Sunday, January 30, 2011

The destructive behavior of the doom and gloom mentality




~ Memory | Barbra Streisand ~




In my journey of peace, love and happiness through making incremental improvements in my life, my attention has been focused on negative thinking.  Although I've made great strides in moving toward thinking more positively, the negative thinking sometimes takes over.  This behavior is what I consider to be one of my biggest character flaws.


Do you pick out a single negative detail

and dwell  on it exclusively so that your

vision of all reality becomes darkened?


It happens to me . . . and it is a total sapper of peace, even though I can remain happy.  Everything in my life can be as perfect as it gets and one little thing that happens turns into "everything in my life is wrong" . . . the remnant of clinical depression and many disappointing years after becoming a widow.  

In my really bad times that have thankfully passed, I actually expected negative things to happen, even when there wasn't an inkling of disappointment on the horizon.  It is what I describe as the "doom and gloom mentality" where peace is impossible.

Just like anything else, realizing destructive behavior is the first step in making incremental improvements to conquer it.  The second step is recognizing it in its beginnings, learning how to turn it around and revert the situation to a positive one.

When I look back at my days heavily influenced by that mentality of doom and gloom and think of how I react to situations now, it is almost the equivalent of the difference between day and night.  Although it is easy for me to fall back into the trap, with every instance it becomes easier to turn my way of thinking around to one that brings me peace of mind, not doom and gloom.


Peace is a sunny reality

no matter what is going on in your life. 







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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Vibrational harmony, patience . . . or lack of




~ Mama Told Me | Three Dog Night ~



Exercising patience is putting me to the test!

The "vibrational harmony with the all-creating force that intended me here" mentioned in the above quote is messing with me . . . but it is not all bad.

The expected storm came through yesterday, knocking out our internet service.  The internet withdrawals were pretty bad.  In my quest to be grateful for simple things every day, I am very grateful to have the internet working again.  It is awful to be in the middle of projects and not be able to get to them.  I was so grateful for the nice repair guy who came to get the internet running again.

In the meantime . . . I'm still backing up the files on my failing external hard drive and running out of space.  Then out of nowhere . . . my graphics files appeared again, the ones I thought were lost and gone forever . . . big time grateful for that!!

For the part about being patient . . . aside from having to wait for the nice repair guy all last night until tonight . . . I'm being very impatient about moving folders and files around all of my drive that takes so much time.  I want to go poof with my magic wand and have them all organized and safe in their new home.  All this computer maintenance has been ponderous!!

All in all, it is one of those things that was working fine, then not, resulting in major sapping of time, energy and my patience.  I'm so tired of trying to squeeze 500 MG in a fraction of hard drive space . . . tomorrow we are getting another external hard drive to save my sanity . . .

But the biggest thing is the awesome news that my graphics were not lost forever . . . I am so happy!!

I'm way behind on normal stuff that I do every day . . . like visiting blogs and following those who have followed me . . . I haven't forgotten about you . . . hopefully I will be caught up by the weekend.

Happy Wednesday!



  




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Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Drama Queen Syndrome





Are you a drama queen?

Or perhaps a drama king?





~ Drama Queen | Lindsay Lohan ~


Maybe I'm overgeneralizing . . . as a seasoned drama queen will do . . . but I firmly believe that women don't corner the market on this syndrome.  

Guys . . . you know it . . . you can be just as dramatic as the most seasoned drama queen.

Are you guilty of taking a negative event to the outrageous proportion of a pattern of defeat that you just know will never end?  

Are you convinced that going on and on about it makes it all better?

It reminds me of an old saying that I have heard most of my life . . .
"make a mountain out of a mole hill"

I must admit to the title of Drama Queen . . . and yes, I'm well seasoned!  What can I say?  It is in my genes and ethnicity . . . I'm an italian with a bit of cuban thrown in . . . I was born with it . . . complete with the waving hands!

(The Captain is convinced that I would be unable to talk if my hands were tied . . . sometimes I know he is tempted!  Speaking of him . . . yes, he is a Drama King!)

At times it can be amusing, even comical, but taking it too far releases way too much negativity.  Life is too short for that!  Irritations at life situations should be taken seriously, but we can also laugh at the absurdity of it all rather than sap our energy on negativity.

 Neither may or may not change anything, but can ultimately make the way we handle it more pleasant. The alternative is similar to an irritating pack of little yappy barking dogs.

In my quest to make incremental improvements in my life, I am making a conscious effort to recognize the drama queen traits when the syndrome starts to rear it's ugly head and try to nip it in the bud while in the amusing stage.  

To mask the beginnings of something ugly about to happen, I am learning how to turn it into a comedy routine, quickly getting over the silly thing I was starting to get dramatic about.  It takes making a conscious effort to recognize it starting to happen.

My journey to peace, love and happiness has made me keenly aware of the "Drama Queen Syndrome" dangers . . . and my new-found awareness has made some potentially explosive situations comical, leading to smiles instead of frowns.

