Monday, April 28, 2014

There is nothing love cannot face

~ Find A Way | Amy Grant ~

There is nothing love cannot face; 
there is no limit to its faith, 
its hope, and its endurance.

St. Paul
I Corinthians 13:7

Those are some of the most beautiful words ever written
 from my favorite part of the bible. I don't read it often enough!

Have you ever lived these words?

Think about it . . . you know you have!

Have you ever loved another person so much that your love's endurance outlived the problems that persisted with lots of faith and hope to keep you going?

I often wonder why people stay in relationships that did not make them happy.  Perhaps living without that person they loved so much would be impossible.  Many move on to get past the little irritations that make them unhappy and end up with the greatest relationship they could ever dream of.

How about the single mom with the impossible child as she struggles with survival in this crazy world, all by herself?  That would take lots of hope and faith!

There are so many instances I could go on and on about that this quote from the greatest book ever written can be applied to.  Such simple words with so much meaning!

It all starts and ends with love.

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Friday, April 25, 2014

Why Not Now?

~ One Step At A Time | Jordin Sparks ~

We can procrastinate for an endless list of excuses, but why not empower ourselves to change our lives for the better now.  It doesn't matter what it is! I've written about procrastination before . . . it is like a ball and chain to hold you back from doing anything and putting it off until "tomorrow" . . .

The Captain and I spoke of goals yesterday and how they are small steps, one at a time toward the goal that in itself can be overwhelming.

"If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us."

So . . . why not now?

The perceived notion of there being plenty of time for "whatever" can be deceiving since we are not promised tomorrow.

We decided that by simply moving stuff around in one room will add so much dimension to the activities we have been limited to.  Bringing functionality back to my craft desk that overlooks the garden will allow me to get back into designing jewelry that my hands have been itching to do and give myself a place of serenity where my creativity can go where it wants to go.  

That in itself is mentally healthy. Suppressing creativity and merely writing about it has not worked for me.  I want to write about projects that I am working on, not necessarily what someone else is working on, although I have been using it as motivation and inspiration to get it going again.

So . . . having said all that, I will attempt to demagnify my rear end away from the chair that sits in front of the computer . . . right now!

Quotes from Daily Om . . . this post inspired by an article entitled "Waiting for Someday" 

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Love will change us forever . . .

Another post that I'm transferring from an old blog that reminds me that some things don't change . . . and the lyrics of the featured song are so ironic as I was thinking about how love has changed my life once again . . . and how some things haven't changed.  A song can mean different things at different times of our lives.

~ Intervention | Madonna ~

Love will and does change us forever . . . 
over and over again . . . 
good and bad.

Originally posted on 
March 4, 2007

How many of us have experienced something in our lives, good or bad, that changes us forever?

The past couple of days I have focused on becoming a widow/widower. These lyrics that follow have rung in my ears since I first heard the song this morning and has stuck with me until now. Those few lines describe the past five years of my life. I only wish it was just a dream . . . or nightmare in my case.

Anyway . . . I had to stop what I was doing and write this blog post. My inner sign that it is time for life's reflections . . . "therapy" time . . . and a visit with my Bloggerville buddies. One thing I have fondly realized is the difference the love and support I have received from my online friends has changed me forever. No longer do I feel alone in my struggle to move on and deal with the abrupt changes in my life . . . angels surround me.

I found these lyrics in the song
very profound today . . .

"In the blink of an eye everything could change
Say hello to your life, now you're living
This is it from now on
It's a brand new day
It was time to wake up from this dream

I know the road looks lonely
But thats just satan's game
And either way my baby
You'll never be the same"

Fate chooses whether these changes are happiness, drama or tragedy. We are somewhat responsible as we contribute to our fate . . . we don't walk out in front of a fast moving train unless we want to die . . . but ultimately, fate's changes are like a game of russian roulette.

Being an extremely spiritual person, I am ashamed to admit that I constantly ask "why me" . . . and go through the phase of being so angry at God that it is difficult to pray and be thankful for anything. That attitude doesn't help anyone and finally I am breaking through this "pity" phase. It is emotionally unhealthy and extremely unproductive.

It does not matter "why me" . . . it is what it is . . . "this is it from now on" . . . and I have had to deal with it.

Being angry at God will not bring my husband back.

It is not a soap opera . . . it is real life, as much as it sometimes sucks.

What I ultimately decided what to do with the tragic changes in my life is be grateful for what I do have, cherish the beautiful memories of the most wonderful marriage and unconditional love anyone could ever experience . . . for 22 years . . . and use those beautiful memories and lessons learned to create another beautiful time in my life.

Nothing will ever be the same again,
but I now see it as an exciting chapter
in my life that is yet to be written . . .

Back to present day . . .

And so I played Satan's game, walking that lonely road that led me to love again and once again love has changed me forever in a different way.  One of the ironies of life . . . there is really nothing to fear . . . it is our destiny either way.

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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Front Row Seat Relationships

~ Single Pigeon | Paul McCartney ~

"Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. 
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. 

Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? 

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life."

Author Unknown

My life has been blessed and cursed with various friendships and acquaintances through the years.

Some can't even be categorized as a relationship . . . they were acquaintances that were evil and vicious, harsh lessons in life that are unfortunately necessary.  One in particular was a family member.

Many of you will wonder why I feel those relationships were necessary.  For one thing, I think these relationships make us stronger and help us recognize what is good vs evil in our relationships, even at an early age.

Those who were evil and vicious to me confused me in my younger days, wondering what I did to make them act toward me in that manner.  There were times I blamed myself for doing "something" I didn't understand.  As a result, it is my belief I became a better person for it . . . a kinder person who didn't want to make someone else feel that awful feeling I experienced.

My nature was way too trusting, even as I grew into early adulthood, when I was handed the most vicious acts of evil from those I grew to trust the most.  I was crushed.  The result was trust issues in future relationships.

That is how we form the way we react to people in general, by life experience.  Unfortunately for me, it left me with a strong distrust for my fellow human beings, no matter what my intuition told me.  For various reasons, to this day, I still don't trust my intuition completely.

My close and trusted friendships are few, but strong and very special.  I'm sorry to say that most of my truest and trusted friends have passed away recently.

I've learned to leave new friendships at arm's length and slowly work my way into strengthening the relationship.  I quickly recognize the ones that will be a draining experience, negative or downright incompatible.  As harsh as it may sound, they are discarded from my life like the morning trash.

I no longer work in my former profession that I loved and cherished so much  because of office politics . . . I just can't handle it, although some of my best friends were once co-workers.

The ones that grow into close and trusted friendships are cherished like the jewels they are.  They are my front row seat relationships, of which I include many family members, but not all.  

Those who have been discarded don't even sit in the balcony . . . my theater does not have a balcony.  There is only room in my theater for my drama.

Life experience has taught me who is worthy and who is not.

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Emotional Boundaries

~ Ventura Highway | America ~

"Creating emotional boundaries increases our sense of safety and allows us to interact with others from a place of inner strength and calm. Our defensiveness usually results from feelings of powerlessness, fear, or intense vulnerability. 

Rather than striking out at perceived threats in an effort to defend ourselves, we can understand that our sense of safety and protection comes from within. As we learn to build up our confidence and inner strength, we develop the ability to detach from negativity and we no longer feel so vulnerable. We then benefit from a sense of safety and inner balance and the ability to handle any situation with a cool, calm, and contained attitude. 

By setting strong emotional boundaries today, you are affirming your ability to take care of yourself in any situation."
Source:  Daily OM

This concept of emotional boundaries peaked my curiosity.

While the concept makes sense, where are the boundaries formed?  It doesn't mention a vacation to get away from it all, or take a day to just stay in bed and not think about anything distressful.

Where is that place of inner strength and calm when we need that emotional boundaries?  The two words denote anything other than strength and calm.  I know these times take me to feelings of powerlessness and fear and the threat of vulnerability surrounds me.  

To say that it resides in the mind is totally unrealistic to me, although I know we can do anything we choose to do.  However, in those emotional times we are referring to, strength is the last thing I can grasp.

I can say from personal experience that being alone in a comfort zone can provide that safe environment. My retreat can be the sanctity of my back yard, which was soothing and beautiful, filled with the sounds of nature.  The squirrels playfully running up and down the trees, the birds singing their beautiful songs, the winds in the trees creating nature's wind chimes to soothe the soul.  The beach can be the perfect comfort zone as long as you can be alone, as a fishing pier can be that perfect place for a man.

The comfort zone can eventually take my mind to that place of solace where the boundary can exist, but I can assure you that, at least for me, it can not just appear in my mind.  I'm not that strong in those times and I have a feeling it is the same for most of us.

The unhealthy thing is to depend on alcohol or a magic pill to create the boundary for us.  My pill doctors would for sure have quite the opposite answer.  But in order to develop the inner strength that is depicted in the post, it must come naturally from within.

I'm sure that it is safe for me to say that everyone has these times.  I don't believe that anyone is perfectly emotionally balanced.  We all have our ways of coping and I believe it is through these "time outs" in our comfort zones that helps us reach that place where the emotional boundary can exist.

What do you think?

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Monday, April 14, 2014

An analysis of "the little white lie"

~ Little Lies | Ari Hest ~

There may be times when our interests conflict with the interests of the individuals in our environment.

We may not at first recognize these instances, but our tendency to give others due consideration will help us identify potentially hurtful choices. 

We need only give a moment's thought to the consequences of our chosen path before proceeding with our plans to know whether we are on the right track. 

Should we discover that the choices we are primed to make are likely to impact others badly, we can take our efforts in a less damaging direction. 

Your thoughtfulness will ensure you do not hurt the people around you today as you will negate conflict before it escalates.

Source: Daily OM

Where does intuition and history fall into the mix?

What if the fork in the road was the wrong one as of the result of "a little white lie"?

What if the facts in the matter are not what you believed them to be?

