Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Days with tears

~ Snakes and Ladders | Joss Stone ~

"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

Carl Jung, was a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of Jungian psychology

"Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you'll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You'll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival."

Osho, was Indian mystic, guru and philosopher

How many times did I almost give up on life
and just settle for waiting to die?

When I came across the above quotes, all I could think of was the wasted time I spent being upset with my life circumstances. No matter how many times I picked myself up after falling into another one of those traps that life throws out, I stayed down way too long. Maybe I needed to be there and think about that a lot. I've come to the conclusion that we sometimes have to "go there" . . . hit rock bottom to realize how serious the situation is and pull out all the strength inside to get out of it before it becomes all consuming to the point of no return.

This is one of the greatest lessons I have learned . . .

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Monday, December 28, 2009

Fear and insecurity

"LET me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them."

Rabindranath Tagore

"When we love, we are courageous;
and courage has nothing to do

with being fearless, 
it's about being willing to 
experience fear, even dread, 
to do what we must,
without guarantee of outcome."

Vanna Bonta

~ I Run Away | Britney Spears ~

We seek to control our lives when we do not trust, when we do not love. Our ego, perceiving itself to be vulnerable and insecure, uses control in an effort to protect itself. At the root of our need to control, we find FEAR. It may be fear of the unknown. Fear of not coping. Fear of loss. Or possibly even fear of looking stupid. And as our efforts to control other people and events invariably fail, our fear increases. Trust, on the other hand, is a quality of the soul. While control is a tool of the mind, trust and faith are aspects of the heart. Trust comes with the deep knowing that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. When we trust enough in life to give up our need to control, we can relax and open to the flow of energy in our lives. This brings peace of mind. 

Fear can be paralyzing, making those things we truly desire to do become impossible.  The phobias born from fear can be defeated in the mind, where the desire can be courageous enough to battle those fears.

Anyone can do anything they set their mind to do.

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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Courage to love

~ Genie in a Bottle (Remix) | Christina Aguilera ~

Put letting yourself be loved on your
resolution list for the coming new year

"You can never cross the ocean unless
you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
Christopher Columbus, was a Genoese explorer whose voyages
across the Atlantic Ocean led to general European awareness
of the American continents.

"Mount the stallion of love and do not fear the path,
love's stallion knows the way exactly. With one
leap, love's horse will carry you home."

Rumi,was a 13th-century Persian poet and mystic.

Lack of courage can keep us from living a beautiful, happy life. Allowing another person to love us and returning that love has to be one of the scariest things we will ever experience.

There is a saying that I remember every time I meet someone new . . . you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before finding the prince. Ok, so maybe those aren't the exact words, but you get the point. My courage comes from being a widow after experiencing a long and happy marriage to a very sweet man . . . and still believing in fairy tales and knowing that it would happen again if I just have faith in God.

Sitting behind my keyboard has been my preferred method of finding my life partner since I don't like kissing frogs. For many, online love itself is a scary endeavor . . . for me, finding the right person in the real world through dating is frightening to the point of total avoidance.

The method does not really matter . . . what matters is having the courage to try and having faith that God will take you down the path you need to walk on. When it is finally right, it is worth all the hurt experienced running into the frogs who were never destined to be the prince.

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Friday, December 25, 2009

A gift of the heart

~ Living to Love You | Sarah Connor ~

Letting People Know You Love Them

It’s easy to take our feelings for granted and to assume that the people we care about know how we feel about them. But while those we love are often quite cognizant of our feelings, saying "I love you" is a gift we should give to our loved ones whenever we can. Letting people know you love them is an important part of nurturing any kind of loving relationship. Few people tire of being told they are loved, and saying "I love you" can make a world of difference in someone’s life, take a relationship to a new level, or reaffirm and strengthen a steady bond. Everyone needs to hear the words "I love you." Three simple words – I - Love - You. When you declare your love for someone you admit to them that you care for them in the most significant way.

It can be difficult to express your love using words, particularly if you grew up around people that never expressed their affection verbally. But you should never be afraid to say "I love you" or worry that doing so will thrust you into a position of excessive vulnerability. It is important to share your feelings with those that matter to you. Part of the fulfillment that comes with loving someone is telling them that you love them. Besides, love exists to be expressed, not withheld.

