Who You Are Meant To Be

As I browsed through my email today, I ran across a newsletter containing the following statement that stopped me in my tracks.

"Make a sincere commitment to heal and grow and be who you were meant to be."

It really is that simple, not that it is a simple thing to achieve, just simple in theory.  

There have been times in my life, whether it is sticking to a diet, trying to quit smoking, etc., it all works with committed discipline.  It makes all the difference in the world.  

Attitude and Determination

The statement took my thoughts to "be who you were meant to be."  

Attitude itself isn't enough without a defined path to move towards.  Knowing what you really want is what would make it a simpler goal to achieve.

Resolve To Evolve

The evolution of changing the thought process that exists when everything seems to be out of touch.  It is time to adjust your thought process.  

You know that you know you are there when you are there . . . up Shit Creek without a paddle . . . or so it seems.  

Make the commitment . . . .

This too shall pass.

read more

Keep your goals on track

"You can keep your goals on track by concentrating on the facts of the here and now rather than your reactions to the past or your anxieties regarding the future. By focusing on what you need to do in the present to attain your goals, you can avoid being distracted by the unknown." 

Source:  The Daily Om

The quote is an excerpt of my horoscope for today and it can't be closer to the truth.   Self-defeating behavior distracts from focusing positively on plans for goals and ambitions.   

While it sounds like an excuse, behaviors that have become routine are subconscious and automatic . . . at least that is how I see it.

Change the behavior to remain aware, focused and positive.

read more

Burning the candle at both ends!

Have I bit off more than I can chew? 

That is a question I have been asking myself lately!  

The Captain and I have finally opened our Etsy shop, Crows Nest Jewels.

I've briefly written about my work obsession and my typical workaholic tendencies.

In my professional life in the corporate world, I burned myself out and could not go back and enjoy the work.  However, in the world of entrepreneurship, it is a totally different animal.

Honestly, I don't know when to stop and my days and nights are flying by and running into each other.  I rarely go into my personal Facebook accounts anymore and I'm really losing touch with the real world except for my obsession with keeping up with the news.  The Captain and I have truly ventured into the bohemian lifestyle of sleeping like cats . . . no set time, no real routine or sleep schedule.

Even with everything said, I am realizing that it has given me a lovely light indeed.  My last phase of feeling lost after retirement came to mind when I felt the need to write.  Obviously, that feeling is gone and I could not be happier about it.  That lost feeling is not good.

What I need to build into my work routine is "life balance" that includes doing real life things that don't include work.  While it is an awesome thing to enjoy your work like it is play, balance is also very important.

Writing this post is my first step back into my real world.  Tomorrow, my mom and I are going shopping, something we have not done in ages.  Next week, we will celebrate with family as my cousin's son gets married.  In the next two weeks, we have three appointments that will take us to MacDill Air Force Base.  The Captain has kept his balance, making time to go fishing, work in the yard and work on the hobbies that make him happy.  Hopefully, this first step will lead to a "normal" routine of life balance for me.

For now, I've been working on setting up the shop, selling my vintage jewelry collection and promoting/networking through social media.  I can't wait to start being creative with making my jewelry designs, something else I need to work into my routine.  Another obsession . . . 

"Burning the candle at both ends" has been one of my favorite sayings since I was a young adult entering the professional world.  Work for me has always been a measure of success, so I always tend to live the quote.

In the meantime, I will strive for life balance.

The origin of the saying goes back centuries!

from Figs and Thistles: First Fig By Edna St. Vincent Millay:

My candle burns at both ends;

It will not last the night;

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—

It gives a lovely light!

from Phrases.org.uk:

The saying was "first coined in the 1700s. The 'both ends' then weren't the ends of the day but were a literal reference to the two ends of a candle. Candles were useful and valuable and the notion of waste suggested by lighting both ends at once implied reckless waste. This thought may well have been accentuated by the fact that candles may only be lit at both ends when held horizontally, which would cause them to drip and burn out quickly."

read more

Life's Best Moments

You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going.  What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.

Thomas Merton

The roller coaster ride of emotions can confuse and jumble up the mind to the degree that you could be having one of life's best moments and not even realize it.  

Is it possible that there are those who are so wrapped up in their unhappy emotional state that they are ok with it?  Perhaps it is what makes them feel "normal" . . . therefore, they don't want to be happy?

Personally, I don't think so.  As a person cursed with anxiety and restlessness, I can say that the anxiety-ridden times are like walking on hot coals with no shoes on.  It is not something I enjoy and frankly, in these times, I pray for a bit of contentment to assist me in breaking out of the "bad attitude."

It is so important to surround yourself with positive, happy people.  Those who have the gift of seeing the possibilities in challenges and face them head on, laughing all the way can help you see their perspective, making the light at the end of the tunnel appear within sight by their example.  The challenge becomes a game more than the goal of the desired outcome.