I wonder if there will be an "I told you so" type of
statement in the conversation when he wakes up!

So . . . come on, admit it . . . are you a drama queen . . . or king?

Is your partner a drama queen or king?

Both of you?

How do you handle it?

Inquiring minds want to know!



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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

How do you show you care?




~ In Neon | Elton John ~



“Love is not only something you feel.
It is something you do.”
David Wilkerson




Every time there is a horrific tragedy that captures the national
 or worldwide stage, reported on 24/7, I can't help but think about
the following 
post I wrote back in 2007.

There are families whose loved one was lost forever and those
teetering on the edge of life.  Life is short.  Sometimes shorter
than we expect it to be.  We tend to think that we will be on
this earth forever.  We aren't.

Tragedies happen to someone else . . . 
isn't that what we think?

None of us is immune from tragedy . . . and death.

Now that I have found my "significant other" . . . again . . .
I catch myself worrying about this kind of stuff since
tragedy hit my life and it scares me to even think
about going through it again.

Rather than worry about something that hasn't happened,
I choose to be aware of how fragile life is . . . and how
beautiful and precious love shared with another is
and cherish that love for what it is . . . a gift from God.




In her book, ‘No Less Than Greatness,’ Mary Manin Morrissey speaks of a research study that explored how family members communicate with each other. Apparently, the most frequently spoken words between husbands, wives, sisters and brothers were “What’s on?” and “Move.”

She goes on to say, “We all desire great relationships but often settle for just getting by. Many of us have stopped questioning the fact that we may know fictitious TV families more intimately than we do our own.”


The most powerful force in our lives is our ability to love.
Indeed, it’s the most basic essence of who we are.
The whole idea of compassion is based on a
keen awareness of the other.
The whole purpose of life is to live by love.


Thomas Merton

Source: Higher Awareness




One of the most important messages I want to get across in my writing is to not wait until it is too late to realize how important someone you love is to you.

While telling them you love them is so important and the words “I love you” should be expressed sincerely and often, actions speak louder than words.




To my new readers . . . I am a widow who was happily married 22 years, never expecting to be single again . . . never wanting to be single again since my husband and I had a charmed life. We worked hard, partied hard and were so happy . . . although it was not perfect.  Nothing is perfect.

The tragic events of September 11 changed our lives. It horrified both of us and made us realize how fragile life is. We made a pact on 9/11/01 to never go to bed angry, always treat each “goodbye” as the last time we were to see each other and to find little ways of expressing love for each other.

It was the happiest year of our married life.

He died suddenly on 10/8/02.


Do you know how important of a gift that year was to me? 

 We had a great marriage, but the last year was awesome . . . the way it should be every day.

Remember my story the next time you say “goodbye” to someone you love.



How do you experience and express
your love for the people in your life?





P.S. I Love You My Captain


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Monday, January 10, 2011

Fantasy meets reality





~ Thank You | Dido ~


Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream
you were having asleep on your shoulder.

It is where fantasy meets reality.

The holidays were awesome, the new year has been blissful.  Seems like I've been walking around in a lazy haze since the holidays.  I'm genuinely happy for the first time in way too many years!

Long distance relationships can become reality :)

Love entered my life and it seems as if nothing else matters.  There is a line in Dido's song Thank You that reminds me of exactly how I feel . . .

"Even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue,
Because you're near me"


Isn't it awesome when
 fantasy turns into reality?

It can also be seen as answered prayer
on a grand scale!

Has there been a time in your life when one
of your fantasies came true?







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Saturday, January 1, 2011

What is love?






~ Lovesong (Extended Mix) | The Cure ~


Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.


L o v e N e v e r E n d s



L o v e N e v e r F a i l s



Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8


It is my favorite interpretation of perfect love and my favorite passage from the Bible . . . in my opinion, the most beautiful words ever written.

Love is a many splendored thing with a range of meanings as deep as the ocean . . . all beautiful since love is the most important emotion there is.

There is romantic love which transforms an otherwise normal woman into feeling like the queen of the world. Romantic love manifests itself into passionate ”forever love” . . . being a part of another person, facing life together as partners, experiencing good times and bad supporting each other . . . the end of loneliness, the end of fear of being alone, security, the sense of belonging and the awesome feeling of the caring and nurturing of another person. Finding true, forever love with another human being is the most beautiful thing that can happen in anyone’s life. That just touches on the romantic side of love.

Then there is the nurturing part of love as in the love of a child or the love . . . the love of a favorite thing, as in the love of music.

All types of love change with intensity and the passing of time takes love through differing stages. The exploration of love is my favorite journey through peace, love and happiness . . .





This post was written before I found love again.

It is my first post of the year since love is one of the themes
of my blog . . . and this is one of my favorite posts of all time.

I dedicate this post to The Captain, who has enhanced my
life beyond my prayers and wildest dreams.

I love you sweetie . . . Happy New Year

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