Quality of Life and the Adventurous Attitude

What is adventure?  

Adventure could be defined as an activity that involves the possibility of risk, danger or exciting experiences. For one person, it could mean jumping off a bridge attached to a bungee cord, feeling the rush of rising and falling as the bungee cord does its thing.  Yet another could perceive adventure as a serene day at the beach.


Adventure could simply be seen as an attitude . . . a journey towards finding our unique potential . . . sometimes hidden by fear and worry.  It is how we approach the day-to-day obstacles of life, how we perceive and act on them that determines the level of adventure and quality of life.


Attitude adjustments that involve backing away from fear of the unknown and embracing the new challenges as an exciting adventure allows us to seize those new opportunities that present themselves with a positive mindset.  


Embracing adventure is acknowledging faith . . . a testing that faces the unknown without fear.  Stretching past the comfort zone allows us to find that unique potential within ourselves.


The adventurous attitude perceives everything in a positive light . . . life is awesome until it isn't . . . then you confront, face and solve the problem.  Until then, it isn't a problem . . . so why worry about the thing unless it has happened.


Speaking from experience, fear and worry is an obstacle from living life to its full potential . . . isn't life without adventure merely waiting to die?  


Readers of my blogs will understand what I am saying . . . since becoming a widow, my life was one of waiting to die, locking myself away from the world . . . get it over with, I didn't even want to try to be adventurous since I may get hurt in one way or another.  Warped thinking plays into the scenario . . .


Of course depression plays a huge role in attitude . . . but you can deal with it, fight it . . . turn it around no matter how many times you have to get back up when you fall down . . . find adventure in life again.  I did . . . although I still have to deal with the fears, some days better than others.


Love this quote . . .

"Most of the important things in the world 

have been accomplished by people who have 

kept on trying when there seemed to be 

no hope at all."  

Herbert Myer

read more

Suicide has touched our lives . . .

Regular readers of my blog know that dealing with death is one of my most difficult challenges.


As the Captain and I sat in the outdoor dining area taking in a gorgeous Florida morning, enjoying our coffee and  pleasant conversation, making plans for the day, a single police car pulls up close by a neighbor's house and walks up to the house.  So the nightmare begins . . .


A man we have never seen before comes out of the neighbor's house, wildly waving his arms around . . . needless to say, something was definitely wrong.  Shortly thereafter, the stranger gets in his vehicle and leaves . . . followed by the policeman.


The neighbor was an elderly gentleman, a Vietnam veteran widowed twice who was seemingly enjoying his life in the company of younger women, traveling frequently and partied hard, obviously enjoying the intoxication of alcoholic beverages.  He was a friendly guy who frequented the local VFW and spent a tremendous amount of time giving back to our veterans through community service.  All in all, a good neighbor . . .


The Captain and I had been wondering where he had been lately, speculating that he was on one of his long trips in the company of one of his ladies, having the time of his life.  To the contrary . . . we later found out that he broke his back, had been in the hospital and returned home just days before . . .


Back to that morning . . . it had been no more than 20 minutes before we heard the sound of sirens, a fire truck and EMS.  The stranger had once again emerged on the scene . . . all of a sudden, one police car at a time, they converged . . . taking up both sides of the street . . . way down the street.  I had never seen so many cops and so much commotion happen in a matter of minutes . . . a sick feeling came over me from the pit of my stomach.


The Captain and I sat outside watching it all unfold like two birds up in the tree, not knowing what was going on, but knowing nevertheless . . .


It went on all day long . . . more police, more cars . . . detectives, the medical examiner . . . the yellow crime tape barricaded the property . . . then came the forensics unit . . .


We heard some of the talking amongst the police since many of them hung out in our front yard during the investigation . . . we gathered from the bits and pieces we heard that our neighbor shot himself . . . but then there was that stranger who was taken into a car with a detective . . . and the lady, who was apparently his caretaker, was also taken by two other detectives . . . neither emerged for a very long time.


Numbness took over me that morning and has not left . . . the thought of someone taking their own life makes one think of how appearances are deceiving . . . how the quality of someone's life is so important . . . and how fragile life is . . . scarier is someone taking the life of another.  We can be here one minute and gone the next.  


