Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Survival mode





Finding Deep Strength


We have all have times in our lives
when we think we don’t have the
strength to carry on.

You do, and you can.


We have all faced moments in our lives when the pressure mounts beyond what we feel we can handle, and we find ourselves thinking that we do not have the strength to carry on. Sometimes we have just gotten through a major obstacle or illness only to find another one waiting for us the moment we finally catch our breath.

Sometimes we endure one loss after another, wondering when we will get a break from life’s travails. It does not seem fair or right that life should demand more of us when we feel we have given all we can, but sometimes this is the way life works. 

When we look back on our lives, we see that we have survived many trials and surmounted many obstacles, often to our own amazement. In each of those instances, we had to break through our ideas about how much we can handle and go deeper into our hidden reserves. The thought that we do not have the strength to handle what is before us can be likened to the hard surface of a frozen lake. It appears to be an impenetrable fact, but when we break through it, we find that a deep well of energy and inspiration was trapped beneath that icy barrier the whole time. 

Sometimes we break through by cutting a hole into our resistance with our willpower, and sometimes we melt the ice with compassion for our predicament and ourselves. Either way, each time we break through, we reach a new understanding of the strength we store within ourselves. 

When we find ourselves up against that frozen barrier of thinking we cannot handle our situation, we may find that the kindest choice is to love ourselves and our resistance too. We can simply accept that we are overwhelmed, exhausted, and stretched, and we can offer ourselves loving kindness and compassion. If we can extend to ourselves the unconditional warmth of a mother’s love, before we know it, the ice will begin to break.


Source: The Daily Om


In retrospect, the strength I found inside of me when my husband died amazes me to this day. My sincere belief is that we all possess a deep strength that we can't even imagine until we actually need it. It is what I call survival mode.

There have been many times that I have reached deep down inside to tap into my survival mode. Many people give into the life obstacle, not knowing that the survival mode even exists, maybe it is too much trouble. It is the equivalent of falling down and not getting back up.

I love this quote . . . it is so important to remember . . .

"Failure is not falling down, it's staying down."

Renee Yohe





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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Leading by example




Often the best way to create change
is not to try to convince others to change,
but to change ourselves.


We all know from experience that we can’t change other people, yet most of us have a tendency to try. This is because we naturally feel the need to do something to change situations that we find troubling. It often doesn’t occur to us that the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change but to change ourselves. When we make adjustments from within, we become role models for others, and leading by example is much more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.

We sometimes look outside ourselves for what’s wrong with the world, but the outside world is really just a mirror reflecting us back to ourselves. When we encounter negativity—anger, depression, fear—we empower ourselves by looking for its roots inside of ourselves. For example, if you have a friend who is unreliable, observe yourself and notice if there are ways in which you are unreliable. You may be surprised to discover that you have your own struggles with this issue in ways you weren’t able to see. Once you own the issue for yourself, you can begin to work for change within yourself. This will also enable you to have more compassion for your friend. At the very least, as you strive to become more reliable, you will become more of the person you want to be. In the best-case scenario, you will be an inspiration to others.

You can apply the same method to larger issues. For example, if there is something you see in the larger world that you would like to change—let’s say, greed—try taking responsibility for changing it in yourself. Instead of being angry with those you see as greedy, seek out the roots of your own greed and come to terms with your power to transform it. This may be the best way to lead the world toward greater moderation and generosity.

Source: The Daily Om


My mom has a saying that reminds
 me of the above article . . .

"You can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make him drink"





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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Endless destination




"Believing in yourself is an endless destination. Believing you have failed is the end of the journey."

Anonymous




MASTIN SAYS:

I know it's not always easy to walk on the path of your dreams. The ups and downs of the journey are a wonderful dance that guide us towards our deepest desires. As far as I can see, one of the main goals of the journey is to not judge a situation as bad or good, but remain detached.

If you are showing up and acting every day towards the greatest good for yourself and others then trust what shows up today. Know that what is placed at your feet is a special, unique experience just for you and on the other side of this experience if a brand new way of seeing the world.


Love the ups.
Love the downs.
It's a journey, this life,
love and savor every moment of it.





Source: The Daily Love



TDL on Twitter

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Finding Time for You




Your Most Vital Commitment

Recognizing the importance of "you time" is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however. Even if you find a spot for it in your agenda, you may be dismayed to discover that your thoughts continuously stray into worldly territory.