If you love someone, let them know. Don’t be afraid of the strength of your emotions or worry that your loved one won’t feel the same way. Besides, the words "I love you" are often best said to another without expectation of a return investment. As each one of us is filled with an abundance of love, there is never any worry that you’ll run out of love if your expression of love isn’t said back to you. Saying, "I love you" is a gift of the heart sent directly via words to the heart of a recipient. Even though it may not always look that way, love from the heart is an offering that is always unconditional and given without strings attached. That is the true essence of the gift of "I love you."

Source: The Daily OM

When I finally found that man who loved me unconditionally and realized that we could share a lifetime together in peace, love and happiness, I had no problem telling him how much I loved him.

My heart had been broken waiting and waiting for the one who never came back from the military and I always blamed myself for having too much pride and not letting him know how I really felt about him. When I fell in love with JR, I was not about to lose him for the lack of him knowing how I felt because of so many regrets I was feeling about the other guy.

There are differing degrees of love . . . and they are all important . . . all of them must be expressed often and appreciated for the jewels that they are. Love is the one thing the human spirit and money can't control, but it can be nurtured for the beauty that it is.

After all this time since JR passed away, I have been given the gift of love again and I have given him the gift of my heart forever.

Merry Christmas . . . my first one in a very long time that almost feels normal . . . wishing  you were here with me.  

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Miss you . . .

~ Walking on Sunshine (Extended Mix) | Katrina and the Waves ~

Missing someone will tell you a lot about your relationship . . . if someone is away and you don’t really notice their absence or enjoy your life more . . . that definitely should speak volumes about the state of your relationship.

But if you feel a bit lost and lonely,
that should tell you something else.

Missing someone is a reminder of the important role that this person plays in your life and could also be one of the telltale signs of love. Missing someone is one of those measurements of what’s in your heart.

Do you find yourself separated from that special someone in your life today and your heart aches a bit from missing them? Just smile and know that if they are missing you too, you are very rich indeed and have something that money can’t buy!

Miss you!

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The Thrill of Romance

~ From Zero to Hero | Sarah Connor ~

"When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it.

Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last."

Source: The Daily Om

Do you remember a time in your life
 when romance led to love?

Can you tell the difference?

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Self-acceptance and perfection

~ Rhythm of the Night | Corona ~

“We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are.”
-- Don Miguel Ruiz

“The maxim ‘Nothing but perfection’ may be spelled ‘Paralysis.’”
-- Winston Churchill

“After enough mirror gazing, we all develop our ‘cosmic sense of humor.’ We no longer try to be perfect, or try to get all our work done in time. We become content with whatever life brings. Just to deal with what comes up without crucifying ourselves or others is enough of a challenge.”
-- Paul Ferrini

Attaining self-acceptance has brought me to the place in life where I no longer beat myself up because I am not perfect. It has taken me a lifetime to realize that no matter how hard anyone tries, they will never be perfect. Having said that, it doesn't mean giving up on striving for perfection . . . it is about accepting that which is imperfect after attempting to be the best person you can be, doing the best job you can do, loving yourself and being proud of what you did accomplish. 
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses no matter who we are. Maximizing our strengths and strengthening our weaknesses through setting realistic goals and doing everything possible to attain them helps to get to the place of self-acceptance. 
What good does almost hitting a goal make if the bar is raised before we are able to get there? All that does is create the illusion of failure when we should be proud of getting close to hitting that goal.

My parents gave me an awesome foundation as a child, teaching me to always do my best . . . but they expected perfection. When it seemed like I was ready to hit a goal they had set for me, that bar would be raised and I always felt not quite "good enough" leading to a life of frustration with myself and making perfection in everything I do as the goal. Little did I know that I would never hit that goal . . . no one can.

Perfection is an awesome thing to strive for, however, when it becomes a life obsession, that is not a good thing. It only leads to self-hatred . . . something I dealt with all of my life. I have wasted so much of my life beating myself up.

Setting realistic goals is the healthy balance.

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Saturday, December 19, 2009

The strength of love

~ The Things We Do For Love | 10cc ~

The more you are motivated by love,
the more fearless and free your actions will be.

Dalai Lama

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry;
to get my work done and try to love somebody
and have the courage to accept the love in return.

Maya Angelou

It doesn't have to be romantic love, although in my opinion, that is the strongest of all love. All forms of love are capable of providing us strength, courage, and self-confidence.

