Facing problems

Facing Problems

Running Away Versus Moving Forward

Source: The Daily OM

There are times when change—moving to a new city or a new home, or changing careers—is the right thing at the right time. But there are also times when the urge for change is really just a desire to run away from problems that need to be faced rather than avoided. These are the kinds of problems that recur in our lives. For example, issues with coworkers that seem to arise at every job we take, or repeatedly getting into unhealthy relationships. A move might temporarily distract us, and even cure the problem for a time, simply by taking us out of the situation in which the problem fully manifested itself. 

However, the problem will eventually appear again in our new situation.


One way to make sure you aren’t running away from your problems is to notice whether you are moving towards something that is exciting in its own right, as opposed to something that is appealing only because it is not where you are now. For example, if you are leaving a city because you feel you can’t afford it, you could be reinforcing poverty consciousness, and you might find that you are unable to make ends meet in your new city as well. It would ultimately be less of an effort to stay where you are and look more deeply into your beliefs about money. You may discover that as you address these issues, you are able to make more money simply by changing your mindset. You may still decide to move, but it will be an act with a positive intention behind it and not an escape, which could make all the difference.

Any pain involved in facing our issues is well worth the effort in the end. When we face our problems instead of avoiding them, we free our energy and transform ourselves from people who run away into people who move enthusiastically forward.

It is all about fear.

Fear keeps our present situation alive, no matter how awful or how much we desire to make the change.  It is easier to sweep it under the rug and just run away from whatever it is.  Been there, done that!

Doesn't fear produce negative thinking?

Just a change in our mindset to one of a positive nature can make the changes possible.  Most of the time, it takes small steps, depending on the fear.

If you are stuck in an emotional rut, perhaps it is time to assess your situation, define your goals and break down the necessary steps to make it happen.

Write them down!  Start a journal to track your progress.  The motivation to keep going is greater when I periodically go back and see how far I have come with my fears.

One of the most important questions to ask yourself . . .

Why am I scared?

Be honest with yourself!

read more

Anxiety and life phases

~ I'm Fine | Heart ~


It has occurred to me today that life is just a cycle of phases, some good, some bad, all contributing to the person we are today.  Of course each time we tend to feel as though we are losing it, like in my featured song by Heart.

Since we are entering Week #4 of no running water, I needed to read old posts and remind myself of where I have been and the anxiety associated with it. I always tell myself "this too shall pass" . . . and it does!

Anxiety comes in different phases, usually dependent on what the current life circumstances are.

I have selected two phases of my life to write about.

The first post found me entering an exciting new chapter in my life after successfully completing training for the job I knew was made for me.  I remember being so happy, although the disappointment of the job as it really was and the attitude of "corporate America" toward its employees ultimately took me through another time of anxiety and the feeling of failure.

The positive aspects of this experience was the feeling of accomplishment for finally getting out of the house, going after that job I wanted so badly and successfully completing some emotionally draining training.  Even though the job didn't work out, no one would have ever suspected I had previously been so apprehensive about leaving my comfort zone and shutting myself out of society for so many years.

Today I am so very grateful that I don't have to face "corporate America" again . . . I can say with certainty that those days are over. 

Notice a theme here?

The last post found me at a time of high anxiety as I had quit smoking and thought I had a grip on it . . . at the same time I decided I no longer needed my anxiety medication and was weaning myself off.  Big mistake!  The attempt of quitting smoking is a high anxiety endeavor anyway . . . not a time to get off of anxiety medication.  My doctor was very angry with me and convinced me to start taking them again.

The lesson I learned is taking medication for a legitimate problem is nothing to be ashamed of.  The shame is to not do anything about a problem that exists.

Many of us are afflicted with high anxiety for whatever reason.  Don't be afraid of medication . . . it is necessary when problems arise so you can deal with them with a clear head and attitude.  Mine has never gone away, I can just deal with it more effectively now.  Life challenges happen and you must be prepared for them.


This post was originally published on March 8, 2008

A new chapter in my life has begun. A time that I thought would never come, although I just took one day at a time and tried to deal with each one as best as I could. Every time I take out my certification for successfully completing training for a job that I set in my mind over two years ago, I am so grateful for the strength that God gave me to make it through those bad times and gave me enough faith in myself to go for it and make it through the training that I almost walked out of several times.

Positive attitude and faith in ourselves and our creator goes a long way and through times we think we can't get through. We can go through life in a bad mood and an awful attitude, resulting in a miserable existence. I've been through all the phases.

