Life's Best Moments

You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going.  What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.

Thomas Merton

The roller coaster ride of emotions can confuse and jumble up the mind to the degree that you could be having one of life's best moments and not even realize it.  

Is it possible that there are those who are so wrapped up in their unhappy emotional state that they are ok with it?  Perhaps it is what makes them feel "normal" . . . therefore, they don't want to be happy?

Personally, I don't think so.  As a person cursed with anxiety and restlessness, I can say that the anxiety-ridden times are like walking on hot coals with no shoes on.  It is not something I enjoy and frankly, in these times, I pray for a bit of contentment to assist me in breaking out of the "bad attitude."

It is so important to surround yourself with positive, happy people.  Those who have the gift of seeing the possibilities in challenges and face them head on, laughing all the way can help you see their perspective, making the light at the end of the tunnel appear within sight by their example.  The challenge becomes a game more than the goal of the desired outcome.

We all have down times, even those positive, happy people.  The trick is to figure out how to break out of the funky mood and see the joy of the present moment.  Study your happy friends . . . something is working for them!

Discover your life's best moments, even when life isn't perfect . . .

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Deliriously Happy in the Midst of Blahs

It occurred to me today that January is the "Monday" of the year.

Once the ball drops on New Years Eve, for most of us, the festivities are over for another year.

In my case, January should be a great month since it marks the end of the "dreaded season," however, the blahs have continued to plague me.

The conclusion I've come to is that my "purpose" has been lost in the shuffle and changes of life.  Since The Captain and I got married, he made it through a long recovery after having a difficult surgery . . . we decided to "semi-retire" and enjoy life.  He quit his job and I never went back to work after my last job disappointment and I honestly don't have the desire to go back to the rat race of office politics.

My life is at a place that many would envy, so why do I have the blahs?  How do I get my "purpose" back? Do I even know what it is?  Am I still going through the guilt thing that I'm here and JR is not.  Does that keep me from enjoying life to the fullest?

I can remember a time in my life when I would hear about people who retire soon die because they lose their purpose . . . I would laugh and think "I'd love to have that problem" as I lived through the draining day-to-day challenge of everyday life in the corporate world.

Where is the "happy medium" of balance we all strive for?  Perhaps for me it is simply getting closer in touch with my spiritual side.

The irony of deliriously happy in the midst of blahs . . .

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The State of Bliss

Bliss is a stage which is above any emotional state that is characterized as extreme peace or happiness with feelings of enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction above all other feelings.

Bernadette Roberts addresses the question of states of bliss and oneness in her book "The Experience of No Self."  Her belief is the higher state of bliss comes and goes, but once bliss is attained, one gets used to it and it is no longer experience as a "high" . . . and becomes the norm.

I tend to disagree with Bernadette Roberts.  How can bliss come and go, yet become the norm?  Would it be the same as attaining our ultimate goal and deem ourselves so successful that we can't achieve more success?

Of course, something that is attained for any period of time can become the norm, positive or negative, bliss or emotional pain.  But how does one know it is the "ultimate" and the emotional condition can go no higher?  My belief is that ultimate bliss is never achieved . . . it can always go higher yet bringing us the sensation of personal satisfaction.

There are the states of bliss and individual opinions of what bliss actually is.

A quote by John Keats states a soft kiss is bliss . . .  "Now a soft kiss - Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss."

I guess one could interpret a soft kiss as endless bliss, depending on the individuals and their place in a relationship, yet for another it is just a state of being.

For J.K. Rowling, it is "The idea of just wandering off to a cafe with a notebook and writing and seeing where that takes me for awhile is just bliss."  It is not the interaction with another person, but the state of being with one's self.

Ask 10 people what does bliss mean to them and you will no doubt get ten interpretations, just as if you asked 10 people what is happiness or any other emotion or state of being.

It is just one of those states of being that you know if you have experienced it and if you haven't, you long for it.  If you are in the state of bliss, you want to stay there forever.

For me, true love is bliss.

What does "bliss" mean to you?

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Jewel in the Rough

Everyone is a jewel in the rough since no one is perfect and never will be.

A recent comment made by a reader got me pondering life along the following line of thinking.  He said he would feel that peace, love and happiness that I write about when he finds love.  It made me think of the days that I thought love was that magic thing that would change everything.

