Time stood still

Feeling grateful towards someone or something in your

life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate

and value into your life. 

Christiane Northrup

We often experience life's bumps in the road and last week was one of those times for me.  

It is so difficult when someone you love has a health issue emerge that could have serious implications.  While I'm already grateful for all that I have been blessed with, I'm feeling extra grateful.  Good news was received as far as Diamond Lil's tests are concerned.  

Extreme relief would be an understatement.

As she underwent a surgical procedure last week, it felt like time stood still.  What was expected to be a short recovery time turned into hours with no idea of what was going on.  There was only one other time in my life that I experienced the sensation of everything going in slow motion. 

Her smiling face was a welcome sight when we received the call to go back to the recovery area.  I was never so grateful for her sparkling smile that released the helpless feeling that had consumed me.  Mommy smiles can be magical . . .

The remnant of grief from losing many friends and family members is the fear of more death.  Of course it is silly to think that life and death won't continue to happen, but confronting it is way out of the comfort zone and teeters on the edge of the panic zone.

I'm grateful for passing that bump in the road!


Have you ever felt that sensation of everything going in slow motion and time standing still?

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Happiness Never Forgets You

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, 

never completely forget about it. 

Jacques Prévert 

A new blogging friend's post made me think about those times of grief, depression, anxiety and restlessness from way too many deaths of family and friends in a short period of time.  They were awful times when happiness was a distant memory, but something that was craved and prayed for. Life happens . . . we will all have to deal with grief at times in our lives. 

The focus of today's post is grief and the happiness and peace of mind it takes, sapping the energy out like the blood has been drained out of your body.  We all deal with it differently, but it sure can knock the wind out of even the strongest person.

This year will mark the ninth year of suddenly becoming a widow and I can say that I have finally moved on with my life and have found the happiness I was searching for.  I've learned how to be grateful for the beautiful life we shared, but it is not always easy.  Even now, so many years later, I experience those sad days when I miss the awesome friendship we shared.  

The usual trigger days are rough, like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays . . . the sadness of the loss creeps in, but as time goes on, happiness of my present life has shortened the sad time.  However, time does not heal, it merely allows us to cope more effectively.  At least that has been my experience.

The depression and anxiety that grief triggers is unlike anything else and so difficult to explain.  Unless you have gone through it, there is no way to understand the hell that the survivor feels trapped in.  Back in the day, I lost many friends who didn't care enough to understand what I was going through.  It felt as though I was a echo in a canyon . . . absolutely lost, not knowing where to turn . . . with a handful of friends and family who really understood.  

Depression itself holds a certain societal stigma, with outsiders thinking that the person going through it should "just get over it" . . . making the depressed person feel like even less of a person, like a freak of nature, not worthy of happiness and peace of mind.  It is a vicious cycle.  If you are one of those people . . . do the depressed person a favor . . . just don't say anything if you can't be a truly supportive, positive influence on them.  My grandmother had a saying about these type of people . . . they will kick a dead dog when he's down.

Based on my experience, there are a few things I'd like to add . . . get professional help if you are willing to accept the help.  It may sound crude, but rid yourself of those negative people who lack compassion for your situation in life . . . they will only make you feel like a freak . . . and you are not a freak, you are simply a human being going through a rough time in your life, having a difficult time coping.  

Love yourself . . . is so important to know that you are worthy of happiness again . . . give yourself permission to understand what is going on deep inside and analyze how to get yourself out of it.  Figure out what it is that will make you truly happy.  Journaling and writing about it helped me tremendously . . . I learned the questions to ask myself from my therapist, who essentially saved my life.

Having gone through all the stages and phases of grief, depression, anxiety, restlessness, anger and a judgmental society, I can honestly say that you can get through it and find happiness again.  It is attainable . . . really it is.  

Happiness may elude you for a season of time . . . but never lose hope that it will never return, it does.

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The Door to Satisfaction

"All the peace and happiness of the whole globe,

the peace and happiness of societies,

the peace and happiness of family,

the peace and happiness in the individual persons' life,

and the peace and happiness of even the animals and so forth,

all depends on having loving kindness toward each other.

