Promise to believe in yourself

 

"If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done."

Vince Lombardi

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.

Norman Vincent Peale

If you have self-confidence and believe in yourself, the sky is the limit. You can achieve what you want to achieve.

Having courage is important since we can not get bogged down in the what ifs and fear of failure. That mentality is self defeating and in itself can lead to failure just because of the attitude.

Why is determination important? It will prevent you from giving up before you achieve your goal.

If you believe what you are trying to achieve is worth failure, you must promise yourself to go for it and make a sacrifice.

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Today's failures, tomorrow's success

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles."

(Helen Keller)

It is so easy for us to get caught up in obstacles that get in the way.  At least it is for me.  Forward motion turns into procrastination.  

One of the most difficult things for me is turning it back around, which sometimes turns into variations of depression.

The secret to overcoming obstacles . . . learn perseverance.  That is what I take from the awesome quote.

The thought process must be "just do it!"

Easier said than done . . .

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Defeating the Doubt

Life is a journey.  We will encounter winding roads, rocky roads and forks in the road.  They are all phases we need to push through to another stepping stone on our journey.  Along the journey, one of the biggest challenges we will encounter is doubt.

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt ~ William Shakespeare

When doubt creeps in, it is important to realize whether the doubt is a good thing and your intuition is stopping you from making the wrong choice or the traitor who brings on the fear to keep us from progressing.

Fear of failure is a strong fear that will keep you stuck in place for fear of moving on to the unknown.  Fear of success will also keep you stuck in place for fear of what that success means and how it will change your life.

Isn't it sometimes easier to deal with the known misery like an trusted old friend rather than move on with the unknown change that is like dealing with a stranger you must learn to trust?

That is when it is necessary to take a look back and access the journey, making note of those times you met the challenge, moved on to the next stage and the next and the next.  They were probably little steps. 

Remember how awesome it felt to reach the next stage?

Imagine how the next victory phase of success will change your life in positive ways.  Think of the little steps it will take to get there, not the whole phase of your journey.

Overwhelm can take over, put a stop to forward progress and possibly set you back a step or two.  It usually happens when we try to absorb the whole phase instead of a tiny part of it.

It is so important to continually access your progress and be proud of it, know that you can do it, rather than let doubt creep in and stop you in your tracks.

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Do It Anyway

Since I have had a case of the blahs and have been

 writing negative posts, I thought I would post

 something positive from Mother Theresa.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

(Mother Teresa)

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Invincible Determination

"If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done."

Vince Lombardi  

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek."

Mario Andretti 

"The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come."

James Whitcomb Riley

 

"An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything, and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men."

Thomas Fuller

Determination is defined as the act of 
coming to a decision or of fixing
 or settling a purpose.


You could say that determination is the key to self-respect and confidence . . . it all works together.  

The need for success or attainment of a goal is the fuel for determination . . . you want it, it is a must . . . no matter what!

A strong-willed person with ambition will take a set back as a lesson in circumstance, developing discipline along the way which is also necessary in order to reach the desired goal.  Like everything in life, it is about balancing all the components of determination.

In times of dire circumstances, the determination to survive can either make or break a person.  If you fall down enough times, do you continue to dust yourself off and get back up or give up completely?

What makes the difference?  

At what point does one experience

 what I call a broken spirit?

All I know is this . . . in my times of experiencing a broken spirit, the thought of failure gives me the determination and a wild ambition to keep it going.  The balance of experiencing the broken spirit with the determination to not fail helps me get back up and keep on keeping on.  

Sometimes the broken spirit results in a greater determination to succeed . . . that is when balance and discipline enters into the mix.  At least that is the way I see it . . . 

The difference between success and failure is a state of mind.  What I have perceived as my greatest failures have led to the greatest times of happiness in my life.  

An excellent example is giving up on a job in a dysfunctional workplace that would have produced negative results no matter what the effort.  It is all in how you perceive the situation.  Success in sticking it out would never produce joy and happiness, which is the goal in my life. 

You have to know which battles to fight in order to find the success you are looking for in your life.

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Freedom and success . . . the other side of fear of failure

Fear of failure . . . despite rational thinking, education, talent and ability . . . makes the exhilaration of victory and success impossible. Fear can cause a potentially successful person to accept mediocrity . . . if you don’t take the risk, you’re guaranteed not to face failure.