The yellow crime tape especially freaked me out . . . I bit off all of my fingernails.  All of this took place as we sat outdoors having a pleasant conversation over a cup of coffee, not knowing the hell that was going on so close by and would unfold before our eyes . . . without the details, like a silent movie with no subtitles.


What makes me sad is how life circumstances can make the difference between life and death . . . I've seen it over and over again working in the mental health industry.  Hope and despair take over and there only seems to be one way out in what could be a split second of thinking . . .


Sorry to be a downer . . . it is about life . . . death is a part of life . . . the key is learning how to cope with life circumstances with hope and faith that tomorrow is another day.

read more

A time of change

Life as we know has always been changing and evolving from the beginning of time.

However, a time of serious change has descended upon the earth on many fronts in recent past. Societal changes are swiftly moving in many directions.

Change is ever present . . . you can see it in world events . . . you can see it looking out beyond the walls that shelter you in your own communities.

At the time of growing up, I don't recall people running around with guns randomly shooting people and turning the gun on themselves. That is sheer lunacy . . . however, I still respect the right to bear arms. It has become a time when not bearing arms for your own protection is lunacy.  Are we headed back to the days of the wild west?  Will gun holsters become a new fashion statement?

On the economic front, local businesses are failing, unemployment running rampant . . . once thriving malls are like ghost towns, little mom and pop businesses have been closing their doors at a rapid pace . . . they just can't make it, leaving a greater gap for employment opportunities. Society in general are just scared to let go of the money they do have, putting the dreams of small-time entrepreneurs nearly out of reach.

The times we are living in are becoming more disturbing by the day. Stay informed, educate yourself on what is going on . . . don't just listen to the sound bites on the news, dig into the facts for yourself, keep an open mind and think for yourself . . . don't let others do the thinking for you. It is especially crucial on the political front . . . know who you are voting for and what they stand for.

These are the tests of time where the strong will survive. If you fall down, get up  and start over again. Keep the hope and faith with the knowledge that there is always someone who is not as fortunate as yourself for whatever reason. It is a difficult time to be optimistic, but it has become a necessity to know that "this too will pass" . . .

Living the lifestyle of simple abundance . . . being grateful for the little things that God has blessed me with and really striving toward a life filled with peace, love and happiness . . . that is what keeps me strong and grounded.

There is a quote on the sidebar of

my blog that is my philosophy of life 

"You have succeeded in life when 

all you really want is only what you really need."

Vernon Howard

What do I really need?

Peace, love and happiness 

read more

Irreplaceable hours

Often we allow ourselves to be upset by
small things we should despise and forget.

We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding
 over grievances that, in a year's time, will
be  forgotten by us and by everybody.

No, let us devote our life to worthwhile
 actions and feelings, to great thoughts,
 real affections and enduring undertakings.

(Andre Maurois)

Yes, I have racked up my share of irreplaceable hours worrying about stupid stuff that is completely out of my hands even though I often ask for God's assistance . . .

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr--

For those of us who are spiritual and believe in God . . .
shouldn't we trust God and put our worries and fears in his capable hands? Human nature takes us to that wasteland of unnecessary emotions that never produces positive results . . . at least that is the way it works for me.

Why should I really care about the lady at work who does not like me for whatever reason? Isn't it her problem, not mine? Of course it is her problem! When I stop worrying about why she doesn't like me and focus on being happy despite her nastiness, I end up having an awesome day at the office. At the same time, I pray to God to give this miserable woman peace in her soul.

One of my biggest pet peeves is careless drivers and the fear of traffic . . . way out of my hands . . . but almost torturous at times. I'm often asked why I don't trust God and just enjoy the ride. Little by little, one day at a time . . . the way I think about the experience is changing and becoming more of a pleasant experience rather than a necessary evil.

All those "little stupid things" . . . I could go on and on, but that just wastes irreplaceable time. Instead of dwelling on those things, I am striving to "devote my life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings."

read more

Life's reflection

Our life is often a reflection of what lies within.

