Leading by example

Often the best way to create change
is not to try to convince others to change,
but to change ourselves.

We all know from experience that we can’t change other people, yet most of us have a tendency to try. This is because we naturally feel the need to do something to change situations that we find troubling. It often doesn’t occur to us that the best way to create change is not to try to convince others to change but to change ourselves. When we make adjustments from within, we become role models for others, and leading by example is much more inspiring than a lecture or an argument.

We sometimes look outside ourselves for what’s wrong with the world, but the outside world is really just a mirror reflecting us back to ourselves. When we encounter negativity—anger, depression, fear—we empower ourselves by looking for its roots inside of ourselves. For example, if you have a friend who is unreliable, observe yourself and notice if there are ways in which you are unreliable. You may be surprised to discover that you have your own struggles with this issue in ways you weren’t able to see. Once you own the issue for yourself, you can begin to work for change within yourself. This will also enable you to have more compassion for your friend. At the very least, as you strive to become more reliable, you will become more of the person you want to be. In the best-case scenario, you will be an inspiration to others.

You can apply the same method to larger issues. For example, if there is something you see in the larger world that you would like to change—let’s say, greed—try taking responsibility for changing it in yourself. Instead of being angry with those you see as greedy, seek out the roots of your own greed and come to terms with your power to transform it. This may be the best way to lead the world toward greater moderation and generosity.

Source: The Daily Om

My mom has a saying that reminds
 me of the above article . . .

"You can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make him drink"

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Endless destination

"Believing in yourself is an endless destination. Believing you have failed is the end of the journey."

Anonymous

MASTIN SAYS:

I know it's not always easy to walk on the path of your dreams. The ups and downs of the journey are a wonderful dance that guide us towards our deepest desires. As far as I can see, one of the main goals of the journey is to not judge a situation as bad or good, but remain detached.

If you are showing up and acting every day towards the greatest good for yourself and others then trust what shows up today. Know that what is placed at your feet is a special, unique experience just for you and on the other side of this experience if a brand new way of seeing the world.


Love the ups.
Love the downs.
It's a journey, this life,
love and savor every moment of it.

Source: The Daily Love

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TDL Founder Mastin Kipp on Twitter

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Finding Time for You

Your Most Vital Commitment

Recognizing the importance of "you time" is far easier than finding a place for it in an active, multifaceted lifestyle, however. Even if you find a spot for it in your agenda, you may be dismayed to discover that your thoughts continuously stray into worldly territory.

To make the most of "you time," give yourself enough time on either side of the block of time you plan to spend on yourself to ensure that you do not feel rushed. Consider how you would like to pass the time, forgetting for the moment your obligations and embracing the notion of renewal. You may discover that you are energized by creative pursuits, guided meditation, relaxing activities during which your mind can wander, or modes of expression such as writing.

Even if you have achieved a functioning work-life balance, you may still be neglecting the most important part of that equation: you. "You time" prepares you for the next round of daily life, whether you are poised to immerse yourself in a professional project or chores around the home. It also affords you a unique opportunity to learn about yourself, your needs, and your tolerances in a concrete way.

As unimportant as "you time" can sometimes seem, it truly is crucial to your well being because it ensures that you are never left without the energy to give of yourself.

Source: Daily Om

It occurs to me that my blogging theme for today is anxiety, life balance and relaxing after a period of chaotic and stressful times. Life changes can be swift and stressful, even if the changes are a good thing.

Seems like in the midst of these life changes, I have neglected taking quality time out for myself. My life has been a whirlwind since entering the world of employment after so many years of no routine. I'm still finding my way to a good balance between personal and work time. In the meantime, my days off fly by before I have time to access my personal needs and "me time".

Blogging is a huge part of it for me . . . determining what your quality "me time" is makes a huge difference in anxiety levels, quality of life and life balance itself.

Find time for yourself today . . .