My new life as a married woman is totally different than the life I was leading at that time.  Back in those days, shortly before writing that post, I had the fairy tale thinking that finding love again was the key to finding peace, love and happiness.  I was so wrong!

Of course finding love again is a huge part of it . . . I am definitely happily married . . . much happier than I was alone. However, the biggest lesson I have learned is that a bigger part of finding the elusive peace, love and happiness is accepting yourself as you are and loving yourself anyway.

Since writing the following post, I have learned so much about myself.  In fact, since meeting The Captain I have learned much more about myself.  

The phases of our lives continue peeling back the layers of who we are and reveal themselves to us at the time we need it most.  At least that is the way it has worked for me.  We continually evolve with time even though we are the same person born the way we are.  However, perspective of who we are changes the way we perceive ourselves . . . life circumstances can do that for us if we allow to analyze ourselves with a completely honest open mind.

Before finding love again, I truly believe I had to be comfortable within my skin, embrace my solitude and live for bliss . . . even if it meant that I would live my life alone.  It was a long and difficult journey to that place.

It was at that point in my life that when I least expected it, The Captain just appeared in my life and everything fell into place.  Did he make my life perfect, complete with the elusive peace, love and happiness I so craved in my life?  I would not be honest if I said yes.

The new life journey is striving toward the harmony of peace, love and happiness as a couple just as I struggled with learning to embrace my solitude when I was alone.

We are always a jewel in the rough!

This post was originally published on August 17, 2008:

I found the following post by Carrie Hart very inspirational and motivating this morning. It is so indicative of my life since I made my new year's resolutions as I prepared for my "new life" while watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve . . . that was my symbolic start to "normal".

Although I am firmly convinced that the past few years of my life have been a total refinement that has found me "walking the fires of hell", the reward will be the best person that I ever imagined being with an awesome life with lots of peace, love and happiness. The most important lesson is being more grateful for every little blessing that I've been given . . . it wasn't always that way. Walking through the fires will do that to you . . . appreciate the good things in life so much more.

As I look back at the trials and tribulations, I see the good in every one of them and the reason why I had to go through those things. It is all a personal growth process and the refinement of the spirit . . . the peeling of the layers, one by one.

One of the most important things to get from the struggles I've been through is to never lose faith and hope, no matter how bad the situation appears to be. Expect God to move in your life incrementally, working on one layer at a time, sometimes more . . . expect the emotional struggle of personal growth. It is necessary to make us the best person we can be.

The most important piece of my life puzzle was not presented to me until recently, although it was waiting for me before the start of the new year. The time was not right for the missing piece to present itself . . . I needed help to remove the rest of the layers . . . the time is now :)

My path was revealed at the appropriate time and I know exactly where I'm going . . . still going through the refinement and removing more layers to get there . . . just like a jewel in the rough, I'm almost ready to shine.

Here is the post by Carrie Hart . . .

You are like a precious jewel under layers of stone, your glow covered by fear, social conditioning and doubt. And here and there, there has been a deep chip in that stone and a little bit of light shines out from the jewel, showing the light and love that you are.

And often there was pain and loss in the creation of that little opening, as you felt life cut deeply through your protective coating to expose some of your true heart. And yet, that place is where you shine brightly and show your true self.

There are those who spend their entire lives decorating the stone covering. They paint on bright and colorful layers of success and achievement; they do intricate carvings on their stone shield.

But you desire more than this. You know that the answer lies in having the courage to remove these layers, these layers of fear, doubt, and yes, even the highly decorated achievements and successes. You know that praise, approval and recognition are not the true shine.

You are the jewel underneath, the gem of beauty and glory. You are all of that beauty and wonder, right now. And all you need to do is have the courage to chip away at the baser stone that covers you. Just chip and chip, removing layer after layer.

Yes, this does take courage. For as you do this, you are removing the intricate decoration that you have been using to disguise the stone, and there are moments, between the time you chip away the colorful paint and the time you reach the jewel, that you feel bare and vulnerable as you show to yourself and the world only your unadorned fears and doubts.

But continue. Continue to chip away until you reach the jewel underneath. Clear away more and more of the stone, exposing your true colors, your true light. And as you expose and express who you truly are, you can even cut beautiful facets in the stone, so that you shine ever more brightly as you begin to catch the light and love that flows toward you.

