Caught in my fears
Blinking back the tears
I can't say you hurt me
When you never let me near
Lyrics from
Long Long Time
by Linda Ronstadt
Today has been a day of looking back at memories from different times of my life and all the love and close relationships I have experienced. Some good, some bad . . . just like everyone else.
The most frustrating were the ones I didn't understand, but allowed myself to love anyway and sometimes got hurt. Some people never let you in, no matter how close you think you are. Still, I have no regrets.
Those lyrics are somewhat contradictory, yet they ring true.
I no longer have fears of close relationships because I am done with them. My experiences with trust issues have crammed my lifetime. I want the rest of my life to be content with what I have and the awesome memories that occupy my mind.
As times goes on, it seems to me that people in general have turned so cold, heartless, lacking compassion . . . I include myself in that statement. I'd rather spend the time I have left alone with God to keep me company.
Life wasn't always that way and it makes me sad. I only see glimpses of the world I once knew.
