Cujo revisited

The movie "Cujo" was on cable tonight and watching it reminded me of the most crazy pet I have ever had in my life . . .
Buddy is no longer with me . . . I love all types of animals and dogs in particular.  Ever since I was a little girl there were lots of dogs in my life.  They are usually all sweetness and love . . . an enhancement to our lives, like an awesome life partner.  Not this dog . . .
Although I was the one who brought him in as a stray, he never really liked me for some reason.  Maybe I reminded him of someone who had mistreated him.  He was a "man dog" . . . loved my husband and followed him everywhere.  My husband adored this dog and spoiled him rotten.
It seems like when my husband passed away, Buddy developed behavioral/emotional problems . . . my vet recommended a pet psychologist.  No kidding!  He had always shown me his teeth if my presence was irritating him, but as time went on, it became a real problem.
The following is a post from a closed blog . . . check out the slide show and see how he'd show his teeth like a little demon dog . . . he was Cujo revisited.


This post was originally published
on September 13, 2007

He is Buddy, my rat terrier.

One of his nicknames is Cujo . . . if you saw the movie, you can guess why. He scares me sometimes and I have the utmost respect for him when his top lip starts to quiver. 

 Yeah, he gets his way!

He's spoiled, rules the house and is the best little watch dog I've ever had in my life.

I would love more dogs, but . . . OMG jealous

Buddy would eat these little guys for lunch

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Wants, needs and a little faith

In the midst of rough financial times, there is always that little something we want, but don't necessarily need . . . a little treat, a reward for surviving the struggle.

The following article comes from the Guideposts newsletter, which always provides me with a wealth of inspiration along with renewed faith and hope, like a reminder that God never gives us more than we can handle . . . and even the lesson of patience.

I couldn’t afford to buy a little gift for myself. 

But I could dream, couldn't I?

By Vickie Apicella, Port Orange, Florida

I stared longingly at the pair of brown clogs on the department store display rack. They seemed to be calling out my name. I tried to remind myself that I was only here today to buy my mother a special birthday gift. I couldn’t afford anything more. But now, these seemingly perfect brown flats were breaking down my resolve.


I guess you could say I’m a bit of a shop-a-holic, but I hadn’t been able to shop much lately. I’m a teacher, and in this economy, I hadn’t found a summer job. Over the past few months, my already meager savings had dwindled. It was only thanks to my generous parents that I could pay my bills.


Now, with a few weeks of paychecks in the bank and Mom’s birthday coming up, I wanted to show my mom how much I appreciated her help. I’d found a beautiful black sweater that I knew Mom would love and was all set to leave. Then the brown clogs caught my eye. They had a woven pattern on top and I already could picture all the outfits they’d go with.


I had to have them. I tucked the shoes under my arm and made my way towards the cash register. But a guilty feeling washed over me. “God,” I prayed, “I don’t really need these shoes, and I can’t afford to spend the extra money. I can make do with all you have given me.” Sadly, I returned the shoes to their place on the rack, paid for my mother’s present and left.


The next day, I stopped by my friend Terri’s house after work. Just before I was about to say goodbye, Terri stopped me. “I almost forgot,” she said. “I’ve got a box of old stuff I was going to give to a consignment shop, but if there’s anything you’re interested in, you’re more than welcome to help yourself.”


After yesterday’s shopping, I was in no mood to go looking through old clothes. Some consolation prize they would be, I thought. But I took a peek.


There, on top of the pile, was a pair of brand new looking brown clogs, with a woven pattern on top, just like the ones I’d turned down. “They’re too small on me,” Terri said.


I tried them on. Wouldn’t you know it? A perfect fit.


Read more Mysterious Ways stories
from Guideposts

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Great moments

It will happen on occasion, a great moment that was least expected, simple in nature, yet never to be forgotten.

Working in the mental health industry brought me many of these moments in recent past and those moments taught me many life lessons.  The most profound lesson is similar to the following story.

You can't buy great moments . . . they are gifts from God.

I'm not sure where this story comes from . . .

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.  One night I took a fare at 2:30 am, when I arrived to collect, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.  Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away. 

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation.  Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. 