The other side of that fear

is freedom and success . . .

Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”


Thoughts are powerful and fear is irrational . . . it is the thought of the fear, not the actual experience or “failure,” but the dread it inspires. Obsessive dwelling on the matter reinforces one dark thought after another until success is no longer a reality.


The weight of the dread and fear builds and grows, slowing down progress and cluttering the mind. If the fear is thought of logically, we find they have no rational basis.

Just do it . . .

Smart educated engineers laughed at Henry Ford’s dream of building automobiles, who no doubt perceived him as illiterate and ignorant since he was just an uneducated man with a dream.


Ford was "ignorant" of the fear he overcame due to of his lack of education. His dream was greater than his fear and perceived “limitations” . . . positive thoughts of his dream drove him to success.


How unfortunate would it have been if he let his fear of failure conquer him?


Success is action and bold, courageous movement toward your goals and dreams. Action dispels fear . . . giving fear the time to occupy the thought process is giving it permission to paralyze any efforts and actions, leading to ultimate failure that was feared to begin with. Fear is not rational and is a vicious cycle!


Boldly moving toward your goals a little at a time, embracing the smallest of victories along the way, can start chipping away at that bondage of fear.

Success knows no boundaries!

Understanding how these fears affect us and learning how to cope and manage ourselves in the midst of the fear is one of the most important steps to freedom from fears.


When you miss out on an opportunity due to fear, you will never get that moment back . . . then the floodgates of regrets open up to mingle with the fears.  The pity party is then on its way . . . it is a vicious cycle.


We can’t prevent bad things from happening in our lives, but we can learn how to suppress or eliminate the obsessive focus fear places on us and not live a life of mediocrity with regrets.


We only have one life . . . and we CAN control the quality of that life through our thoughts and attitude.

You can conquer almost any fear if you

will only make up your mind to do so.

For remember, fear doesn’t exist 

anywhere except in the mind. 

~Dale Carnegie~

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Who sets the standards you live by?

“If I get to pick what I want to do, then it's play...

if someone else tells me that I have to do it, then it's work.”

-- Patricia Nourot

Are you continually struggling to accomplish what is expected of you?

If so, stop to think for a moment: who holds those expectations?

Perhaps you’re trying to meet the expectations of a parent or a teacher or other authority figures who may be long gone from your life. But many of us toil under the critical eyes of a vague ‘somebody’ who always judges that we’ve never done enough or done things well enough.

Who is this phantom judge?

And do we need to care about what they think any longer?

We find both our own power and happiness

when we begin to set our own standards around

what has heart and meaning for us.

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see.

Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere.

But if you listen to the sound of your own voice,

you can rise above doubt and judgment.

And you can see forever.”

-- Nancy Lopez

As a child, that judge was my dad who ruled with an iron fist . . . strict and emotionally abusive. He set all the standards which constantly changed, making it impossible to attain the "ideal standard" . . . after constantly feeling the failure of attempting to conform to those standards, I became resentful and increasingly rebellious as I approached the age of becoming a young adult.

In the workplace, I set the standards . . . and often exceeded those standards. I set standards that were high, yet attainable . . . of course I would raise the bar as goals were met, but at least I let myself reach those goals before expecting more from myself. My dad taught me that lesson without realizing it.

My rebellious, resentful nature bought me the ticket of freedom . . . my dad kicked me out . . . his standards were still not being met and I didn't care since I was meeting my personal goals and had become successful enough in the workplace to live on my own.
I've always tried to be true to myself since then . . . and set my own standards, whether they are right or wrong . . . they are my mistakes to make.

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Peace, love, happiness . . . and success . . . some guidelines

One of my favorite bloggers, Marelisa, calls the following list "58 Habits That Will Help You Succeed." In my opinion, the outcome of putting these new habits into action is peace, love and happiness, along with the success.

In the years since suddenly becoming a widow, I have pondered quality of life in the short time we have on earth, what it means to me and what it takes to get there. I've adopted many of the "habits" that Marelisa suggests, along with being grateful for all the little things that bring me simple pleasures.

