The destructive behavior of the doom and gloom mentality

In my journey of peace, love and happiness through making incremental improvements in my life, my attention has been focused on negative thinking.  Although I've made great strides in moving toward thinking more positively, the negative thinking sometimes takes over.  This behavior is what I consider to be one of my biggest character flaws.

Do you pick out a single negative detail

and dwell  on it exclusively so that your

vision of all reality becomes darkened?

It happens to me . . . and it is a total sapper of peace, even though I can remain happy.  Everything in my life can be as perfect as it gets and one little thing that happens turns into "everything in my life is wrong" . . . the remnant of clinical depression and many disappointing years after becoming a widow.  

In my really bad times that have thankfully passed, I actually expected negative things to happen, even when there wasn't an inkling of disappointment on the horizon.  It is what I describe as the "doom and gloom mentality" where peace is impossible.

Just like anything else, realizing destructive behavior is the first step in making incremental improvements to conquer it.  The second step is recognizing it in its beginnings, learning how to turn it around and revert the situation to a positive one.

When I look back at my days heavily influenced by that mentality of doom and gloom and think of how I react to situations now, it is almost the equivalent of the difference between day and night.  Although it is easy for me to fall back into the trap, with every instance it becomes easier to turn my way of thinking around to one that brings me peace of mind, not doom and gloom.

Peace is a sunny reality

no matter what is going on in your life. 

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The Drama Queen Syndrome

Are you a drama queen?

Or perhaps a drama king?

Maybe I'm overgeneralizing . . . as a seasoned drama queen will do . . . but I firmly believe that women don't corner the market on this syndrome.  

Guys . . . you know it . . . you can be just as dramatic as the most seasoned drama queen.

Are you guilty of taking a negative event to the outrageous proportion of a pattern of defeat that you just know will never end?  

Are you convinced that going on and on about it makes it all better?

It reminds me of an old saying that I have heard most of my life . . .

"make a mountain out of a mole hill"

I must admit to the title of Drama Queen . . . and yes, I'm well seasoned!  What can I say?  It is in my genes and ethnicity . . . I'm an italian with a bit of cuban thrown in . . . I was born with it . . . complete with the waving hands!

(The Captain is convinced that I would be unable to talk if my hands were tied . . . sometimes I know he is tempted!  Speaking of him . . . yes, he is a Drama King!)

At times it can be amusing, even comical, but taking it too far releases way too much negativity.  Life is too short for that!  Irritations at life situations should be taken seriously, but we can also laugh at the absurdity of it all rather than sap our energy on negativity.

 Neither may or may not change anything, but can ultimately make the way we handle it more pleasant. The alternative is similar to an irritating pack of little yappy barking dogs.

In my quest to make incremental improvements in my life, I am making a conscious effort to recognize the drama queen traits when the syndrome starts to rear it's ugly head and try to nip it in the bud while in the amusing stage.  

To mask the beginnings of something ugly about to happen, I am learning how to turn it into a comedy routine, quickly getting over the silly thing I was starting to get dramatic about.  It takes making a conscious effort to recognize it starting to happen.

My journey to peace, love and happiness has made me keenly aware of the "Drama Queen Syndrome" dangers . . . and my new-found awareness has made some potentially explosive situations comical, leading to smiles instead of frowns.

I wonder if there will be an "I told you so" type of
statement in the conversation when he wakes up!

So . . . come on, admit it . . . are you a drama queen . . . or king?

Is your partner a drama queen or king?

Both of you?

How do you handle it?

Inquiring minds want to know!

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Follow your dreams

"The only place where your dream becomes
impossible is in your own thinking."

Robert H. Schuller

Like the elephant, we are unconscious of our own strength.

When it comes to understanding the power we have to
make a difference in our own lives, we might as well be asleep.

If you want to make your dreams come true, wake up.

Wake up to your own strength.

Wake up to the role you play in your own destiny.

Wake up to the power you have to choose
what you think, do, and say.

Keith Ellis, from the book, Bootstraps

Never give up your dreams!

Follow That Dream | Elvis Presley

Lyrics

(Words & music by Fred Wise - Ben Weisman)

Follow that dream, I gotta follow that dream
Keep a-movin, move along, keep a moving
I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need

When your heart gets restless, time to move along
When your heart gets weary, time to sing a song
But when a dream is calling you,
There's just one thing that you can do

Well, you gotta follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
You gotta follow that dream to find the love you need

Keep a-movin, move along, keep a moving

Got to find me someone whose heart is free
Someone to look for my dream with me
And when I find her I may find out
Just what my dreams are all about

I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need

I've got to follow that dream wherever that dream may lead
I've got to follow that dream to find the love I need

Keep a-movin, move along
Keep a-movin, move along
Keep a-movin, move along

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Runaway

There are only two places that I see,
One is strong, and the other one feels so weak,
And this plan feels so strange to me,
It’s all I see, baby

Lyrics from the song
Runaway ~ Nelly Furtado

Life is a series of phases, changes and transitions . . . what makes the difference is our attitude towards life in general and how we approach these changes, whether they be pleasant or unpleasant ones. As I am reorganizing my blog posts around and going through old posts, I can see the different changes in my attitude, my reactions to what is going on in my life and how it affects how I am feeling.

