What you want . . . what you need

After many years of prayer, I am finally at peace . . . I am finally happy because I found love again . . . these things have been my wish list. This year I am giving thanks that I have everything that I have wanted to enhance my life.

Since posting my traditional holiday post "Sentimental Lady," I've received comments and emails from well-wishers asking if I have finally reached that moment of true joy in this holiday season and many prayers have been sent out.

First of all, I am touched that my post moved so many people into thinking differently about those they love . . . they must be cherished . . . life is short. It also touched those dreading the holidays . . . a message of hope that even though things look grim at one of our life's phases, it shall pass.

Anyway, the answer is a definite YES!!! I have EVERYTHING I needed to enhance my life . . . of course I have many wants . . . most of us do. I am happy beyond words . . .

There is one thing I really really WANT . . . it is just "stuff" . . . a frivolous thing that I can't afford at this time and haven't for a very long time . . . a laptop computer. I am a very serious computer geek! When we go off for more than a day, like to stay with my mom for more than just a visit, we both go through computer withdrawals. It would be so nice to have the luxury of taking that little package of joy with us.

What determines what you want

. . . and what you need? 

There seems to be a fine line!

Hope everyone is having a fabulous Thanksgiving holiday!

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Simple Abundance

As we move into the Thanksgiving holiday,
my theme for this week is simple abundance
 and being thankful for our blessings.

“Many women today feel a sadness we cannot name. 
Though we accomplish much of what we set out to do, 
we sense that something is missing in our lives and . . . 
fruitlessly . . . search “out there” for the answers. 
What’s often wrong is that we are disconnected
 from an authentic sense of self.”
Emily Hancock

The simple abundance lifestyle is a spiritual and practical course in creative living leading to contentment that comes from within. One of the fundamentals is the awareness that we all possess the inner wisdom, strength and creativity needed to make our dreams come true.

This is the core philosophy of the book
“Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathmach

At the heart of Simple Abundance is an authentic awakening, one that resonates within your soul. The way you reach that is through an inner journey that brings about an emotional psychological and spiritual transformation that produces inner peace, well-being, happiness and a sense of security. It all starts with gratitude and knowing we have everything we need to take that inner journey within ourselves.

For me, part of it is being true to myself, being my authentic self. I believe in the philosophy that “you must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want” . . . the quote comes from the book “Simple Abundance.”

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Don't Settle For Second Best

We wonder why the divorce rate is so high

Why there are so many miserable
people walking this earth

Sometimes it is as simple as making
the mistake of settling for second best

Good things come to those who wait and we
should be absolutely true to ourselves and share
our life with the person who makes us deliriously happy.

Don’t settle for second best

One of my favorite movies of all time is The Bridges of Madison County. Aside from the wildly romantic storyline, it is about settling for second best in your life . . . not being true to yourself, sometimes for the sake of others.

This beautiful love story features Robert Kincaid, a traveling photographer for National Geographic who arrives in Madison County, Iowa to photograph covered bridges. He stops for directions at the home of Francesca Johnson. She is a disillusioned Italian war bride whose husband and children are temporarily out of town. The next four wonderful days awaken a deep, fulfilling love between Robert and Francesca. All too soon, Francesca must make the hardest choice of her life . . . stay in the life she settled for or leave and live happily ever after with the man of her dreams.

Why do people settle for “better than nothing” to begin with? Sooner or later “better . . . the one” will come along . . . and if you settled, like Francesca did in the movie, you are left to live a life of daydreams and wondering “what if” since most people do the honorable thing and stay in a less than happy situation because of obligation and circumstances . . . most often “for the sake of others”.

In the beginning, when there are no children, no husband . . . are we so afraid of being alone that we grab at the first chance that seems like contentment . . . hope it is true love, or will turn into it . . . then come the kids, and ultimately . . . regrets. Why not just wait? Is it the biological clock that is ticking? Everything that is meant to be is in God’s time . . . that is my belief.

