It happens to me every day . . . the memories, the tears and the sadness that doesn't want to go away. I try to dwell on happy memories, but the sadness still sneaks in. Profound sadness. I never wear makeup anymore, it is too messy with the tears.
My doctor asked me if I want to die as a result of the sadness. No, I don't want to die, but I'm not fearful that I will. I know where I am going. And at this point in my life, the number of people close to me still living are less than those who have left me.
Positive thinking doesn't help since that is tricking myself into one thing or another.
I know the grief I am feeling is still fresh and will be with me the rest of my life. The bad feelings just have to change at least for a little while. This too shall pass.
