Sunday, January 30, 2011

The destructive behavior of the doom and gloom mentality

~ Memory | Barbra Streisand ~

In my journey of peace, love and happiness through making incremental improvements in my life, my attention has been focused on negative thinking.  Although I've made great strides in moving toward thinking more positively, the negative thinking sometimes takes over.  This behavior is what I consider to be one of my biggest character flaws.

Do you pick out a single negative detail

and dwell  on it exclusively so that your

vision of all reality becomes darkened?

It happens to me . . . and it is a total sapper of peace, even though I can remain happy.  Everything in my life can be as perfect as it gets and one little thing that happens turns into "everything in my life is wrong" . . . the remnant of clinical depression and many disappointing years after becoming a widow.  

In my really bad times that have thankfully passed, I actually expected negative things to happen, even when there wasn't an inkling of disappointment on the horizon.  It is what I describe as the "doom and gloom mentality" where peace is impossible.

Just like anything else, realizing destructive behavior is the first step in making incremental improvements to conquer it.  The second step is recognizing it in its beginnings, learning how to turn it around and revert the situation to a positive one.

When I look back at my days heavily influenced by that mentality of doom and gloom and think of how I react to situations now, it is almost the equivalent of the difference between day and night.  Although it is easy for me to fall back into the trap, with every instance it becomes easier to turn my way of thinking around to one that brings me peace of mind, not doom and gloom.

Peace is a sunny reality

no matter what is going on in your life. 


amy @ mommetime said...

It is easy for me to fall back on behaviors that once served a useful purpose...but I find if I practice something long enough it becomes easier not to repeat that destructive behaviors that no longer work for me. I recently went through a really difficult period and I've had to 'work' at not reverting back to those 'old behaviors'...Work in progress ;-) Thank you for sharing. I saw your tweet and the title of your post caught my attention...thank you for the reminder. Amy

Diane said...

New follower from the blog hop!

Hyde said...

New follower from blog hop!

mamagonzo said...

Hi! I'm a new follower. I try hard not to think negatively, and focus on the positives in my life. Slowly getting better at it!

Matt and Leah said...

Hi! Love the positive advice on here! I'm a new follower from the blog hop. Hope you'll stop by and check out my blog :)


well-to-do said...

great blog :) nice message. new follower from maine... stop over and see us sometime, thx.


well-to-do: in search of health, wealth & wellness

Sara said...

Budget Savvy Diva - #1 frugal blog in Southern California, is your newest follower - love if you would head on over to and follow me back

Thanks! Sara

Andria said...

Great post! Im following from the Monday blog hop. I would LOVE a follow back! Thanks

Buffi Neal said...

Wishing you boat loads of peace. I do not know the feeling of being a widow, but it sounds like you are well on the road to healing.
My Wonderfully Dysfunctional Blog

Mizé said...

First, thank you for advertising in my blog trough EC.
Enjoyed your post very much.
It all starts with our thoughts. One negative thought leads to another and another in a spiral move.
Generalizing (expressed by words like "always", "everything", etc) and "black or white" thoughts (extremes) are two examples of cognitive distortions that lead to depression, anxiety and unhappiness.
The trick is to stop the nasty spiral is identifying those first thoughts and trying to replace them by more correct and adaptative ones. Not an easy job but surely can be done.

Denise said...

Hello! I’m following your blog via the Lovey Dovey Valentine's Hops!
Denise Kline
Klines Kandles
My Blog

Kathy said...

I recently read a book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It's about the laws of attraction. In a nutshell, if you think positive thoughts, positive things will happen to you. It's really interesting. Might help you out some.

Karren said...

Hi Gina, I want to again thank you for posting the banner for the Cupids Friends hop today 2/7 thats great.

I see my friends have preceeded me here, Denise and Kathy, neat ladies.

Thanks again, KArren

Pamela said...

Very good. Aknowledge the behavior is the first step. I'm a new follower from Linda's Lunacy.

Gina Alfani said...

Thank you and blessings to all . . . I fell into the trap again this week and pulling myself out, but way too slowly.

Following you all back!

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