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From thinking to doing

Human behavior expert Theodore Bryant, author of the book “Self-Discipline in 10 Days: How to Go from Thinking to Doing”, has conducted self-discipline courses, workshops, and seminars for over a decade. He explains that everyone is made up of different selves. Often, your different sides want to go in different directions, which causes inner conflict. While part of you wants to clean the kitchen and balance the check book, another part of you wants to grab a bag of chips and a diet coke and veg out in front of the TV.

Bryant calls the side of you that tries to sabotage your efforts to be self-disciplined, Hyde. And, yes, the part of you that wants to be self-disciplined is Dr. Jekyll. The author cautions not to think of Hyde as an enemy, but, instead, he advises that you regard Hyde as a part of you which you’ll want to recruit to help you in your efforts to achieve your goals, resolutions, and objectives.

Here are some of the strategies you can use to overcome the resistance which Hyde will put up whenever you try to take action toward achieving your goals:


Excuses and Action Oriented Self-Talk

Whenever you hear yourself coming up with an excuse as to why you can’t take the steps necessary in order to accomplish a goal you’ve set for yourself, remind yourself that it’s just a tactic being used by Hyde to avoid doing the work. In order to counteract Hyde’s negativism, use action oriented self-talk.

Action oriented self-talk is positive, specific, and present tense. Suppose you tell yourself that you’re going to spend the next two hours organizing your closet. However, you get distracted by other things and, two hours later, you haven’t accomplished anything productive. What happened? Hyde started working on your subconscious to get you to do anything but clean your closet. What you need to do is replace Hyde’s self-defeating subconscious messages with positive, specific, present tense messages.

Once you make the decision to organize your closet, begin saying the following out loud: “I am now organizing my closet.” When you do this, the subconscious mind will turn all of its attention to organizing the closet, regardless of what you may actually be doing at the time. Your subconscious mind will begin sending messages to your motor functions, emotions, and other members of your physical and psychological network that will be in line with organizing your closet. In addition, it will begin to look for ways to organize your closet.

Here’s an example used by Bryant: You’re sitting in your favorite chair reading a magazine. Part of you begins to think that your time could be used more productively by working on that eBook you’ve been meaning to write. However, Hyde begins to say: “I’m reading a magazine.” Therefore, your subconscious turns all of its resources toward reading the magazine. At this point, Dr. Jekyll needs to say: “I’m working on my eBook.” Now, your subconscious will begin to point its resources toward working on your eBook:

* You’ll begin to feel agitated as you sit there leafing through the magazine.
* You’ll start getting ideas for things to include in your eBook.
* You’ll feel like getting up, sitting at your desk, turning on your computer, and getting to work on your eBook.
* As long as you keep repeating your positive, specific, present tense message, you’ll feel compelled to work on your eBook. Repetition is the key to success.
* If you say it out loud, it will be even more powerful than simply repeating it silently.


Hyde might try to convince you that you will take action to achieve your goals; you’ll just do it later. After all, if you want to start exercising you’ll need a new jogging outfit. You can’t possibly be seen in any of the old work out pants and ratty t-shirts you have in your closet. And in order to buy new exercise clothes, you first have to pay off your credit card balance in full. After all, getting out of debt is another one of your goals. So, you see, exercising is not something you can do at the moment. But you’ll do it later. (Hyde is quite devious.)

The tactic to use here is to question whether there’s a legitimate reason to delay getting started, or if it sounds suspiciously like one of Hyde’s clever excuses. Remember, Hyde is like a little kid who will come up with all sorts of ruses to avoid his parents’ orders to clean his room. It’s perfectly fine for you to exercise in the clothes you already have; the perceived obstacle of needing a new jogging suit is just Hyde trying to trick you into spending an hour surfing the Internet instead of exercising.


Fear of Failure

Bryant points out that study after study has shown that the greatest obstacle to personal success is fear of failure. The pain of past failures lingers in the shadows of your subconscious, reminding you of how awful you felt the last time you failed. Why would you want to set yourself up to feeling like that again by pursuing a new goal? Just sit back and enjoy your TV show. Go ahead, put your feet up on the coffee table. You could even grab that pint of Rocky Road ice cream you have in the freezer. That feels nice and safe, doesn’t it?

