The Wonder of Luxuries

Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy. 

Abraham H. Maslow

For me, it has become a routine lifestyle . . . that of simple living and being grateful for what you have.  Wanting only what I absolutely need has become the mindset.  It was actually a turning point in my life . . . one that brought special meaning and appreciation for everything I am blessed with.

The lifestyle is one of survival for many . . . a lifestyle that way too many people in this world have had to adopt as we have moved into very poor economic times together with rampant unemployment.

The other night I learned how naive I have become with stuff and the necessities of life.  Honestly, I do not need the extras anymore, although I still love those luxuries of life.

It was date night with The Captain . . . we went out to eat at our favorite neighborhood buffet and decided to go to the huge mall across town.  I had forgotten how festive malls can be this time of year . . . I have not been to a mall in years.  You can't help but get that awesome feeling of Christmas.

As we went past one of those kiosks lined up in the middle of the aisle, a sales lady came to me and offered to fix my hair.  I'm always ready to be pampered!  So, she proceeded to make my very long hair that is thick and curly very soft, straight and so shiny.  I kept looking at myself in the mirror with great disbelief at how easy it was to make my hair straight with this cute little contraption.  We always want what we don't have and I have always wanted straight hair.

Before I knew it, The Captain pulled out his wallet and bought me the cute little contraption!  OMG . . . I wasn't even thinking about taking one home with me.  It is quite a pricey little thing!  What a treat!  I was like a little girl the rest of the evening.  For one thing I couldn't stop touching my silky soft hair . . . and I loved that my sweetie couldn't stop touching it either :)  I held on to that bag like someone was going to steal my little treasure from me (well, in this world, you have to be careful in reality).

When I found the above quote, I thought about those little girl feelings I had that night, so happy with my new treasure and SO excited that I can have soft straight hair whenever I want!

I'm really grateful for and appreciate my new husband :)  He's my treasured gift from God!

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Wants, needs and a little faith

In the midst of rough financial times, there is always that little something we want, but don't necessarily need . . . a little treat, a reward for surviving the struggle.

The following article comes from the Guideposts newsletter, which always provides me with a wealth of inspiration along with renewed faith and hope, like a reminder that God never gives us more than we can handle . . . and even the lesson of patience.

I couldn’t afford to buy a little gift for myself. 

But I could dream, couldn't I?

By Vickie Apicella, Port Orange, Florida

I stared longingly at the pair of brown clogs on the department store display rack. They seemed to be calling out my name. I tried to remind myself that I was only here today to buy my mother a special birthday gift. I couldn’t afford anything more. But now, these seemingly perfect brown flats were breaking down my resolve.


I guess you could say I’m a bit of a shop-a-holic, but I hadn’t been able to shop much lately. I’m a teacher, and in this economy, I hadn’t found a summer job. Over the past few months, my already meager savings had dwindled. It was only thanks to my generous parents that I could pay my bills.


Now, with a few weeks of paychecks in the bank and Mom’s birthday coming up, I wanted to show my mom how much I appreciated her help. I’d found a beautiful black sweater that I knew Mom would love and was all set to leave. Then the brown clogs caught my eye. They had a woven pattern on top and I already could picture all the outfits they’d go with.


I had to have them. I tucked the shoes under my arm and made my way towards the cash register. But a guilty feeling washed over me. “God,” I prayed, “I don’t really need these shoes, and I can’t afford to spend the extra money. I can make do with all you have given me.” Sadly, I returned the shoes to their place on the rack, paid for my mother’s present and left.


The next day, I stopped by my friend Terri’s house after work. Just before I was about to say goodbye, Terri stopped me. “I almost forgot,” she said. “I’ve got a box of old stuff I was going to give to a consignment shop, but if there’s anything you’re interested in, you’re more than welcome to help yourself.”


After yesterday’s shopping, I was in no mood to go looking through old clothes. Some consolation prize they would be, I thought. But I took a peek.


There, on top of the pile, was a pair of brand new looking brown clogs, with a woven pattern on top, just like the ones I’d turned down. “They’re too small on me,” Terri said.


I tried them on. Wouldn’t you know it? A perfect fit.