We all have down times, even those positive, happy people.  The trick is to figure out how to break out of the funky mood and see the joy of the present moment.  Study your happy friends . . . something is working for them!

Discover your life's best moments, even when life isn't perfect . . .

read more

Why Not Now?

We can procrastinate for an endless list of excuses, but why not empower ourselves to change our lives for the better now.  It doesn't matter what it is! I've written about procrastination before . . . it is like a ball and chain to hold you back from doing anything and putting it off until "tomorrow" . . .

The Captain and I spoke of goals yesterday and how they are small steps, one at a time toward the goal that in itself can be overwhelming.

"If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us."

So . . . why not now?

The perceived notion of there being plenty of time for "whatever" can be deceiving since we are not promised tomorrow.

We decided that by simply moving stuff around in one room will add so much dimension to the activities we have been limited to.  Bringing functionality back to my craft desk that overlooks the garden will allow me to get back into designing jewelry that my hands have been itching to do and give myself a place of serenity where my creativity can go where it wants to go.  

That in itself is mentally healthy. Suppressing creativity and merely writing about it has not worked for me.  I want to write about projects that I am working on, not necessarily what someone else is working on, although I have been using it as motivation and inspiration to get it going again.

So . . . having said all that, I will attempt to demagnify my rear end away from the chair that sits in front of the computer . . . right now!


Quotes from Daily Om . . . this post inspired by an article entitled "Waiting for Someday" 

read more

Does money rule?

Yes it does!

This time my survival mode has to do with money.  However, The Captain and I are not alone in this struggle . . . there is so much going on in the United States, and it is not good.

"If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master."

-- Francis Bacon

In what ways does money rule your life?

Money has entered so deeply into our lives that it can become our primary reference point. We make so many of our decisions based on how they affect the bottom line. Do you compromise things you really value for money? Has the power of money hurt your relationships, your health, your work or your self-respect?

"If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life."

-- Billy Graham

How do you think of money?

"Money is a highly charged subject. And most of the emotions people feel around it are negative: fear, shame, embarrassment, anger."

-- Jerrold Mundis

How do you feel about money?

Many of us are afraid of money. With this fear, we avoid dealing honestly and completely with our financial situation. We only have a vague idea of how much money we earn and spend, and even how much we owe. By refusing to accept financial responsibility, we sacrifice our chances for a better life.

"Choosing wealth as a goal requires facing everything about your money bravely, honestly, with courage -- which is a very, very hard thing for most of us to do. But it can be done."

-- Suze Orman

Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want. 

-- Geoffrey F. Abert

Since becoming a widow, I have contemplated the role of money in my life and the difference between wants and needs.  Somehow I have always made it financially without changing my quality of life in a drastic way.

Like so many others living in the United States, our changing society and governmental rules have us concerned about our future and basic survival.

Although the country is experiencing a tremendous transformation, I still believe that prosperity is within reach for anyone who is innovative and willing to make sacrifices to get there.  That is where The Captain and I have been . . . making sacrifices now for a prosperous future.

This week finds us somewhat backed up against the wall and having to make major decisions and more sacrifices . . . not resulting from a "want," but a very important "need" that I don't think anyone can live without.  I consider this a major crisis like I have never encountered in my life and it has really made me think about the role of money in our lives, even if we live the "simple abundance life."  

Yes, I am having an extremely difficult time having any semblance of peace and serenity at the moment, but so far, I have kept it together rather well.  I pray that the current plan will work for us and be over with quickly . . . should we be that lucky.   However, luck has escaped us lately.

Current events in government have collided with our dilemma this week and the news of so much devastating news regarding basic health care has really bothered me.  Life changing decisions are being made in thousands or millions of households as we face our challenge.  Their nightmare is not going to go away soon.  Thank God Obamacare does not affect our lives . . . at least not at the moment.

Money has not ruled my life for a very long time . . . however, this latest event that most homeowners face has rudely made money a major part in the quality of our lives.  Two major events for us within a month or so has been a definite wake up call.

Whether we want to admit it or not . . . money does rule.  It is a necessary evil in my opinion.

"This too shall pass" for us . . . 

but I worry about the thousands or millions

of my fellow citizens affected by decisions our

government is making.  

How will it affect the quality of their lives?  

Where will they turn?

read more

Buried dreams or fulfilled visions?

It is important to have a vision

of what we want in life.

More important is to take action

toward getting what we want.

Do you have a dream or a vision for your life?

Do you want fulfilled visions or buried dreams?

As with any journey, you need a map to your destination and a way to get there.  Otherwise you will probably get lost or find yourself stranded along the way, burying  your dream as a result.

It is never too late to dig up those buried dreams . . . take action toward making it happen.  No matter what it is, come up with an action plan and move on it.  It takes one step at a time . . . no matter how small the steps are.