We’ve been trained by society that failing is shameful. Is it any mystery, then, that we’re so reluctant to attempt anything at which we can’t be sure of succeeding? When part of us wants to do something, and part of us is dragging its feet because it’s terrified of failing, it’s like trying to drive a car with the handbrake on. In order to succeed at achieving your goals, you have to fully invest yourself in the task at hand.

The trick here is to separate your performance on a given task from how you feel about yourself. You probably have a tendency to say to yourself: “If I fail at this, I’m a failure.” You need to begin regarding failure as evidence of experimentation and attempts at self-growth, instead of seeing it as a blow to your self-esteem. Refuse to link failure to how you feel about yourself. As Bryant points out, failure is not a tombstone, but a stepping stone to success.


Conclusion

You’ve known for a while that you have a Hyde lurking around in your subconscious, haven’t you? After all, how many times have you made goals and resolutions with the best of intentions to follow through, only to find that you never get started, or that you leave things half-finished? Bryant offers many more clues in “Self-Discipline in 10 Days” on how to recognize Hyde’s attempts at sabotaging your efforts, and what to do about it.

What types of things have you caught Hyde doing to try and prevent you from getting things done, or to stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to accomplish your dreams?


This article is a reprint from one of my favorite blogs . . .

http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com/

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A position of positivity

You may feel happy and upbeat today. A lively and entertaining mood may come over you, leading you to observe your life and your prospects with an optimistic eye. Even if you face challenges as your proceed down your path, you’ll likely look for the blessings in each new difficulty you encounter. You can inspire the individuals with whom you work and play to look at their own lives with more hope and enthusiasm. The good-natured outlook you project can serve as a positive example that drives others to look to you for guidance. Your optimism may give you the strength to help others overcome the distressing situations they come upon. You will likely be blessed with the ability to put a positive spin on the darkest of circumstances today.

Optimism can help you retain an upbeat attitude and hopeful outlook as you move through life. Outside forces can wield a strong influence over what we feel and how we choose to respond to those feelings. When you believe that the future will be bright, you create a wellspring of buoyancy in your soul that you can draw from when your worldly concerns go awry. You’ll never balk or be disheartened when faced with circumstances that slow or block your progress. Your positive nature will allow you to take a playful stance when dealing with distressing or difficult situations. The blessings inherent in life’s good and bad aspects will always be apparent to you. The optimism you hold in your heart today will allow you to show a smile in any situation.

Source: Daily Om


Sometimes I have a difficult
 time remembering this!

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Satisfying your desires

Your mind is always searching, like a squirrel always searching for acorns. The squirrel sits, surrounded by the acorns it has gathered.

Is it seated 'blissed out' in the midst of acorn consciousness?

No! The squirrel is wondering where it can find its next bunch of acorns. With all due respect, this is also what your ego-based mind has in store for you. Its basic rule is to never completely satisfy you, to keep you looking for the next treasure, constantly searching for the fulfillment of your next desire.

It is important that you understand the force of your desires. They are addictions, and being addicted to anything simply means that you feel there is something you need to make you Whole that you do not have.


Source: (Bartholomew through Mary-Margaret Moore,
from the book, Reflections of an Elder Brother)

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Life is best shared

The time we pass in the company of our loved ones is valuable because it affords us an opportunity to explore the range of closeness we share with the important people in our lives. As we move through life’s trials and triumphs together, we form the emotionally intense memories that act as the foundation for the bonds of friendship and love. Since we remain in contact and are able to reconnect regularly, we can realistically view our relationships as dynamic and able to evolve. We are thus more apt to make strong commitments and trust that the people we care about will be steadfastly loyal in their dealings with us. The camaraderie you feel today can open your mind to new worlds of closeness that are deeper and more profound than what you have experienced in the past.

Source: The Daily Om





Nothing is more beautiful!

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