Moving through Darkness

I'm living proof of
moving through darkness
described in this article!

Often it takes something major to wake us up,
to shake us loose from our ego’s grip as it
struggles to maintain an illusion of control.

In life, most of us want things to go to the places we have envisioned ourselves going. We have plans and visions, some of them divinely inspired, that we want to see through to completion. We want to be happy, successful, and healthy, all of which are perfectly natural and perfectly human. So when life takes us to places we didn’t consciously want to go, we often feel as if something has gone wrong, or we must have made a mistake somewhere along the line, or any number of other disheartening possibilities. This is just life’s way of taking us to a place we need to go for reasons that go deeper than our own ability to reason. These hard knocks and trials are designed to shed light on our unconscious workings and deepen our experience of reality.

Often it takes something major to wake us up, to shake us loose from our ego’s grip as it struggles to maintain an illusion of control. It is loss of control more than anything else that humbles us and enables us to see the big picture. It reminds us that the key to the universe lies in what we do not know, and what we do know is a small fraction of the great mystery in which we live. This awareness softens and lightens us, as we release our resistance to what is. Another gift gleaned from going to these seemingly undesirable places is that, in our response to difficulty, we can see all the patterns and unresolved emotional baggage that stand in the way of our unconditional joyfulness. Joy exists within us independently of whether things go our way or not. And when we don’t feel it, we can trust that we will find it if we are willing to surrender to the situation, moving through it as we move through our difficult feelings.

We can take our inspiration from any fairy tale that finds its central character lost in a dark wood, frightened and alone. We know that the journey through the wood provides its own kind of beauty and richness. On the other side, we will emerge transformed, lighter and brighter, braver and more confident for having moved through that darkness.

Source: Daily Om

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Life's tests

"What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one 'dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon. Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested."

Paulo Coelho, from his best-selling book The Alchemist

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In search of peace

Are you continually struggling to
accomplish what is expected of you?

If so, stop to think for a moment:

Who holds those expectations?

In many ways, I am grateful for my dad’s strict rules and high standards . . . it made me personally strive to set goals and work hard to reach them. To this day, the satisfaction of a job well done is very important to me . . . more important than the money earned for the job, although money is a measurement of the success.

One of my former bosses was very influential in my life. He was a professor who freelanced as a management consultant/motivational speaker . . . a dynamic man who really enjoyed his life since he had a passion for his work that seamlessly flowed into his personal life.

The greatest lesson he taught me . . . you must love what you do for a living or else it is not a life that is worth living . . . you must be smiling while you work. He also taught me about appreciation.

He was an awesome boss . . . very much like my dad as far as setting high standards and expected near perfection from me, but there was a difference in his approach. Work was fun and he constantly nominated me for awards, bonuses and extra pay raises . . . there was a reward for the hard work. In turn, I expected more from myself than he did because I wanted to be worthy of those rewards that represented a job well done.

In retrospect, he and my dad expected the same high standards, but took a different approach, producing totally opposite results from me. One approach motivated me to achieve, the other approach turned me into a resentful and rebellious young lady, yet very ambitious and driven.

I’ve written about my dad before and how we never made peace . . . he was nasty to me even on his last days on earth . . . he was just a miserable man and obviously resented my presence in his life. It has taken me a long time to realize that I didn’t do anything wrong, I wasn’t a failure . . . it was my dad who miserably failed at life.

Set your own standards,
take pride in everything you do
and be true to yourself.

Don’t allow someone else to raise the bar
and make you feel like a failure.

This is what I wish I learned as a
little girl, but learned as an adult.

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Don't look back in anger

Anger could be defined as an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. The degree of that intensity depends on our ability to control the anger. We can take those intense emotions and use them in a positive or negative way, learn from it and use it as one of life’s lessons.

You may ask how could you possibly use an irritating rage positively? At this time in my life after suffering one heartbreak after another, you would think that my anger would have the best of me, but it doesn’t. I will agree I am angry at first, but I am learning how to control my anger and keep moving. I’ll admit that I would be very happy if my life was settled, but it is not, so I need to get over it and anticipate my future with much excitement and anticipation . . . and make things happen for myself.

After experiencing the unexpected death of my young husband and subsequently, the death of my happy marriage, I’ve learned that no one dies for anyone. I thought I had “happy ever after” conquered in my life and that I’d never have to worry about that again. Wrong . . . my destiny was not written that way. No amount of rage or anger was going to change the outcome.

Life keeps going and the negative emotional effects of anger slows the process of moving on. Same for a broken heart . . . different circumstances, same anger that needs to be controlled . . . doesn’t matter who or what the anger is directed at, whether it be God or a person who hurt you.

I’ve felt different levels of anger throughout my lifetime and each time it has taught me something about life in general. This time is no different. Anger is anger, hurt is hurt . . . a lesson is a lesson . . . learn from it and move away from the anger as fast as you can. The hurt remains, but the anger can be controlled.

To my friends going through the rough time . . . “slip inside the eye of your mind” . . . pick yourself up, know that you are a beautiful person inside and out in your unique little ways that is going to make someone crazy good and it is going to happen so fast you are not gonna know what hit you.

In the meantime . . . don’t look back in anger . . . nothing is worth giving yourself bad feelings, taking precious moments of your life and being sad instead of being happy. You only hurt yourself! This is the important lesson I’ve learned about anger, rage and being able to control it better . . . and realizing that I can’t control destiny . . . que sera sera, what will be, will be anyway . . .

Lyrics

Don’t Look Back in Anger | Oasis

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don’t you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you’d once never been
All the things that you’ve seen
Will slowly fade away

So I’ll start the revolution from my bed
Cos you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside the summertime’s in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain’t ever gonna burn my heart out

So Sally can wait, she knows its too late as we’re walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger I hear you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it’s night or day
Please don’t put your life in the hands
Of a Rock n Roll band
Who’ll throw it all away

So I’ll start the revolution from my bed
Cos you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside the summertime’s in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain’t ever gonna burn my heart out

So Sally can wait, she knows its too late as we’re walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger I hear you say

Don’t look back in anger
Don’t look back in anger
Don’t look back in anger
At least not today

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