Read more Mysterious Ways stories
from Guideposts

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Life Changes

We’re always moving into new experiences, new possibilities. This constant change unsettles the personality, which finds security in stability. But with life always in flux, that security is an illusion. We experience pain by trying to hold on to things that are not solid.

Life becomes joyful when we can open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. This requires us to let go of the need to control. We need to learn to trust.

"Can it then be that what we call the ‘self’ is fluid and elastic? It evolves, strikes a different balance with every new breath."

-- Wayne Muller

It doesn't matter where you are in life, changes of all kinds are continuously evolving. There are times when you have to go back to a place a time to really appreciate present life challenges and realize that things aren't as bad as they seem.

The following post written over a year ago found me at my lowest point ever, struggling in every area of my life, standing at the crossroads of life, not knowing where I was going or which path to take . . . all I knew is that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, realizing life would be wonderful again.

It has been a challenging time for me professionally even though I am working at the place that is perfect for me at this time of my life. Nothing is perfect in life all the time . . . no matter what, there will be struggles and challenges to face.

Isn't that the nature of the beast?

The thing to do is know when it is time to recharge the batteries, be grateful for life lessons, look back at other times challenges were faced and know that they were conquered by taking life one step at a time.

Today I am charging my batteries, not feeling well and decided to take the day off to heal. After reading the following post, my batteries have been recharged and I'm ready to face my present day challenges knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to do.

Life is beautiful and I am very grateful for all the gifts that God has blessed me with since my life has drastically changed since the day I wrote the following post.


This post was originally written
12/12/08

Today has found me feeling that unsettled emotion that scares me so badly.

eBay suspended me because of low seller ratings from buyers for two things that they agreed to when they bought items from me . . . high shipping and handling fees and long shipping times . . . both are no secret . . . I'm an honest seller! I clearly disclose those facts. Now my eBay account is locked up until my "seller ratings improve" . . . I can't even edit anything in my store or stop an item from relisting since I have automatic relisting until the item sells on everything.

Through the years eBay has made it increasingly difficult to make money online . . . it was once an awesome way to make money . . . good money. I hate changes and feelings of insecurity.

eBay has been my only means of steady survival . . . something I could fall back on while I am on my job search. All this means is that I'm gonna have to jump at the first job that comes my way instead of finding something that is suited for me. I hate looking for a job while I have a job . . . to me, that is not being loyal. Hopefully I will get some short term work to hold me over until I find what I really want.

Damn eBay . . . I hate them! But . . . haven't I been holding on to something that has not been solid for a while?  I had no idea the economy was gonna go through so many swift changes . . . nobody did!

As the dominoes fall all around the world, I'm not the only one holding on to shaky ground. It seems like the "world society" is bracing for the wildest financial ride of our lives. Very scary . . .

I've done all I can do from my computer as far as the job search goes. Several agencies have contacted me for interviews . . . so . . . I will probably be heading out for my mom's house tomorrow since everything is on her side of town.

Now that I think she understands to stop nagging me because it makes me very depressed to have so much negative energy coming my way, we can have another pleasant visit and I can be on the right side of town where all the awesome jobs are. I don't know what's happened to my part of town lately . . . even the big stores moved out.

I'll spend the balance of the evening packing up my stuff and prepare for another adventure. The ironic part of writing about changes tonight is how I am changing. It seems as though the changes are coming faster, I'm adapting to picking up and leaving the house for days and weeks at a time. There was a time getting in the car to drive to the grocery store was a major problem and someone had to go with me when I did leave.

On some days, finding those little things to be grateful for are difficult to find. It would seem that finding those things today could possibly be impossible, but they are not.

One thing about going through rough times and feeling like you have hit bottom . . . when you pick yourself up and see how far you've come, there is not much in the world that you can be more grateful for . . . other than healthy life itself.

Tonight I am looking back at those times when JR first died . . . I had times of not getting in a vehicle and going anywhere for months . . . years at a time. There was no reason for me to leave . . . JR did all the running around and he was so happy to have me home waiting on him. When he died, I was dysfunctional in so many ways and had to overcome many battles. Tonight I am grateful for those battles.

As I face an ever-increasing financial crisis, I am a stronger person who can almost laugh in the face of fear and struggles . . . I've been at the very bottom and I know I will never be there again. It is just a matter of going through the motions, doing what I've gotta do, keep making those incremental changes in my life.

