Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Dealing with a toxic relationship?

Toxic | Britney Spears

"If you grew up with a toxic parent, a toxic sibling or other close family member, you are likely more vulnerable to toxic relationships as an adult."

According to an article in Psychology Today, there are ways of dealing with a toxic person.

First of all, how do you know you are in a toxic relationship?  

Here are some signs:

  • When you see the person, you come away feeling down on yourself
  • You are plagued by guilt in the relationship
  • The other person is focused mostly on getting his/her own needs met
  • You often feel manipulated or controlled, one-down, or shamed
  • The other person repeatedly hurts you, and then expects you to act as if nothing happened
Recipients of the toxicity often don't see themselves as being in a toxic relationship.  As they take the behavior of the toxic person, all they want to do is make it better.  Some may think they deserve it and blame themselves for what is wrong in the relationship.  Perhaps too much compassion for the other person?  That just results in making excuses for what is wrong.  

You can do something about it . . .

Read the article to get the detailed explanations of strategies that may help you:

  1. Never let them pull you down to their level. Fighting back at their level will not work and you will end up feeling guilty.
  2. Stop caring so much. Protect yourself!
  3. Become more self-focused. It’s very likely that caring too little about yourself made you vulnerable to your person in the first place.  Begin to think more about how you feel and what you need.  
  4. Stop falling for games and manipulations and stop participating. Take your power back.
  5. Be cordial. Being cordial gives you the upper hand in a healthy, non-toxic way.
  6. Hold him/her responsible for their actions. Be sure to do this in your own mind, at least.
  7. Distancing and set your boundaries.  Emotionally or physically, or preferably both.
  8. Live well.  If the toxic person is someone who will always be in your life, then your goal is to thrive in spite of the toxins. Make good choices and protect yourself!
Don't ever forget that you deserve to be treated fairly, respectfully and honestly at all times, by all people . . . anything less is unacceptable!

read more

Monday, March 6, 2017

Keep your goals on track

"You can keep your goals on track by concentrating on the facts of the here and now rather than your reactions to the past or your anxieties regarding the future. By focusing on what you need to do in the present to attain your goals, you can avoid being distracted by the unknown." 

Source:  The Daily Om

The quote is an excerpt of my horoscope for today and it can't be closer to the truth.   Self-defeating behavior distracts from focusing positively on plans for goals and ambitions.   

While it sounds like an excuse, behaviors that have become routine are subconscious and automatic . . . at least that is how I see it.

Change the behavior to remain aware, focused and positive.

read more

Visit our Etsy shop

Some of my web spaces

click to go to my personal website

My food blog MY NEW BLOG!!


1960's 1970's abuse abusive behavior acceptance accomplishment accomplishments acquaintances addiction adoration adversity affair affection afraid agoraphobia ambitions anger anticipation anxiety appreciation aspirations attitude attraction authenticity awareness bad behavior bad days bad times balance balance of life beginning behavior being alone Betsy blahs blessings bliss boredom buddy burnout Buster challenges chances change changes cheating cheech and chong chemistry choices christmas cigarettes comfort zone communication compassion confidence conflict confrontation confusion consequences consideration contemplation contentment control controversy coping Corinthians13 courage creativity crossroads cupid dating death deceit deception decision making defense mode denial depression desire desires destiny determination diet difficulties direction disagreements disappointment discipline dogs doubt drama queen dreams eBay economy ego emotional abuse emotional baggage emotional commitment emotional state emotions employment empowerment encouragement endurance escape expectations facing problems failure failures faith family fantasy fate Fear fears feelings flower children focus forbidden love forgiveness free love free will freedom friends friendship frustration fulfillment future glass half full/half empty goals God good times grateful gratitude grief growth guidance guilt habits happiness happy hard headed harmony hate healing health helpless hippie culture hippies holidays home honesty hope hopeless hopes hugs humiliation hurt identity imagination impatience improvement inner strength inner struggle innovation insecurity inspiration intimacy intuition irritation job job satisfaction John Lennon joy jr Kiki kindness laughter lessons lies life life balance life challenges life change life changes life circumstances life experiences life lessons life partner life retrospect life situations life struggles lifestyle loneliness long distance relationship loss of a pet loss of control lost love lovers lust managing anxiety Mark Nepo marriage medication mental health Mimi miracles mistakes moderation moments money motivation moving on natural disasters needs negative thoughts negativity new year Nolan normal nurturing obstacles office politics online dating online love online romance opinions opportunity optimism options overwhelm pace pain paranoia passion past path patience peace peace of mind perception perfection persistence personal growth personal power perspective Petey pets physical abuse pity party planning plans pleasure positive attitude positive thinking positivity possibilities prayer pride priorities problems procrastination progress prosperity purpose quality of life quit smoking reaction reactions reality reasons regrets rejection relationship relationships relax relaxation resentment resolutions respect responsibility rest restlessness retirement retreat revenge risk risks romance romantic love routine run away running away sacrifice sadness sanctuary satisfaction scared searching self-acceptance self-awareness self-confidence self-control self-defeating behavior self-esteem self-help self-improvement self-loathing self-love self-pity self-talk self-worth serendipity serenity setting goals settle sex sexual revolution simple abundance smoking society solitude sorrow soul soulmates state of mind strength stress strong struggle struggles stubborn subconscious feelings success suffering suicide support suppressed emotions survival surviving grief temper terrorism The Wedding Singer thinking thoughts time time travel tolerance toxic love toxic people toxic relationship tragedy transitions trigger day trouble true calling trust truth uncertainty unconditional love understanding unemployment unhappiness unresolved feelings valentines day value victims vision vulnerability wants war weakness wedding anniversary widow wisdom wishes work work achievements workaholic worries worry