The Comfort Zone

Our day-to-day demands can quickly take their toll on our well-being if we are not vigilant about caring for ourselves as best we can. One way we can ensure that we have an opportunity to relax and recuperate each day is to create a soft place to land when we arrive home. This landing pad, whether it is an entire room or merely a small corner of a larger area, can provide us with a safe and comforting refuge in which we can decompress and recover from the day’s stresses. There, we are enveloped in feelings of security that transcend other issues that may be unfolding in our homes. Our landing pads also act as way stations that enable us to shift our attention away from our outer-world concerns and back to our inner-world needs. 

To create a soft place to land in your home, begin by scouting potential locations. Or perhaps your entire home is your landing pad in which case you may only need to declutter. Your habits can often provide you with insight into the perfect spot, as there may be an area of your home you gravitate to naturally when you are in need of comfort. Any space in which you find it easy to let go of stress and anxiety can become your landing pad. A basement or attic, spare room, or unused storage area, furnished with items that soothe you, can give you the privacy you need to unwind. If you appreciate the elements, you may find that spending time in a section of your garden or outdoor patio helps you release the day’s tensions. Preparing these spaces can be as easy as replacing clutter with a small selection of beautiful objects that put you in a relaxed frame of mind. Remember to consider noise and activity levels while choosing the site of your landing pad. If you know that ordinary human commotion will distract you from your purpose, look for a secluded spot. 

The soft place to land that you create should inspire within you the mantra, “I can breath here. I can relax here. I know I am safe here.” When you return to your home after braving worldly rigors, you will feel a subtle yet tranquil shift occur inside of you as you settle in to this most personal of retreats and feel centered once again. 

Source:  Daily Om

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The Encouragement of Love

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott

There are times that a strong faith in God or the guidance and encouragement from those we love and look up to make all the difference in the world. Some are lucky enough to have both.

God's love and guidance is available to everyone.  Hopefully we all have those who love and encourage us when we need it.

Do you sometimes have the vision but lack the motivation to reach your highest aspirations?  Do you reach out to those you love in these times?  Do you trust enough to follow where they may lead you?

It all starts with the first rung of the ladder and progresses toward the top at its own pace.  There are times when trying to reach the top in the first step will lead you nowhere . . . it is impossible, or so it seems.  Isn't it the purpose of a ladder, to take one step at a time?

It is faith and trust that leads us to that first step.

The following is an excerpt from a Daily Om article that speaks of trusting in those we love to help us make that first step, or the second, or third.

"The love of important people in our lives can serve as a secure foundation for our outer-world endeavors because knowing that we are cared for grants us a higher degree of self-confidence than we might otherwise have known. 

We can courageously take risks and embark upon endeavors that take us outside of our comfort zones because we know that we can retreat into the affectionate embrace of the important people in our lives if anything should go wrong. Likewise, simply knowing that these individuals believe that we are capable of achieving great feats of emotional and intellectual fortitude provides us with much of the strength we need to prevail over adversity.

You will feel the weighty comfort of the tenderness of those who love you today, and the security this comfort affords you will help you grow as an individual."

Source: Daily Om

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Deliriously Happy in the Midst of Blahs

It occurred to me today that January is the "Monday" of the year.

Once the ball drops on New Years Eve, for most of us, the festivities are over for another year.

In my case, January should be a great month since it marks the end of the "dreaded season," however, the blahs have continued to plague me.

The conclusion I've come to is that my "purpose" has been lost in the shuffle and changes of life.  Since The Captain and I got married, he made it through a long recovery after having a difficult surgery . . . we decided to "semi-retire" and enjoy life.  He quit his job and I never went back to work after my last job disappointment and I honestly don't have the desire to go back to the rat race of office politics.

My life is at a place that many would envy, so why do I have the blahs?  How do I get my "purpose" back? Do I even know what it is?  Am I still going through the guilt thing that I'm here and JR is not.  Does that keep me from enjoying life to the fullest?

I can remember a time in my life when I would hear about people who retire soon die because they lose their purpose . . . I would laugh and think "I'd love to have that problem" as I lived through the draining day-to-day challenge of everyday life in the corporate world.

Where is the "happy medium" of balance we all strive for?  Perhaps for me it is simply getting closer in touch with my spiritual side.

The irony of deliriously happy in the midst of blahs . . .

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The Monsters in the Closet

Pay attention to your emotions

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it."  ~ Doc Childre


Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.

But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.

The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

"By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it."  ~ Joseph Collins

Source: Higher Awareness

It has been a difficult month . . . December usually is.  There have been a myriad of emotions that have been my monster in the closet.

First of all, grief.  It is the one emotion that is always looming and floating around my thoughts, which sometimes gets the best of me.  This month it was compounded by two deaths in my extended family.  One was expected, the other was totally unexpected and especially painful.  Both deaths took my thoughts to places in the past where these two beautiful people touched my life and I contemplated their affect on my life. All of this thinking took me to other places of grief to a very disturbing journey of revisiting all those important people who have disappeared from my life, never to appear again.  Grief can be a vicious cycle.

By all means, I did not starve my emotions this month.  In fact, I fed them way too much.  All the monsters were very hungry!