The theme of my blog is peace, love and happiness, which means so much to me. This weekend, death has crept into my life again . . . another beloved and cherished family member is gone. As my partner and I gathered with other family members this weekend, I was once again reminded of those things truly important in life. It had been years since seeing some of those family members that I love so much, but too busy with living life to take time out to spend time with them.

Quality of life is balancing all those things that mean the most to you . . . above all is loving and respecting those significant people in your life.

Thank you Marelisa for the awesome list and for the continued inspiration (the link to her fabulous blog is at the end of this post ) . . . I will be making the attempt to add some of these new habits to my life.

Hopefully there is something in the following list that will motivate you to make some changes in your life and make your quality of life the best that it can be.

1. Constantly ask yourself: “What do I want?”

2. Set goals.

3. Plan how you’re going to accomplish your goals.

4. Set clear deadlines for your goals.

5. Establish how you’re going to measure the progress you’re making toward achieving your goals.

6. Track the progress you’re making toward hitting your objectives.

7. Feed your mind with the thoughts, words, and images that are most consistent with who you want to be, what you want to have, and what you want to achieve.

8. Constantly ask yourself “how” you can achieve your goals.

9. Plan your day the night before.

10. Every morning as soon as you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep, look at your goals and visualize yourself achieving them.

11. Invest the first hour of every day on yourself.

12. Each day do the most important thing on your To-Do List first.

13. Do one thing at a time without distractions.

14. Each week review how the week went and what you accomplished.

15. Take the time to replenish your energy:  get enough sleep; take frequent, short breaks while you work; and keep a Secular Sabbath each week.

16. Take regular vacations.

17. Drink lots of water.

18. Eat three meals a day and have two healthy snacks each day.

19. Get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.

20. Be a lifelong learner.

21. Seek to continually perfect your craft.

22. Constantly ask yourself:  “How can this be improved?” and “Is there a better way to do this?”

23. Organize your space in a way that makes sense to you; everything should have its place.

24. When you’re done using something, put it back where it belongs.

25. Schedule regular decluttering sessions.

26. Associate with people you admire, respect and want to be like.

27. Move quickly when you have an idea or notice an opportunity.

28. Think before you act; consider the consequences of several different courses of action prior to making a decision on what steps to take.

29. Be frugal.

30. Save at least 10% of your income, off the top, before any other expenditure.

31. Tithe 10% of your income.

32. Do your homework and think hard before making any decision on where to invest your money.

33. Don’t invest in anything that you don’t understand.

34. Think in terms of the satisfaction that you feel from saving, investing, and growing your money.

35. Insure properly against any risk that you can’t write a check to cover.

36. Protect your estate from unnecessary taxes and frivolous lawsuits.

37. Consider carefully before making any expenditure.

38. Focus on those activities which you most enjoy, are good at, and make a valuable contribution to others.

39. Always be on the look-out for new opportunities.

40. Dress like a person who’s going somewhere in life.

41. Look for ways to make others be more successful in fulfilling their responsibilities.

42. Be persistent; stick to a task until it’s completed.

43. Think flexibly: consider alternative points of view, use lateral thinking, and be willing to change your mind based on additional information or reasoning.

44. Look for ways to put in more than you get out; sow more than you reap.

45. Maintain a positive attitude.

46. Delegate tasks that you don’t enjoy and which are not core activities.

47. Practice prevention: take the car in for regular tune-ups; get regular physical and dental checkups; and so on.

48. Be punctual.

49. Question your assumptions on a regular basis.

50. Make others feel important.

51. Spend time with the most important people in your life every day.

52. Give praise and approval to those who deserve it.

53. Pay attention to people when they talk and be a good listener.

54. When it comes to your significant other, make trust and forgiveness your default mode.

55. Focus more on what your partner does right than on what he or she does wrong.

56. Hug your significant other as soon as you see each other after work.

57. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” to your significant other every morning.

58. Give thanks each day for everything you received.

Marelisa's blog

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Happiness and success

Success is not the key to happiness.
Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing,

you will be successful.
Herman Cain

Learn how to be happy with what you have
while you pursue all that you want.
Jim Rohn

Happiness is a mindset tied into expectations and attitudes. There have been days when I wake up expecting a bad day . . . and that is what I get. On other days, I expect to be happy and content . . . even bad circumstances don't get me down resulting in a fabulously happy day.

The difference is expectations and attitudes.

