My New Normal

 It happens to me every day . . . the memories, the tears and the sadness that doesn't want to go away.  I try to dwell on happy memories, but the sadness still sneaks in.  Profound sadness.  I never wear makeup anymore, it is too messy with the tears.My doctor asked me if I want...

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Faith, Love and Time

 The Memorial Day weekend was bittersweet and difficult.Military holidays were so special for The Captain, they were a part of who he was.  I had never experienced a person who was so patriotic and so proud of his military service.  I often thought that when he retired from the military,...

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Looking back

 Caught in my fearsBlinking back the tearsI can't say you hurt meWhen you never let me nearLyrics fromLong Long Timeby Linda RonstadtToday has been a day of looking back at memories from different times of my life and all the love and close relationships I have experienced.  Some good, some...

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Simple

 Memories are the best things in life.  At this time I feel they are all I have left, although I know that is not true.  Bad grief phases make me have those awful feelings, but also make me so grateful for those great memories.I have not been able to pick myself up properly since the...

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Lessening Grief

 In the course of dealing with grief phases, I have found myself relying on memories as a comfort for the painful feelings of grief.  I'm always grateful for having had my loved ones share their life with me.  Even remembering not so great memories leads to being grateful.  Life...

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Remembering Good Times

 In this phase of grief, the recollection of awesome times are helping me honor The Captain's place in my life.  There are moments in time and then there are events that brought us so much fun and happiness.  I will write about them and relive them all over again with a smile on my face. ...

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Trigger Days

 Trigger days . . . holidays, birthdays, anniversaries of all kinds, etc. always add an extra sense of grief.  You never know how they are going to affect you until it does . . . they are sneaky like that.  They can also change from year to year.  Just like any other grief phase,...

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Joyful Melody of Life

 I've started listening to music regularly as I did in "normal times."  Music has been a part of life since I was a little girl enjoying the radio being on day and night by my family.  Songs have meaning to me as far as lyrics and bringing back memories.  It is strange how a song...

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Capture moments

Although it gets easier from one year to the next, Christmas holidays after experiencing a terrible loss in your life is not easy. For me, the memories that once caused me a great deal of grief have turned into wonderful memories of a part of my life that I am so grateful for.  I do admit...

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Here With Me

It has been a while, but I recall writing about my frying pan moments. When we experience loss in our lives, what is left are memories.  Sometimes an object with no monetary value holds a precious memory of a moment in time. "I don't want to move a thing . . . it might change my memory...

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