When we feel stressed by something outside of us, our reactions
are usually a mirror of what is happening in our minds.

It is no different with our relationships—
whatever we do, say, or even think is a reaction
based on our own inner dialogue.

Integrating our worlds through meditation, however,
allows us to connect these seemingly disparate realities,
which will calm our minds and make it easier to see just
how our meditations can influence our actions.

Using the peace of mind you find during your contemplations
to help you with your interactions today will make
every aspect of your life more serene.

Source: Daily OM

Since I had one of the most awesome weekends ever and really dreaded going back to work this morning, I thought I would put this theory into action. My morning started as many other Monday mornings do . . . instant bad mood at the sound of the annoying alarm clock and knowing I had to get up and face yet another manic Monday to begin a new week.

The Captain mentioned not having the wonderful feeling of the weekend end, but rather take it into the week . . . and I remembered the above article and decided to put the "Magnificent Monday Mentality" into action.

Today was no different than any other Monday . . . but my attitude adjustment made all the difference between a good day and an annoying, stressful day.

I ended up having an awesome day, lifting up the rest of the usual "Manic Monday" crowd at work. Perhaps at first they were thinking that I should be perceived as a client rather than an employee, but in the end, my mantra of "today is a magnificent Monday" made them smile and resulted in a very pleasant day at the looney bin.

Meditations do influence our actions and

the way we perceive the world around us.

Tonight I am enjoying a very peaceful and serene Monday night, free of the usual dread of the work week ahead of me, and the stress carried over from the "Manic Monday".

Peace, love and happiness
can be found on a Monday :)

read more

Peace, love, happiness . . . and success . . . some guidelines

One of my favorite bloggers, Marelisa, calls the following list "58 Habits That Will Help You Succeed." In my opinion, the outcome of putting these new habits into action is peace, love and happiness, along with the success.

In the years since suddenly becoming a widow, I have pondered quality of life in the short time we have on earth, what it means to me and what it takes to get there. I've adopted many of the "habits" that Marelisa suggests, along with being grateful for all the little things that bring me simple pleasures.

The theme of my blog is peace, love and happiness, which means so much to me. This weekend, death has crept into my life again . . . another beloved and cherished family member is gone. As my partner and I gathered with other family members this weekend, I was once again reminded of those things truly important in life. It had been years since seeing some of those family members that I love so much, but too busy with living life to take time out to spend time with them.

Quality of life is balancing all those things that mean the most to you . . . above all is loving and respecting those significant people in your life.

Thank you Marelisa for the awesome list and for the continued inspiration (the link to her fabulous blog is at the end of this post ) . . . I will be making the attempt to add some of these new habits to my life.

Hopefully there is something in the following list that will motivate you to make some changes in your life and make your quality of life the best that it can be.

1. Constantly ask yourself: “What do I want?”

2. Set goals.

3. Plan how you’re going to accomplish your goals.

4. Set clear deadlines for your goals.

5. Establish how you’re going to measure the progress you’re making toward achieving your goals.

6. Track the progress you’re making toward hitting your objectives.

7. Feed your mind with the thoughts, words, and images that are most consistent with who you want to be, what you want to have, and what you want to achieve.

8. Constantly ask yourself “how” you can achieve your goals.

9. Plan your day the night before.

10. Every morning as soon as you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep, look at your goals and visualize yourself achieving them.

11. Invest the first hour of every day on yourself.

12. Each day do the most important thing on your To-Do List first.

13. Do one thing at a time without distractions.

14. Each week review how the week went and what you accomplished.

15. Take the time to replenish your energy:  get enough sleep; take frequent, short breaks while you work; and keep a Secular Sabbath each week.

16. Take regular vacations.

17. Drink lots of water.

18. Eat three meals a day and have two healthy snacks each day.

19. Get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.

20. Be a lifelong learner.

21. Seek to continually perfect your craft.

22. Constantly ask yourself:  “How can this be improved?” and “Is there a better way to do this?”

23. Organize your space in a way that makes sense to you; everything should have its place.

24. When you’re done using something, put it back where it belongs.

25. Schedule regular decluttering sessions.

26. Associate with people you admire, respect and want to be like.

27. Move quickly when you have an idea or notice an opportunity.

28. Think before you act; consider the consequences of several different courses of action prior to making a decision on what steps to take.

