Communicating honestly

Graphics by Gina Alfani  

Not settling for less than what you desire from your relationships can be the equivalent of walking a tightrope.  It is a delicate balance . . .

Have you ever "inserted foot into mouth"?  I've often wondered where that saying came from, but I have definitely been there and done that!

Speaking the truth requires guidance from within before "inserting foot into mouth" and ending up creating conflict or tension as a result of saying something off the top of our head and overlooking another person's feelings.

Don't we sometimes sacrifice our own truth for fear of hurting someone's feelings or starting a conflict?  At that point, we are not being true to ourselves . . . tipping that delicate balance and creating another type of imbalance within ourselves.

Living with integrity and behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values, speaking in a compassionate, straightforward manner will ultimately result in becoming less guarded about our feelings and those of others.  

By all means, communicate honestly and speak the truth, however, be conscious of how you communicate those truths with others.

Always be true to yourself!

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A time of change

Life as we know has always been changing and evolving from the beginning of time.

However, a time of serious change has descended upon the earth on many fronts in recent past. Societal changes are swiftly moving in many directions.

Change is ever present . . . you can see it in world events . . . you can see it looking out beyond the walls that shelter you in your own communities.

At the time of growing up, I don't recall people running around with guns randomly shooting people and turning the gun on themselves. That is sheer lunacy . . . however, I still respect the right to bear arms. It has become a time when not bearing arms for your own protection is lunacy.  Are we headed back to the days of the wild west?  Will gun holsters become a new fashion statement?

On the economic front, local businesses are failing, unemployment running rampant . . . once thriving malls are like ghost towns, little mom and pop businesses have been closing their doors at a rapid pace . . . they just can't make it, leaving a greater gap for employment opportunities. Society in general are just scared to let go of the money they do have, putting the dreams of small-time entrepreneurs nearly out of reach.

The times we are living in are becoming more disturbing by the day. Stay informed, educate yourself on what is going on . . . don't just listen to the sound bites on the news, dig into the facts for yourself, keep an open mind and think for yourself . . . don't let others do the thinking for you. It is especially crucial on the political front . . . know who you are voting for and what they stand for.

These are the tests of time where the strong will survive. If you fall down, get up  and start over again. Keep the hope and faith with the knowledge that there is always someone who is not as fortunate as yourself for whatever reason. It is a difficult time to be optimistic, but it has become a necessity to know that "this too will pass" . . .

Living the lifestyle of simple abundance . . . being grateful for the little things that God has blessed me with and really striving toward a life filled with peace, love and happiness . . . that is what keeps me strong and grounded.

There is a quote on the sidebar of

my blog that is my philosophy of life 

"You have succeeded in life when 

all you really want is only what you really need."

Vernon Howard

What do I really need?

Peace, love and happiness 

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The spirit of love

How important is it to be "right"?


When ego takes over in our relationships over something said or done by another person that we don't agree with, the focus turns from the spirit of love to the angry need to be right.


Of course it depends on the situation, but isn't it better to just let it go without debating the issue to the point that could lead to consequences that are far worse than just being right?


Human nature can confine us to a world of rigid rules as criteria for someone else without looking into our own actions or belief system first. There is also the choice of accepting the fact that they are "wrong" and simply choose to love them anyway . . . agree to disagree and live by the "Spirit of Love."


Love is more important than being right . . . at least that is my opinion.

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What is love?

What is your definition of love?

Ask ten people and you will get ten different definitions
since the meaning of love can be perceived from
differing points of view and depending on
the set of emotions.

The word "love" has many connotations.

The focus of this post is romantic love . . .

"When mystics use the word love, they use it very carefully -- in the deeply spiritual sense, where to love is to know; to love is to act. If you really love, from the depths of your Consciousness, that love gives you a native wisdom. You perceive the needs of others intuitively and clearly, with detachment from any personal desires; and you know how to act creatively to meet those needs, dexterously surmounting any obstacle that comes in the way. Such is the immense, driving power of love."

-- Eknath Easwaran

"Therefore, when I say that ‘I love,’ it is not I who love, but in reality Love who acts through me. Love is not so much something I do as something that I am. Love is not a doing but a state of being - a relatedness, a connectedness to another mortal, an identification with her or him that simply flows within me and through me, independent of my intentions or my efforts."

-- Robert A. Johnson

"When you are aware that you are the force that is Life, anything is possible. Miracles happen all the time, because those miracles are performed by the heart. The heart is in direct communion with the human soul, and when the heart speaks, even with the resistance of the head, something inside you changes; your heart opens another heart, and true love is possible."

-- Don Miguel Ruiz

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Contradictions in life

I must learn to love the fool in me,

the one who feels too much,

talks too much,

takes too many chances,

wins sometimes and loses often,

lacks self-control,

loves and hates,

hurts and gets hurt,

promises and breaks promises,

laughs and cries.

(Theodore Isaac Rubin)

Aren't we all a contradiction of ourselves
at different times of our lives?

Self-acceptance of who we are, no matter what . . .
because it is who we are, no matter what.

There will always be a time here and there when
we are "not ourselves" . . . for one reason or
another. It is human nature.