Love makes me fearless in many ways, fearful in other ways . . . somewhere in the middle is the beautiful emotion of feeling safe in his arms. That initial feeling of safety begins to tear those emotional walls down and melts my heart, making me emotionally stronger as a person.

While the rational mind will bring assurance that physically, love does not make us stronger, the euphoric feeling of romantic love turns on the confidence that with this person feeling the same emotions, we have become one strong and fearless entity.

As trust in the other person builds, that feeling of safety, strength and fearlessness can make us do things we previously thought was impossible and anything is possible.
In the movie Titanic, Jack was the "king of the world" . . . of course he wasn't, but love made him feel like he was.

Nothing is more important to me than to make that person proud of my accomplishments, proud of who I am as a person who continually strives to be the best person I can be and proud I am the person he fell in love with.

Anything is possible with any person who is willing and able to do these things for themselves, however, love provides the strength and motivation to see it through. Self-love and self-esteem can also see it through . . . but that's another post . . . strengths we learn as children, finding our way in the world, trusting our parents or another authority figure we look up to as role models.

Many people find it difficult to pull together that strength and courage because of old wounds that are still healing, with trust being something that is earned and not felt merely because of love.

The fearless euphoria of romantic love can be awesome and beautiful . . . we just need the courage to accept the love in return when we find it.

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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Awesome connections

~ Looking Up | Donna Summer ~

The accuracy of my horoscopes have been amazing me . . .

December 17, 2009
Inner Filling
Leo Daily Horoscope

You may have the need to serve others today or want to spend time nurturing or comforting those in need. You might feel frustrated by the suffering you see in the world and want to do something to help, or you could be seeking a deeper sense of fulfillment. While serving others might help you feel more empowered and purposeful, you might also think about turning your attention inward and fostering a sense of fulfillment that comes from who you are and not necessarily what you do. You may want to affirm that you are whole and worthy regardless of what you do today. Service to others is a beautiful act. However, in order to give to others, you must be able to give to yourself.

The more we give ourselves, the more we have to give to the people in our lives. The world reflects our relationship with ourselves. When we have a fulfilling relationship with ourselves, we can serve others more from a place of wholeness and purpose. Instead of feeling that our fulfillment rests on the actions we take each day, we can turn within and concentrate on filling our inner well with peace, fulfillment, and joy. When we feel connected to ourselves and happy, we are better able to serve others with genuine joy and compassion. This allows us to give from the heart, and our sense of fulfillment grows. By developing your own sense of fullness and fulfillment today, you can feel whole and more purposeful while having more to offer others.

Fullness and fulfillment has taken over my life in the form of awesome connections I've made at my new job at a mental health center. For the first time in a very long time, I'm experiencing the joy of Christmas through others.

As I read today's horoscope, I found it very interesting that I was pondering those very things as I relaxed with a cup of hot raspberry tea after an exhausting day of work at the office. The fulfillment has come to me in several forms. It was always my belief that community service and giving of yourself, even when it is seemingly insignificant, could be a humbling and enriching experience.

The clients are very grateful for the kindness of strangers that have become their comfort zone, the special holiday festivities that have begun and the anticipation and appreciation of the little gifts they receive. While some are extremely down and depressed with the coming of the season, many are wearing a festive smile that have replaced a hopeless look. Awesome feeling to see the smiles on those faces!

Anyone who has followed my blogs for any length of time know how I feel about "the holidays" . . . I have dreaded them year after year since my husband passed away. The sullen, depressed faces remind me of looking in the mirror, wanting so much to see a happy face reflecting back at me and longing for a trace of a joyous holiday season.

What I realized today . . . this is the year which is my turning point . . . I have so much to be grateful for . . . I'm finally on the road to a fulfilling and happy life with a purpose and love with the wonderful man I've continued a long distance relationship with.

God has had a purpose for me and has presented it to me in the form of a job that I love so much, working with people who appreciate me, trust me and have given me more than I can ever thank them for . . . the clients and my co-workers. The gift of smiles and wishes for a happy holiday have touched me in so many ways, and are filling those empty spots in my heart.

Reluctantly, I agreed to participate in the "Secret Santa" festivities among my co-workers. The dread filled me this afternoon as I anticipated the break to have a moment exchanging gifts with those co-workers that are fast becoming good friends. Christmas has not been a fun or joyous time for me for the past seven years . . . it has represented the struggle of depression, restlessness and frustration within myself. The dread had nothing to do with my co-workers, it was me.

