Thursday, December 11, 2014

Sentimental Lady . . . my favorite post from the past

Sentimental Lady | Bob Welch

As another holiday season approaches, this will be my second "normal" holiday since I became a widow.

As with last year, I'm giving thanks  and being grateful for what we have individually been blessed with . . . good and bad.

I continue to be grateful and thankful for finding my path . . . and the one to love and be loved by that I was searching for.  The awful feeling of dreading the approaching holidays of the past decade or so has been replaced with child-like anticipation, like it used to be before my world was turned upside down with the death of  my first husband.

While I don't have a problem with the festivities of the holiday and actually looked forward to them this year, I still can't handle decorating the house for Christmas.  I just can't do it and don't want to.

I will never EVER forget those awful tortured feelings of completely dreading the holiday and have a special place in my heart for those less fortunate . . . those who are dealing with those emotions this holiday season.

The following entry is from the nightmare phase of my life and it is like I have always said . . . this too shall pass . . . and it did.  Thank God!

The following entry was originally posted
on December 4, 2007 and
remains my favorite post ever.

December . . . the magical time of year is upon us . . . yet in contrast, brings us the longest and darkest nights of the year . . . perhaps delivering the mystical powers of the moon.

Isn't it all an illusion anyway,
how we perceive our lives?

Where we are in life . . . happy time,
 sad time, time of transition?

The magical season is believed by many to hold miracles . . . Santa Claus and fairy tales. Miracles don't always come in pretty boxes wrapped up with beautiful bows . . . sometimes they don't come at all. What deems one person worthy of a miracle and the other not? Was it the degree of naughty or nice? I don't know and I'm trying to figure it out . . . who holds that magic wand?

As I weave my tapestry of contentment for this magical season, joy comes in the form of memories of Christmas past filled with love and laughter in my heart. I miss JR so much that I STILL scream into a pillow to let the sadness out. It does help . . . but the withdrawals for a person that you loved and lost can't be compared to anything else in life.

Every year as the pumpkins are decorated and set out in the night with candlelight to illuminate the darkness, the dread creeps up on me . . . the witching hour has arrived and it is time to be reminded that I should be joyous and happy. But I'm not . . . my fairy tale ended. The one who holds the magic wand is nowhere to be found . . . the only pumpkins I see light the night . . . at least it is not total darkness.

I'm blessed and grateful for contentment of survival during my life's transitions . . . I have everything I need, even if not what I want. What I want lives in my memories and this season reminds me of what I lost . . . yet in this magical time I know miracles happen at their appropriate time when least expected.

My real life fairy tale began on a Christmas night long ago when I thought the one holding the magic wand had forgotten about me another year. I met JR on Christmas night in a club that played country music, where a pop music princess and a rock & roll music freak would normally never be found . . . but there we were, both in an unlikely place on an unlikely night . . . the miracle of destiny awaited us and lasted a lifetime. Yes, I still believe in miracles and never lose hope that I will find that joy and happiness again when destiny calls me again.

While this is a sad time of year for me, I have my family and it is getting easier as the years go by. Although I struggle with it, I am fairly well adjusted and can handle it. However, there are people in this world who have no one . . . this is the time of year suicides are on the rise . . . the joyous season is also the lonely season to many who have experienced some type of loss or hardship in their life. Reach out to someone you know who is not as fortunate as yourself this time of year . . . it could make such a difference in their life . . .

I hope rather than bringing you down, I made you think about how fragile life is and to be so grateful for and appreciate those you love. Love like there is no tomorrow . . .

Happy holidays my friends . . . peace, love and happiness . . .

Sentimental Lady | Bob Welch

You are here and warm

But I could look away and you'd be gone

Cause we live in a time

When meaning falls in splinters from our lives

And that's why I've travelled far

Cause I come so together where you are

And all of the things that I said that I wanted

Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you

14 joys and a will to be merry

And all of the things that we say are very

Sentimental gentle wind

Blowing through my life again

Sentimental Lady

Gentle one

Now you are here today

But easily you might just go away

Cause we live in a time

When paintings have no color, words don't rhyme

And that's why I've travelled far

Cause I come so together where you are

And all of the things that I said that I wanted

Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you

14 joys and a will to be merry

And all of the things that we say are very

Sentimental gentle wind

Blowing through my life again

Sentimental Lady

Gentle one

You are here and warm

But I could look away and you'd be gone

Cause we live in a time

When meaning falls in splinters from our lives

And that's why I've travelled far

Cause I come so together where you are

Yes and all of the things that I said that I wanted

Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you

14 joys and a will to be merry

And all of the things that we say are very

Sentimental gentle wind

Blowing through my life again

Sentimental Lady

Gentle one

Sentimental gentle wind

Blowing through my life again

Sentimental Lady

Gentle one

Sentimental gentle wind

Blowing through my life again

Sentimental Lady

Gentle one

Well sentimental gentle wind

Blowing through my life again

Sentimental Lady

Gentle one

read more

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Getting the groove back

~ Serious | Culture Beat ~

    Get serious with your life?  Really?

