Growing Day by Day

Suffering is the sandpaper of our life.

 It does its work of shaping us.

 Suffering is part of our training
 program for becoming wise.

Ram Dass

We understand that we want to be better but have no clear definition of what better means and that is part of the process.

At some point in our lives, many of us find ourselves overcome with the desire to become better people. While we are all uniquely capable of navigating this world, we may nonetheless feel driven to grow, expand, and change. This innate need for personal expansion can lead us down many paths as we develop within the context of our individual lives. Yet the initial steps that can put us on the road to evolution are not always clear. We understand that we want to be better but have no clear definition of “better.” To ease this often frustrating uncertainty, we can take small steps, keeping our own concept of growth in mind rather than allowing others to direct the course of our journey. And we should accept that change won’t happen overnight—we may not recognize the transformations taking place within us at first.

Becoming a better person in your own eyes is a whole-life project, and thus you should focus your step-by-step efforts on multiple areas of your existence. Since you likely know innately which qualities you consider good, growing as an individual is simply a matter of making an effort to do good whenever possible. Respect should be a key element of your efforts. When you acknowledge that all people are deserving of compassion, consideration, and dignity, you are naturally more apt to treat them in the manner you yourself wish to be treated. You will intuitively become a more active listener, universally helpful, and truthful. Going the extra mile in all you do can also facilitate evolution. Approaching your everyday duties with an upbeat attitude and positive expectations can help you make the world a brighter, more cheerful place. Finally, coming to terms with your values and then abiding by them will enable you to introduce a new degree of integrity and dignity into your life.

As you endeavor to develop yourself further, you can take pride not only in your successes, but also in the fact that you are cultivating consciousness within yourself through your choices, actions, and behaviors. While you may never feel you have reached the pinnacles of awareness you hope to achieve, you can make the most of this creative process of transformation. Becoming a better person is your choice and is a natural progression in your journey of self-awareness.

Source: Daily Om

Attitude plays a huge part in the quest of becoming a "better person."

My perspective goes out of whack when I'm down, worrying about everything, in a foul mood and all positive vibes have flown out the window.  I'm learning not to even attempt to make anything better since that will just set me up to fail . . . adding insult to injury.  

I know to take a "time out to chill out" . . . that is usually when I write about whatever is bothering me . . . discuss it with The Captain to benefit from his carefree attitude (and hopefully learn to be more like him) . . . or do nothing productive at all and do something fun.  I'm grateful to have the freedom to be able to do that.

One of my areas in need of adjustment is attitude in my path to becoming a better person.  It is learning which battles are worth fighting, the things that are worthy of worrying about and knowing when to let go of those worries that we have no control over.  There has to be a good balance!

I'm finally realizing this attitude has been something I learned as a little girl growing up in a family who worries and frets about everything.  It won't take overnight for me to let go of that attitude that tends to warp my perspective.  While it is healthy to have a responsible concern about certain things, taking it over the top is counterproductive.

Cultivating consciousness has become of utmost importance in my life and I am more aware of it with every day that passes.  My greatest feelings of achievement come when I can immediately recognize that I am starting to fret a bit too much about something and move on to something else without a change in attitude.  

Definite progress that is leading to a better perspective toward life!

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Creative Thinking

“Visualize yourself standing before a gateway on a hilltop. Your entire life lies out before you and below. Before you step through, pause and review the past; the learning and the joys, the victories and the sorrows -- everything it took to bring you here.”

-- The Book of Runes

Creative thinking raises awareness of where you have been, where you are and where you want to be in your life, focusing on aspirations, life purpose and life lessons you have learned along the way.

Breaking it down into small pieces through the practice of asking yourself questions helps to focus on those small pieces.  The small pieces will bring the big picture into better focus.

An excellent idea is one I found on the website Higher Awareness, an excellent self-awareness resource.  The idea is to formulate a series of questions that are evaluated on a quarterly basis.  I love the idea of readdressing the questions on a regular basis.


Some examples you can start with and tweak as time goes on, until you find the perfect set of questions that pertain specifically to your life . . .

What was my major accomplishment

 in the past three months?

What made it meaningful?

What is my main challenge?

What are the obstacles that get

 in the way?

What can I do to overcome the obstacles?

Undesirable traits uncovered through life lessons

 that need to be addressed.

How have I improved on those undesirable traits

 in the past three months?

What can I do to achieve greater improvement?

Dreams and aspirations that need more

 attention . . . and how do I approach it?

A good way to begin is to take the featured quote and start writing down your thoughts.  Writing and asking myself questions based on what I wrote always helps to clarify those jumbled up thoughts in my head!