So I walked to the door and knocked.  "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice.  I could hear something being dragged across the floor. 

After a long pause, the door opened.  A small woman in her 80's stood before me.  She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. 

By her side was a small nylon suitcase.  The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years.  All the furniture was covered with sheets.  There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters.  In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said.   I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. 

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing," I told her.  "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?" 

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly. 

"Oh, I don't mind," she said "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice." 

I looked in the rear-view mirror.  Her eyes were glistening.  "I don't have any family left," she continued.  "The doctor says I don't have very long."  I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 

"What route would you like me to take?"  I asked. 

For the next two hours, we drove through the city.  She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. 

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. 

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. 

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired.  Let's go now." 

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.  It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. 

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.  They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.  They must have been expecting her. 

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door.  The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse. 

"Nothing," I said

"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.  She held onto me tightly. 

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.   "Thank you." 

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.  Behind me, a door shut.  It was the sound of the closing of a life. 

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift.  I drove aimlessly lost in thought.  For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? 

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. 

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. 

But great moments often catch us unaware . . . beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. 

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER
EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID,
OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY

 WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER

HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL. 

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Authenticity

When I cruise the internet, I get lost and spend hours looking for new and interesting websites and blogs.  On occasion, I run into one that I consider outstanding . . . BlogHer is one of them.  You can reach the website by going to the sidebar of my blog . . . I have included the "Own Your Beauty" link.  Every month they target a different topic . . . this month is "Authenticity."  Check them out!


The following article comes directly from their website . . . No, I'm not "stealing" their content . . . I don't want to lose the content by just placing a link here and losing the content when they change their website pages.  (It has happened way too often, making my blog posts useless . . . just wanted to explain why I do it!)


In the years that I have adopted the lifestyle of "Simple Abundance," other than being grateful for simple little things every day, being authentic is up there on the list of importance as far as quality of life.

The awesome ladies at BlogHer
 have given us 12 tips to authenticity:

1.   Where is the list of fine performing arts that includes “art of listening,” I ask you?

2.   I’m suspicious of anyone who tells me they are an expert. Students teach me more.

3.   Confidence is the heartbeat of beauty. The trick? To get there we have to fail and change. The courage to  fail is irresistible to me.

4.   Are you hurting? Tell people. You will feel so GORGEOUS when you stop isolating yourself and open your heart.

5.   Take three hours a week for self-exploration: Make a regular date with yourself relax and things that will let your mind wander. Don’t expect major breakthroughs each time; it’s total time spent that helps you subconsciously approach the world differently.

6.   Don't compare: There’s a big difference between being inspired by others and emulating them. Your accomplishments may be similar to others’, but your path is unique and equally valid. Your job is not to be better than anyone, but to best meet your own purpose.

7.   Try not talking: Just observe others for a day. You’ll be amazed at how much connection you’ve missed, and how much more comfortable people are around someone who can let conversations unfold.

8.   What are you always telling yourself you'll do “someday?" Consider doing it now. Note I didn’t say do it, but consider doing it. Asking yourself to consider it takes the pressure off acting right away -- but the seeds are subconsciously planted.

9.   Don't be afraid to ask questions. Nothing exudes more confidence than freely admitting you don't know everything. People figure you must be really smart if you're willing to admit when you're dumb.

10. Everything you choose to share should be the truth. But you don't have to share everything. You can be authentic and still have boundaries. In fact you probably should!

11. You have the opportunity to live your values with every dollar you spend. Vote via the ballot box and your wallet.

12. The corollary to living your values is: Do the best that you can, until you can do better. None of us is perfect. But we should never do nothing because we can't do everything. I was a vegetarian for seventeen years before I finally successfully went vegan.

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Coming out of a fog

When we experience those hazy days, unsure of which way to turn, feeling unfocused and running into things hidden in the mist that seem to surround us, we are said to be "in a fog" . . . visibility is limited and slows us down, just as when driving through a fog.  When driving, it is usually best to pull over and wait for the mist to clear . . . it is unwise to move quickly.