With my emotions in a delicate condition, this situation of no running water for yet another month had me to the point of wanting to scream at the top of my lungs without ceasing.  How awful to have to live this way with no end in sight.  This too shall pass . . .

The monsters from my childhood also stay at the edge of the closet, coming out to haunt and torment me randomly.  Although the emotions seem trivial and silly to others, they are very real to me.  They came at me fiercely around Christmas.

Although many of us try to sweep the monsters back in the closet, we all have them and must deal with them as they show themselves.  Mine always come out with a vengeance around the holidays.  Maybe I don't deal with them enough during the year.

Of course it was not all bad.  The Captain and I had some very joyous times. We treated ourselves to a few culinary toys that we are thoroughly enjoying. Christmas Eve was spent at my cousin's house for the annual pig roast.  We arrived early to experience the process of roasting a pig.  It made me very happy to spend quality time with my aunt, uncle and cousins.  The simple things in life are so special and these are the things I will remember when I think of this holiday season.

Hopefully the monsters will go back to hide in the closet as the ball drops on New Years Eve, marking the end of the holidays and the dreaded season. Having said all that I've said, they are way more joyous since I met The Captain.  He's my hero and gift from God . . . the light at the end of the dark closet.

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The State of Bliss

Bliss is a stage which is above any emotional state that is characterized as extreme peace or happiness with feelings of enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction above all other feelings.

Bernadette Roberts addresses the question of states of bliss and oneness in her book "The Experience of No Self."  Her belief is the higher state of bliss comes and goes, but once bliss is attained, one gets used to it and it is no longer experience as a "high" . . . and becomes the norm.

I tend to disagree with Bernadette Roberts.  How can bliss come and go, yet become the norm?  Would it be the same as attaining our ultimate goal and deem ourselves so successful that we can't achieve more success?

Of course, something that is attained for any period of time can become the norm, positive or negative, bliss or emotional pain.  But how does one know it is the "ultimate" and the emotional condition can go no higher?  My belief is that ultimate bliss is never achieved . . . it can always go higher yet bringing us the sensation of personal satisfaction.

There are the states of bliss and individual opinions of what bliss actually is.

A quote by John Keats states a soft kiss is bliss . . .  "Now a soft kiss - Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss."

I guess one could interpret a soft kiss as endless bliss, depending on the individuals and their place in a relationship, yet for another it is just a state of being.

For J.K. Rowling, it is "The idea of just wandering off to a cafe with a notebook and writing and seeing where that takes me for awhile is just bliss."  It is not the interaction with another person, but the state of being with one's self.

Ask 10 people what does bliss mean to them and you will no doubt get ten interpretations, just as if you asked 10 people what is happiness or any other emotion or state of being.

It is just one of those states of being that you know if you have experienced it and if you haven't, you long for it.  If you are in the state of bliss, you want to stay there forever.

For me, true love is bliss.

What does "bliss" mean to you?

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Unrealistic Expectations

Most women are guilty of unrealistic expectations when looking for love and forever . . . aren't we?

Although we know for a fact that Prince Charming does not exist, we still search for him. If the expectation is to find a man who has the traits we most look for in a man, good looks, humorous, stable, patient, trusting and loyal (I know I am leaving out many more), we may as well be looking for that magic carpet that will take us off into the sunset.

Men are equally guilty of unrealistic expectations when searching for their perfect woman . . . you know you are guys!

We are human . . . we want it all when it comes to most everything, but especially when looking for love.  None of us want to settle for imperfections in another person, although we are not perfect ourselves.

Any type of relationship takes time and patience.  However, when high expectations of fantasy collide with reality, we are setting ourselves up for a long period of time trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, losing patience that will ultimately result in failure.

No matter where you are in your relationship, the most important thing to learn is how to reasonably compromise.  Equally as important is being realistic about the type of person you want when searching for your forever soulmate . . . he or she is worth it.

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Fear

Today I am fearful and I'm not sure of what . . . just fearful.

My emotional balance is off and harmony is not flowing in the least bit.

The holidays take my emotions as hostage and I let it take me time and time again.  I'm back on the merry-go-round that I don't know how to get off of.

I'm living proof of "The only thing to fear is fear itself" . . . thank you Franklin D. Roosevelt!

Many other quotes say it all about being scared, fearful and afraid much better than I . . . my thoughts are cloudy, but I needed to write . . .

So often, when you start hearing about deliberate creation or when you've been reared in a world of dos and don'ts, you're guarded and tentative, you're afraid you're going to make a mistake, you're afraid you're going to cross a line that you can't step back from, and we say, that cannot happen. Boldly flow, and you can tell by the way you feel whether you're flowing in harmony or not, you see. (Abraham through Esther Hicks) - abraham-hicks.com

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” (Helen Keller)

When we have the courage to speak our minds and use our voice to send the desires of our hearts from our inner world to the world outside, we take a bold step in making them happen. (Author Unknown)

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. (Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1882-1945)

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. (Robert F. Kennedy)

Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation. (Author Unknown)

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there. (Marcus Antoninus)

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. (Gandhi)

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. (Dale Carnegie)

It is not death that man should fear, but he should never fear beginning to live. (Marcus Aurelius)

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