It is ironic that I am employed in a mental health center . . . psychiatrists, psychotherapists and counselors surround me . . . they have no idea of my "emotional state."

The gift of an awesomely festive moving Santa that rings bells and sings a song of Christmas joy brought out the little girl in me and put a huge smile on my face. I felt a lump in my throat as that little guy put the Christmas spirit in my heart, along with the hug from the woman who picked my name and told me how blessed she felt to have me in the circle of co-workers who truly care for each other like family.

Most of my co-workers have been at their jobs for more than ten years . . . I am the one who is blessed and could never express my happiness at landing a job at this wonderful place where people truly care about others and do it on a daily basis, giving themselves to those unfortunate people who find themselves in a bad place in life and often makes the difference between life and death.

As I make my new awesome connections, my inner self is healing from many years of restless anxiety with life itself, the struggle for survival and fighting my way back to loving the person I am.

The meaning of Christmas is so very different to me this year . . .

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Perfect Love, The Perfect Home

An awesome article on love!

By Mastin Kipp Perfect Love is like the perfect home. Both are built on a strong foundation, so that even the wildest of storms could not shake it. There is lots of space with room to breathe. You can travel far and wide and know that your home is still there, waiting for you to return. The perfect home warms you when you are cold and cools you down when you're too hot. Over time, your home grows to suit your changing wants and needs by making expansions. Of course you keep your home clean, neat and tidy. You wipe away all the residue of fears and vacuum away mistakes and misunderstanding, while recycling your Love.

The perfect home, like the perfect Love has many tall crystal clear windows, so you can see inside it, but has the options for blinds in case you have some private work to do. Your home is connected to the rest of the world through a modem, and your Love is connected to the rest of the world through your understanding that we all want a place to call home.

Regardless of what the market is doing, your home remains strong. It waits for you while you go out there and make it happen, with patience for your efforts.

And if for some reason the time comes for a new home to be found (no matter how large or small), know there are even more adventures to be had and be grateful for the ones that have come so far.

And if you're really lucky, you will grow old with someone who feels like home who has perfect Love for you, too.

No matter what, home is where your Heart is, and your Heart is always in what you Love. This is perfection.


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~ Lost Without Your Love | Bread ~

"The sudden disappointment of a hope

leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment

of that hope never entirely removes.”

“The size of your success is measured by the

strength of your desire; the size of your dream;

& how you handle disappointment along the way.”

Disappointment . . . a feeling of dissatisfaction

that results when your expectations are not realized.

Once again I am in the process of restructuring my blogs . . . this is an older post that defines the struggle I've experienced since becoming a widow. Life changes can grab a hold of you and turn you upside down . . . over and over again. In my new way of perceiving life with a positive attitude, I try to think of disappointment as what is thrown at us so we can appreciate the good things and times in our lives.

Since the following post was written, I've experienced several more deaths . . . close friends and family members . . . the grieving process never stops . . . and neither does disappointment. It is all a cycle of life.

Originally posted on August 25, 2007

Disappointment is the emotion I'm dealing with this week and until today have not been able to define exactly what I have been feeling.

A long time relationship recently ended, I'm still dealing with the grief and adjusting to losing my spouse, several friends disappointed me recently in a major way that I am having a difficult time getting over, I turned another year older last week and I'm disappointed with myself for not having myself together by now . . . hmmm I don't think I need to go on with the "whys" . . .

Understanding the emotions that disappointment and grief has thrown at me is what I needed. So today's quest is to deal with my feelings of disappointment and grief as they relate to my life circumstances . . . understanding each one is a part of the process of healing.

Some important points . . . when something is lost, you will experience stages of grief, sometimes disappointment, to varying degrees. The length of time is determined by the value a person places on what was lost.

Like I'm losing the ability to hear music coming from those awesome music players that I was so happy to find . . . it is one of life's little pleasures for me to have music play on my posts. A simple thing, a minor irritation . . . those are little disappointments that irritate the hell out of me, but are out of my control and I shouldn't worry about it, but it still makes me crazy since these things hold a degree of importance in the quality of my life. Not grief, just disappointment and irritation.

However, the loss of an important relationship . . . disappointment with the circumstances and grieving the death of a long time relationship. I've been trying to sweep the grief under the rug because I need to get over it and why was I feeling that way about another man anyway . . . guilt would come in waves at loving another man. It does not work that way, you can't ignore anything that really bothers you . . . it festers inside of you and turns into more than what it really is if you don't deal with it . . . whatever it is.