My philosophy as far as relationships go is like this . . . commit yourself to someone you have intense chemistry for, someone you know you will never want to take your hands off of, someone who feels that way about you. I’ve blogged about my philosophy before, but it is too important to not say over and over again. Chemistry is the glue that holds two people together. It is not shallow to want this in a relationship. It does not always have to do with physical appearance . . . romantic chemistry is strange that way.

Everything about Robert became erotic to Francesca . . . they had that intense animal attraction chemistry for each other . . . it was electric. When she was with him, she felt like another woman, yet she was more herself than she ever was before. That is how the right one feels . . .

As a spiritual person, I believe in signs . . . if too many obstacles are put in the way of love, it is not meant to be. Impossible situations should be taken as not meant to be . . . love happens even when it is not right . . . sometimes love is not meant to be forever, but for a season and for a specific reason.

What a beautiful movie . . . I was in the mood for that type of story to feed my romantic side.

Those electric chemistry romantic feelings are worth waiting for.

Have you ever had a
Robert or Francesca in your life?

Did you give them up?

Or are you living your dream relationship?

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Living in the shadow

Living in the shadow of another person is a mistake many of us make in the course of our lives. As a widow, it has taken me much longer to heal since I was more of a part of a couple than an individual person.


No matter how happy you are in your life, don’t rely on someone else to make up your total happiness. For one thing, another human is bound to disappoint you because they are human.


There is one thing I have learned . . . balance and moderation in life are two very important factors to finding peace and happiness. Anything in moderation is acceptable, as in a lifestyle of eating sensibly rather than a diet.


One of my best friends loves to talk to me when she is down. When she told me that I asked her “Why . . . because my life sucks more than yours?” . . . “It is your inner light,” she said.


We all have that inner light that shines from within and it is in our power to unleash it. I’ve always had it and didn’t realize it until my friend made that statement.


I had spent so much time missing the person I depended on to make me happy that I forgot that true happiness comes from within. I am naturally a positive, upbeat person . . . and I’m on my way back . . . hopefully I can reach other widows who are misunderstood, tired of hearing “get over it” and know that you are not alone . . . time does heal and life can be wonderful again . . . in your time.

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Blah blah blahs

They creep up upon you out of nowhere . . . and I’ve been hit with them . . . the blahs. Aren’t we all afflicted with this condition at times?


You could possibly call it a lazy weekend since the change in the weather has been bringing on sinus headaches . . . I’ve lost my “mo” . . . generally feel sluggish, dumpy and frumpy.


Since afflicted and stuck in this state of mind, I thought I would do some research on this thing we call “the blahs” and explore what the psycho-gurus have to say about getting out of them.


The general consensus is that activity beats the blahs . . . the irony in that statement is very amusing to me. Don’t the blahs inhibit activity?


It is said that music is an excellent mood elevator . . . and usually what does it for me. However, this run of the blahs mixed with restlessness makes it impossible to even pick out what I want to listen to! Sure, I’m in the mood to turn on the music and dance . . . a bit of sarcasm . . . there is no way I even want to go there at this time.


One of my favorite websites, Psychology Today, says “don’t wallow in a foul mood . . . run for the gym and take your headphones” . . . I totally agree and often write about moods, being grateful and thinking positively with all those warm and fuzzy thoughts we are supposed to have in order to achieve an awesome quality of life. I just don’t have them today . . . and I realize I have been behind this computer way too long with too little sleep. Don’t we usually know the roots of the blahs?


Well, it has lasted long enough and I refuse to wallow in it . . . I’m off to get my groove back by getting away from the computer, go outside and enjoy this gorgeous Florida evening with a cup of hot chocolate and snuggle up to my man.


Sometimes we are blessed with the blahs so we can appreciate and be grateful for those awesome days when feel we can conquer the world.

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Make It Happen

"Some people want it to happen, 

some wish it would happen, 

others make it happen."

Michael Jordan

We all want to live our dream . . . 

but we can’t wish to achieve goals and 

get it done just because we want to. 

It is being passionate about our goals, enabling our minds to motivation and action . . . which means breaking old habits that keep the forward motion of getting things done . . . and never give up trying . . . passion breeds persistence.