Seriously, I still don't have a complete grasp of what I want to do when I grow up.  The big picture is a lot more focused, however, there is so much in between getting there and here in the today.

Although I had joined the world of employment when The Captain moved in with me, then he joined that world and we eventually settled on retirement until we could figure out the rest.

A new relationship needs time to develop into a life of its own. The two people need to define, experience and constantly tweak as individuals need to change and grow.  We have been so fortunate and I am so grateful we have had this time to find ourselves individually and each other as a couple in our new reality after living and sharing another lifetime with other people.

Second chances in life are awesome!

Getting the groove back into a normal life and tweaking and perfecting the groove is a lifelong learning experience!  Don't you think?  Tweaking our lives keeps from having a boring life, which is a good thing!

One thing The Captain has taught me is serious positivity with no room for negativity.

Although I realized this many years ago, it has not been easy since I grew up in a fairly negative environment that was my normal.  It still is to a certain extent, but I am able to switch gears rather quickly to get back into that positive groove.  When I do, the whole world looks different in a good way thanks to my sweetie.

It has been a long journey, but I really think the time around the following post was my turning point.  The Captain was already in my life and I had to get  serious about getting my groove back!

This following post was originally posted
 on November 14, 2010:

After escaping to the outdoors and away from this computer, the blahs I was experiencing yesterday magically disappeared.  It is easy to forget to keep a positive balance in our lives when we are in the midst of things we get bogged down with.     

Life is somewhat of a never-ending "to do list" . . . you gotta walk away from it at times . . . escape in whatever way that works for you in order to keep the balance necessary for an awesome quality of life.

Reactions and responses need to be in the present rather than the past in order to positively respond to life circumstances . . . easier said than done . . . it is sometimes a difficult balance.

The key is understanding the reason behind the reactions, especially the negative ones. The thoughts that immediately inspire the reaction need to be positive in order to turn the tides and make unpleasant experiences tolerable and easier to cope with.

As long as I can remember, I have journaled daily about my emotions, happenings, reactions and outcomes . . . it was easy for me to go back and identify my natural impulses and reactions to problems. At times, the analysis of my emotions is a ponderous process, however necessary to leading a normal life after a life trauma.

The difficult part is changing those reactions by not identifying them with anything from a unique past experience . . . it is gone and must be released. Replace negative with positive thoughts . . . attitude adjustment.

A life of peace, love and happiness is all about maintaining a positive attitude through good times and bad experiences . . . they all eventually pass . . . better to experience the situation with a healthy state of mind.  A healthy state of mind knows when to escape and chill out a bit . . . what I call "getting your groove back".  

I'm working on it . . .

read more

Monday, December 1, 2014

Finding Your Joy

~ Happy [Ballroom Version] | Pharrell Williams ~

Some wise words from Daily Om about happiness and joy . . .

Being happy doesn’t come naturally to everybody. It is your birthright to be happy, choose happiness everyday. Our lives are rich with potential sources of happiness, but sometimes we become victims of negative thinking because we believe that focusing on all that has gone wrong will provide us with the motivation we need to face the challenges of survival.

When we choose to focus on what makes us happy, however, a shift occurs in the fabric of our existence. Finding something to be happy about every single day can help this shift take place. The vantage points from which we view the world are brought into balance, and we can see that being alive truly is a gift to be savored. There is always something we can be happy about—it is simply up to us to identify it.
On one day, we may find happiness in a momentous, life-changing event such as a marriage or the birth of a child. On another day, the happiness we experience may be a product of our appreciation of a particularly well-brewed cup of a tea or the way the sun shines on a leaf. If we discover that we literally cannot call to mind a single joyful element of existence, we should examine the cause of the blockage standing between us and experiencing happiness.

Keeping a happiness journal is a wonderful way to catalog the happiness unfolding all around us so that joy has myriad opportunities to manifest itself in our lives. Writing about the emotions we experience while contemplating joy may give us insight into the factors compelling us to resist it.
Happiness may not always come easily into your life. You have likely been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is one of sadness, anger, guilt, or fear.