To make the most of "you time," give yourself enough time on either side of the block of time you plan to spend on yourself to ensure that you do not feel rushed. Consider how you would like to pass the time, forgetting for the moment your obligations and embracing the notion of renewal. You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.

Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you. "You time" prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home. It also affords you a unique opportunity to learn about yourself, your needs, and your tolerances in a concrete way.

As unimportant as "you time" can sometimes seem, it truly is crucial to your well being because it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself.


Source: Daily Om


It occurs to me that my blogging theme for today is anxiety, life balance and relaxing after a period of chaotic and stressful times. Life changes can be swift and stressful, even if the changes are a good thing.

Seems like in the midst of these life changes, I have neglected taking quality time out for myself. My life has been a whirlwind since entering the world of employment after so many years of no routine. I'm still finding my way to a good balance between personal and work time. In the meantime, my days off fly by before I have time to access my personal needs and "me time".

Blogging is a huge part of it for me . . . determining what your quality "me time" is makes a huge difference in anxiety levels, quality of life and life balance itself.

Find time for yourself today . . .




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Saturday, May 29, 2010

From thinking to doing



Human behavior expert Theodore Bryant, author of the book “Self-Discipline in 10 Days: How to Go from Thinking to Doing”, has conducted self-discipline courses, workshops, and seminars for over a decade. He explains that everyone is made up of different selves. Often, your different sides want to go in different directions, which causes inner conflict. While part of you wants to clean the kitchen and balance the check book, another part of you wants to grab a bag of chips and a diet coke and veg out in front of the TV.

Bryant calls the side of you that tries to sabotage your efforts to be self-disciplined, Hyde. And, yes, the part of you that wants to be self-disciplined is Dr. Jekyll. The author cautions not to think of Hyde as an enemy, but, instead, he advises that you regard Hyde as a part of you which you’ll want to recruit to help you in your efforts to achieve your goals, resolutions, and objectives.

Here are some of the strategies you can use to overcome the resistance which Hyde will put up whenever you try to take action toward achieving your goals:


Excuses and Action Oriented Self-Talk


Whenever you hear yourself coming up with an excuse as to why you can’t take the steps necessary in order to accomplish a goal you’ve set for yourself, remind yourself that it’s just a tactic being used by Hyde to avoid doing the work. In order to counteract Hyde’s negativism, use action oriented self-talk.

Action oriented self-talk is positive, specific, and present tense. Suppose you tell yourself that you’re going to spend the next two hours organizing your closet. However, you get distracted by other things and, two hours later, you haven’t accomplished anything productive. What happened? Hyde started working on your subconscious to get you to do anything but clean your closet. What you need to do is replace Hyde’s self-defeating subconscious messages with positive, specific, present tense messages.

Once you make the decision to organize your closet, begin saying the following out loud: “I am now organizing my closet.” When you do this, the subconscious mind will turn all of its attention to organizing the closet, regardless of what you may actually be doing at the time. Your subconscious mind will begin sending messages to your motor functions, emotions, and other members of your physical and psychological network that will be in line with organizing your closet. In addition, it will begin to look for ways to organize your closet.

Here’s an example used by Bryant: You’re sitting in your favorite chair reading a magazine. Part of you begins to think that your time could be used more productively by working on that eBook you’ve been meaning to write. However, Hyde begins to say: “I’m reading a magazine.” Therefore, your subconscious turns all of its resources toward reading the magazine. At this point, Dr. Jekyll needs to say: “I’m working on my eBook.” Now, your subconscious will begin to point its resources toward working on your eBook:

* You’ll begin to feel agitated as you sit there leafing through the magazine.
* You’ll start getting ideas for things to include in your eBook.
* You’ll feel like getting up, sitting at your desk, turning on your computer, and getting to work on your eBook.
* As long as you keep repeating your positive, specific, present tense message, you’ll feel compelled to work on your eBook. Repetition is the key to success.
* If you say it out loud, it will be even more powerful than simply repeating it silently.


Hyde might try to convince you that you will take action to achieve your goals; you’ll just do it later. After all, if you want to start exercising you’ll need a new jogging outfit. You can’t possibly be seen in any of the old work out pants and ratty t-shirts you have in your closet. And in order to buy new exercise clothes, you first have to pay off your credit card balance in full. After all, getting out of debt is another one of your goals. So, you see, exercising is not something you can do at the moment. But you’ll do it later. (Hyde is quite devious.)