At the time I wrote the following post, August 2007, I realized I was running away from my problems, just waiting to die . . . and since then I started to face them head on, tackling them one at a time.

I have the plan, working on it one day at a time
. . . no more running away!

Just one little change makes such a difference. I have proved it to myself many times, only to return to negative and warped thinking. How many times do we have to slip and fall, make the same mistakes over and over again before we learn?

Hopefully I have and this is a permanent change!

Runaway is one of my favorite songs of all time by one of my favorite singers, Nelly Furtado. This song has had different meaning at various stages in recent past. A powerful song can do that for me . . .

This post was originally written
 and published on August 2007

Running away . . . isn’t that what I’ve been doing? Sure, it’s true that I’ve not gone anywhere . . . in fact, I’ve locked myself in my self-imposed prison and have not left my house since last week. It is what I’ve wanted.

But haven’t I been running away from progress?

“And I know you wanna,

Let it go,

And I know you wanna,

Go with the flow,

But you can’t”

Many forces have been at work
 in the midst of my inner struggle.

Disappointments and disagreements with people in my life . . . my birthday came and went and I never admitted that being one year older has scared the hell out of me . . . future uncertainty with a sketchy plan . . . no real purpose in my life . . . and I’ve recently made a realization that scared me more than anything has scared me in a very long time . . . 

I’m just sitting around waiting to die.

Have I fallen down so many times that even though I go through the motions, in actuality, I’ve given up on life? Like the songs says . . . “and I know you wanna” . . . sure, I wanna this and I wanna that, but I don’t do it. I can’t.

Powerful words . . . “I can’t” . . . tell yourself this enough times and you never will. More than anything, I wanna go with the flow, my mind goes with the flow. It is like I described in another blog and I keep thinking about this analogy . . . it is not a merry-go-round that I can’t get off of that never stops . . .no, I am in the middle of it, the part that doesn’t move, yet the merry-go-round spins around the middle . . . and I can’t get on.

An awesome friend told me tonight that I’m not giving myself permission to move on . . . whatever force it is that is keeping me from doing so . . . guilt . . . fear . . . I’ve been thinking about it since he brought it to my attention. So I run away . . . no wonder this is one of my favorite songs. I can so relate to it . . . I live it daily. But who or what am I running away from? hmmmmm myself? And why? I can almost feel the wings beneath my feet.

The way I write, think and become inspired is very strange. Since I listen to music 24/7, I relate to song lyrics, I can get lost in them . . . but it is also my musical background as a songwriter that takes me to that point of inspiration. Song lyrics are about life, love . . . a tear in someone’s beer.

Tonight I was listening to my Nelly Furtado playlist and this song, Runaway, came on and I thought of the many times that I’ve gotten different meanings from this song. At this moment I’m not facing the things that I need to be doing and running away.

More progress
just from listening to a song
in my bizarre, analytical way 

Runaway | Nelly Furtado

Lyrics:

There are only two places I could go

One is dark, and it feels so hollow

And it lets me in only to swallow

Too much water until i drown, baby

And the other place is calm and sweet

I can almost feel wings beneath my feet

And i don’t care if it feels too deep

I like it, I like it

And I know you wanna

Take a chance

And I know you wanna

Understand me and

Let me in

But you, runaway from what you know

And you, runaway from what you don’t

I don’t wanna wait for you

To change your mind

Don’t take the time

Show me your love tonight

There are only two places that I see

One is strong, and the other one feels so weak

And this plan feels so strange to me

It’s all I see, baby

And i know you wanna

Let it go

And i know you wanna

Flow this love

But you can’t

So you, runaway from what you know

And you, runaway from what you don’t

I don’t wanna wait for you

To change your mind

Don’t take the time

Show me your love tonight, oh yeah, tonight.

All the angels know what i know

You’re an angel that sings to me

It’s the greatest secret of all

I am free from thinking

But you, runaway from what you know

And you, runaway from what you don’t

I don’t wanna wait for you

To change your mind

Don’t take the time

Let’s make love

Don’t runaway from what you know

Don’t runaway, just let it go

I don’t wanna wait for you

To tell me what’s right

Don’t fight it

Let’s make love tonight

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