It was especially rough when I made the decision that I needed to quit smoking if I was going to join the real world and get a real job since the realization hit me that selling "whatever" on eBay was no longer going to provide the comfortable life that I had grown accustomed to. In retrospect I think it was divine intervention to finally get me out of my house. God works in mysterious ways to teach us lessons and make us stronger.

As I get ready for the new chapter of my life with a new career and the contentment, peace of mind and security I was searching for, I started my one day off with my first cup of coffee reading some of my old posts so I can truly savor this moment and appreciate the emotions of accomplishment.

The following post was written as I was well into my endeavor of quitting smoking . . . the "no smoking weight gain" was starting to creep up on me . . . it was just a bad time that gives me so much appreciation for the changes I have made in my life.

There was always hope for me even though I didn't always think so . . . there is also hope for anyone going through a bad time, no matter what the circumstance . . . with faith and a positive attitude.

This post was originally published on December 11, 2006

Not asking for much . . . not even happiness at the moment since that seems like an impossible dream, just CONTENTMENT and peace of mind would be great.

The past couple of days have been awful . . . I am convinced it is withdrawals from quitting smoking and/or getting off my medication. Feelings of restlessness and anxiety have consumed me and just about everything is making me irritable. The cravings to smoke a cigarette are virtually gone, although they do hit me when I least expect it, but pass quickly.

I had done some research on withdrawal from my medication and the good news is that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as I expected them to be based on my research. I always took way less than prescribed because I hate being dependent on anything and was so scared of becoming addicted to them. Today I am thankful that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as they could be even though I am ready to climb the walls from this anxiety.

My state of anxiety is all about my life's general frustrations and irritations.

I'm still dealing with no hot water and having to boil water for everything. The repair people will finally be here tomorrow and hopefully it will be fixed.

The one thing that is really irritating me is the weight that I have gained as a result of not smoking anymore. I am not doing anything different, although I am hungry all the time. The weight gain came fast and has really made me sad since I have worked so hard to take it off. Now I have to work doubly hard to get that under control. I just spent 1/2 hour on the exercise bike to get rid of anxiety and hopefully keep the weight gain from continuing. 

This is the story of my life . . . something positive always brings the negative to bring me down. I can't win!

I'm off to experience the one thing that always makes me happy and content . . . my first cup of coffee for the day. I'll also have to check out my music collection and find some happy music. Those two things will instantly put me in a better state of mind.

This is going to be an awesome week in spite of all of this . . . I'm determined!

read more

An abundance of enthusiasm

What do you do with your worries, problems, fears . . . and an abundance of enthusiasm?

For the past two nights I have not been able to sleep because of worries, problems and fears crammed into my thoughts that don’t want to shut down, holding on to every little detail of every concern and project that I have going on that I am way too excited about. My poor brain is on overload!

Sleep problems run in cycles for me and I know the major problem is the lack of a routine and way too much enthusiasm . . . have I mentioned that I’ve always been a workaholic?

As time goes on I am learning to let things go that are out of my control, pray about it and release it, like putting it in a little box that sits high up on a shelf in my closet that I can’t see. However, if I have control over the thing . . . I will make myself crazy over it.

The other day I wrote an article on the race of life and how we need to slow down and enjoy life. However, it occurs to me that a person with workaholic tendencies can’t slow down because they are enjoying what they do a little too much . . . at least I do.

Still . . . I’m grateful for way too much enthusiasm . . . the alternative is giving up in a time that I can’t find a real job.

How do you find balance in your life? What works for you?

read more

Humorous absurdities

All those little humorous absurdities that give us a laugh are a very important ingredient in maintaining peace and happiness.

Not only is laughter an excellent stress reliever in times of high anxiety, it also helps to strengthen the immune system which is so vital to general good health and well being.

It isn’t merely being humorous, as in telling, listening and laughing at jokes . . . it is the ability to see the humor in little things that occur on a daily basis, even if those little things are frustrating and get on our nerves. Laugh about the absurdity of it and attempt to change your perspective of the thing, especially if it is a necessary part of your life . . . like someone at work who really gets on your nerves or a problem that keeps reoccurring.

Rather than get all worked up and stressed out over my present life circumstances, I’ve come up with the plan and now find the humor of it all. One of my favorite sayings is so appropriate for what I’ve been going through lately . . . “I’m up to my a$$ in alligators and they are snapping!”

I’ve done my share of crying and it is better to laugh . . . the outcome is the same and I truly believe that God has it under control. If you are having a rough time of life circumstances, maybe I have inspired you to laugh . . . there is a little humor in everything if you look for it.

read more