Capture moments

Although it gets easier from one year to the next, Christmas holidays after experiencing a terrible loss in your life is not easy.

For me, the memories that once caused me a great deal of grief have turned into wonderful memories of a part of my life that I am so grateful for.  I do admit it will never be the same, but not as bad as the year before.

The older we become, the more grief we experience with those close to us passing away one by one.  It adds to complicated emotions, especially around the holidays.

The holidays are "the dreaded season" for me with so many emotions that tug on my heart for so many reasons.

I know I am not alone though.  There are others whose experiences have kept them from moving on with their lives.  At least I have moved on . . .

One of my Facebook friends posted the following thoughts that really hit home.  I shared it on Facebook and it prompted me to write a blog post about it.

Feel free to share it on one of your social media pages . . . it could let someone else going through a rough holiday season know they are not alone.  They may also realize that capturing those moments will be a treasure one day.

A blessed and wonderful holiday season to all . . .

"Sadly, I know too many people to whom this applies. My family included. Many will attempt to decorate . . . to cook . . . buy (or make) and wrap gifts . . . to be festive. 

But the holidays bring sadness, loneliness and heartache. Many will cry for hours with memories of what this time used to be and how it was filled with such love and anticipation - and now it brings back memories of the reality of emptiness and sadness.

So I would like to remind you that there are people for whatever reason are not looking forward to Christmas. Some people are not surrounded by large wonderful families.

Some of us have problems during the holidays and are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us any longer.

For many it is their first Christmas without a particular loved one and many others lost loved ones at Christmas. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring, loving thoughts right now." 

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Anger

"Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

How does anger typically surface in your life?

We usually get angry at someone, don't we? We judge that someone has done something wrong and we want them to be punished.

In truth, the actions of others are never to blame. It's our thinking - our blaming and judgment - that causes the anger. And we blame and judge because we have a need that has not been met.

In his book 'Nonviolent Communication,' Marshall B. Rosenberg advises that rather than blame others, we are better served by directing our energy towards meeting our own needs.

He offers a simple tool for change. Instead of saying, 'I am angry because they ...' we can say, 'I am angry because I am needing ....'

"At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled."
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it."
-- Marcus Aurelius

Source:  http://www.higherawareness.com

Dealing with anger rather than sweeping it under the rug and hoping it will go away is an important stepping stone in moving on with your life positively.  At first it does not feel like a positive move, but it is if you can finally get rid of that anger.

Accept the anger for what it is and move toward getting rid of those awful feelings.

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Day to Day Grief

It never goes away, it just changes and evolves when you least expect it.

After experiencing the death of my first husband, family members and friends, Hurricane Irma and the tree that landed on our house and changed it forever, it has occurred to me that loss is loss.  The loss of my house as I knew it has surprisingly compounded my grief and manifests itself in different ways.

The best way I cope with it is to roll with the changing feelings and take it one day at a time, realizing that it will come back to bite me at any time.  I try to be ready for it, but not always successful.  Depression hits me in various degrees, but like the grief, it never completely goes away.  It all haunts me.

Today I read an article from someone who experiences grief that pops up in different ways.  It is a comfort to know you are not alone and gives great insight to discover how others cope on a daily basis.  I can't wait to check out the website she suggested for further insight.  Click here for the article.

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