Thursday, November 18, 2010

Don't Settle For Second Best



We wonder why the divorce rate is so high

Why there are so many miserable
people walking this earth

Sometimes it is as simple as making
the mistake of settling for second best

Good things come to those who wait and we
should be absolutely true to ourselves and share
our life with the person who makes us deliriously happy.

Don’t settle for second best



One of my favorite movies of all time is The Bridges of Madison County. Aside from the wildly romantic storyline, it is about settling for second best in your life . . . not being true to yourself, sometimes for the sake of others.


This beautiful love story features Robert Kincaid, a traveling photographer for National Geographic who arrives in Madison County, Iowa to photograph covered bridges. He stops for directions at the home of Francesca Johnson. She is a disillusioned Italian war bride whose husband and children are temporarily out of town. The next four wonderful days awaken a deep, fulfilling love between Robert and Francesca. All too soon, Francesca must make the hardest choice of her life . . . stay in the life she settled for or leave and live happily ever after with the man of her dreams.


Why do people settle for “better than nothing” to begin with? Sooner or later “better . . . the one” will come along . . . and if you settled, like Francesca did in the movie, you are left to live a life of daydreams and wondering “what if” since most people do the honorable thing and stay in a less than happy situation because of obligation and circumstances . . . most often “for the sake of others”.


In the beginning, when there are no children, no husband . . . are we so afraid of being alone that we grab at the first chance that seems like contentment . . . hope it is true love, or will turn into it . . . then come the kids, and ultimately . . . regrets. Why not just wait? Is it the biological clock that is ticking? Everything that is meant to be is in God’s time . . . that is my belief.


My philosophy as far as relationships go is like this . . . commit yourself to someone you have intense chemistry for, someone you know you will never want to take your hands off of, someone who feels that way about you. I’ve blogged about my philosophy before, but it is too important to not say over and over again. Chemistry is the glue that holds two people together. It is not shallow to want this in a relationship. It does not always have to do with physical appearance . . . romantic chemistry is strange that way.


Everything about Robert became erotic to Francesca . . . they had that intense animal attraction chemistry for each other . . . it was electric. When she was with him, she felt like another woman, yet she was more herself than she ever was before. That is how the right one feels . . .

As a spiritual person, I believe in signs . . . if too many obstacles are put in the way of love, it is not meant to be. Impossible situations should be taken as not meant to be . . . love happens even when it is not right . . . sometimes love is not meant to be forever, but for a season and for a specific reason.

What a beautiful movie . . . I was in the mood for that type of story to feed my romantic side.

Those electric chemistry romantic feelings are worth waiting for.




Have you ever had a
Robert or Francesca in your life?
Did you give them up?
Or are you living your dream relationship?




39 comments:

Heather said...

Following from Traveling Through Thursday. I'd appreciate a follow back!
http://www.ourkidsmom.com

Living on Love and Cents said...

So true! I am a new follower from the blog hops. I look forward to reading more from you! Have a great day! www.livingonloveandcents.blogspot.com

Amanda said...

Those feelings are worth waiting for!

I'm a new follower visiting from Traveling Through Thursday! Thank you for this blog hop. I would appreciate a follow back if you have the time!

http://mommyof2monkies.blogspot.com/

Amanda

Jana said...

I believe that people need to choose love. Remember that old song "Love the one your with" I believe that. I have been married for 15 years and have learned a lot from my husband (who has been married twice, including me). He strives to love fully all the time, even when I am not very loveable. I love him all the more for that. If you live your life like that you will never be disappointed or be settling for second best.

Anyway, my name is Jana and I am following from www.adoctorandanurse.com. Come on by for a little visit. I woul love to meet you. Thanks for the amazing thought provoking post. Jana

Gina Alfani said...

Hi Jana . . . thanks for visiting and following my blog . . . love your comment :-)

I'm following you now . . . Happy Thursday!

Gina

April said...

i'm following you from the Traveling Thursday blog hop! i hope you'll come visit my blog and follow back :)

best,
april

www.marineparents.blogspot.com

Smiling is Good for Your Teeth said...

i am your newest follower and I love your blog title! have an awesome day!

Mel said...

Gina-Thank you for the visit and the follow. I am following you now. I like how you said don't settle for second best. I say amen to that.

Jaime ~ The Etsy Shop Spotlight said...

Hi there! New follower from Mingle Monday. I know I'm late lol I'm still catching up from Monday :) Have a great day!

