiraling out of control.

Haven’t we all been touched by this economic crisis? Corporations that have been household names are either closing their doors, severely downsizing their workforce or imposing a hiring freeze, leaving the mass numbers of unemployed with nowhere to work.

Many industries are disappearing into extinction . . . who reads a newspaper or magazine anymore? Apparently less and less of us every day. Sometimes progress and new technology means pain and unforeseen consequences . . .

We have embarked on a new journey as a society and it doesn’t matter what your status in this world is, you will be affected if you haven’t been already. No matter what, as individuals, we will be changing our course of thinking and inevitably, switching paths in the not-too-distant future . . . if not already.

New paths will have to be approached with persistence and patience as some of us have entered unexplored territory that is very scary. New coping mechanisms will also have to be adopted for those times when it seems like nothing is happening . . . like sending out resumes routinely with no response as money vanishes into thin air. Where is the peace of mind? How do you keep it when you find it?

Can you imagine a new culture where a large percentage of the population is unemployed, broke, hungry, humiliated . . . totally discouraged . . . fighting to keep their sanity in a dysfunctional world? As an American, I never thought I would even have to envision that day with the farther stretch being learning how to cope with it.

My prediction is that the industry with the fastest employment growth will be pharmaceuticals . . . we are already a medicated society coping with the world as we knew it. Employment opportunities in keeping the peace . . . our local police departments will grow . . . perhaps the national guard. New opportunities will naturally evolve, even if for unpleasant reasons, like rising crime statistics.

We are on a path of a conscious awakening of what is important in life. The changes in our society calls for drastic thinking on a deeper level as to what our priorities are.

Just as the internet drastically changed business and life as we knew it before a PC in every home and office was the norm, there will be another Bill Gates-type with an intuitive endeavor or idea that will make new and innovative changes to our new reality. Back in the day we feared that computers would take over our jobs, yet new and better opportunities arose.

Perhaps it will be the beginning of a better and richer way of life. Richer in what ways? Possibly a new appreciation and gratitude . . . a conscious awakening to what is important.

Is our spoiled society strong enough to endure times of sacrifice and uncertain changes?

Do you think about what those changes will be and how they will affect life as you know it?

Keep smiling . . . if you are reading this, you are still breathing and have the gift of life.

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