Encourage Yourself

Treating yourself with the same gentleness

and respect you afford others can give

you the strength to accomplish what 

you want in life.

Feelings of unworthiness could negatively affect your self-confidence and cause you to judge yourself harshly. 

Giving yourself the same kind of encouragement you would give others can make you feel more confident and give you the strength to keep striving for success. When you treat yourself with respect and encouragement, you will find that all you desire becomes easier to reach.

Source:  Daily Om

The above was part of my horoscope for today.

It has been a rough week and I have beat myself up pretty badly.  My thoughts have been self-defeating and negative.  The taunting of my dad telling me how unworthy I am keeps creeping into my thoughts and won't go away.  I needed this message today!

Encouragement is my word of the day and I am so glad this message popped up for me today.  It is time to respect myself and give myself credit for everything positive and do those things that bring me joy because I deserve it.

Time to lose the negativity!

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Support of your loved ones

The strength that your loved ones give you could inspire you to examine a more challenging life path. 

The aid and support of your loved ones can give you the courage to make the most of the opportunities you have been given. The people who care for you are a resource that you can draw from for support, and the value they can add to your experience is unlimited. Knowing that you are loved can raise your self-esteem, help you feel more comfortable taking risks, and empower you to believe in yourself. Because the people that are important to you will always support you, you’ll be less afraid of failure and more likely to try again should you falter. When you feel bolstered by your loved ones, you will see that anything is possible.

Source:  Daily OM

Growing up, my dad always called me stupid, nothing I did was ever good enough, always raising the bar of expectations as they were close to being reached.  Maybe in his warped way of thinking he was shaping me to be a better and stronger person, not knowing the lifelong damage it would do to me.

For most of my young life, I tried so hard to meet his expectations that were never going to be met.   The result?  As a young adult, I spiralled out of control and was thrust out in a world that I was not ready for, however, deep down inside I knew that I was not that stupid little girl that I was made to believe I was all my life.

Armed with traces of self-confidence from my past accomplishments that I knew were a good thing, I set out to prove to myself that the stupid little girl was never real.  It was a figment of my dad's warped imagination.  Why a person would do that to an innocent little girl is beyond my comprehension.

As time went on, I did prove to myself that I am a very intelligent person with compassion for others.  The compassion came from understanding the emotional hardships we all go through and what they do to our mental health.  However, self-esteem has always been a problem for me, no matter what I accomplish.

There have been people in my life who have recognized my problem with self-esteem and used it as a weapon against me.  It personally stops me in my tracks when I recognize it is happening and makes me wonder why this person is still in my life and their trait of flawed compassion questions my capacity to make wise choices.

It doesn't have to be loved ones.  The support of those we admire means so much . . . think about it.  Compassion and support from others is a treasured gift that should be cherished when you find it.

  

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I am who I am!

I am who I am, and that is all I need to be.

I've actually liked myself in certain times of my life.  

The rest of my life I have hated myself.  In my realization of self-hate after JR died, I had to first admit to myself that the self-hate existed and then forgive myself, which I did.  

However, it has been quite a journey back to liking myself.  But you know, that is not good enough!  It must be love myself.

I've written about why I have hated myself at times.  It goes back to my childhood and one of the learned experiences from my father of not being good enough.  I was never good enough in his eyes and I hated myself for it.  I longed for the acceptance I never received.

The phases of loving myself were during the successful times of my life.  I knew I was good enough.  You know I'm my biggest critic . . . it is what I learned as a child!  I've had many successes in my life and very proud of those times, which makes the not so successful times of my life more pronounced.

Fast forward to present times.  Life experience has taught me that I am who I am and that is all I need to be.  Self-acceptance is what it is and not so easy for me.  The opinions of others are just their opinions and I am caring less each day what anyone thinks about me.

Self-acceptance is especially difficult when I'm not accomplishing anything and simply living my life.  My parents pounded "accomplishment" into my head like that is all that life was about.  That thinking is so wrong.  Accomplishment is important, but not all that should consume one's life.

I always ask myself the question "What is normal anyway" . . . and I still don't have the answer.  Never will I apologize for who I am with all my flaws and whatever "normal" is, I am not.

There are times when I backslide and start to hate myself again, but I am recognizing those times and learning how to turn it around.

I am who I am . . . a complicated contradiction of myself.

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Push Back

No, it is not Monday, but it sure has been manic!
It seems like my life is a vicious cycle of stuff happening like a revolving door of "time flies while you are having fun" that doesn't seem to go away.  The fun part is my sarcastic humor.
As I was searching through my journals for positive and inspirational posts from the past when life was really horrible for me, I came across the following post.  At least it reminds me that this too shall pass.
I could have written the following post today, except that I'm not feeling none too positive these days.  The line "everyone experiences obstacles at inopportune times" especially rings true today.  There is never a good time for negative stuff that happens in life, but the stuff usually piles on to something else for us.
I've spent today trying to be positive, reading inspirational writings and making a conscious effort to laugh and find the humor in life's happenings rather than get myself upset over things that can't be controlled.  But I have to be honest . . . I'm not feeling grateful for more life lessons . . . guess it is the "bad stuff burnout."
This has got to be one of those serious, get your attention life tests because something else that is pretty important broke as we are trying to deal with a huge tree that fell on our back storage shed with a chainsaw that is now useless.  As each day goes by, the weight of the tree is smashing the aluminum shed further toward the ground.  That one side is starting to look like an accordion . . . as seen from far away.  I'm not ready to observe it closely. 
More stuff to spend too much money on.
Lots of memories and treasures are in that shed.
I'm starting to feel like this house has become a money pit!
So ready for the "greatness potential"  in the following quote to start kicking in.

The following post was originally published on June 5, 2008

When life pushes you down, push back! That's what you're here for. You're capable, you're creative, you're full of life and energy. You have what it takes to move yourself forward around any obstacle. Don't let anything stop you.

Take strength from meeting the challenges, and move ahead.The struggles you face are just what you need to fulfill your potential for greatness.

Think back over the past year. Consider the ways in which you've grown, the things you've learned, your accomplishments. Most of these probably came from overcoming some challenge or adversity which initially stood in your way.

A year from now, when you look back at today, you'll see that the problem you're so concerned with right now, was another valuable lesson waiting to be learned.

~ Ralph Marston ~

This past year has been a definite time of changes and accomplishments in my life, my thinking and the outlook for my future . . . no matter how I'm feeling today as I am picking myself back up again from the last fall.

Failure is not making the attempt to get up again.

The good news is that as I read the quote today, my positive thinking kicked in very instinctively and all of the progress I've made this past year flooded my mind. It resulted in the reassurance within my spirit that all has not been lost and everyone experiences obstacles at inopportune times.

Besides, is there EVER an opportune time for an obstacle? When it rains and pours at the same time, you have more to deal with, however, it is like killing two birds with one stone.

Today I am feeling so grateful
 for so many things . . .

1. Having the time and money to contemplate
 life before moving on to the next phase.

2. The internet and having information at my 
fingertips like the featured quote . . . those 
things that bring clarity in my 
life's ponderings.

3. Being able to forgive someone who hurt
 me and not burning that bridge.

4. A good night's sleep!!

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