The first step is finding that job that will make me financially secure, content with my life and find that job satisfaction that totally fulfilled me in the past. OK, so I'll be happy just making enough money to get me by until I find that perfect job for me.

And I do see the light at the end of the tunnel :-)

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Sign of the times

“Our lives improve only when we take chances . . .
and the first and most difficult risk we can take
is to be honest with ourselves.”

Walter Anderson

Seems like there is a trend in our society where difficult economic times are bringing friends and family together, helping each other out and binding us closer together.

Trying to decide how to cope and live without a steady stream of money from my eBay store and finally coming to terms with the fact that getting another job isn’t going to be as easy as it once was has been a harsh reality to face. The decision to move back in with mom is, in many ways, a step backward in the progress of moving on with my life as an independent individual . . . but it is called survival . . . and a sign of the time.

I’ve heard of many people making this type of change in their lifestyle and since making the decision to change mine, through endless hours, days and weeks of pondering my situation, I realized that our society could possibly be changing to one where we are moving closer to family and friends and slowing down to help one another.

Closer to becoming a less selfish society?

In this awful time of life circumstances so many of us find ourselves in, there is a silver lining and something positive to be gained from this “crisis” that has almost changed our world overnight.

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The path of conscious awareness

The world as we know it is changing before our eyes, leaving many of us walking on shaky ground. The economic turmoil seems to have popped up and immediately resulted in the dominoes falling one after another, spiraling out of control.

Haven’t we all been touched by this economic crisis? Corporations that have been household names are either closing their doors, severely downsizing their workforce or imposing a hiring freeze, leaving the mass numbers of unemployed with nowhere to work.

Many industries are disappearing into extinction . . . who reads a newspaper or magazine anymore? Apparently less and less of us every day. Sometimes progress and new technology means pain and unforeseen consequences . . .

We have embarked on a new journey as a society and it doesn’t matter what your status in this world is, you will be affected if you haven’t been already. No matter what, as individuals, we will be changing our course of thinking and inevitably, switching paths in the not-too-distant future . . . if not already.

New paths will have to be approached with persistence and patience as some of us have entered unexplored territory that is very scary. New coping mechanisms will also have to be adopted for those times when it seems like nothing is happening . . . like sending out resumes routinely with no response as money vanishes into thin air. Where is the peace of mind? How do you keep it when you find it?

Can you imagine a new culture where a large percentage of the population is unemployed, broke, hungry, humiliated . . . totally discouraged . . . fighting to keep their sanity in a dysfunctional world? As an American, I never thought I would even have to envision that day with the farther stretch being learning how to cope with it.

My prediction is that the industry with the fastest employment growth will be pharmaceuticals . . . we are already a medicated society coping with the world as we knew it. Employment opportunities in keeping the peace . . . our local police departments will grow . . . perhaps the national guard. New opportunities will naturally evolve, even if for unpleasant reasons, like rising crime statistics.

We are on a path of a conscious awakening of what is important in life. The changes in our society calls for drastic thinking on a deeper level as to what our priorities are.

Just as the internet drastically changed business and life as we knew it before a PC in every home and office was the norm, there will be another Bill Gates-type with an intuitive endeavor or idea that will make new and innovative changes to our new reality. Back in the day we feared that computers would take over our jobs, yet new and better opportunities arose.

Perhaps it will be the beginning of a better and richer way of life. Richer in what ways? Possibly a new appreciation and gratitude . . . a conscious awakening to what is important.

Is our spoiled society strong enough to endure times of sacrifice and uncertain changes?

Do you think about what those changes will be and how they will affect life as you know it?

Keep smiling . . . if you are reading this, you are still breathing and have the gift of life.

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Walk away . . . be true to yourself

I’ve “walked away” many times in my life for the sake of being true to myself. As I contemplate choices for my future, I have been thinking of those many times I’ve thrown caution to the wind in order find true happiness and my ideal quality of life. Since my husband died, quality of life issues have become much more important to me in the scope of a lifetime that can be gone in the blink of an eye.

The last occurrence of walking away was a couple of months ago when I just walked out of a high paying position with a corporation who is still operating profitably in desperate economic times, offering unlimited overtime and all kinds of perks.