29. Be frugal.

30. Save at least 10% of your income, off the top, before any other expenditure.

31. Tithe 10% of your income.

32. Do your homework and think hard before making any decision on where to invest your money.

33. Don’t invest in anything that you don’t understand.

34. Think in terms of the satisfaction that you feel from saving, investing, and growing your money.

35. Insure properly against any risk that you can’t write a check to cover.

36. Protect your estate from unnecessary taxes and frivolous lawsuits.

37. Consider carefully before making any expenditure.

38. Focus on those activities which you most enjoy, are good at, and make a valuable contribution to others.

39. Always be on the look-out for new opportunities.

40. Dress like a person who’s going somewhere in life.

41. Look for ways to make others be more successful in fulfilling their responsibilities.

42. Be persistent; stick to a task until it’s completed.

43. Think flexibly: consider alternative points of view, use lateral thinking, and be willing to change your mind based on additional information or reasoning.

44. Look for ways to put in more than you get out; sow more than you reap.

45. Maintain a positive attitude.

46. Delegate tasks that you don’t enjoy and which are not core activities.

47. Practice prevention: take the car in for regular tune-ups; get regular physical and dental checkups; and so on.

48. Be punctual.

49. Question your assumptions on a regular basis.

50. Make others feel important.

51. Spend time with the most important people in your life every day.

52. Give praise and approval to those who deserve it.

53. Pay attention to people when they talk and be a good listener.

54. When it comes to your significant other, make trust and forgiveness your default mode.

55. Focus more on what your partner does right than on what he or she does wrong.

56. Hug your significant other as soon as you see each other after work.

57. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” to your significant other every morning.

58. Give thanks each day for everything you received.

Marelisa's blog

read more

Endless destination

"Believing in yourself is an endless destination. Believing you have failed is the end of the journey."

Anonymous

MASTIN SAYS:

I know it's not always easy to walk on the path of your dreams. The ups and downs of the journey are a wonderful dance that guide us towards our deepest desires. As far as I can see, one of the main goals of the journey is to not judge a situation as bad or good, but remain detached.

If you are showing up and acting every day towards the greatest good for yourself and others then trust what shows up today. Know that what is placed at your feet is a special, unique experience just for you and on the other side of this experience if a brand new way of seeing the world.


Love the ups.
Love the downs.
It's a journey, this life,
love and savor every moment of it.

Source: The Daily Love

TDL on Twitter

www.Twitter.com/TheDailyLove

TDL on Facebook

http://bit.ly/TheDailyLoveFB

TDL Founder Mastin Kipp on Twitter

www.Twitter.com/MastinKipp

read more

Finding Time for You

Your Most Vital Commitment

Recognizing the importance of "you time" is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however. Even if you find a spot for it in your agenda, you may be dismayed to discover that your thoughts continuously stray into worldly territory.

To make the most of "you time," give yourself enough time on either side of the block of time you plan to spend on yourself to ensure that you do not feel rushed. Consider how you would like to pass the time, forgetting for the moment your obligations and embracing the notion of renewal. You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.

Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you. "You time" prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home. It also affords you a unique opportunity to learn about yourself, your needs, and your tolerances in a concrete way.

As unimportant as "you time" can sometimes seem, it truly is crucial to your well being because it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself.

Source: Daily Om

It occurs to me that my blogging theme for today is anxiety, life balance and relaxing after a period of chaotic and stressful times. Life changes can be swift and stressful, even if the changes are a good thing.

Seems like in the midst of these life changes, I have neglected taking quality time out for myself. My life has been a whirlwind since entering the world of employment after so many years of no routine. I'm still finding my way to a good balance between personal and work time. In the meantime, my days off fly by before I have time to access my personal needs and "me time".

Blogging is a huge part of it for me . . . determining what your quality "me time" is makes a huge difference in anxiety levels, quality of life and life balance itself.