To make joy a fixture in your existence, you must first accept that it is within your power to choose happiness over unhappiness every single day. Then, each time you discover some new source of happiness, the notion that the world is a happy place will find its way more deeply into your heart. On this day, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.

Source: The Daily Om

read more

Friday, November 21, 2014

Attitude and adjustments

~ Fly Away (Acoustic) | Lenny Kravitz ~

Attitude is a complex mental state.

Definitely an understatement!

It can be a mix of feelings, beliefs and values
. . . a combination of infinite variables.

Sometimes attitude is a result of a simple feeling.

Attitude can make the difference between
a positive or negative result.

Attitude builds perception in someone else's
mind whether it is true or false.

"You cannot control what happens to you,
but you can control your attitude toward
what happens to you, and in that, you will
be mastering change rather than allowing
it to master you."
(Brian Tracy)

"Men are anxious to improve their circumstances,
but are unwilling to improve themselves; they
therefore remain bound."
(James Allen)

"When you can live with all your opposite qualities,
you will be living your total self."
(Deepak Chopra)

Attitude adjustments don't mean changing who you are . . .
it is changing how you choose to react to a situation.

Always be true to yourself!

read more

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Don't settle

~ Wish For Something More | Amy Macdonald ~

"Don't settle because you're afraid you won't find something better. Don't compromise because you don't want to be alone. Give your perfect life, lover and job time and space to grow into our life. 

Don't rush, don't hurry. Take your time, be easy, have patience. Allow everything to come to you with your subtle guiding and intending. Your days of constant chasing with little reward are over. Everything you've ever wanted and more coming to you, you just have to let it in with love, receptivity and non-judgment."

(Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love)

"The key is to listen to your heart and let it carry you in the direction of your dreams. I've learned that it's possible to set your sights high and achieve your dreams and do it with integrity, character, and love. And each day that you're moving toward your dreams without compromising who you are, you're winning."

(Michael Dell, founder of Dell Computers)

Why do we settle for less than our ideal?


It doesn't matter what the situation is . . . settling for a relationship that is way less than perfect because you just want to have someone in your life, rushing through a project and not even attempting to do our best because we just want to get it over with, impatient with ourselves to put forward enough effort to meet a challenge . . . I could go on and on.

Settling is a personal choice and each of us as individuals control our choices.  The key is to realize this.

It is better to want what you don't have than to have what you don't want.

Make choices that coincide with your ultimate goals . . . don't sell yourself short and believe in yourself . . . we all deserve the happiness it brings.

Don't spend your life wishing for something more . . . don't settle for anything less than your dreams and aspirations.

read more

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Facing problems

~ Runaway | Nelly Furtado ~

Facing Problems

Running Away Versus Moving Forward

Source: The Daily OM

There are times when change—moving to a new city or a new home, or changing careers—is the right thing at the right time. But there are also times when the urge for change is really just a desire to run away from problems that need to be faced rather than avoided. These are the kinds of problems that recur in our lives. For example, issues with coworkers that seem to arise at every job we take, or repeatedly getting into unhealthy relationships. A move might temporarily distract us, and even cure the problem for a time, simply by taking us out of the situation in which the problem fully manifested itself. 

However, the problem will eventually appear again in our new situation.

One way to make sure you aren’t running away from your problems is to notice whether you are moving towards something that is exciting in its own right, as opposed to something that is appealing only because it is not where you are now. For example, if you are leaving a city because you feel you can’t afford it, you could be reinforcing poverty consciousness, and you might find that you are unable to make ends meet in your new city as well. It would ultimately be less of an effort to stay where you are and look more deeply into your beliefs about money. You may discover that as you address these issues, you are able to make more money simply by changing your mindset. You may still decide to move, but it will be an act with a positive intention behind it and not an escape, which could make all the difference.

Any pain involved in facing our issues is well worth the effort in the end. When we face our problems instead of avoiding them, we free our energy and transform ourselves from people who run away into people who move enthusiastically forward.

It is all about fear.

Fear keeps our present situation alive, no matter how awful or how much we desire to make the change.  It is easier to sweep it under the rug and just run away from whatever it is.  Been there, done that!

Doesn't fear produce negative thinking?

Just a change in our mindset to one of a positive nature can make the changes possible.  Most of the time, it takes small steps, depending on the fear.

If you are stuck in an emotional rut, perhaps it is time to assess your situation, define your goals and break down the necessary steps to make it happen.

