Always keep the faith, no matter what . . .
Tuesday, November 29, 2022
Tuesday, November 1, 2022
A Widow’s Cry
Sometimes I feel so many emotions that stem from depression . . . and I wonder why. I am so grateful for all the things that the good Lord has blessed me with and every day should be filled with peace and happiness. I have finally realized that all the emotions evolve from an empty space in my heart that never goes away.
The following article perfectly explains it and even after 20 years, I live it every day even though I have moved on. It sucks to be a widow after being in a long and happy marriage. October will always be a bad trigger month for me and this October reached 20 awful years that I lost my loving, sweet and compassionate first husband.
A Widow’s Cry
- Despite what you might think, the tears that come to me are necessary.
- My tears are because I loved someone with all my heart and I can’t be with them, touch them, kiss them or hug them again. Not even once. Do you know how that feels?
- I cry because I loved. I cry because I lost. I cry because I can still feel….everything.
- I cry because this is so unfair and there’s nothing...nothing I can do to change it.
- These tears come in the shower, on my long run, in the car at the stoplight and parking lots, in public bathrooms, under my covers in bed, while cooking dinner and taking out the trash, when nothing goes right, in darkness and in daylight.
- They come for a reason and a season.
- Sometimes I cry because of the past memories, sometimes because I’m moving forward courageously, sometimes because I’m confused and lost, sometimes because I’m exhausted and over it and sometimes when I’m profoundly, positively happy.
- They are healing, inconvenient, embarrassing, breathtaking, uncontrollable, unyielding and as mysteriously beautiful and sacred as love is to me.
- In fact, without love, these tears would have no meaning whatsoever.
- These brave tears wouldn’t percolate at all if I had not found the courage to give my whole-hearted self to another. To fully commit myself heart-to-heart infinitely.
- So, if you see me tear up or break down, find me a tissue, give me a hug, hold my hand, find a private place we can go and sit together until it passes. Hold that space with me. Your kindness genuinely helps this feel less awkward.
- Thank you ahead of time. Having a golden friend like you in a moment like this is the silver lining of every tear I shed.
- Some of my tears will come alone and in silence, but all of my tears come calling out for compassion, friendship and connection.
Let’s be willing and grateful for this authentic way to emotionally connect with each other and better understand the deeper meaning in all our tears. Let it rain until it releases our pain as we regain the hope and strength to face another moment in this storm after loss.
Written by:
Thursday, February 10, 2022
Disappointment and Expectations
disappointment
sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations
or
a person, event, or thing that causes disappointment
"Disappointment is part of daily life. The only way to avoid it is to have no expectations, desires, or values.
The most common disappointment is about expectations. Whenever expectations go unmet, we experience disappointment. The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. Many people attempt to manage disappointment by lowering expectations. While expectations should be realistic, lowering them too far sacrifices enthusiasm and capacity for enjoyment.
Disappointment is so unpleasant that when it happens, we’re often unaware of anything other than sadness, irritability, resentment, anger, or aggressive impulse."
Read the rest of the article at Psychology Today, click here.
At this time and place in history, I have come to the conclusion that the whole world is experiencing long term disappointment.
Politics and the media has us sitting in our opposing corners with family at odds with each other over opinions in general while experiencing long term isolation due to a pandemic that has the general public at each others throats for one reason or another.
This disappointment has turned into resentment, aggressiveness and irritability. At least that is how I see it.
Personally, I long for the days of Dean Martin and "That's Amore."
On an individual basis, are we experiencing personal disappointment in each other because our expectations are too high?
Or . . .
Have we turned too cold to each other's feelings?
On the other hand, have we become too sensitive?
Do people in general even care about others anymore?
Social media has become brutal. Participation in social media used to be one of my favorite things to do and was something I looked forward to each day. It seems like overnight it all changed.
I'm sad for the human race and how we have turned on each other instead of being grateful for the love, compassion and kindness of friends and family in our lives.
Or maybe it is just me in the depressed mode I've been in.
I'll end by quoting the Dean Martin song . . . "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore." I would love to go back to those days.
We are lost.
As for me, I'm still searching for Peace, Love and Happiness.
Thursday, January 6, 2022
Emotional Boundaries
Inspiration and intuition guides us in the direction we should move toward.
Our true feelings are reality and work hand in hand with intuition. The tricky thing is setting emotional boundaries along with embracing those true feelings and intuition.
Being true to ourselves is essential and this realization is most important.
No one is responsible for setting those emotional boundaries except yourself.
Intuition and gut feelings reflect our true reflection of reality. It is what it is. Having the strength to face reality is a double edged sword worn like a badge of honor.
Visualize a barrier of positive energy surrounding you and know that negativity will not cross this boundary unless you allow it to.
Inner strength is a gift we can give ourselves to maintain those emotional boundaries.
Detach yourself from negativity!
Monday, January 3, 2022
Peace and Valuing Moments
If we are to have true peace in the world, we must first find it within ourselves.
"Most people agree that a more peaceful world would be an ideal situation for all living creatures. However, we often seem stumped as to how to bring this ideal situation into being. If we are to have true peace in this world, each one of us must find it in ourselves first. If we don't like ourselves, for example, we probably won't like those around us. If we are in a constant state of inner conflict, then we will probably manifest conflict in the world. If we have fighting within our families, there can be no peace in the world. We must shine the light of inquiry on our internal struggles, because this is the only place we can really create change."
You can read the rest of the article here.
The article addresses shining the light on those internal struggles. I would add those situations that bring the struggles.
Do any of us have the magic power of being able to control those situations? Maybe some, but it is delusional to think that we can change all of them.
For me, realizing that struggling with those things we can't change will only make a person very depressed and angry . . . hopelessness is the killer that makes it almost impossible to get back up after falling.
Although there are many things that concern me, I have started to finally let go of those things I can't change. Changing the thought process has resulted in very different reactions than before as I strive to get better every day. As a result, I am finding peace in valuing moments and being more grateful for my blessings. As a Christian, I believe everything is in God's hands. Things happen for a reason.
Why drive yourself crazy over things that may happen in the future? Not one of us is given a magic wand or promised tomorrow. So why not value the present moment?
Happy New Year!
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