Problems of any kind don't just go away . . . like all the boxes in my house that I procrastinate about won't go away . . . I have to deal with them.

When JR died, I was so strong I amazed everyone around me . . . I didn't want those close to me to worry about me, I had to be strong for his mom who was falling apart.  It has to be heartbreaking to lose a child.  My mom was ready to fall apart but was strong like I was being to be there for me (vicious cycle).

There were times I just wanted everyone to leave me and go home so I could cry without ceasing. And if I was not strong, hold everything and everybody together, everyone would have fallen apart. In many ways I did, but I hid it from everyone close to me. They had no idea how hard I took it . . . at times I fooled myself. Little did I know that resisting these emotions rather than allowing myself to go through these stages only prolonged the process of acceptance and healing.

In my studies, I've learned that the grief process may take you through the different stages of denial, anger, guilt and acceptance in an unpredictable order several times, making you feel like you're getting nowhere. But if you work through each one as it comes, you will eventually come to the stage of acceptance where there is a sense of hope and well-being and purpose.

I've been through all of them . . . and I still live with insomnia, restlessness and anxiety which are also part of the process. I have approached acceptance . . . which is the stage where you accept the reality of what happened and know that regardless of the loss, life will go on and it can be good.

Disappointments keep me from believing my life can be happy again . . . like how can one person be lucky enough to find the degree of happiness I had in my former life again, even if it is a totally different life of embracing my solitude and being happy with whatever I end up doing. I don't see it because of all the obstacles and hurdles I have had to jump and feel like I'm getting nowhere as far as happiness goes. Sometimes, like this past week, I get tired of trying and just want to settle with the motions of breathing, be grateful for life and wait to die.

The only thing that keeps me going is that I know that God is in control and He can work in my life to accomplish His purposes . . . sometimes it is difficult to keep the faith . . .

I'm not looking for pity and I'm not having a pity party . . . this is me trying to understand and deal with what I'm going through and hopefully helping someone else cope with a similar circumstance.

Disappointment is universal, we all feel it in varying degrees and we go through similar stages of dealing with it . . . or we should . . .

Be grateful for all your blessings

no matter how small they are!!

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Sunday, December 6, 2009

Love and miracles

~ An Everlasting Love | Andy Gibb ~

Where there is great love there are always miracles.

Willa Cather

The lyrics of a popular song proclaims love can move mountains . . . "there isn't a mountain high enough to keep me from you." In reality we know that love can't move a mountain, however, mountains are seen as obstacles . . . easily removed by love . . . sometimes not so easily, yet possible. In my opinion, the emotion of love is the most powerful force in the world . . . where there is love, anything is possible.

True love in itself is a miracle. How many people live this life and never find true love? It has surprised me in the years of writing about love and romance to find the number of people who have not experienced love in the true sense of the word.

The revelation of those staggering numbers of people who have never experienced true love made me so grateful that I found that true love, even though I am now a widow, but nevertheless, I experienced that magical emotion for over two decades. It is ironic that human nature allows us to not know what we have until we lose it . . . and when we find it again, we recognize it . . . and truly appreciate it for the miracle that true love really is.

It is amazing how one small gesture from the one we love can make a bad day almost disappear . . . a kiss can magically make hurts less painful. Taking a line from another popular song, "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day" . . . love can provide these miracles . . . or so it seems at the time.

True love is beautiful and everlasting . . . and goes beyond til death do us part.

I'm blessed that I have found it again!

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Work in Progress

~ Back Someday | Blue ~

December 6, 2009
Fluid Work in Progress
Leo Daily Horoscope

You may have a purposeful focus and be determined to continue along the path to your dreams today. This level of dedication can help you make great progress, but it can also cause you to become overwhelmed with frustration if events don’t go the way you planned. If you take a moment to think about the ways your goals have changed during the course of your life, you will realize that goal setting is a fluid, ever-changing process rather than a fixed destination.

With this new flexible outlook, overcoming obstacles today will become a simple matter of increasing the intensity of your efforts or shifting your direction to find a way around them. By choosing to see our goals as a fluid work in progress, we give ourselves the flexibility and stamina to stay motivated over the long-term. While a rigid approach to our goals can result in feelings of frustration in the face of challenges, a flexible approach can help us keep readjusting our efforts in order to achieve the most beneficial progress.