The tactic to use here is to question whether there’s a legitimate reason to delay getting started, or if it sounds suspiciously like one of Hyde’s clever excuses. Remember, Hyde is like a little kid who will come up with all sorts of ruses to avoid his parents’ orders to clean his room. It’s perfectly fine for you to exercise in the clothes you already have; the perceived obstacle of needing a new jogging suit is just Hyde trying to trick you into spending an hour surfing the Internet instead of exercising.


Fear of Failure

Bryant points out that study after study has shown that the greatest obstacle to personal success is fear of failure. The pain of past failures lingers in the shadows of your subconscious, reminding you of how awful you felt the last time you failed. Why would you want to set yourself up to feeling like that again by pursuing a new goal? Just sit back and enjoy your TV show. Go ahead, put your feet up on the coffee table. You could even grab that pint of Rocky Road ice cream you have in the freezer. That feels nice and safe, doesn’t it?

We’ve been trained by society that failing is shameful. Is it any mystery, then, that we’re so reluctant to attempt anything at which we can’t be sure of succeeding? When part of us wants to do something, and part of us is dragging its feet because it’s terrified of failing, it’s like trying to drive a car with the handbrake on. In order to succeed at achieving your goals, you have to fully invest yourself in the task at hand.

The trick here is to separate your performance on a given task from how you feel about yourself. You probably have a tendency to say to yourself: “If I fail at this, I’m a failure.” You need to begin regarding failure as evidence of experimentation and attempts at self-growth, instead of seeing it as a blow to your self-esteem. Refuse to link failure to how you feel about yourself. As Bryant points out, failure is not a tombstone, but a stepping stone to success.


Conclusion

You’ve known for a while that you have a Hyde lurking around in your subconscious, haven’t you? After all, how many times have you made goals and resolutions with the best of intentions to follow through, only to find that you never get started, or that you leave things half-finished? Bryant offers many more clues in “Self-Discipline in 10 Days” on how to recognize Hyde’s attempts at sabotaging your efforts, and what to do about it.

What types of things have you caught Hyde doing to try and prevent you from getting things done, or to stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to accomplish your dreams?


This article is a reprint from one of my favorite blogs . . .

http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com/

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A position of positivity




You may feel happy and upbeat today. A lively and entertaining mood may come over you, leading you to observe your life and your prospects with an optimistic eye. Even if you face challenges as your proceed down your path, you’ll likely look for the blessings in each new difficulty you encounter. You can inspire the individuals with whom you work and play to look at their own lives with more hope and enthusiasm. The good-natured outlook you project can serve as a positive example that drives others to look to you for guidance. Your optimism may give you the strength to help others overcome the distressing situations they come upon. You will likely be blessed with the ability to put a positive spin on the darkest of circumstances today.

Optimism can help you retain an upbeat attitude and hopeful outlook as you move through life. Outside forces can wield a strong influence over what we feel and how we choose to respond to those feelings. When you believe that the future will be bright, you create a wellspring of buoyancy in your soul that you can draw from when your worldly concerns go awry. You’ll never balk or be disheartened when faced with circumstances that slow or block your progress. Your positive nature will allow you to take a playful stance when dealing with distressing or difficult situations. The blessings inherent in life’s good and bad aspects will always be apparent to you. The optimism you hold in your heart today will allow you to show a smile in any situation.

Source: Daily Om


Sometimes I have a difficult
 time remembering this!


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Satisfying your desires



Your mind is always searching, like a squirrel always searching for acorns. The squirrel sits, surrounded by the acorns it has gathered.

Is it seated 'blissed out' in the midst of acorn consciousness?

No! The squirrel is wondering where it can find its next bunch of acorns. With all due respect, this is also what your ego-based mind has in store for you. Its basic rule is to never completely satisfy you, to keep you looking for the next treasure, constantly searching for the fulfillment of your next desire.


It is important that you understand the force of your desires. They are addictions, and being addicted to anything simply means that you feel there is something you need to make you Whole that you do not have.



Source: (Bartholomew through Mary-Margaret Moore,
from the book, Reflections of an Elder Brother)




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