Sometimes in life, we may need to slow down . . . the fog could be a gift.  While most of us would prefer to not encounter life obstacles, being in a fog gets our attention and allows us to stop, do nothing . . . be still in that moment and get to the source of the haziness.  It could be an emotional issue that needs attention . . . looking within ourselves can teach important lessons in order to safely proceed.  Perhaps the fog is a reminder to simply slow down.

The fog is unpredictable, not knowing when it will creep up and when it will lift.  Slow down and wait for guidance that may come from within or the lights followed to get out of that fog . . . allow it to lift naturally, like a gentle breeze or the sun that burns it away.  The fog can lift as fast as it creeps up . . . a certainty is that the fog will lift, making it possible to move forward with clarity and inner wisdom.

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Faith and the darkness of the unknown

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know

and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown.

Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen.

There will be solid ground to stand on or

you will be taught to fly."

Author unknown

Life and society as we know it has been changing and in transition . . . the economy, the political scene and unemployment that has run out of control.  Each decision we make is just a part of the cycle of cause and effect, approaching the decision-making process having the faith and knowledge that there are always possibilities and choices available empowers the process of exploring what is most beneficial for each of us as individuals.  

The optimum word is faith.

In the darkness of the unknown, there is one thing that remains constant . . . if we are not happy with present life circumstances and the choices made, we have the power to make different choices.  There are always choices . . . take the time to consider those options and ponder the possible outcomes with heightened awareness rather than make rash decisions based on emotion.

Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, 

then counting your blessings before they hatch.

  ~Ramona C. Carroll

Faith has never let me down . . . fears do.

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Surviving a storm

While cruising the internet this morning, I happened to come across a page called "The Daily Inspiration" that originates on the website of one of our local talk show radio stations. The link appears at the end of the article . . .

On this page, I found the following article that was like a confirmation from God . . . I could have written it myself since it speaks of many of my life philosophies.

One of my favorite sayings . . . it appears on the sidebar of this blog and is included in many of my prayers . . .

"You have succeeded in life

when all you really want

is only what you really need."

Vernon Howard
We will all encounter storms in our lifetime, it is how we deal with those struggles in the choices we make, including the mindset we choose that makes the difference in achieving peace, love and happiness.

At times, it is difficult to maintain an optimistic mindset . . . however, hope and faith are just a thought away . . . it is all about how we perceive a given situation.

Here is the article . . . I hope it gives just one person passing through a storm the perspective needed to get through it with a smile and a happy heart.

Today within minutes of each other, I read two messages of hope.

One was a story about a man who won millions. The other was about a man who just lost his job.

So, how do I see hope in either story?

The now wealthy man was rich beyond measure long before he won the money.

The now unemployed man was rich beyond measure long before he lost his job.

Both men are dedicated to family, friends, faith-filled, loving and well loved in return.

So, where do I see hope?

In how they choose to respond to life.

Both have choices to make to get them to where they want to go.

The now wealthy man could end up financially ruined.

The unemployed man could become a millionaire.

Neither circumstance has anything to do with money. It has everything to do with the choices they make.

Both are facing an abrupt change in lifestyle.

Both are facing storms.

I watched today as the clouds came rolling into the area. We were recently slammed by heavy rains which caused flooding throughout the east coast.

That storm passed. The sun came out and all was well. The return of yet another rainstorm almost seems unfair.

But it is life.

I realized as I stood watching the clouds overhead that if I got in my car and drove in almost any direction I would eventually find the end of the storm.

Like these two men, if we go far enough on the road we choose we can out run any storm. If we stand strong enough in place we can let the storm pass over us.

So, what does it take to get through the storm?

It all comes down to the choosing.

Enough. Enough time, enough belief, enough faith, enough love, enough hope. Both men are fully equipped with all those values.

Still, the enemy will step into the middle of every storm and use weapons of fear and doubt.

Fear of the unknown isn't the worst. Doubt is. Doubt undermines your beliefs. Doubt blinds the truth. I may not know what will happen, but if I doubt that good will come of it I will be lost in the storm.

Whenever I see an image of someone who won the lottery I always say a prayer for them.

I do the same when I see images of people who just lost their job.

That's my weapon.