One thing is certain . . . the goal must have clarity in order to plan the journey to your dream.  Just like a physical journey, knowing how to get there by using a map is often necessary.  More chances than not, you will get lost without that map . . . lost and wandering in the wilderness of the mind.

When the journey’s path is known, plan the journey, replacing those bad habits that keep you going and making the new way the standard way of operating. 

Procrastination is usually the most difficult bad habit to break . . . it is easy “know” that you will “do it tomorrow.”  This behavior of putting off tasks to a later time is merely a coping mechanism for the anxiety associated with whatever the endeavor is.

The really bad thing about procrastination is that putting something off until a later time makes it easy to continue the bad habit of putting it off.  It is a vicious cycle that must be broken, otherwise, your dream will just be a dream . . . put up in a little box in the corner of your mind.

One of the definitions of passion is being affected by something external and acted upon . . . break the habit of letting procrastination influence the passion of the dream, making incremental changes along the way. 

The journey to your dreams

 starts with one step 

of
forward motion that
leads to the next.

Love this quote ~

"You are never given a wish without being

given the power to make it true.

 You may have to work for it, however."

Richard Bach

Make it happen!

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Happy Veterans Day!

Being grateful for little things in life is what I try to practice every day of my life, no matter what my life circumstances are.


Today is no different, except for one thing . . . it is no little thing, it is major gratitude for veterans and how they affect every day of my life and every other single person in this world.


I'm so grateful to not only the veterans, but their families who have made so many sacrifices in their lifestyle in order to serve our country and protect our freedom.


For many, this day is just another holiday . . . a day off from work without a thought of its real meaning.  Our way of life and freedom is way too often taken for granted . . . and so are those who have made it possible.


This post is dedicated to my sweetie, who served in the Air Force most of his adult life . . . he is my hero!

The following arrived in several emails from groups 

I belong to . . . I had no idea that Veterans Day

is also celebrated in other countries . . .

Veterans Day was first observed on November 11, 1919 by proclamation from President Woodrow Wilson to honor troops from WWI. It wasn't until 1953, when a man from Kansas, Alfred King, began campaigning for the holiday to include ALL war veterans. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed this change into law in May, 1954.

Many countries celebrate Veterans Day (Armistice Day) on November 11. The significance of this date is marked by the signing of the end of WWI at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918.

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Free Hugs

Wikipedia defines a hug as a form of physical intimacy, not necessarily sexual, that usually involves closing or holding the arms around another person or group of persons. The hug is one of the most common human signs of love and affection.


When asked what they miss the most about having a partner, a single person will no doubt answer "hugs" were sorely missed.  Hugs, not words, were the greatest comfort to me in my grief state when my husband passed away.  I didn't want to hear "I'm sorry" . . . I just wanted a hug . . . comfort and support without words.  


Hugs show many levels of affection, even in the animal kingdom!


What if you encountered a lonely stranger at an airport holding a sign reading "FREE HUGS" . . . would you give that person a hug?  To be very honest with you, with as much compassion that I possess, I can honestly answer "NO" . . . I'm not a touchy feely person with strangers.  In reality, I am a very private person when it comes to strangers.


Having said that . . . the Free Hugs Campaign has touched and impressed me on many levels.


There once was a lonely guy experiencing a bad phase in his life, a string of personal difficulties brought him to a crossroads in life that found him leaving London to venture back home to Sydney.  Left with a world of trouble and a suitcase that held everything he owned, feeling, lonely and depressed as he watched other travelers at the airport terminal being welcomed with open arms with lots laughter, hugs and smiles. He felt a sinking feeling as there was no one to greet him at the airport and desperately needed a hug.


On that day in 2004, the Free Hugs Campaign was born . . . the hugs are meant to be random acts of kindness - selfless acts performed just to make others feel better. 

The man who has become known as Juan Mann found some cardboard and a marker and made himself a sign that simply said 'FREE HUGS' . . . he found one of the busiest intersection in the city and held up his sign as people passed him by, just staring at him.  I can imagine they probably thought he was a lunatic!  