What if it was mystification to propagate beliefs that are not true, or not the whole truth as in half-truths or omission.  

Sometimes the "little white lies" are not intended to be deceiptful or malicious and in fact, the intentions are actually the best of intentions.

A tiny "white lie" may not be of much significance to one person, while to the other person, it is everything.  It all depends on each of the individual's perspective.

Just some wandering thoughts of a pondering mind . . .

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014


~ Trippin | Toni Braxton ~

Serenity often comes and goes in my life
depending on the effort I put into
welcoming it or pushing it away.
I can't will serenity, but I can 
create an environment where 
it's more likely to blossom

When I found the above excerpt in a post from an old blog, I felt as though they were the exact words that I needed at this exact point in time. 

It has been a very trying time living without running water all these months. Sometimes it gets to me very badly.  Instead of readdressing the nightmare that has been my past week, I'm attempting to put it behind me . . . it is in the past. There is no serenity in going back to something that can't be changed and is so distressful. It is over even though the problem remains, my attitude about it has to be put aside for the sake of serenity.

For me today serenity was going back to bed many times before finally getting up to meet the day. I simply wasn't ready and did not have to get up, so I didn't.  Indulgence in the little things while I can is where it is for me.  Both The Captain and I are battling a stomach virus that has been most uncomfortable.

I'm ready to face a day with peace in my soul again and a purpose to continue searching for my place in this world . . . or at least searching for what will bring me that serenity and joy I need so much in my life.

I'm just a restless spirit wanting to land in a peaceful place.

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Saturday, April 5, 2014

Too Bad

~ Too Bad | Dido ~

My friend Marie on Facebook posted the above graphic that was taken different ways by different people. We all have our perspective on abuse. The topic continued to be on my mind since I have lived it in the past and have so much to say about it.

One thing for sure is that females are not the only victims, although that is usually the general perspective. There are some vicious and sick females out there who feel the need to hurt others in different ways.

Abuse is not confined to physical abuse . . . it goes much deeper than that!

It is human nature for some personality types who have the need to hurt others to make themselves feel better.  

In the case of an abusive lover, as the subject of the featured song, it is the wearing down of another's emotions to the point of the abused person just wanting to run and never go back.  That is, if they are lucky and come to their senses.  Too bad for the bully since they will more likely than not say that they will change . . . they never do.

Many don't get out of the situation with tragic consequences.  Others go on to take the abuse from the bully out of love or perhaps fear, because the hope that the person will change is always there and they more than likely proceed to a life of unhappiness, depression and crying instead of enjoying a happy life with lots of laughter that we all deserve.

Emotional abuse hurts as bad as being struck physically, over and over again. My dad was an abusive dad. He never hit me, but his emotional abuse left me with the scars that are still with me today.  A child knows what it learns from the people they trust the most because they don't know any better.  

Some of us are caught in the crossfire of falling in love with one of these types or having been born into a family with no escape from that type of person. You just learn how to adapt and eventually come out of it feeling this behavior is normal.

Since it was my unfortunate perception this was normal behavior, my first serious relationship was extremely abusive and I am so grateful and blessed to have gotten out of that relationship.  I hate to even think about that time in my life.

The abuser is the lowest form of a human, in my opinion.

To this day, if someone raises their voice to me, I will cry.  It is instinctive. Although in my personal relationships, it sometimes proves to be a problem, and it is very difficult to get past the moment.  The psychological problems, although apparent, are difficult to deal with.

While some people who go through this type of abuse will come out of it rough and tough, ready to fight anyone who is perceived to hurt them, others retreat and just want to turn the other cheek and forget about it.

It affected me a different way.  After being humiliated, degraded, cursed and made to feel like an idiot who could not ever do anything right, I strived to become the best at anything I ever attempted to do, having to excel at everything.  I was fiercely competitive growing up.  Succeeding in school and in the workplace gave me my self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence that could have been stripped from me had my spirit been completely broken.

Relationships are different.  Any similarity to my dad's behavior freaks me out, making it very difficult for me to develop trust in a relationship.

Know the signs as you enter a new relationship . . . run like a bat out of hell if you see the signs of a bully that will suck the life out of you.

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Friday, April 4, 2014

Balance of life

~ Lost Inside of You | Barbra Streisand with Kris K. ~

Of any stopping place in life, it is good to ask whether it will be a good place from which to go on as well as a good place to remain.
Mary Catherine Bateson

There are times in life when we need to stop and evaluate where we are headed and where we want to go.

Priorities play into the scenario more prominently than anything else.

The balance of life tips the scales back and forth between want and need.  It seems like they never coincide.

Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions of life never really thinking about what you are doing or why you are doing it or if you are even happy doing it?

What if it is an emotion that you need that has escaped you?  It is not a place you can go or a task to finish or embark on.  It just is . . . it lives in the depths of your soul . . . you crave it.  You know what it is, you just don't know how to get there.

Is it a want or a need?  What if it is both?  

Can you set it aside and live without it?

Such is the balance of life.

Do you ever think about it?

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