Find time for yourself today . . .

read more

Savor each moment

Making life faster does not make it better. Enjoy the opportunity to savor each moment, each encounter, each experience. Having too much of something does not add any real value to your life. Choose to enjoy freedom from the excesses that would weigh you down. Pretending to be someone you're not will gain you nothing. Live authentically, and put the power of truth on your side. Worrying, fretting, fighting and resenting will never help to move you forward. Keep peace in your heart, in your thoughts, in your actions, and you'll add real value to your world. Your life is a unique and most precious thing. Choose to live it with quality in every moment. This is your day to fill with richness and meaning. Do what is right, what is real, what is true and what is you.

Ralph Marston



Quality of life that brings a balance of peace, love and happiness is what it is all about for me.

Love this quote :)

read more

Free to choose

"Most people do not really want freedom,

because freedom involves responsibility, and
most people are frightened of responsibility."

Sigmund Freud

In his book Nobody’s Victim, Christopher J. McCullough explains, In order to live your freedom, you must first accept reality. ‘These are the choices, and given those choices, which do I choose?’ Whether the option you select is pleasant or painful does not alter the fact that, given reality, this is your preference.

"To live your freedom, it is helpful to stop and ask yourself, ‘Why am I doing this?’ and then notice whether, given the options, you are choosing what you really want, or whether you want to choose something else.... Sometimes the exercise of freedom involves naming your poison -- all choices may lead to outcomes that are in some way painful. But the real pain is that of feeling powerless -- denying your freedom."

"Freedom is man's capacity to take a hand

in his own development. It is our capacity

to mold ourselves."

Dr. Rollo May

Source: Soul Journey

Today I'm feeling grateful for the freedom of opportunity that exists in my world.

The quote from Freud is so profound in the context
of my experience in the process of making money.

I've been an "employed person" and have also been an entrepreneur. Both require responsibility . . . however, entrepreneurship provides the reward of freedom. Although responsibility also means being able to support yourself financially and being realistic about it . . . meaning giving up "freedom" in order to have the security of a paycheck and employee benefits in these times of a fickle economy that seems to be spiraling out of control.

What about "quality of life" and
the denial of that freedom?

"Naming your poison" relates to working in a toxic environment where management is arrogant . . . so aware of unemployment rates and an unstable economy that makes a venture into entrepreneurship a very risky endeavor.

On the other hand, an economy driven by corporations on a hiring freeze makes those willing to take a risk into the freelance market an attractive alternative if you have the stomach for survival mode until you find the right niche in this fickle market.

The real pain IS feeling powerless,

but today I'm really feeling grateful

for being free to choose my poison.

read more

Disappointment

"The sudden disappointment of a hope

leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment

of that hope never entirely removes.”



“The size of your success is measured by the

strength of your desire; the size of your dream;

& how you handle disappointment along the way.”

Disappointment . . . a feeling of dissatisfaction

that results when your expectations are not realized.

Once again I am in the process of restructuring my blogs . . . this is an older post that defines the struggle I've experienced since becoming a widow. Life changes can grab a hold of you and turn you upside down . . . over and over again. In my new way of perceiving life with a positive attitude, I try to think of disappointment as what is thrown at us so we can appreciate the good things and times in our lives.

Since the following post was written, I've experienced several more deaths . . . close friends and family members . . . the grieving process never stops . . . and neither does disappointment. It is all a cycle of life.

Originally posted on August 25, 2007

Disappointment is the emotion I'm dealing with this week and until today have not been able to define exactly what I have been feeling.

A long time relationship recently ended, I'm still dealing with the grief and adjusting to losing my spouse, several friends disappointed me recently in a major way that I am having a difficult time getting over, I turned another year older last week and I'm disappointed with myself for not having myself together by now . . . hmmm I don't think I need to go on with the "whys" . . .

Understanding the emotions that disappointment and grief has thrown at me is what I needed. So today's quest is to deal with my feelings of disappointment and grief as they relate to my life circumstances . . . understanding each one is a part of the process of healing.