The first person to approach him was a little old lady whose dog had just passed away that morning on the anniversary of her only daughter's death . . . she told Juan that all she wanted at a time of feeling so alone in this world, was a hug.  She was smiling when they parted . . .


Years later, the International Free Day of Hugs is celebrated the first Saturday in July, described as a social movement involving individuals who offer hugs to strangers in public places.


The movement has had its moments . . . the police banned the practice of Juan and his fellow huggers from offering the free hugs on the street.  They were allowed to continue after filing petitions, jumping through bureaucratic hoops and red tape just to offer free hugs . . .


In this world of  influence from the Internet, Juan Mann ended up on the Oprah Show, gave out his real address and offered an open invitation to anyone to come over and chat on-camera as part of his 'open-house project', ultimately hosting 80 guests over 36 days . . . and created problems with his landlord.


Juan has since "retired" . . . 


Free Hugs Campaign Website enables those involved in the campaign to better organize themselves and coordinate their efforts. Check it out if you want more information on the movement . . .


Have you hugged someone today?

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Today I Saw a Butterfly

Today I saw a butterfly,
as it floated in the air;
Its wings were spread in splendor,
Unaware that I was there.
It was such a thing of beauty,
It was a sight to see;
It was the perfect masterpiece,
Full of grace and majesty.
I found myself thinking,
to what can this compare?
And then, of course, I thought of you,
And I wished that you were there.
God sure was extra careful,
When He formed and fashioned you;
You too, became a masterpiece,
Yet God is still not through.
He's daily making changes,
that other folks can't see;
You're already true perfection,
At least you are to me.


~ Author Unknown ~

There is a saying that I can't remember the exact words, but the gist of it is you can find perfect love with an imperfect person.  What makes the person perfect is love and adoration.  Unconditional love may see the imperfections, but it has no affect on the degree of love you have for this person.

Love truly is a thing of beauty when you find someone who feels the same about you.  Being the romantic that I am, nothing compares to it . . . to love and be loved is the most important thing to me in this life.

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The allure of material things

Sometime in the human experience we are all seduced by the allure of material things. Back in the day the love of money and the stuff I could buy had such a grip on me that I forgot how to live in pursuit of making more money. Even spending the money as fast as I could in order to gather even more objects could not fill the emptiness of not enjoying the gift of life.


There is nothing wrong with owning prized possessions that are a reflection of our emotions and memories. What is wrong is the intention of that desire to possess that stuff when it becomes a compulsion, creating an imbalance of trying to fill empty emotional spaces with those things.


On my path to peace, love and happiness, I have learned to find joy in the little things in life that truly bring a smile to my face and are filling those empty emotional spaces. All that stuff that cost money now clutter my house and little by little I’m clearing those spaces. In my case, the imbalance of my compulsion was filling the wrong spaces.

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Bad Days

We all have them . . . did you think you are alone? It seems like it when you are in the midst of one and you just know that the whole world is against you.


Everything in life is what we perceive them to be, even bad days can be used for good if you look for lessons to be learned from them. For one thing, patience and perseverance is learned through bad days and even hard times (aka extended bad days . . . they truly build a strong character if we can only hang in there).


One of the greatest blessings in my life came to me as a result of hard times . . . more than extended bad days, those days seemed to never end, but they did. The result was a new found appreciation and gratefulness for good days and all that was good in my life. I stumbled on to the “Simple Abundance” lifestyle and it changed my life. That philosophy prepared me for the even darker days of my life.


Even the most positive people have bad days and it is ok to indulge in a bit of a pity party, have some chocolate or whatever else lifts your spirits . . . but don’t let the party last too long, you know, moderation and all that. 


Brush yourself off and start over again with a renewed spirit. Rise above it and realize that tomorrow is another day . . . be positive no matter how bleek it appears to be because it can all change in an instant.

