Trust and Truth

 

Truth never damages a cause that is just.

Mahatma Gandhi

How can you trust without honest and open dialogue about concerns?

It is a delicate balance.  But for me, it is impossible.

As masters of our own destinies, the choices we make should be on a solid foundation.  When there is doubt and the little voice in your head sends warning signals, the doubt must be addressed.  Otherwise, everything from that point on is sitting on shaky ground and those concerns and doubts will live on forever.

When an opportunity presents itself, we must decide whether to be true to ourselves and open our eyes to discover a blessing or a curse.

Better to be safe than sorry.

All this has brought one of my favorite songs to mind - Detective|No Doubt.  The lyrics are like that little voice in my head . . . intuition is a good thing!

Detective|No Doubt

Lyrics

Peek in, sneak about
Peek in, sneak about
Peek in, sneak about
Your broken hearted detective

Hey girl, save the liar
Can't you see his pants on fire?
Hey girl, save the liar
Can't you see his pants on fire?

My back it hurts again
It aches like history
Cottonmouth and all lit up
You're smiling back at me
But I feel you must have failed me
Once again, you've let me down
My confidence below my knees now
I need to find you out

Peek in, sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out
I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective
(Hey, hey, hey)

Hey lover, why the gun?
Hold on, I'm almost there
It's too late, you killed the trust
Don't act so unaware
So why are you so destructive?
Do you realize what you've done?
You can't bring it back to life now
What are you running from?

Peek in, sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out
I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective

I don't like the way I feel
I just want you to be real

Hey girl, save the liar
Can't you see his pants on fire?
Hey girl, save the liar
Can't you see his pants on fire?
I'm rummaging through your closet
Imagining all the worst thoughts

Peek in, sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out
I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective
Peek in, sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out
I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective
Peek in
Peek in
Peek in
Peek in
Peek in, sneak about
I'm gonna snoop and call you out
I caught you, your hands are red
Now I'm your broken hearted detective

Writer(s): Gwen Stefani, Thomas Dumont, Tony Kanal

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Destiny and options

"When you remember that you have many options, 

you will remember that you are in charge of your life."

The Daily Om

Knowing that YOU have control of the choices you make in your life helps to focus on solving those challenges we face.  The lack of that understanding contributes to feeling anxiety as it relates to your future.

Letting go of those worries with optimistic thoughts will use your energy to move forward rather than standing still and not meeting the challenge.

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Shedding Light On Ourselves

When we choose that which is not best for us, there can be a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal.

In almost every case, we know what is best for us in our lives, from the relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat mysteriously, it is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We find ourselves hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained or choosing to eat fast food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop doing yoga or taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do. Often we have no idea why we continue to make the less enlightened choice, but it is important that we inquire into ourselves to find out.

When we choose that which is not best for us, the truth can be that there is a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal. We may say it’s because we don’t have the time or the energy or the resources, but the real truth is that when we don’t take care of ourselves we are falling prey to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously, which is why it’s so difficult to see that we are doing it. The important thing to realize is that this very part of us that resists our healing is the part that most needs our attention and love. Even as it appears to be working against us, if we can simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it can become our greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the next level in our healing process.

When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say out loud, “I am not taking care of myself.” Sometimes this is the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with us into the light.

Source:  Daily Om

From my experience, the best or healthiest choices are not always the most tasty or fun.  I'd much rather eat a delicious piece of chocolate cake instead of a carrot for a snack.

I see the better choices as a mindset.

My passion is food, so it is not always easy for me to eat and cook healthy meals.  Of course I know that I can learn how to cook healthy meals that are delicious, but I don't until I change my train of thought and make a conscious effort to be more healthy in general.

In the healing process, I have learned how to do things in small bites . . . incremental changes.  Before I quit smoking after JR died, I made a conscious effort to adopt a healthier lifestyle since I had a considerable amount of weight to lose.  JR died of a heart attack and that put the fear of death in me.

Rather than go on a "diet" I set out to change my lifestyle.  Within a year, I had lost 100 pounds, even enjoying holiday meals at Thanksgiving and Christmas. The difference was that I enjoyed those things I knew were not the healthiest thing for me to eat in moderation.  A bite of this and a bite of that.  Just a bite to get a taste of it.

Little by little I made small changes that made a huge impact.  Being addicted to Pepsi, I could not step down to Diet Pepsi and I knew it.  I would fail and go back to drinking Pepsi.  So I started drinking water and learned to love it.

Think of any change that needs to be changed as a lifestyle change.  It is all part of the self-talk that is important in changing our mindset and leading ourselves into a different direction that is not comfortable or easy.

Now I need to put my words into action.  Ultimately I quit smoking for two years and put on some weight.  Then I met The Captain who was a smoker and I started smoking again.

It is never to late to start over again!

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Stop Me

An old love from the past had come back into my life.  It was an unresolved issue that haunted me most of my adult life.  He had joined the military and never came back . . . well, not until many years after I became a widow.  We had a second chance for a future together when he came back into my life through Classmates.com after all those years.  