And one day, you will have cleared away enough stone that the star in your center can be seen, the unique and glowing self that is you, shining out endlessly, creating light and love, not only as a reflection but as a part of the creative force that drives all that is.

All of this is within you now, right now. You have the love, the light, the beauty and the power. You are deeply creative and shine with a light that is at once completely unique and yet one with all. You have all of this glory within you, right now.

Reach down and feel the star glowing within you. Reach down to that star and you will find there all of the courage you need to let yourself shine.

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Anxiety and life phases

~ I'm Fine | Heart ~


It has occurred to me today that life is just a cycle of phases, some good, some bad, all contributing to the person we are today.  Of course each time we tend to feel as though we are losing it, like in my featured song by Heart.

Since we are entering Week #4 of no running water, I needed to read old posts and remind myself of where I have been and the anxiety associated with it. I always tell myself "this too shall pass" . . . and it does!

Anxiety comes in different phases, usually dependent on what the current life circumstances are.

I have selected two phases of my life to write about.

The first post found me entering an exciting new chapter in my life after successfully completing training for the job I knew was made for me.  I remember being so happy, although the disappointment of the job as it really was and the attitude of "corporate America" toward its employees ultimately took me through another time of anxiety and the feeling of failure.

The positive aspects of this experience was the feeling of accomplishment for finally getting out of the house, going after that job I wanted so badly and successfully completing some emotionally draining training.  Even though the job didn't work out, no one would have ever suspected I had previously been so apprehensive about leaving my comfort zone and shutting myself out of society for so many years.

Today I am so very grateful that I don't have to face "corporate America" again . . . I can say with certainty that those days are over. 

Notice a theme here?

The last post found me at a time of high anxiety as I had quit smoking and thought I had a grip on it . . . at the same time I decided I no longer needed my anxiety medication and was weaning myself off.  Big mistake!  The attempt of quitting smoking is a high anxiety endeavor anyway . . . not a time to get off of anxiety medication.  My doctor was very angry with me and convinced me to start taking them again.

The lesson I learned is taking medication for a legitimate problem is nothing to be ashamed of.  The shame is to not do anything about a problem that exists.

Many of us are afflicted with high anxiety for whatever reason.  Don't be afraid of medication . . . it is necessary when problems arise so you can deal with them with a clear head and attitude.  Mine has never gone away, I can just deal with it more effectively now.  Life challenges happen and you must be prepared for them.


This post was originally published on March 8, 2008

A new chapter in my life has begun. A time that I thought would never come, although I just took one day at a time and tried to deal with each one as best as I could. Every time I take out my certification for successfully completing training for a job that I set in my mind over two years ago, I am so grateful for the strength that God gave me to make it through those bad times and gave me enough faith in myself to go for it and make it through the training that I almost walked out of several times.

Positive attitude and faith in ourselves and our creator goes a long way and through times we think we can't get through. We can go through life in a bad mood and an awful attitude, resulting in a miserable existence. I've been through all the phases.

It was especially rough when I made the decision that I needed to quit smoking if I was going to join the real world and get a real job since the realization hit me that selling "whatever" on eBay was no longer going to provide the comfortable life that I had grown accustomed to. In retrospect I think it was divine intervention to finally get me out of my house. God works in mysterious ways to teach us lessons and make us stronger.

As I get ready for the new chapter of my life with a new career and the contentment, peace of mind and security I was searching for, I started my one day off with my first cup of coffee reading some of my old posts so I can truly savor this moment and appreciate the emotions of accomplishment.

The following post was written as I was well into my endeavor of quitting smoking . . . the "no smoking weight gain" was starting to creep up on me . . . it was just a bad time that gives me so much appreciation for the changes I have made in my life.

There was always hope for me even though I didn't always think so . . . there is also hope for anyone going through a bad time, no matter what the circumstance . . . with faith and a positive attitude.

This post was originally published on December 11, 2006

Not asking for much . . . not even happiness at the moment since that seems like an impossible dream, just CONTENTMENT and peace of mind would be great.

The past couple of days have been awful . . . I am convinced it is withdrawals from quitting smoking and/or getting off my medication. Feelings of restlessness and anxiety have consumed me and just about everything is making me irritable. The cravings to smoke a cigarette are virtually gone, although they do hit me when I least expect it, but pass quickly.

