Saturday, October 1, 2011

The foundation of a great relationship

Love is not enough.
It must be the foundation.
The beginning and the end.
Everything or nothing.
And nothing without truth.
Author unknown

~ You Spin Me Round | Dead or Alive ~

I want to take a part of the storyline from one of my favorite movies, "The Wedding Singer" to illustrate what I want to talk about . . . Trust, loyalty, respect in a relationship. Although I am speaking romantically, it also pertains to all types of relationships in life.

It is how we should treat any other fellow human being, no matter how much money they have, where they are born, what color their skin is, or what they do for a living.


A quick synopsis of the movie

The time is the mid 80’s . . . Robbie Hart is a wannabe rock-star, but in reality, he is New Jersey’s favorite wedding singer . . . the life of the party, that is, until his own fiancĂ©e leaves him at the altar. 
Heartbroken and dejected, Robbie can’t help but make every wedding he plays a disaster. Along comes Julia, a waitress who wins his affection. Problem . . . Julia is about to be married to a Wall Street shark. Robbie must pull off the performance of his life or the girl of his dreams will marry the shark who is all wrong for her.

Julia’s fiance was a cool guy with the good job, has money, dresses nice, drives an awesome car, he’s drop dead gorgeous and . . . oh yeah, he is already cheating on Julia before they are even married just because he can.

She feels it, she knows it . . . she’s not madly in love with him . . . so really, what difference does it make? He’ll give her a comfortable life.

But wait!

Isn’t that what is wrong with this world? We settle for what is going to be tolerable and comfortable, but not what is going to make us deliriously happy to want to jump out of bed everyday to a beautiful new day because we are so in love and so happy with our life?


Why is does it seem that everything
is all about the money?

But I digress . . . I wanted to talk about honesty in a relationship. Why can’t people be honest anymore? Why is there always a hidden agenda of some kind? Don’t people want to simply be happy anymore? Is happiness, respect and decency coming second to whatever else is more important?

I don’t understand . . .
what could be more important than that?

And what about living a lie? Don’t people have a conscience that they can tell a lie so easily and be so dishonest? Don’t they have a problem looking at themselves in the mirror and looking at someone who is actually betraying themselves by telling lies? 

We answer to God and he knows . . .

Maybe that is why JR and I had such a great marriage.  We were totally honest with each other . . . sometimes I wondered if it was such a good idea to be so honest, but in the long run, it was the good thing to do. We had total respect for each other as individuals, as two human beings living sharing our time together on earth in peace and harmony, respecting each other and doing the best we could to make the other happy.

The Captain and I have both brought emotional baggage to our new marriage.  However, past lessons can make our present lives so much happier.   Working through all the little things that two people encounter with total honesty when they first come together is so very important in building the foundation for an awesome relationship.

The good thing about second marriages . . . you know what NOT to do.  


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