Some important points . . . when something is lost, you will experience stages of grief, sometimes disappointment, to varying degrees. The length of time is determined by the value a person places on what was lost.

Like I'm losing the ability to hear music coming from those awesome music players that I was so happy to find . . . it is one of life's little pleasures for me to have music play on my posts. A simple thing, a minor irritation . . . those are little disappointments that irritate the hell out of me, but are out of my control and I shouldn't worry about it, but it still makes me crazy since these things hold a degree of importance in the quality of my life. Not grief, just disappointment and irritation.

However, the loss of an important relationship . . . disappointment with the circumstances and grieving the death of a long time relationship. I've been trying to sweep the grief under the rug because I need to get over it and why was I feeling that way about another man anyway . . . guilt would come in waves at loving another man. It does not work that way, you can't ignore anything that really bothers you . . . it festers inside of you and turns into more than what it really is if you don't deal with it . . . whatever it is.

Problems of any kind don't just go away . . . like all the boxes in my house that I procrastinate about won't go away . . . I have to deal with them.

When JR died, I was so strong I amazed everyone around me . . . I didn't want those close to me to worry about me, I had to be strong for his mom who was falling apart.  It has to be heartbreaking to lose a child.  My mom was ready to fall apart but was strong like I was being to be there for me (vicious cycle).

There were times I just wanted everyone to leave me and go home so I could cry without ceasing. And if I was not strong, hold everything and everybody together, everyone would have fallen apart. In many ways I did, but I hid it from everyone close to me. They had no idea how hard I took it . . . at times I fooled myself. Little did I know that resisting these emotions rather than allowing myself to go through these stages only prolonged the process of acceptance and healing.

In my studies, I've learned that the grief process may take you through the different stages of denial, anger, guilt and acceptance in an unpredictable order several times, making you feel like you're getting nowhere. But if you work through each one as it comes, you will eventually come to the stage of acceptance where there is a sense of hope and well-being and purpose.

I've been through all of them . . . and I still live with insomnia, restlessness and anxiety which are also part of the process. I have approached acceptance . . . which is the stage where you accept the reality of what happened and know that regardless of the loss, life will go on and it can be good.

Disappointments keep me from believing my life can be happy again . . . like how can one person be lucky enough to find the degree of happiness I had in my former life again, even if it is a totally different life of embracing my solitude and being happy with whatever I end up doing. I don't see it because of all the obstacles and hurdles I have had to jump and feel like I'm getting nowhere as far as happiness goes. Sometimes, like this past week, I get tired of trying and just want to settle with the motions of breathing, be grateful for life and wait to die.

The only thing that keeps me going is that I know that God is in control and He can work in my life to accomplish His purposes . . . sometimes it is difficult to keep the faith . . .

I'm not looking for pity and I'm not having a pity party . . . this is me trying to understand and deal with what I'm going through and hopefully helping someone else cope with a similar circumstance.

Disappointment is universal, we all feel it in varying degrees and we go through similar stages of dealing with it . . . or we should . . .

Be grateful for all your blessings

no matter how small they are!!

read more

Don't go there

Unless you have gone through a depression or have faced a time in your life that seemed hopeless, you can’t relate to the elation one feels when those feelings have lifted, when your mind, body and soul are no longer dwelling in the depths of despair, but rather in the hope of faith and peace.

Today I am feeling so grateful that with lots of practice, I am learning how to successfully fight negative thinking and depression.

Although I slipped and fell away from the promise I made to myself of perpetual positive thinking and happy attitude, life circumstances pulled me away. I am finally realizing that I am only human, it is not a failure on my part for falling into that pit, it is normal to become down when life’s situations are not rosy. 

Those of us who believe in good versus evil will say it is a test, a lure of the devil.

No matter what, I refuse to live in that dwelling of despair and hopelessness . . . it is a sad way to live life. Despite life throwing one thing after another at me, I have faith and peace dwells in my heart once more . . . the only thing that is different is my attitude, my life circumstances are exactly the same.

I choose to live in peace and happiness . . . it is much better for the quality of my life.

read more