I had done some research on withdrawal from my medication and the good news is that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as I expected them to be based on my research. I always took way less than prescribed because I hate being dependent on anything and was so scared of becoming addicted to them. Today I am thankful that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as they could be even though I am ready to climb the walls from this anxiety.

My state of anxiety is all about my life's general frustrations and irritations.

I'm still dealing with no hot water and having to boil water for everything. The repair people will finally be here tomorrow and hopefully it will be fixed.

The one thing that is really irritating me is the weight that I have gained as a result of not smoking anymore. I am not doing anything different, although I am hungry all the time. The weight gain came fast and has really made me sad since I have worked so hard to take it off. Now I have to work doubly hard to get that under control. I just spent 1/2 hour on the exercise bike to get rid of anxiety and hopefully keep the weight gain from continuing. 

This is the story of my life . . . something positive always brings the negative to bring me down. I can't win!

I'm off to experience the one thing that always makes me happy and content . . . my first cup of coffee for the day. I'll also have to check out my music collection and find some happy music. Those two things will instantly put me in a better state of mind.

This is going to be an awesome week in spite of all of this . . . I'm determined!

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Free your mind

Free your mind

and the rest will follow,

be colorblind,

don't be so shallow

(before you read me you

gotta learn how to see me)

Lyrics from the song
Free Your Mind | En Vogue



Well, we are into week #2 of our water well system being out of commission which has meant no running water all this time.  Talk about missing something that is a normal part of everyone's day.

To compound the situation, The Captain is sick!

As I was going through one of my old blogs this morning, I found this post so ironic as I am struggling to keep from going over the edge with the major inconvenience of having to deal with all these bottles of water.  The way things are done on a routine basis is all turned around.  I tried to enter this latest life challenge as a new adventure, but I am getting to the point where I can't fool my mind into thinking this is an adventure.  In reality it is a major hassle that is getting on my last nerve.

So . . . maybe I should prepare a bowl of popcorn to combat the blues!

Seriously, the following post includes some awesome methods for handling those stressful times in life.  Wish I would have run into this post before I started teetering on the edge!

Originally published on January 18, 2008
On the path to my quest for happiness, the best thing I did for myself was take the time to figure out what I was doing WRONG in my life since it seemed like I continued to spiral out of control time and time again. Yes, I have also had to deal with the death of my spouse, but I was not handling life well at all . . . and I know I will continue to stumble here and there because it is human nature. The difference is that I understand myself better and the way I handle difficulties.

I ran across an article that touches on a lot of what I have discovered in this year of self-awareness and I thought it was worth sharing with others having a difficult time with stress, depression or even a mild case of the blues . . .

Feeling good physically works on the mind too . . . exercise does help combat depression or a case of "the blues" . . . and here are some other psychological strategies that help us attain that peace within.

Feed your "brain" with low calorie foods with lots of crunch, like apples, carrots and celery . . . I eat a bowl of popcorn every day just because it is one of my addictions. Through the years, I have learned how to make a healthy version with a microwave popcorn popper . . . I never used the bagged microwave popcorn since I want to control what goes into it. It fools the brain and works as a release that helps deflect the binge of "stress-eating".

It is important to not use food to bring comfort, remember that it's mainly a source of fuel. An extra slice of cake won't solve anything . . . it will just make you feel guilty later. This is the one that I was really guilty of since I quit smoking last year and had to deal with that too . . . and the desire to eat everything in sight. Finally . . . I can say I have a handle on this too.

Avoid excessive stimulants like caffeine or guarana . . . I prefer not to practice what I preach with this one . . . although I have started substituing hot tea instead of drinking coffee every day, all day . . . and I have cut down the amount I take in each day . . . but I must have my caffeine!

Breathe right . . . Slow it down . . . allow your diaphragm to fully contract, feel the breath through your entire lungs, breathe out and exhale the air completely. When I feel stress starting to creep in, I take a time out, clear my mind and breathe . . . I close my eyes and envision the waves crashing onto the ocean and the sound it makes. When I have serious time . . . I have a CD of ocean sounds that is supposed to help with sleep, and it helps on those days I need to free my mind since I am such an intensive thinker that lets the stress creep in.

Everyone has their way of letting off steam . . . discover yours and recognize when you need to take a time out before the stress gets too out of control. My greatest stress reliever is energetic music and dancing . . . for others it is a hot steamy shower or a soak in a hot bubble bath in candlelight . . . discover the way that works for you and change the quality of your life. No sense running around stressed out if you can find a way to free your mind from it.