Write them down!  Start a journal to track your progress.  The motivation to keep going is greater when I periodically go back and see how far I have come with my fears.

One of the most important questions to ask yourself . . .

Why am I scared?

Be honest with yourself!

read more

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Recharging my batteries

~ Happy Nation | Ace of Base ~

Sometimes I just have to take a break from the computer and recharge my batteries.  Actually, I have taken a break from everything but relaxing.

We took advantage of a special that our cable provider was offering on premium channels and I have really enjoyed watching movies.  Quite the contrast from my normal routine of watching too much cable news, food and home channels.  In the past it was very difficult for me to sit down, relax and watch an entire movie. Now I can!

My new doctor has completely revamped my meds and I have not felt this good in years.  I have weaned myself off of the habit forming drugs my former doctors have prescribed.  It has made all the difference in the world.  

While I was transitioning to the new meds, it was a great time to recharge my batteries and be grateful for everything I have been blessed with.

Seems like overnight, those things that have been weighing heavily on our shoulders are being solved . . . like, we are finally getting a new well drilled and I will be so grateful for running water again . . . and . . . our income has doubled since my social security situation has been resolved.  Happy times!!

The Captain and I are living one of my favorite sayings . . . "good things happen for those who wait!"

read more

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Hope, Faith and A Positive Attitude

~ This Is Your Night | Amber ~

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.” 

Emily Dickinson

Hope is an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large 

Dr. Barbara L. Fredrickson argues that hope comes into its own when crisis looms, opening us to new creative possibilities.  Frederickson argues that with great need comes an unusually wide range of ideas, as well as such positive emotions as happiness and joy, courage, and empowerment, drawn from four different areas of one’s self: from a cognitive, psychological, social, or physical perspective.


Faith and hope are two words that are often confused, although there is a difference between the two words. 

The word ‘faith’ is used in the sense of ‘trust’. 

The word ‘hope’ is used in the sense of ‘anticipation’.

A positive attitude originates with faith and trust that what you are anticipating will happen.

Peace and happiness happens when all these things happen in harmony with each other.

read more

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Depression and Suicide

This post is dedicated to Robin Williams . . . may he rest in peace

According to Wikipedia, "depression is a mental disorder characterized by a pervasive and persistent low mood that is accompanied by low self-esteem and by a loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Suicide is often committed out of despair, the cause of which is frequently attributed to a mental disorder such as depression."

In my opinion, depression is not understood by society in general. Many have the opinion that depression is just an imagined ploy to get attention.  

"Get over it" they will tell the depressed person, making that dark tunnel darker, the light at the end of that tunnel fainter.  The depressed person is left feeling like a freak of nature.  

You just don't "get over" depression!  Those who don't care enough to understand the depression of a loved one should be ashamed of themselves! Depression is real and is painful, especially when the support of loved ones is not there. 

Many who are depressed will probably not admit to being depressed due to the stigma associated with it, making it a very dangerous situation.  There are tools to deal with depression, but without seeking professional help, a dangerous situation can become worse.  

At best they will live a relatively sad life. 

When they can't "get over" the depression, the decision is made by that person whose pain is so awful that they can't take it another day, with that dark tunnel in total darkness . . . that person will be left with the feeling they have no other option in life but to end it.

I found a wonderful article on this subject . . . 

read more

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Bad experiences . . . grateful?

~ Love Is All There Is | Sheryl Crow ~

There was a time I had found love and had finally trusted another person enough to let him into my life in a meaningful way.  Probably like many other long distance relationships, it was a rocky road and it was a very confusing time, yet happy at the same time.  Talk about a roller coaster ride!

The Captain and I had already met in person.  He had visited several times and all I knew is that I was madly in love with him.  But there were other considerations to ponder.  They were life changing times!

At the same time, I had decided it was time to get a real job, so I was knee deep in the search for employment and all the frustrations associated with that.

I always write about how important music is in my life.  The words of this song constantly ran through my thoughts.  Love is all there is.

It was a time that my faith carried me to everything I wanted.  The Captain eventually moved to Florida and I found that fulfilling job I was searching for.

This post was originally published
on October 31, 2009

Nothing is a waste of time
if you use your experience wisely.

Auguste Rodin, 1840-1917

Even bad experiences are life lessons that prepare you
to cope with whatever fate has in store for you.

I'm grateful for all the bad experiences in my
past . . . they have made me the person I am today
and the stronger person I will be tomorrow.

read more


~ Lifetimes | Sheryl Crow ~

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."