Danielle said...

I am your newest follower and I look forward to hopping around your site and visiting all the other great blogs along the hop. You can find us at The Mommy Chronicles

Gina Alfani said...

Thank you all so much for visiting, commenting and following my blog . . . I am following all of you back :-)

Happy Thursday . . . Gina

Shinade said...

Oh that is one of my all time favorite movies too. I just loved it but it was so sad that they couldn't be together.

I think in today's time I would have simply had to leave and get divorced to be with my true soul mate. I'm just lucky I already am.

Thanks so much Gina for taking the time to stop by and be so supportive. I just grabbed your blog address for my new list too!!

Big hugs,
Jackie:-)

Gina Alfani said...

Hey Jackie . . . first, you are welcome . . .

Thank you so much for adding me to your new list :-)

I can watch that movie over and over again and never get tired of it . . . it is the romantic in me!!

(((HUGS))) Gina :-)

Misty said...

Thank you for the follow. I am now following you back.

BTW...you have an excellent blog...well done!

Misty
http://mistysthoughtstoo.blogspot.com

Gina Alfani said...

Thanks for visiting and following by blog Misty!!

Also . . . thanks for the compliment :-)

Gina

Kat said...

Thought provoking post. I just hopped over from Java's Friday 40 and Over.

Hugs,
Kat

Naila Moon of the Grey Wolf said...

Hi, thanks for coming by my blog. I have posted a new story since you were there so come back by of you like.

It took me two times but the 2nd time I found my true love of my life. Ours is like a dream. :)
Terrific post and now I am following you.

~Naila Moon

http://writing-out-of-the-blue.blogspot.com/2010/11/oh-so-true-thanksgiving-story.html

Gina Alfani said...

Kat and Naila Moon . . . thanks for visiting and following my blog . . . I enjoyed my visits to both of your blogs and will be a regular visitor :-)

Xenia said...

Thanks for stopping by - this is a great post, it really makes you think!

Have a wonderful weekend!

MidgetMomma said...

Hello! Happy friday! Im a new follower Hope you get a chance to come check my site Luxury Living Frugal Style @ www.midgetmomma.com out. Hope your Friday is great!

Beach Bungalow said...

It was a great movie, I agree!

Stop by the Beach Bungalow sometime!

S
xo

Anestazia said...

Thanks for linking up to It's Freakin' Friday! I'm following you back!

Anestazia <3
http://yourworkistodiscoveryourworld.blogspot.com/

Traci66 said...

Hello. I am a new follower and I would love for you to follow me too.
http://traci66.blogspot.com/2010/11/follow-me-friday_19.html

SalemMomma said...

Very true. I think sometimes it's easier to settle, than to search for the right one, which ends up making too many people unhappy.
I'm a new follower, hope you can stop by for a visit.
www.staying-me.com

Angela said...

Thanks for following Mommy Time Out

Robin said...

Thank you for dropping by my blog and following.

I gave up in my 30s and settled because I wanted kids before it was too late. Turns out that all I got was migraines and no kids. Well, no biological kids anyway. No, I am divorced and still have the migraines. Worst mistake ever. So, I agree wholeheartedly. Never settle. Even if it means letting go of things that you want (like kids). It is better to hold out.

Belly Charms said...

That is my favorite book and movie of all time. I have not read it in about 10 years. Thanks for reminding me of this story. I am now following you on this blog. Thanks for the Congrats on 1000.

Facing50Blog.com said...

Hi Gina,
Firstly thank you for following my blog and writing such a lovely comment on it.
Secondly, I'm horribly content in my relationship. I can hear evryone going yeurgh as they read this. I don't think Hubby is as content but hey tough luck mate you're stuck with me. I wasn't his first choice but I think I'm the best choice after all we're still manacled together after 23 years and like each others' company. Which is just as well since we now see each other 24/7. Life is too short to have regrets. Yes, wait for the right person if you can.
Finally, I agree with Belly Charms. It is one of my favourite books and films of all times. Thanks for reminding me of it.
Just signing up to follow you and looking forward to reading your other blogs too.

*Katia* said...

hi i've found you through lucas's journey blog
i'm your newest follower :)

kristen said...

I love that quote .... I waited till I was 30 to marry. No settling for 2nd best for me! :)

p.s. new blog follower via blog hopping! :)

Kristen

Tabetha said...

