It occurred to me today that January is the "Monday" of the year.
Once the ball drops on New Years Eve, for most of us, the festivities are over for another year.
In my case, January should be a great month since it marks the end of the "dreaded season," however, the blahs have continued to plague me.
The conclusion I've come to is that my "purpose" has been lost in the shuffle and changes of life. Since The Captain and I got married, he made it through a long recovery after having a difficult surgery . . . we decided to "semi-retire" and enjoy life. He quit his job and I never went back to work after my last job disappointment and I honestly don't have the desire to go back to the rat race of office politics.
My life is at a place that many would envy, so why do I have the blahs? How do I get my "purpose" back? Do I even know what it is? Am I still going through the guilt thing that I'm here and JR is not. Does that keep me from enjoying life to the fullest?
I can remember a time in my life when I would hear about people who retire soon die because they lose their purpose . . . I would laugh and think "I'd love to have that problem" as I lived through the draining day-to-day challenge of everyday life in the corporate world.
Where is the "happy medium" of balance we all strive for? Perhaps for me it is simply getting closer in touch with my spiritual side.
The irony of deliriously happy in the midst of blahs . . .