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Positive energy vs negative realities

We have all subconsciously been programmed throughout a lifetime by our parents, friends, siblings, ourselves, and lasting emotions from past experience, whether we know it or not. Our belief system is within the inner self, guiding and controlling our thoughts and actions. Actions create the reality whether it is positive or negative.


Understanding what we have been programmed to believe is the key to striking the balance between positive energy and negative realities. A person can have all the positive energy necessary to create a positive reality, however, when the little voice within has been programmed to expect a negative reality, the little voice will usually win. Positive programming results in positive realities.


Our belief system is an important factor of success, therefore, the person with the negative belief system must learn how to rewrite the program . . . get rid of the negative, self-limiting beliefs in order to guide future actions positively.


Unless we change what needs to be changed within ourselves, we can indulge in rationalizations and illusions that do nothing but feed a vicious cycle of negativity . . . “what if . . .”.


Those afflicted with a negative belief system tend to use negative affirmations without realizing it. The phrase “I can’t” spoken out loud or thought about is the best example of a negative affirmation. Say it enough times and the negative affirmation becomes a negative reality.


Striking the balance between positive and negative is in the thought process. Dwelling on negative realities keeps the negative programming alive. Consciously rejecting negative thoughts is the beginning of rewriting the program.


Of course a certain amount of worry in a given situation is healthy. Living life looking through rose colored glasses, throwing caution to the wind is irresponsible.


Realize that you are always a work in progress, be patient with yourself, knowing that you were born to do great things in your life. Give yourself the gift of the highest of expectations expecting more progress on some days than others.


Allow every positive or negative experience to be a learning experience . . . focus on the positive lesson learned. Embrace the philosophy that everything happens for a reason . . . accept whatever it is and move on.

“The biggest enemies we have to overcome on the road to success are not a lack of ability and a lack of opportunity, but fears of failure and rejection and the doubts that they trigger.”

(Brian Tracy, from the book, Eat That Frog!)

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Freedom and success . . . the other side of fear of failure

Fear of failure . . . despite rational thinking, education, talent and ability . . . makes the exhilaration of victory and success impossible. Fear can cause a potentially successful person to accept mediocrity . . . if you don’t take the risk, you’re guaranteed not to face failure.

The other side of that fear

is freedom and success . . .

Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”


Thoughts are powerful and fear is irrational . . . it is the thought of the fear, not the actual experience or “failure,” but the dread it inspires. Obsessive dwelling on the matter reinforces one dark thought after another until success is no longer a reality.


The weight of the dread and fear builds and grows, slowing down progress and cluttering the mind. If the fear is thought of logically, we find they have no rational basis.

Just do it . . .

Smart educated engineers laughed at Henry Ford’s dream of building automobiles, who no doubt perceived him as illiterate and ignorant since he was just an uneducated man with a dream.


Ford was "ignorant" of the fear he overcame due to of his lack of education. His dream was greater than his fear and perceived “limitations” . . . positive thoughts of his dream drove him to success.


How unfortunate would it have been if he let his fear of failure conquer him?


Success is action and bold, courageous movement toward your goals and dreams. Action dispels fear . . . giving fear the time to occupy the thought process is giving it permission to paralyze any efforts and actions, leading to ultimate failure that was feared to begin with. Fear is not rational and is a vicious cycle!


Boldly moving toward your goals a little at a time, embracing the smallest of victories along the way, can start chipping away at that bondage of fear.

Success knows no boundaries!

Understanding how these fears affect us and learning how to cope and manage ourselves in the midst of the fear is one of the most important steps to freedom from fears.


When you miss out on an opportunity due to fear, you will never get that moment back . . . then the floodgates of regrets open up to mingle with the fears.  The pity party is then on its way . . . it is a vicious cycle.


We can’t prevent bad things from happening in our lives, but we can learn how to suppress or eliminate the obsessive focus fear places on us and not live a life of mediocrity with regrets.


We only have one life . . . and we CAN control the quality of that life through our thoughts and attitude.

You can conquer almost any fear if you

will only make up your mind to do so.

For remember, fear doesn’t exist 

anywhere except in the mind. 

~Dale Carnegie~

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