Good point. Who we married should not be taken lightly...I'm following you from "So Followed Saturday" :)

AMY said...

I Love that movie....I just watched it again recently.
I'm a new follower.

Amy's Life @
www.amyclairejacob.blogspot.com

Tough Cookie Mommy said...

Hi, Gina. I am passing by from Monday Mingle. Your blog is really looking good. I am now following and I want to thank you for participating in Monday Mingle and following my blog. Thanks for posting the Monday Mingle button so that more people can join us on Mondays.

http://toughcookiemommy.com

*Katia* said...

hi Gina thanks for stoppin by...
are you italian???

Kim@Chubby Cheeks Thinks said...

THanks so much for stopping by!! I'm following you now too! :)

Kim

Gina Alfani said...

Happy Sunday!! Thanks to you all for visiting and following my blog . . . I love hearing your thoughts on the post and have wondered if the chemistry thing is as important to others as it is to me. . .

Hey Katia . . . I am sicilian italian, born and raised in the US :-) I consider myself an italian-american . . .

JoJo said...

I agree with you on your philosophy concerning relationships!

Following you back and thanks for coming to visit!

Jenilee said...

New Follower here!

I would love if you could follow me back! :)

Six in the Nest
http://6inthenest.blogspot.com

Deb Chitwood said...

Great post, Gina! After a few boyfriends that didn't work out for one reason or another, I met my husband. I never doubted that he was "the one." After 35 years of marriage, we love each other more than ever!
http://RaisingFigureSkaters.com

Some of my web spaces


click to go to my personal website




My food blog MY NEW BLOG!!


Labels

1960's 1970's abuse acceptance accomplishment accomplishments acquaintances addiction adoration affair affection afraid agoraphobia ambitions anger anxiety appreciation aspirations attitude attraction authenticity awareness bad behavior bad days bad times balance balance of life beginning behavior being alone Betsy blahs blessings bliss boredom buddy burnout Buster challenges chances change changes cheating cheech and chong chemistry choices christmas cigarettes comfort zone communication compassion confidence conflict confusion consequences consideration contemplation contentment control controversy coping Corinthians13 courage creativity dating death deceit deception decision making denial depression desire desires destiny determination diet difficulties direction disagreements disappointment discipline dogs drama queen dreams eBay economy emotional abuse emotional baggage emotional commitment emotional state emotions employment empowerment encouragement endurance escape expectations facing problems failure failures faith family fantasy fate Fear fears feelings flower children focus forbidden love forgiveness free love free will freedom friends friendship frustration fulfillment future glass half full/half empty goals God good times grateful gratitude grief growth guidance guilt habits happiness happy harmony hate healing health helpless hippie culture hippies holidays home honesty hope hopeless hopes hugs humiliation hurt imagination impatience improvement inner strength inner struggle innovation insecurity inspiration intimacy intuition irritation job job satisfaction John Lennon joy jr Kiki kindness laughter lessons lies life life balance life challenges life change life changes life circumstances life experiences life lessons life partner life retrospect life situations life struggles lifestyle loneliness long distance relationship loss of control lost love lovers Mark Nepo marriage medication mental health Mimi miracles mistakes moderation moments money motivation natural disasters needs negative thoughts negativity new year Nolan normal nurturing obstacles online dating online love online romance opinions opportunity optimism overwhelm pace pain paranoia passion past path patience peace peace of mind perception perfection persistence personal growth personal power perspective Petey pets pity party planning plans pleasure positive attitude possibilities prayer pride priorities problems procrastination progress purpose quality of life quit smoking reaction reactions reality reasons regrets rejection relationship relationships relax relaxation resentment resolutions respect responsibility rest restlessness retirement revenge risk risks romance romantic love routine run away running away sacrifice sadness scared searching self-acceptance self-awareness self-confidence self-control self-esteem self-help self-improvement self-loathing self-love self-pity self-talk self-worth serendipity serenity setting goals settle sex sexual revolution simple abundance smoking society sorrow soul soulmates state of mind strength stress strong struggle struggles subconscious feelings success suffering suicide support suppressed emotions survival temper The Wedding Singer thinking time time travel tolerance toxic love transitions trigger day trouble true calling trust truth uncertainty unconditional love understanding unemployment unhappiness unresolved feelings valentines day value vision vulnerability wants war weakness wedding anniversary widow wisdom wishes work work achievements workaholic worries worry