Don't Give Up

 

Today has been one of the worse days in a while for many reasons that I don't need to get into for the purpose of this post.

I was blessed with a healthy dose of self-confidence and one thing I know for sure, I am a strong person and I know I'm going to get through this.  My motto . . . this too shall pass.

Glad to be alive?  Not necessarily.  My future is up in the air, I've retired, don't have a definitive purpose and I feel somewhat lost.  I often ask myself  . . . what am I living for?   But I know I am still healing from The Captain's death and my purpose will be revealed at the right time.  

Thank God I'm not lonely, enjoy being alone and don't have aspirations of finding love again (or do I?) . . . I really don't want to deal with disappointment any more than I have to, but I will never say never from this moment on.  The main moving on is improving my life and being happy with my choices.

The good news is my depression is under control and I know I am on the correct path for me.

As a Christian, I have always prayed for God's will.  When I found this graphic on Facebook, I saw it as an answer to recent prayers and part of the answer is to not give up.  

I won't . . . and I am taking one day at a time.

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Encourage Yourself

Treating yourself with the same gentleness

and respect you afford others can give

you the strength to accomplish what 

you want in life.

Feelings of unworthiness could negatively affect your self-confidence and cause you to judge yourself harshly. 

Giving yourself the same kind of encouragement you would give others can make you feel more confident and give you the strength to keep striving for success. When you treat yourself with respect and encouragement, you will find that all you desire becomes easier to reach.

Source:  Daily Om

The above was part of my horoscope for today.

It has been a rough week and I have beat myself up pretty badly.  My thoughts have been self-defeating and negative.  The taunting of my dad telling me how unworthy I am keeps creeping into my thoughts and won't go away.  I needed this message today!

Encouragement is my word of the day and I am so glad this message popped up for me today.  It is time to respect myself and give myself credit for everything positive and do those things that bring me joy because I deserve it.

Time to lose the negativity!

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The Encouragement of Love

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott

There are times that a strong faith in God or the guidance and encouragement from those we love and look up to make all the difference in the world. Some are lucky enough to have both.

God's love and guidance is available to everyone.  Hopefully we all have those who love and encourage us when we need it.

Do you sometimes have the vision but lack the motivation to reach your highest aspirations?  Do you reach out to those you love in these times?  Do you trust enough to follow where they may lead you?

It all starts with the first rung of the ladder and progresses toward the top at its own pace.  There are times when trying to reach the top in the first step will lead you nowhere . . . it is impossible, or so it seems.  Isn't it the purpose of a ladder, to take one step at a time?

It is faith and trust that leads us to that first step.

The following is an excerpt from a Daily Om article that speaks of trusting in those we love to help us make that first step, or the second, or third.

"The love of important people in our lives can serve as a secure foundation for our outer-world endeavors because knowing that we are cared for grants us a higher degree of self-confidence than we might otherwise have known. 

We can courageously take risks and embark upon endeavors that take us outside of our comfort zones because we know that we can retreat into the affectionate embrace of the important people in our lives if anything should go wrong. Likewise, simply knowing that these individuals believe that we are capable of achieving great feats of emotional and intellectual fortitude provides us with much of the strength we need to prevail over adversity.

You will feel the weighty comfort of the tenderness of those who love you today, and the security this comfort affords you will help you grow as an individual."

Source: Daily Om

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If I Had Wings

Since my leg is not cooperating with me and I can barely walk, I've had lots of time in the past two days to read through my old blogs and journals and amaze myself with how far I've come through the journey of turbulence in my life that nearly destroyed me.

The following post is actually two older posts originally written during different times in 2007 . . . negative, yet positive.

Many of these older posts are from my personal journals, but I post them to help others who may be going through a rough time in life. It does get better if that is what you truly desire. You are the only one who can help yourself.

I finally have my wings . . .



Originally written on
December 12, 2007

If you give me wings,

then I know I could fly,

If you give me truth,

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies

I’ll cruise through the blue of your sky

I will be free


lyrics from the song
I Will Be Free ~ Sandrine

It started yesterday and has intensified today . . . these bad feelings.

The holidays get me down every year since JR has been gone. I refer to the holidays as the lonely season now . . . I could be in a room full of people and feel more alone than if I am alone with my memories. It is an empty existence in a time that is supposed to be festive with no one special to share it with, even though every year I promise myself it is the year that I will change my attitude. Like everything else, it is a mindset, but most of us have been so steeped in tradition and the way "things are supposed to be" that when they are not, we feel like less of a person for some reason. At least I do. I just know that for another year, I'll feel better when that ball drops on New Years Eve when the proverbial slate is clean and the holidays are over.

In this not so happy time for me, I needed to post something positive
that will perhaps lift my spirits and give myself an attitude adjustment.

Originally posted to my personal blog
on October 17, 2007

There must be something in the air . . . so many of my friends are feeling down. Sometimes we have to play little tricks with our minds to pick ourselves back up and keep going. It is easier said than done and sometimes my booty hurts from falling so many times that I feel I should just stay down . . . why bother I ask myself so many times before picking myself up again . . . because I know better.

Why bother? Because we are all worth it. Look in the mirror and see the beautiful person staring back at you. If you don't like the reflection looking back at you, do something to change it to where you love it.

Music is one of my tricks to pick myself back up. This song has been so much of an inspiration to me. It reminds me of the talks I have with God, trying to make deals with him if he makes this or that happen. lol We all know it doesn't work that way, but we can make the request, can't we?

"If you give me truth, then I swear I won't tell you no lies" . . . such profound lyrics that I interpret as being finding yourself and being true to yourself . . . to me, that is what it is all about. Anything else is selling yourself short and it is not about being selfish. It is giving yourself the permission to care for yourself as much as you care for everyone else who pulls you in every direction until you feel you are backed into a corner that you can't get out of.

While I've had this amazing change of positive vibes that has lasted longer than usual on this roller coaster ride of my life, out of nowhere came waves of enormous sadness. I cried my eyes out, feeling so lonely, missing my love so much and wanting him to come back to me . . . so I wrote about it in my love blog, played a sad song and allowed myself to cry, I asked God to please give me peace, I wrote my grateful journal, made myself a cup of hot raspberry tea after a hot shower, gave myself a facial, painted my nails . . . and the sad time passed before I went to sleep.

I'm finding my ways to get past those moments because I can't let them linger . . . they will take over and that is when I get to that place, having fallen down and not wanting to get back up. I have to, no one is going to do it for me. The longer I stay down, the more difficult it is to get up.

I sincerely hope that something I said this morning
helps someone make it through the day a little easier.


The game of life

It is the only one we have.

Make it count with

peace, love and happiness.


Get your wings and have a beautiful day!

Lyrics


please give me patience to learn

please give me bridges to burn

don’t ask a thing in return

my courage is gone



don’t put your weight on me now

I’m trying to stand strong

but I’ve lost it somehow

the eagerness to get around

my courage is gone



Lord there must be a way

to get through this day



If you give me wings

then I know I could fly

If you give me truth

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies

I’ll cruise through the blue of your sky

I will be free



my vision has been compromised

awaring of these crying eyes

I’m praying for some peace of mind

my courage is gone

you said that there would be a way

to get through this day



If you give me wings

then I know I could fly

If you give me truth

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies

I’ll cruise through the blue of your sky

I will be free



I’ll be hiding no more

from your love like before

I’ll be bold I’ll be brave

I’ll be strong I’ll be safe

If you show me the way



If you give me wings

then I know I could fly

If you give me truth

then I swear I won’t tell you no lies (2x)

I’ll cruise to the blue of your sky

I will be free



I will finally be free

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