Do you feel yourself making the same mistakes over and over again? The most important thing I did for myself last year was invest time in myself . . . self-knowledge . . . recognizing patterns and understanding why. To break the mold, step out of the story to review it from an outsider's perspective . . . I've done that by blogging about the journey into my new life. Give yourself a reality-check to find the root of the problem and re-evaluating the situation. Although I know it didn't seem like it, I have really listened to the feedback and comments I received from my friends and have slowly made incremental changes.

Whatever you do, be true to yourself . . . take the HONEST approach with an open mind, finding negative characteristics about yourself is just part of the journey to finding your authentic self and making those changes that are necessary to stop the vicious cycle. Listen to what others have to say with an open mind . . . someone may say the one thing that clicks for you and makes a huge difference in your perspective.

Free your mind . . . and the rest will follow!

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Do It Anyway

Since I have had a case of the blahs and have been

 writing negative posts, I thought I would post

 something positive from Mother Theresa.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

(Mother Teresa)

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Your true calling

Life ends not when you die, but when you stop believing in your true calling. Your true calling isn't something your friends, parents or lovers want you to become. Your true calling isn't living vicariously through someone else. And most certainly your true calling isn't working just to "make a living" and "get by".

Your true calling is that soft voice within you urging to be creative. Your true calling is your vision of a better life. Your true calling is your Creator whispering to you who you really are.

One day we will all breathe our last breath. The only difference between those of us who will live a fulfilled life in the flow of their true calling and those of us who don't is this: know that you are already dead, die to your fear and give up everything except what whispers to you in the quiet hours.

Follow your vision, do what makes you happy - it is your birthright to live in joy. But it is 100% your choice whether you do or not.

Say no to your fear. Live your true calling. Set sail and don't look back.

Source:  The Daily Love

That soft voice is telling me to get my craft and sewing room cleaned out and organized so I can get on with the next phase of my life!!

The incremental changes I have made since I became a widow so long ago has brought me to where I am today . . . happily remarried and retired with too much time on my hands.  

So much progress!!  Most people would be thrilled to trade places with my life circumstances.

Finding your true calling is what I routinely refer to as following your bliss or finding your authentic self.  

After a lifetime of a fulfilling career and numerous self-employment business ventures, I finally have that chance to sit back and figure out what following my bliss is all about.  

I've pretty much worked all my life to be at this place in life and I honestly don't know what to do with the time, although I am overwhelmed with so much to do.  

Confused?  It really is pretty simple!

What needs to be done will bring me to what I have perceived my true calling is . . . being creative and making money with my imagination.

One little thing gets in the way . . . overwhelm!  Too much time on my hands gives the illusion of having forever to get it done and put it off until "tomorrow" . . . procrastination, another culprit . . . they are partners in crime!

It would be so easy to just get started and do a little bit every day.  But overwhelm and procrastination has taken care of that by stacking boxes in front of the closed door to the room that needs the help.  

Where do the boxes go?  O.M.G., I'll have to clear out another area to make room for them . . . blah, blah, blah and so on and so on!

I need a professional organizer on an extremely frugal budget!!

What amazes me is how an article can attract my attention and inspire me to write about a particular subject, but once I start writing, where it goes is comical!  I've gone from true calling to overwhelm and procrastination!  

This is the way my mind works . . . sometimes a bit too fast, then I get distracted!  I make it so easy for myself to procrastinate . . .

Is it any wonder I have too much time on my hands?

Figuring out the goal . . . my true calling . . . has been the task we have worked on recently.  That was difficult enough since the goal involved both The Captain and I.  Now that is done, we are currently working toward getting there, running into my old buddy procrastination and overwhelm which is like a virtual brick wall.

Which all brings me to a recurring theme of my life and this blog . . . JUST DO IT!  
LOL . . . OK . . . I'll start tomorrow!

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Finding Hidden Gifts

"We need to make friends with what we reject, what we see as "bad" in ourselves and in other people. We must not only tolerate what we find painful, but actually approach it more deeply, more wholeheartedly rather than trying to escape from it. The only way to do this successfully is with an open heart, letting it soften you. This way you are not attacking it or seeking to eradicate it, but instead embracing it. For only then will it serve the purpose for which it exists and can reveal to you the gift hidden within it.