I've been unemployed, I've never been a millionaire.

I survived unemployment. I've survived many storms. I'm not sure if I'd survive being a millionaire.

I can hear you saying "I'd like to give it a try!"

Please don't see this as bragging, but I help Lots of people in many ways. I've had this conversation with God many times.

"God, if you'd let me win big in the lottery, you know I could help a lot more people."

God's reply has always been, "Then help a lot of people with what you have now."

You don't need a lot of anything in life, you just need enough.

To both men, I promise "I'll see you in my prayers." I know you will both remain rich beyond measure.

Choose wisely and with God as counselor. It's the only way I make it through the storms.

Source

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Suicide has touched our lives . . .

Regular readers of my blog know that dealing with death is one of my most difficult challenges.


As the Captain and I sat in the outdoor dining area taking in a gorgeous Florida morning, enjoying our coffee and  pleasant conversation, making plans for the day, a single police car pulls up close by a neighbor's house and walks up to the house.  So the nightmare begins . . .


A man we have never seen before comes out of the neighbor's house, wildly waving his arms around . . . needless to say, something was definitely wrong.  Shortly thereafter, the stranger gets in his vehicle and leaves . . . followed by the policeman.


The neighbor was an elderly gentleman, a Vietnam veteran widowed twice who was seemingly enjoying his life in the company of younger women, traveling frequently and partied hard, obviously enjoying the intoxication of alcoholic beverages.  He was a friendly guy who frequented the local VFW and spent a tremendous amount of time giving back to our veterans through community service.  All in all, a good neighbor . . .


The Captain and I had been wondering where he had been lately, speculating that he was on one of his long trips in the company of one of his ladies, having the time of his life.  To the contrary . . . we later found out that he broke his back, had been in the hospital and returned home just days before . . .


Back to that morning . . . it had been no more than 20 minutes before we heard the sound of sirens, a fire truck and EMS.  The stranger had once again emerged on the scene . . . all of a sudden, one police car at a time, they converged . . . taking up both sides of the street . . . way down the street.  I had never seen so many cops and so much commotion happen in a matter of minutes . . . a sick feeling came over me from the pit of my stomach.


The Captain and I sat outside watching it all unfold like two birds up in the tree, not knowing what was going on, but knowing nevertheless . . .


It went on all day long . . . more police, more cars . . . detectives, the medical examiner . . . the yellow crime tape barricaded the property . . . then came the forensics unit . . .


We heard some of the talking amongst the police since many of them hung out in our front yard during the investigation . . . we gathered from the bits and pieces we heard that our neighbor shot himself . . . but then there was that stranger who was taken into a car with a detective . . . and the lady, who was apparently his caretaker, was also taken by two other detectives . . . neither emerged for a very long time.


Numbness took over me that morning and has not left . . . the thought of someone taking their own life makes one think of how appearances are deceiving . . . how the quality of someone's life is so important . . . and how fragile life is . . . scarier is someone taking the life of another.  We can be here one minute and gone the next.  


The yellow crime tape especially freaked me out . . . I bit off all of my fingernails.  All of this took place as we sat outdoors having a pleasant conversation over a cup of coffee, not knowing the hell that was going on so close by and would unfold before our eyes . . . without the details, like a silent movie with no subtitles.


What makes me sad is how life circumstances can make the difference between life and death . . . I've seen it over and over again working in the mental health industry.  Hope and despair take over and there only seems to be one way out in what could be a split second of thinking . . .


Sorry to be a downer . . . it is about life . . . death is a part of life . . . the key is learning how to cope with life circumstances with hope and faith that tomorrow is another day.

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Make your heart sing

Graphics by Gina Alfani

When you "lose your song" and are down in the dumps, it is essential to enjoy life every single day . . . make your heart sing, even if you have to create a new song.


Enjoying life and not letting all the little obstacles and annoyances get in the way of peace and joy is essential to our well-being. No matter what, we must find time to be playful and carefree with a meaningful song in our heart.


It is the joy of life itself that we sometimes forget is not infinite . . . our time on this earth is very short . . . every moment should be treated as if it is the last. So . . . sing a joyous song and be happy!

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