Just as we grow and change during the course of our lives, our goals must also shift to reflect who we are at any given moment. By choosing to see our long-term goals as fluid rather than fixed, we empower ourselves with the ability to stay motivated and excited, even when facing challenges. With a flexible focus on your goals today, you will create a greater level of stamina and develop an optimistic outlook that can help you stay the course.

I must admit that I have recently experienced those feelings of overwhelm and frustration, although I am the happiest I have been in a very long time since I am hitting many of my goals.

Sometimes I expect way too much from myself . . . like starting a new job and having the strong desire to bypass the learning process and effortlessly getting on with the daily routine.

Then there is my frustration with my relationship with The Captain . . . he's there and I'm here . . . and I still don't really understand it, although I do in many respects. It is such a contradiction, but that is what makes me crazy at times. I've found the man I love and want to spend my life with, we were together and in love . . . although it was a bit of a rocky road . . . now we are still in love, but with distance between us. Maybe we both needed it and was too soon to move in together.

Through all of these feelings regarding both my professional and personal life, I remain ever so optimistic that I am on the right track and a wonderful work in progress, no longer hopeless, lost and misguided.

Today I'm feeling so grateful for second chances in life . . . The Captain and I could have very well split up after he left, but our love has remained stubborn and continues to grow by the day. I'm grateful to have found a man who truly loves me and wants forever rather than a brief affair.

I'm overwhelmed and so grateful for being blessed with a job working at that place that gives me a purpose every day of my life, making a difference in the lives of others. I'm grateful for that feeling of satisfaction it gives me and the feeling of being so appreciative of everything that God has blessed me with that I have taken for granted for way too long. I'm grateful my eyes have opened to this reality.

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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Nurturing love

~ That's What Love Is For | Amy Grant ~

When we reach out to nurture and care for others, we use the power of love to transform their lives. Most of us think of love as an emotion that we feel for another person. While this is true, love is also a powerful, transformational energy we can direct toward others. By expressing love to another person, either verbally or physically, we transmit a powerful healing energy that can transform them. If they are willing to accept this loving energy, it can help them to heal and become stronger. You can make a powerful difference in the lives of your loved ones today by generously sharing your loving, nurturing energy.

Source: Daily Om

There is nothing more fulfilling than feeling the satisfaction of helping someone in need . . . you made a difference in their life, no matter how big or small the difference is. Sometimes even a smile can go a long way . . . for another person possibly having a bad day, that moment can be the trigger of bringing on a better day for them.

My new job has brought out my compassionate side and I'm living that satisfaction daily. People in need, those less fortunate than I . . . for whatever reason . . . they touch my life as well, making me so grateful for everything wonderful I have been blessed with.

Keeping a positive attitude and existing in a pleasant mode is a form of love and caring for those who surround us . . . a good mood is contagious and spreading positive vibes can make a difference in our close relationships.

Making a difference in the lives of those we love . . . the beauty of co-existing in this world with someone we love deeply who returns that love . . . it is nurturing that can heal just about anything . . . at least that's my perspective on nurturing love.

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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Regrets . . . or Stepping Stones?

~ Feels Like Fire | Santana/Dido ~

"Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. 
So I take every opportunity."

- Cameron Diaz

"You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done.
 It is what you haven't done that will torment you. 
The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! 
Develop an appreciation for the present moment. 
Seize every second of your life and savor it. 
Value your present moments. 
Using them up in any self-defeating ways
 means you've lost them forever."

- Wayne Dyer

"Never give up and good luck will find you."

- Falcor, is the Luck Dragon from the awesome movie "The NeverEnding Story" which came out in 1984.

Love Comes in Many Forms
By Meredith Banker (

Love comes in many forms
Self-love is the best
It is better to want than need
But everyone needs
Find the need in yourself
And fill it with what you want
I wish; I grow
I challenge
I look for those who challenge my heart, my soul, my expansion
I am expanding and it is a beautiful thing
I always want, I always stay hungry
Never sacrifice yourself or your dreams to fulfill someone else's needs
I breathe, I am alive; I awaken the fire within me
Do not let your soul be deprived of its vision
Accept, awaken, enlighten
Challenge yourself
Do not look to others to challenge you
I see right through you


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Regrets? Of course I have them . . . everyone does one thing or another in their life they wish would have never happened. But I choose to see those things as life's stepping stones, not regrets even if the situation didn't turn out as I had planned.