Although this is an awesome practice to get into no matter what time of year it is, there isn't a better time than the beginning of a new year . . . . the symbolic "new beginning" . . . start your year with some creative thinking toward a happier and fulfilled life.

Happy New Year!

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New Year Resolutions . . . if you must!

Through the years I've written many posts regarding New Year Resolutions.  In my opinion, this yearly ritual is a set up for failure.  They don't work for me, so I try to make incremental changes throughout the year as I deem them necessary.

How about you?  

Facebook is buzzing with everyone's New Year Resolutions that will probably be long forgotten in February.  

Something I find very amusing . . . the weight loss commercials on television that promptly start after Christmas.  Most of them are gone by February!

If you are one of those people who must make resolutions for the new year, I found an article on Real Simple that you may find useful.  The link to the entire article can be found at the bottom of this post.

Some tips to help you achieve your goals:

Be Specific

Vague goals won’t work. “You’ve got to develop a specific action plan for change,” says John Norcross, Ph.D., co-author of Changeology: 5 Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions ($25, amazon.com). Map out your strategy before New Year’s arrives.

Make Your Goal Public

Share your decision to change with friends and family who can offer support when you’re wavering and encouragement when you’re doing well at sticking to your resolution. “Public commitments are generally more successful than private decisions,” says Norcross.

Substitute Good Behaviors for “Bad”

Don’t rely on willpower alone to help you change, advises Norcross. That approach won’t work. Instead, build in a healthy behavior that’s incompatible with the one you want to change.

Track Your Progress

Record or chart your changed behavior. “Research indicates that such ‘self-monitoring’ increases the probability of keeping your resolution,” says Norcross.

Ready to make your plan? Here are more specific tips on:

How to save money

How to lose weight

How to reduce stress

How to drink less

How to get in better shape

How to get ahead at work

How to improve your relationships

Happy New Year to everyone and good luck with your resolutions!

To view the entire article, click here.

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Finding Hidden Gifts

"We need to make friends with what we reject, what we see as "bad" in ourselves and in other people. We must not only tolerate what we find painful, but actually approach it more deeply, more wholeheartedly rather than trying to escape from it. The only way to do this successfully is with an open heart, letting it soften you. This way you are not attacking it or seeking to eradicate it, but instead embracing it. For only then will it serve the purpose for which it exists and can reveal to you the gift hidden within it.

Identify something you reject in yourself or in another and take it into your heart. Let it speak to you and reveal its teaching, blessing or energy." 

Source: The Soul Journey 

Well, it sounds easy, doesn't it?

Letting those irritating things in ourselves and others speak to us is one thing . . . they already speak volumes to me!  The trick is allowing it to reveal its blessing in our lives when it is painful or a major irritation robbing us of peace and happiness.

It seems to me that it is all in the perspective in which it is approached.  A positive thinker will embrace the hidden gift rather quickly, while the negative thinker will see it as an impossible task.  

The negative thinker will just want to sweep it under the rug and either ignore it completely, hoping it will just go away or complain about it, declaring that life is just not fair and hoping that since they are entitled to be happy, the situation or the trait will just go away.  Guess what?  It won't!

There are many levels and aspects of this concept.  While seeking the hidden gifts in our own flaws may be an achievable task, it is quite a different story when it comes to another person.  Disagreements in a relationship usually have so many layers, they get convoluted when combined with personality traits.

Perhaps the way to first approach the situation is to envision the end result in a compassionate and positive manner . . . peace and happiness.  Ask yourself the right questions . . . "how can peace and happiness be achieved in this situation?" . . . take each identifying factor individually rather than combined with everything else.

When it comes to evaluating and analyzing the irritating thing involving someone else, make sure that all bitterness and anger of the situation is set aside before even attempting to think about it positively.

All in all, I found this concept very interesting and can prove to be an insightful way to look at life situations and those special people in our lives.  We are all special and unique individuals with our gifts (whether they be hidden or not) that others find pleasant and attractive which also comes with those things that are irritating!

Love yourself and those you love enough to find those hidden gifts!

  

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Sad season!

Being a news junkie with all the bad news of the world made for a very depressing holiday season.

Each year that passes holds the promise that "this will be the year" that I enjoy the holidays again.  However, the blue funk starts right around Halloween to coincide with Christmas being pushed down our throats earlier every year by the retail trade.  

You can't blame them, they are just trying to survive these weak economic times.

This year's news has been unusually disturbing to me.  Ugly politics, fiscal cliffs, a violent hurricane leaving unimaginable devastation and another sad school shooting has done me in.  But, as I sit at my computer writing this post, the news is on the television!

I was going to write a series of posts about the school shooting, gun control and the sad state of mental health . . . but I've seen too much ugliness at other blogs that I just don't want to deal with, so I have decided against it.  I'm not here to be controversial.  There is enough of that on the news!