Fuel the way to get to your goal like you put gas in your vehicle to get somewhere.  Just do it . . . put your well thought-out plan into action and make your buried dream a fulfilled vision.

We only have one journey of life . . . live it the way you dream it.

read more

Make It Happen

"Some people want it to happen, 

some wish it would happen, 

others make it happen."

Michael Jordan

We all want to live our dream . . . 

but we can’t wish to achieve goals and 

get it done just because we want to. 

It is being passionate about our goals, enabling our minds to motivation and action . . . which means breaking old habits that keep the forward motion of getting things done . . . and never give up trying . . . passion breeds persistence.

One thing is certain . . . the goal must have clarity in order to plan the journey to your dream.  Just like a physical journey, knowing how to get there by using a map is often necessary.  More chances than not, you will get lost without that map . . . lost and wandering in the wilderness of the mind.

When the journey’s path is known, plan the journey, replacing those bad habits that keep you going and making the new way the standard way of operating. 

Procrastination is usually the most difficult bad habit to break . . . it is easy “know” that you will “do it tomorrow.”  This behavior of putting off tasks to a later time is merely a coping mechanism for the anxiety associated with whatever the endeavor is.

The really bad thing about procrastination is that putting something off until a later time makes it easy to continue the bad habit of putting it off.  It is a vicious cycle that must be broken, otherwise, your dream will just be a dream . . . put up in a little box in the corner of your mind.

One of the definitions of passion is being affected by something external and acted upon . . . break the habit of letting procrastination influence the passion of the dream, making incremental changes along the way. 

The journey to your dreams

 starts with one step 

of
forward motion that
leads to the next.

Love this quote ~

"You are never given a wish without being

given the power to make it true.

 You may have to work for it, however."

Richard Bach

Make it happen!

read more

Freedom and success . . . the other side of fear of failure

Fear of failure . . . despite rational thinking, education, talent and ability . . . makes the exhilaration of victory and success impossible. Fear can cause a potentially successful person to accept mediocrity . . . if you don’t take the risk, you’re guaranteed not to face failure.

The other side of that fear

is freedom and success . . .

Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”


Thoughts are powerful and fear is irrational . . . it is the thought of the fear, not the actual experience or “failure,” but the dread it inspires. Obsessive dwelling on the matter reinforces one dark thought after another until success is no longer a reality.


The weight of the dread and fear builds and grows, slowing down progress and cluttering the mind. If the fear is thought of logically, we find they have no rational basis.

Just do it . . .

Smart educated engineers laughed at Henry Ford’s dream of building automobiles, who no doubt perceived him as illiterate and ignorant since he was just an uneducated man with a dream.


Ford was "ignorant" of the fear he overcame due to of his lack of education. His dream was greater than his fear and perceived “limitations” . . . positive thoughts of his dream drove him to success.


How unfortunate would it have been if he let his fear of failure conquer him?


Success is action and bold, courageous movement toward your goals and dreams. Action dispels fear . . . giving fear the time to occupy the thought process is giving it permission to paralyze any efforts and actions, leading to ultimate failure that was feared to begin with. Fear is not rational and is a vicious cycle!


Boldly moving toward your goals a little at a time, embracing the smallest of victories along the way, can start chipping away at that bondage of fear.

Success knows no boundaries!

Understanding how these fears affect us and learning how to cope and manage ourselves in the midst of the fear is one of the most important steps to freedom from fears.


When you miss out on an opportunity due to fear, you will never get that moment back . . . then the floodgates of regrets open up to mingle with the fears.  The pity party is then on its way . . . it is a vicious cycle.


We can’t prevent bad things from happening in our lives, but we can learn how to suppress or eliminate the obsessive focus fear places on us and not live a life of mediocrity with regrets.


We only have one life . . . and we CAN control the quality of that life through our thoughts and attitude.

You can conquer almost any fear if you

will only make up your mind to do so.

For remember, fear doesn’t exist 

anywhere except in the mind. 

~Dale Carnegie~

read more

From thinking to doing

Human behavior expert Theodore Bryant, author of the book “Self-Discipline in 10 Days: How to Go from Thinking to Doing”, has conducted self-discipline courses, workshops, and seminars for over a decade. He explains that everyone is made up of different selves. Often, your different sides want to go in different directions, which causes inner conflict. While part of you wants to clean the kitchen and balance the check book, another part of you wants to grab a bag of chips and a diet coke and veg out in front of the TV.

Bryant calls the side of you that tries to sabotage your efforts to be self-disciplined, Hyde. And, yes, the part of you that wants to be self-disciplined is Dr. Jekyll. The author cautions not to think of Hyde as an enemy, but, instead, he advises that you regard Hyde as a part of you which you’ll want to recruit to help you in your efforts to achieve your goals, resolutions, and objectives.