Success is not a destination, it’s a journey.
Zig Ziglar 

Choice, not circumstances, determines your success.
Anonymous

Isn't happiness a choice that leads to success?

Although I believe in luck, fate and all of that, I also believe we make our own success and failures.

Isn't our perception of success and failure a mindset?

In my opinion, success comes from satisfaction and there is no greater satisfaction than loving what you do. Some choose a career merely for the money, others for the job satisfaction. Those doing what they love will perceive a greater success due to the joy associated with what they are doing.

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Regrets . . . or Stepping Stones?

"Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. 
So I take every opportunity."

- Cameron Diaz


"You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done.
 It is what you haven't done that will torment you. 
The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! 
Develop an appreciation for the present moment. 
Seize every second of your life and savor it. 
Value your present moments. 
Using them up in any self-defeating ways
 means you've lost them forever."

- Wayne Dyer



"Never give up and good luck will find you."

- Falcor, is the Luck Dragon from the awesome movie "The NeverEnding Story" which came out in 1984.



Love Comes in Many Forms
By Meredith Banker 

(http://www.twitter.com/actressgirl218)

Love comes in many forms
Self-love is the best
It is better to want than need
But everyone needs
Find the need in yourself
And fill it with what you want
I wish; I grow
I challenge
I look for those who challenge my heart, my soul, my expansion
I am expanding and it is a beautiful thing
I always want, I always stay hungry
Never sacrifice yourself or your dreams to fulfill someone else's needs
I breathe, I am alive; I awaken the fire within me
Do not let your soul be deprived of its vision
Accept, awaken, enlighten
Challenge yourself
Do not look to others to challenge you
I see right through you

SOURCE:

- Follow us on Twitter! http://www.Twitter.com/TheDailyLove
- Check our our beta site! http://www.TheDailyLove.com


Regrets? Of course I have them . . . everyone does one thing or another in their life they wish would have never happened. But I choose to see those things as life's stepping stones, not regrets even if the situation didn't turn out as I had planned.

In my entire life, there isn't anything I would do over again because I would not be in this place and time in my life. Everything happens for a reason . . . even failures or those things we perceive as failures. My greatest lessons came out of what I perceive as failure.

On the other hand, I don't have those type of regrets because of something I really wanted to do and didn't do since I always try to make myself happy. Those actions have not always been successful, in fact, some were the most devastating failures of my life. However, I appreciate the lessons learned from those failures and can never go back and wonder "what if" . . . I was true to myself and what my intuition and heart wanted.

Just do it . . . whatever it is that you think will make you happy . . . don't have regrets!

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In search of peace

Are you continually struggling to
accomplish what is expected of you?

If so, stop to think for a moment:

Who holds those expectations?

In many ways, I am grateful for my dad’s strict rules and high standards . . . it made me personally strive to set goals and work hard to reach them. To this day, the satisfaction of a job well done is very important to me . . . more important than the money earned for the job, although money is a measurement of the success.

One of my former bosses was very influential in my life. He was a professor who freelanced as a management consultant/motivational speaker . . . a dynamic man who really enjoyed his life since he had a passion for his work that seamlessly flowed into his personal life.

The greatest lesson he taught me . . . you must love what you do for a living or else it is not a life that is worth living . . . you must be smiling while you work. He also taught me about appreciation.

He was an awesome boss . . . very much like my dad as far as setting high standards and expected near perfection from me, but there was a difference in his approach. Work was fun and he constantly nominated me for awards, bonuses and extra pay raises . . . there was a reward for the hard work. In turn, I expected more from myself than he did because I wanted to be worthy of those rewards that represented a job well done.

In retrospect, he and my dad expected the same high standards, but took a different approach, producing totally opposite results from me. One approach motivated me to achieve, the other approach turned me into a resentful and rebellious young lady, yet very ambitious and driven.

I’ve written about my dad before and how we never made peace . . . he was nasty to me even on his last days on earth . . . he was just a miserable man and obviously resented my presence in his life. It has taken me a long time to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong, I wasn’t a failure . . . it was my dad who miserably failed at life.

Set your own standards,
take pride in everything you do
and be true to yourself.

Don’t allow someone else to raise the bar
and make you feel like a failure.

This is what I wish I learned as a
little girl, but learned as an adult.

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