Mother Teresa

"Even in the worst of times, 
I give my best to you."

lyrics from the song Lifetimes

It is the best you can do!
Above all, be grateful.

read more

Friday, August 1, 2014

Peace and contentment . . . the basics

~ Got To Be Real (Special Disco Version) | Cheryl Lynn ~

Do you sense the peace and contentment
that can come from an appreciation of one's
place in the cosmos?

How do we get there with the complexities
and pressures of our current lifestyles?

Perhaps it's a matter of becoming aware of what we truly have
as opposed to what our egos believe we need. If we look closely,
we may find that our ego "needs" are just desires.

When you find yourself longing for something, stop and ask . . .

What is missing from my life?

Is it a need?

What are the essential qualities of what I seek?

How can I experience that now?

As I look back at my life, I always thought I knew what I wanted.

It wasn't until the death of my partner and re-evaluating my life over and over again, locking myself away from society and giving myself more than a couple of years to "find myself" that I truly know what I want and need, along with the essential qualities that always found me wondering what was missing in my life.

Finally . . . I'm there.

Allow my life lesson to show that achieving
peace and contentment are simple in nature
by asking yourself the right questions and
moving toward your goals at your own pace.

Be true to yourself!

read more

Visit our Etsy shop

Some of my web spaces

click to go to my personal website

My food blog MY NEW BLOG!!


1960's 1970's abuse abusive behavior acceptance accomplishment accomplishments acquaintances addiction adoration adversity affair affection afraid agoraphobia ambitions anger anticipation anxiety appreciation aspirations attitude attraction authenticity awareness bad behavior bad days bad times balance balance of life beginning behavior being alone Betsy blahs blessings bliss boredom buddy burnout Buster challenges chances change changes cheating cheech and chong chemistry choices christmas cigarettes comfort zone communication compassion confidence conflict confrontation confusion consequences consideration contemplation contentment control controversy coping Corinthians13 courage creativity crossroads cupid dating death deceit deception decision making defense mode denial depression desire desires destiny determination diet difficulties direction disagreements disappointment discipline dogs doubt drama queen dreams eBay economy ego emotional abuse emotional baggage emotional commitment emotional state emotions employment empowerment encouragement endurance escape expectations facing problems failure failures faith family fantasy fate Fear fears feelings flower children focus forbidden love forgiveness free love free will freedom friends friendship frustration fulfillment future glass half full/half empty goals God good times grateful gratitude grief growth guidance guilt habits happiness happy hard headed harmony hate healing health helpless hippie culture hippies holidays home honesty hope hopeless hopes hugs humiliation hurt identity imagination impatience improvement inner strength inner struggle innovation insecurity inspiration intimacy intuition irritation job job satisfaction John Lennon joy jr Kiki kindness laughter lessons lies life life balance life challenges life change life changes life circumstances life experiences life lessons life partner life retrospect life situations life struggles lifestyle loneliness long distance relationship loss of a pet loss of control lost love lovers lust managing anxiety Mark Nepo marriage medication mental health Mimi miracles mistakes moderation moments money motivation moving on natural disasters needs negative thoughts negativity new year Nolan normal nurturing obstacles office politics online dating online love online romance opinions opportunity optimism options overwhelm pace pain paranoia passion past path patience peace peace of mind perception perfection persistence personal growth personal power perspective Petey pets physical abuse pity party planning plans pleasure positive attitude positive thinking positivity possibilities prayer pride priorities problems procrastination progress prosperity purpose quality of life quit smoking reaction reactions reality reasons regrets rejection relationship relationships relax relaxation resentment resolutions respect responsibility rest restlessness retirement retreat revenge risk risks romance romantic love routine run away running away sacrifice sadness sanctuary satisfaction scared searching self-acceptance self-awareness self-confidence self-control self-defeating behavior self-esteem self-help self-improvement self-loathing self-love self-pity self-talk self-worth serendipity serenity setting goals settle sex sexual revolution simple abundance smoking society solitude sorrow soul soulmates state of mind strength stress strong struggle struggles stubborn subconscious feelings success suffering suicide support suppressed emotions survival surviving grief temper terrorism The Wedding Singer thinking thoughts time time travel tolerance toxic love toxic people toxic relationship tragedy transitions trigger day trouble true calling trust truth uncertainty unconditional love understanding unemployment unhappiness unresolved feelings valentines day value victims vision vulnerability wants war weakness wedding anniversary widow wisdom wishes work work achievements workaholic worries worry