When you cherish others, all your wishes are fulfilled

Living your life for others, cherishing them with loving kindness

and compassion is the door to happiness, the door to enlightenment."

~ Lama Zopa Rinpoche ~

The Door to Satisfaction

"The springs of life are all from within."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

One of the keys to happiness and peace is mutual respect. 

Everyone has their belief system which personally belongs to them, just as yours belongs to you.  Mutual respect commands compassion for others, their feelings and the understanding associated with tolerance of beliefs that are not our own.  The world is full of people with varying opinions whether it be religion, politics or how to deal with life in general.

The door to enlightenment leads to peace within through tolerance and understanding . . . along with the practice of mutual respect.

 Peace in the world is elusive as a butterfly . . . I doubt that I will see peace in the world in my lifetime and is beyond any one person's control.

Peace in your soul comes from within and in your power.

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Balance bad behavior

People who irritate us the most sometimes exhibit the same qualities we possess ourselves.  Perhaps it is the perfect opportunity for self-exploration and understanding ourselves on a deeper level in order to explore options of behavior modification and change those irritating traits.

However, we must be willing to change and become brutally honest with ourselves as it relates to bad behavior.

On the other hand, enhancing those positive behaviors we possess can influence another person to imitate the behavior . . . and it works the other way around.  Allow others in your life to influence you to be the best person you can be.

Checks and balances allow ourselves and those closest to us to continually improve ourselves and positively enhance our behavior modification awareness, ultimately improving those relationships through a willingness to change.

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Buried dreams or fulfilled visions?

It is important to have a vision

of what we want in life.

More important is to take action

toward getting what we want.

Do you have a dream or a vision for your life?

Do you want fulfilled visions or buried dreams?

As with any journey, you need a map to your destination and a way to get there.  Otherwise you will probably get lost or find yourself stranded along the way, burying  your dream as a result.

It is never too late to dig up those buried dreams . . . take action toward making it happen.  No matter what it is, come up with an action plan and move on it.  It takes one step at a time . . . no matter how small the steps are.

Fuel the way to get to your goal like you put gas in your vehicle to get somewhere.  Just do it . . . put your well thought-out plan into action and make your buried dream a fulfilled vision.

We only have one journey of life . . . live it the way you dream it.

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Invincible Determination

"If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done."

Vince Lombardi  

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek."

Mario Andretti 

"The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come."

James Whitcomb Riley

 

"An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything, and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men."

Thomas Fuller

Determination is defined as the act of 
coming to a decision or of fixing
 or settling a purpose.


You could say that determination is the key to self-respect and confidence . . . it all works together.  

The need for success or attainment of a goal is the fuel for determination . . . you want it, it is a must . . . no matter what!

A strong-willed person with ambition will take a set back as a lesson in circumstance, developing discipline along the way which is also necessary in order to reach the desired goal.  Like everything in life, it is about balancing all the components of determination.

In times of dire circumstances, the determination to survive can either make or break a person.  If you fall down enough times, do you continue to dust yourself off and get back up or give up completely?

What makes the difference?  

At what point does one experience

 what I call a broken spirit?

All I know is this . . . in my times of experiencing a broken spirit, the thought of failure gives me the determination and a wild ambition to keep it going.  The balance of experiencing the broken spirit with the determination to not fail helps me get back up and keep on keeping on.  

Sometimes the broken spirit results in a greater determination to succeed . . . that is when balance and discipline enters into the mix.  At least that is the way I see it . . . 

The difference between success and failure is a state of mind.  What I have perceived as my greatest failures have led to the greatest times of happiness in my life.  

An excellent example is giving up on a job in a dysfunctional workplace that would have produced negative results no matter what the effort.  It is all in how you perceive the situation.  Success in sticking it out would never produce joy and happiness, which is the goal in my life. 

You have to know which battles to fight in order to find the success you are looking for in your life.

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