None of us are perfect!

The above quote says it all . . . we must love
ourselves even when we do or say stupid stuff.

Does it make it all go away by inflicting
self-hatred on ourselves?

Of course not!

It is ok to be true to yourself . . .

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Optimism and being open to possibilities

The Oxford English Dictionary defines optimism as having "hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome of something; a tendency to take a favorable or hopeful view."

Being open to possibilities is when one expects the best possible outcome from any given situation. Why go into anything, even waking up in the morning contemplating on the newly born day, without the vision that this is gonna be the best day ever. An optimistic mindset can lead to that awesome day . . .

Even when I go into my defeatist mode, feeling beat up, fallen down and momentarily hopeless, I am getting to the point where I can get back to a positive attitude and being open to awesome possibilities that my dreams and visions take me to.

Walt Disney is my greatest hero . . . the ultimate dreamer. His "crazy" dream became a reality that was successful beyond his greatest expectations. I've heard the stories of how many times he "fell down" and got right back up . . .

I absolutely love the following quotes . . .

some from my greatest heroes . . .

they are my inspiration.


"Leaders need to be optimists. Their vision is beyond the present."

Rudy Giuliani


"Become a possibilitarian.
No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are,
raise your sights and see possibilities --
always see them, for they're always there."

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale


"One of the saddest lines in the world is,
'Oh come now - be realistic.'
The best parts of this world were not fashioned by
those who were realistic. They were fashioned by those
who dared to look hard at their wishes and
gave them horses to ride."

Richard Nelson Bolles


"The world would have you agree with its dismal dream
of limitation. But the light would have you soar
like the eagle of your sacred visions."

Alan Cohen


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Walt Disney


"God didn't have time to make a nobody, only a somebody.
I believe that each of us has God-given talents
within us waiting to be brought to fruition."

Mary Kay Ash


"I dreamed impossible dreams.
And the dreams turned out beyond anything
I could possibly imagine.
You know, from my point of view,
I'm the luckiest cat on the planet."

Hugh Hefner

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Transition and fear

“Cause you could spend your life
Lookin’ for your own reflection
Time could blur the lines
Between what’s real
And what’s projected
Had I known what I lost?
What I gained, what it’d cost
I’d still give what remains
To be myself again”

from the song
Be Myself Again
by Donna Summer

My emotions have been all over the place with that displaced feeling of not knowing where I belong in this world and looking in the mirror and not knowing who I am. It is one of those times in life when we momentarily take the liberty of losing ourselves in the midst of a bad situation.

Emotions play a big part of who we are and I am very good at masking my emotions to the point of not recognizing myself. Haven’t we all been here at one stage or another of our lives?

I held my emotions long enough to make rational decisions about my future and it all hit me . . . the stress of past months. I’ve been there before when keeping it together through one of life's awful circumstance and have allowed myself to fall apart after it was done. Sometimes the strength we possess is amazing.

Tears are a cleansing of the soul when an emotional surge is needed to express those things held inside too long. Now my strength has been renewed by emotions that were as temporary waves, ridden out through a safe harbor within.

Times of change and transition bring out all types of emotions. My boyfriend describes how I am feeling as being "conflicted." He's right . . . as I ponder my present life circumstance today, fear compounded with anger . . . the fear of change and fear of the coming days grip me at this moment. Fear of the unknown is what would best describe what most people going through a life transition experience.

When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation . . . it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams. (Les Brown)

We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims. (R. Buckminster Fuller)

Experience is all we have to learn and grow through. Change is currently a major part of that experience. If there were no change there would be no growth. If there is no growth there is only stagnation. (Athene Raefiel)

Psychology Today describes fear as "a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we couldn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are in no way life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them."

Lyrics

Be Myself Again | Donna Summer

Let me introduce myself

I'm a woman that you've never seen

You might know me from somewhere else

As someone that I've never been

I gave everything to play the game

My soul fell apart at the seams

I fell down like a house of cards

When somebody pulled the queen

'Cause you could spend your life

Lookin for your own reflection

Time could blur the lines

Between what's real and what's projected

Had I known

What I lost

What I gained

What it'd cost

I'd still give what remains

To Be Myself Again

You must believe me when I say

Don't live someone else's design

Turn it around like a photograph

The writings been there all the time

Now you can have all these

Hopes and dreams

The ones I can't use anymore

I don't know what it is you lost

But I hope you got what you came for

'Cause you could spend your life

Looking for your own reflection

Time could blur the lines

Between what's real and what's projected

Had I known

What I lost

What I gained

What it'd cost

I'd still give what remains

To Be Myself Again

Sometimes I want to leave right now

Sometimes I want to cry out loud

I want to let it all hang out

But I don't want to let you down

Sometimes I want to just lay here

Sometimes I want to disappear

I want to show you all my fear

But I don't want to let you down

'Cause you could spend your life

Looking for your own reflection

Time could blur the lines

Between what's real and what's projected

Had I known

What I lost

What I gained

What it'd cost

I'd still give what remains

To Be Myself Again

To Be Myself Again

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