After more than a decade of leaving the corporate environment for my sanity, a poor financial state made it necessary for me to attempt another return while vowing to remain true to myself and do those things that don’t make me stressed out.

It didn’t take long before I found myself driving home in tears, feeling overwhelmed and unhappy with the knowledge that jobs are not easy to find these days and thinking about the money.

Two months later, I’m still unemployed and struggling as a once successful internet entrepreneur hanging in there waiting for the economy to bring back buyers to my internet stores. Fear is in control of buyers, including myself. So far I’ve had enough to make it.

Despite the financial obstacles . . . I’M HAPPY because I am doing what I truly love and being true to myself. Hopefully the masquerade of a “real job” is finally over and I can put down the roles that I’ve played unsuccessfully so many times . . . my final curtain call.

The decision has been made to undertake yet another entrepreneurial internet endeavor with a friend. I’m having faith that I can be financially secure and true to myself forever . . . such is the life of a free spirit in search of peace, love and happiness.

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Loving the joys in life

A simple thing like having my computer back to almost normal after being hit with a nasty virus that took months, weeks and lots of patience to get rid of has made me a deliriously happy person today. I knock on wood and say a little prayer as I say that I got rid of it . . . I thought I had been rid of it before and it came creeping back to wreak more havoc.

Since my computer is where I make a living and I have been broke, I had to be inventive and figure out ways to attack this virus as I did not have the money to go out and buy another computer or a hard drive . . . or even take it to someone to fix.

My stubborn determination paid off for me this time, although my computer system is a complete mess. I’ll figure it out and learn something new at the same time . . . I’m not a computer systems geek, just a general computer geek.

When the challenge made me angry enough to find the way, I treated it as a game . . . the computer virus had to be defeated. As I sit at my computer working and finally able to play music again, I feel the satisfaction of accomplishment . . . and the music has brought me so much more joy today than in the past when it was an ordinary thing in my life.

Sure, I have been majorly bummed out about having these computer problems compounded by the accidental death of a close friend, slow internet sales and no steady job with benefits . . . BUT I try to be aware of and grateful for the little things that bring joy to my life and know that I will be touched with many little joys that bring a smile to my face.

It is called simple abundance. Finding joy in those little things in life make the big struggles tolerable. Since adopting this lifestyle way over a decade ago, my life has changed from the career woman who drove home in tears every night after a day of work. I’ll take smiles and just getting by over lots of money and tears any day. It is a choice of a simple lifestyle and realizing that ordinary can be awesome.

The downward spiral of the economy has found many of us in a bad place in life and I am so grateful that I have learned how to cope with the obstacles by loving the joys in life which brings peace to my soul.

Tomorrow is another day and I feel awesome changes are coming in my life.

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Tragic society

The news of more and more foreclosures, rising unemployment and general financial disasters has made me wonder when things would start getting really crazy as society becomes so distraught, feeling like they are pushed against the wall with nowhere to go.

It occurred to me tonight that the tragedies have begun and we need to be aware of those close to us . . . you never know what a person or a family is going through.

In recent news I read of a man who froze to death in his home . . . his electricity had been turned off. Didn’t anyone know he was in that situation? An act of kindness as simple as a ride to a local shelter so he could sleep in a warm room and the man would be alive today. It reminded me of a news story I heard a year or two ago where a man was dead in his house for months, maybe even a year . . . and no one knew . . .

Another story hit me as so tragic today . . . a man and his wife both lost their jobs . . . they were found shot to death in their home, along with their children . . . murder/suicide. The story of why was faxed to the local television station before the deaths occurred.

It is tragic desperation . . . I don’t believe in the government bailing out society when money does not grow on trees and “society” is becoming financially devastated and unemployed . . . where does it end? We, as a society, must start helping each other in little ways that will make a difference.

There is always coping with life and a way out of a situation . . . time and faith for starters. Death is not the way, although sometimes I think the ones not having to go through the type of struggles our society is embarking upon are the peaceful souls as we are entering into a time in our world that is a form of hell on earth. We will soon hear these stories with daily frequency and become more desensitized than we already are.

While I can understand the mentality of being distraught, I also know that if we take a moment at a time, think about the situation, reach out to each other, draw closer together . . . there is nothing we can’t do as a society . . . we have no choice but to help each other survive.

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