Here are some of the strategies you can use to overcome the resistance which Hyde will put up whenever you try to take action toward achieving your goals:


Excuses and Action Oriented Self-Talk

Whenever you hear yourself coming up with an excuse as to why you can’t take the steps necessary in order to accomplish a goal you’ve set for yourself, remind yourself that it’s just a tactic being used by Hyde to avoid doing the work. In order to counteract Hyde’s negativism, use action oriented self-talk.

Action oriented self-talk is positive, specific, and present tense. Suppose you tell yourself that you’re going to spend the next two hours organizing your closet. However, you get distracted by other things and, two hours later, you haven’t accomplished anything productive. What happened? Hyde started working on your subconscious to get you to do anything but clean your closet. What you need to do is replace Hyde’s self-defeating subconscious messages with positive, specific, present tense messages.

Once you make the decision to organize your closet, begin saying the following out loud: “I am now organizing my closet.” When you do this, the subconscious mind will turn all of its attention to organizing the closet, regardless of what you may actually be doing at the time. Your subconscious mind will begin sending messages to your motor functions, emotions, and other members of your physical and psychological network that will be in line with organizing your closet. In addition, it will begin to look for ways to organize your closet.

Here’s an example used by Bryant: You’re sitting in your favorite chair reading a magazine. Part of you begins to think that your time could be used more productively by working on that eBook you’ve been meaning to write. However, Hyde begins to say: “I’m reading a magazine.” Therefore, your subconscious turns all of its resources toward reading the magazine. At this point, Dr. Jekyll needs to say: “I’m working on my eBook.” Now, your subconscious will begin to point its resources toward working on your eBook:

* You’ll begin to feel agitated as you sit there leafing through the magazine.
* You’ll start getting ideas for things to include in your eBook.
* You’ll feel like getting up, sitting at your desk, turning on your computer, and getting to work on your eBook.
* As long as you keep repeating your positive, specific, present tense message, you’ll feel compelled to work on your eBook. Repetition is the key to success.
* If you say it out loud, it will be even more powerful than simply repeating it silently.


Hyde might try to convince you that you will take action to achieve your goals; you’ll just do it later. After all, if you want to start exercising you’ll need a new jogging outfit. You can’t possibly be seen in any of the old work out pants and ratty t-shirts you have in your closet. And in order to buy new exercise clothes, you first have to pay off your credit card balance in full. After all, getting out of debt is another one of your goals. So, you see, exercising is not something you can do at the moment. But you’ll do it later. (Hyde is quite devious.)

The tactic to use here is to question whether there’s a legitimate reason to delay getting started, or if it sounds suspiciously like one of Hyde’s clever excuses. Remember, Hyde is like a little kid who will come up with all sorts of ruses to avoid his parents’ orders to clean his room. It’s perfectly fine for you to exercise in the clothes you already have; the perceived obstacle of needing a new jogging suit is just Hyde trying to trick you into spending an hour surfing the Internet instead of exercising.


Fear of Failure

Bryant points out that study after study has shown that the greatest obstacle to personal success is fear of failure. The pain of past failures lingers in the shadows of your subconscious, reminding you of how awful you felt the last time you failed. Why would you want to set yourself up to feeling like that again by pursuing a new goal? Just sit back and enjoy your TV show. Go ahead, put your feet up on the coffee table. You could even grab that pint of Rocky Road ice cream you have in the freezer. That feels nice and safe, doesn’t it?

We’ve been trained by society that failing is shameful. Is it any mystery, then, that we’re so reluctant to attempt anything at which we can’t be sure of succeeding? When part of us wants to do something, and part of us is dragging its feet because it’s terrified of failing, it’s like trying to drive a car with the handbrake on. In order to succeed at achieving your goals, you have to fully invest yourself in the task at hand.

The trick here is to separate your performance on a given task from how you feel about yourself. You probably have a tendency to say to yourself: “If I fail at this, I’m a failure.” You need to begin regarding failure as evidence of experimentation and attempts at self-growth, instead of seeing it as a blow to your self-esteem. Refuse to link failure to how you feel about yourself. As Bryant points out, failure is not a tombstone, but a stepping stone to success.


Conclusion

You’ve known for a while that you have a Hyde lurking around in your subconscious, haven’t you? After all, how many times have you made goals and resolutions with the best of intentions to follow through, only to find that you never get started, or that you leave things half-finished? Bryant offers many more clues in “Self-Discipline in 10 Days” on how to recognize Hyde’s attempts at sabotaging your efforts, and what to do about it.

What types of things have you caught Hyde doing to try and prevent you from getting things done, or to stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to accomplish your dreams?


This article is a reprint from one of my favorite blogs . . .

http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com/

read more