Needless to say, I've taken a backward turn to the dark side and further away from peace, love and happiness than I care to be.  

I know I'm not alone with these feelings . . . the holiday season is not a happy one for many in this world . . . and I can't imagine anyone going through the season who have been affected by the tragedies we have heard about on the news!

Having said all that, the emphasis for the new year will once again be on optimism and attitude adjustment. I'm so happy the Christmas holiday is over and the symbolic new beginning of a year is upon us!

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A Time for Blessings

Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I go back to my old blogs to revisit where I've been to appreciate where I am now.  The following writing spoke to me today . . . I need to go back to the basics of a simple abundance lifestyle.  

I didn't write it and I have no idea where it came from.  

Simple abundance is priceless . . .

Set your own pace........When someone is pushing you, it's ok to tell them they're pushing.

Take nothing for granted........Watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbors mow.

Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive........Rest isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.

Listen to the wind blow........It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow........And now.........Now counts.

Rest on your laurels........They bring comfort whatever their size, age or condition.

Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.

Give yourself permission to be late sometimes........Life is for living, not scheduling.

Listen to the song of a bird........The complete song. Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.

Slow down. God is still in heaven........You are not responsible for doing it all...yourself... right now.

Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past........Rest there. Each moment has a richness that takes a lifetime to savor.

Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn or possess........God's gifts just are. Be grateful and their purpose will be clear.

When you walk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next........Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.

Talk and play with children........It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.

Create a place in your home...At your work....in your heart...where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.

Take time to think........Action is good and necessary, but it's  fruitful only if we muse, ponder and mull.

Make time for play........The things you like to do. Whatever your age, your inner child needs re-creation.

Watch and listen to the night sky........It speaks.

Listen to the words you speak........Especially in prayer.

Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders........ There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.

Divide big jobs into little jobs........If God took six days to create the universe, can you do any better?

Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency........The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.

Take a day off alone........Make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.

Pet a furry friend........You will give and get the gift of now.

Work with your hands........It frees the mind.

Take time to wonder........Without wonder, life is merely an existence.

Sit in the dark........It will treat you to see and hear, taste and smell.

Once in awhile........Turn down the lights, The throttle, The invitations. Less really can be more.

Let go........Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do...but often it is the best.

Taste your food........God gave it to delight as well as nourish.

Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set........They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.

And as you ramble on thru life my dearest friend........Keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole.

"AND SLOWLY COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS ONE AT A TIME"

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Relate to yourself

Relate to yourself through your journal

 "To write spiritually is to engage in a search for authentic language. You’ll find your truth by writing your way to it." 

-- Patrice Vecchione 

Who would allow you to totally ignore, abuse, laugh with, swear at, shed tears on, get angry at and be totally honest with him/her?

 Your journal does. 

Your journal is an unconditional friend. It does not reject, manipulate, judge, laugh at or ridicule you. It’s always there for you. So be honest with your best friend and it will help you discover who you are.

"The positive thing about writing is that you connect with yourself in the deepest way, and that's heaven. You get a chance to know who you are, to know what you think. You begin to have a relationship with your mind."

-- Natalie Goldberg

Source: Soul Journey

I've gotten away from writing in my journal, which could attribute to my lost feelings through another time of transformation and changes.

My journal is the one place I can truly be honest about everything, allowing me to be my true, authentic self.

Life is ever-changing.  Transitions can be slow, but continual . . . giving the illusion of standing still.  But nothing or no one stands completely still.  Time will eventually find you at a place you don't recognize, can't relate to . . . leaving that feeling of being lost.

Keeping a journal was the best tool found by way of my therapy sessions.  Even in times of change and confusion, I knew how I was feeling about everything, with a sketchy map of the path out of that place.

As The Captain and I define the rest of our lives professionally, I keep asking myself what would truly make me happy in the quest of a successful way to making a living.  Honestly, I really don't know . . . and once again, I am grateful that I have the opportunity to find out, but it is going to take serious soul searching to come up with the thing that will make me truly happy.  

All I know at this time is that whatever I end up doing will involve using my creativity and at the same time keeping in mind that the economy really sucks.  

This post just proved that by putting thoughts in writing, I have defined two starting points in my quest . . . what can I do creatively that will prove to be worth my while monetarily in poor economic times . . . the variables being creativity and poor economic times.  I feel a little less lost already!

As you find yourself in times of confusion, life changes and transition, try writing your thoughts in a journal or start a blog (they can be private).  In the past, my grateful posts were the most insightful for me.  It is important to just get in touch with your thoughts and feelings.

Lesson learned!  

Time to relate to myself again!

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