To make a long story short . . . 
I walked away after determining that we were never meant to be.  

Although I was heartbroken, my wise decision brought the closure and resolution to one of the biggest heartaches of my youth.  At the time, I didn't see my decision as one of the greatest blessings of my life.

The irony of life and holding on to hope and faith . . .

One door closes and another opens! 

The Captain came into my life shortly after my decision to just walk away from what I determined was not my destiny and I wrote the following post.  There were no expectations, The Captain and I developed an awesome friendship that eventually turned into love and forever.

I'm grateful that no one tried to STOP ME!

This post was originally  published on 2/24/09

I have always held firmly to the thought
that each one of us can do a little to
bring some portion of misery to an end.

(Albert Schweitzer)

Isn't that the truth?
Don't we sometimes perpetuate our own misery?

I've caught myself midstream into a pity party and have finally been able to pick myself up in the midst of getting to that miserable place. It is an example of what we can learn to do in order to stop that vicious cycle of misery and finally bring it to an end.

Slaying the dragon . . .
it has been one of my biggest demons

In light of recent developments in my life that seems to be another vicious cycle . . . circumstances that make me deliriously happy and feeling as though I'm walking on clouds only to make my ascent from the heavenly clouds abrupt and painful. The disappointments keep happening.

Do I turn off that part of me that thoroughly enjoys expectations of happiness after such a long period of grief and misery? Every time I'm disappointed I go back and readdress expectations in my life. Next time I am going on about how happy I am . . . STOP ME . . . it is like the kiss of death.

Must I turn off that part of me that feels joy because romantic history continues to repeat itself and I always end up more unhappy than before the joy happened? Next time I am going on about feeling joy . . . STOP ME . . . it is like the kiss of death.

I'm learning to forget about great expectations . . . and to me, that is so very sad . . . it is part of the beauty and allure of the quest for love and romance . . . and so much a part of who I am.

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Riding the merry-go-round

The carousel horse is stuck, bobbing up and down in a cycle of co-dependence. You waved frantically the first time, but after recycling regret multiple times, it’s time to get off the whirligig of wasted time. Bolt like a carousel horse gaining its freedom. Break the cycle and live like the free person you are.

Photo and Quote Source:  Soulseeds

The image of the carousel horses gaining their freedom immediately took me to the John Lennon song, Watching The Wheels.

"No longer riding on the merry-go-round 

. . . I just had to let it go."

There are times in life when we feel stuck in a rut . . . I've referred to the merry-go-round and the roller coaster that never stops many times.  Don't we all go through that at one time or another?

Sometimes it means painful changes, doing what you have to do to remain true to yourself . . . good or bad, depending on how you look at it.

I've done it many times in my life.  The latest was leaving a job that I loved so much, but it was the best thing for me.

For John Lennon, it meant leaving The Beatles and embarking on a solo career. We mourned the breakup of The Beatles, for the fans, it was a bad thing. However, it was the best thing for John Lennon personally . . . for whatever reason(s).

In retrospect, after getting off the merry-go-round, he was able to live the rest of his short life the way he wanted to.

We do have choices in life . . . problems have solutions!  Be true to yourself!

Can you relate to being stuck

 on the merry-go-round?

Watching the Wheels | Lyrics Words and Music by John Lennon
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game 

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball 

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go 

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry
I'm just sitting here doing time 

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go 

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Appreciation of the bumpy road

 Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. 

 (Groucho Marx)

Life is precious . . . it is short . . . 

every second counts and ticks down the ones that are left.  

When you realize how important every moment truly is, the quote from Groucho Marx makes so much sense.

Sometimes it takes a bumpy road to get to that place of understanding.  

I'm grateful for all the bumpy roads I have faced in my life, although many of those roads left me feeling scared like things would never be right in my life again.  But they were . . . it is what was meant to be.

Embrace the hardships of life, they can make us appreciate

everything good that follows.

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Faith and the darkness of the unknown

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know

and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown.

Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen.

There will be solid ground to stand on or

you will be taught to fly."

Author unknown

Life and society as we know it has been changing and in transition . . . the economy, the political scene and unemployment that has run out of control.  Each decision we make is just a part of the cycle of cause and effect, approaching the decision-making process having the faith and knowledge that there are always possibilities and choices available empowers the process of exploring what is most beneficial for each of us as individuals.  

The optimum word is faith.

In the darkness of the unknown, there is one thing that remains constant . . . if we are not happy with present life circumstances and the choices made, we have the power to make different choices.  There are always choices . . . take the time to consider those options and ponder the possible outcomes with heightened awareness rather than make rash decisions based on emotion.

Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, 

then counting your blessings before they hatch.

  ~Ramona C. Carroll

Faith has never let me down . . . fears do.

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Choices

"Life is as we have it.
With will power, we can change its course.
Life is a series of choices.
The thoughts that we have any time are own choices.
No one can enter into our mind and
make us think in a particular way.
Similarly, our feelings are our own choice.
Whether a person is depressed or happy is his choice.
After all, life is nothing but our own
thoughts, feelings and actions."


Be true to yourself in your life choices!

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