Identify something you reject in yourself or in another and take it into your heart. Let it speak to you and reveal its teaching, blessing or energy." 

Source: The Soul Journey 

Well, it sounds easy, doesn't it?

Letting those irritating things in ourselves and others speak to us is one thing . . . they already speak volumes to me!  The trick is allowing it to reveal its blessing in our lives when it is painful or a major irritation robbing us of peace and happiness.

It seems to me that it is all in the perspective in which it is approached.  A positive thinker will embrace the hidden gift rather quickly, while the negative thinker will see it as an impossible task.  

The negative thinker will just want to sweep it under the rug and either ignore it completely, hoping it will just go away or complain about it, declaring that life is just not fair and hoping that since they are entitled to be happy, the situation or the trait will just go away.  Guess what?  It won't!

There are many levels and aspects of this concept.  While seeking the hidden gifts in our own flaws may be an achievable task, it is quite a different story when it comes to another person.  Disagreements in a relationship usually have so many layers, they get convoluted when combined with personality traits.

Perhaps the way to first approach the situation is to envision the end result in a compassionate and positive manner . . . peace and happiness.  Ask yourself the right questions . . . "how can peace and happiness be achieved in this situation?" . . . take each identifying factor individually rather than combined with everything else.

When it comes to evaluating and analyzing the irritating thing involving someone else, make sure that all bitterness and anger of the situation is set aside before even attempting to think about it positively.

All in all, I found this concept very interesting and can prove to be an insightful way to look at life situations and those special people in our lives.  We are all special and unique individuals with our gifts (whether they be hidden or not) that others find pleasant and attractive which also comes with those things that are irritating!

Love yourself and those you love enough to find those hidden gifts!

  

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Unresolved issues

My intention was to get back into full swing with blogging again, but I'm still lacking focus and concentration due to all that has gone on with The Captain's surgery, his recovery and life in general.  

Best way I can describe it . . . 

I'm feeling numb.

There are so many unresolved issues buzzing around in my thoughts that I need to sort out and I haven't been able to deal with them.  

Since I quit working, I've not been able to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life professionally.  What would make me happy?  I honestly don't know . . . however, doing nothing has left a void within me that can't be filled by merely being a housewife.  

I'm a doer who hasn't been doing

 and feeling a little lost!

It really isn't about money, except that I have a need to feel like I'm contributing to the household financially.  My dad did a good job drilling the financial contribution thing in my head when I was very young.  He would be disappointed in me . . .

Today would have been my wedding anniversary with JR . . . it is one of those grief trigger days that makes me sad.  It is so ironic to feel this way in the midst of one of my happiest times since The Captain came into my life.  

I'm really happy and other than these emotional issues, my life is as near perfect as I have ever imagined.  

So . . . what's the problem?  

I'm constantly asking myself!

There are so many people out there

 in this world with REAL problems

 and that realization makes

 me feel so guilty!

Needless to say, high anxiety has continued

 to plague me and it feels like depression

 has started to set in again.  

There is a fine line between anxiety and depression . . . sometimes it is difficult to know when one filters into the other.

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Obstacles have a reason

The years that followed the death of my husband back in 2002 were mainly dark, lonely, sad, miserable and full of obstacles to happiness in all areas of my life.
My life philosophy is "everything happens for a reason" . . . even obstacles have a reason.
Sometimes in life we get stuck in present time and forget where we came from.  This morning I had a time of reflection and went back to old journal entries, those dark, lonely and mainly sad days of contemplating where my life was going.  The obstacles often overwhelmed me.
I knew that somewhere in this big world there was someone out there who was looking for me.  Somewhere a perfect man for me.
Faith is one of those things that I felt with childlike anticipation.   
Where would I be without my faith in God?  
Where would I be without the obstacles  I had to go through to feel the miracle  of faith and love?

All I know is that faith kept me going through those times of feeling the waves of overwhelm that swept over me, constantly knocking me down.  Each time I picked myself back up, I was astonishingly stronger . . . and ready for the next obstacle.
Obstacles of the past have made it easier to jump the hurdles of life's obstacles in present times.  They have a reason and a place in our life history.   
Life lessons and those obstacles . . .  they constantly prepare us for what is to come  . . . good and bad.

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