In my entire life, there isn't anything I would do over again because I would not be in this place and time in my life. Everything happens for a reason . . . even failures or those things we perceive as failures. My greatest lessons came out of what I perceive as failure.

On the other hand, I don't have those type of regrets because of something I really wanted to do and didn't do since I always try to make myself happy. Those actions have not always been successful, in fact, some were the most devastating failures of my life. However, I appreciate the lessons learned from those failures and can never go back and wonder "what if" . . . I was true to myself and what my intuition and heart wanted.

Just do it . . . whatever it is that you think will make you happy . . . don't have regrets!

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Moderation and balance

~ Make It Better | Los Lonely Boys ~

"By approaching our work with moderation and careful planning, we can accomplish more and still retain a sense of mental, emotional, and physical balance. Few things are more exciting and energizing than setting goals and planning for a better future.
However, our excitement can often be detrimental to our well-being if we take on too much, too soon. Rather than trying to run the race in a few giant leaps, we can instead pace ourselves and take smaller, more consistent steps to reach the finish line with less effort and strain. We then conserve our energy and accomplish much more in the long run than we would otherwise.
By being gentle with yourself and proceeding with moderation toward your goals today, you can make great progress without becoming overwhelmed."

Source: The Daily Om

Moderation and balance have become a recurring theme in my life as I've entered a new phase and into the "real world" again.

One step at a time is what it takes to make positive changes . . . being consistent and persistent is what made it happen for me. The result is peace and happiness within myself, not depending on anyone else to get there and the feeling of pride associated with standing on my own two feet after stumbling so many times.

The biggest change is a wonderful new job where I have taken on the equivalent of three positions that have been merged into one job description . . . without being totally overwhelmed at a demanding schedule. Everything is falling into place at a very comfortable pace . . .

My new attitude as a result of finding that balance in my life I have been searching for is what I attribute to hitting the goals I have set for myself. Striking that balance has set into my personal life, making circumstances that were almost unbearable a few months ago very tolerable and pleasant today.

A big life lesson I am learning is being patient with myself and the people who surround me.

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Saturday, November 14, 2009


~ Blue Avenue | Elton John ~

Expect to have hope rekindled.
Expect your prayers to be
answered in wondrous ways.
The dry seasons in life do not last.
The spring rains will come again.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Never losing hope is always a wise decision.

Long distance love takes time and lots of patience
that strengthens love, faith and hope.  

Anything worth anything is worth it.

Blue Avenue | Elton John

I gotta quit this habit
It's like some drug for you
You've been my sweet sweet addict
I've been your little white boy blue
You've got the same obsession
We ain't no cat and mouse
You linger on my lips like confession
You laid the traps in this house
And it's no use each way we lose
You and me at the crossroads of Blue Avenue
Hit and run hearts collide here
True love passes through
Looks like we've got a wreck babe
Up on Blue Avenue
Up on Blue Avenue
Blue Avenue
Two hearts get entangled
Dirty minds they go to town
Everyone's got an angle
Little lies get spread around

Let them say what they want
You and me we already knew
Takes more than hocus pocus babe
To save you from Blue Avenue

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Friday, November 13, 2009

The burden of infinite mystery

~ My Impersonal Life | Three Dog Night ~

Release yourself from the burden

of trying to understand all,
let God carry that
burden of infinite mystery

The quote profoundly struck me today as I went through some of the thousands of emails that have accumulated while I've pondered the infinite mystery that is my life.

While the pondering has gone on way too long and in way too much detail in a sea of confusion by way of personal happiness, peace, sadness, conflicts, blah blah blah . . . I have managed to find a rather decent job in a world where becoming gainfully employed has become like hitting the jackpot at the casino.

Maybe I should have focused on finding that job rather than carry the burden of other things going on in my life . . . after all, it IS survival we are talking about. Perhaps the alternative of remaining unemployed any longer and the worrying that goes along with it should have taken front stage in my life. But it didn't . . . I released that task to God, knowing that he would eventually take care of that situation.

Now . . . if I could only release myself from some of those other burdens bothering me at this moment in my life . . . maybe I would enjoy and appreciate that mountain of peace, love and happiness that is staring me in the face.

Why do we as humans have to understand, make sense of and control every little detail of life? What will be will be anyway . . .

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