The tragic fires in California this past week have given me so much to think about life, hopes and dreams and gratitude. In the course of life, going after our hopes and dreams or experiencing difficult life circumstances, we sometimes get overwhelmed and forget to be grateful. It is human nature and doesn't mean that we are an ungrateful person.
Since The Captain passed away last year and having to make the difficult decision to put my sweet fur baby Kiki to sleep recently, grief has taken me over and although I am usually grateful for everything I have been blessed with, the deep pain within has consumed me.
Those in the path of those fires not only face losing their home, but their lifestyle. The lucky ones will still have their home, but friends and neighbors will probably be gone, all the familiar places like grocery stores and schools gone. No doubt these "lucky" people will feel that horrible feeling of deep grief that will change their life forever. And like grief from a physical death, they will probably feel profound guilt.
No matter what their circumstance, most had hopes and dreams. Some achieved dreams, some had future dreams . . . both are perceived gone at first.
Having watched way too many hours of news, it has made me think about life in general and have ultimately realized how grateful I am for everything I have been blessed with and I can have new hopes and dreams for my life.
The following poem and all that thinking made it all make sense.
"Today I woke and found myself
With less than yesterday
My life was missing things
I had assumed were here to stay
Things that had seemed little 'til they left a giant space,
Left an empty silence
And a longing in their place
And I began to understand
That when push came to shove
I longed for what I’d had
When I’d thought that was not enough
I’d always looked ahead
Was always chasing more and more
Growing so complacent
Of the things I once wished for
Running to tomorrow,
To the weekend, to next year
Forgetting I was lucky
For the things already here
And all this made me realize
That my life can’t buy more time
So maybe I should spend my time
Loving this life of mine
And maybe I’ll be grateful
For the little things I’ve got
That seem inconsequential
But which mean an awful lot
So, tonight I’ll thank the stars
Instead of asking them for more
And I will hope to wake with all
The things I’ve thanked them for
‘Cause now I see that my todays
Are filled with time I’ve borrowed
And I shouldn’t sit around and waste them
Chasing my tomorrows."
'Chasing Tomorrow' by Becky Helmsley from 'Letters from Life'
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