Frying Pan Moments

Doesn't the image and
 the phrase itself conjure up
 all kinds of thoughts in your head?

We've all had those times when we have had the

 urge to literally whack someone with a frying pan.

One of my new favorite blogs, Friko's World goes into an aspect of "frying pan moments," telling the story of an occasional house guest that does a certain thing that irritates her.

It wasn't really her treasured frying pan that she pampers carefully, never using detergent on it . . . and one of her guests carelessly uses it . . . "isn't it just a frying pan?" is what probably goes through his head.  She found herself fretting over future visits . . . no doubt thinking, "oh the poor frying pan will be defiled!!!"

Her therapist now asks the question, 

"any frying pan moments?" 

during their sessions.

Before I go any further with this post, I want to urge you to treat yourself to Friko's blog . . . she is an AWESOME writer!  Check out her story!

Her "frying pan moment" deals with resentment.

Don't we all have varying types of these moments?

In my comment to her post, I mentioned my "frying pan moments" that have nothing to do with resentment, anger, violence . . . nothing like that . . . it is entirely different.  It inspired me to write this post to delve into the concept of "frying pan moments" . . .

My moments deal with a strange

type of fear . . . and maybe grief?

Regular readers of my blog know that I am a widow who has moved on with another love after many years of being suddenly single.

Those years were spent in my house like a hermit with my stuff.  Much of that stuff never got moved . . . it was to stay as it was when my husband was still here on this earth with me.  It is how I wanted it . . . couldn't even think of getting rid of his clothes . . . taking them out of the drawers and closets into boxes felt like such a betrayal to him.

Even insignificant items that I didn't care about before took on new meaning.  ALMOST EVERYTHING that surrounded me was special stuff, representing my former life that was gone, never to return.  Maybe subconsciously I thought if it wasn't moved, he would miraculously return.  

Who knows what goes through our thoughts or the rationale of it when dealing with sudden death and grief . . . faced with aloneness without your life partner.

Fast forward a few years later . . . an awesome online relationship that started on Twitter turned into something more.  It wasn't until we discussed meeting that I started to worry about all of JR's stuff and my attachment to "the way things were" . . . could I seriously move on with someone else?

It was an issue that I seriously struggled with.

My frying pan moments with The Captain teeter on the edge of hilarious.  Thank God this man has an awesome sense of humor and compassion for the loyalty I hold for my former husband and the "stuff" associated with my former life.

For Friko, it was resentment . . . for me, it was a fear of change, it was a cringing of anything being broken, misplaced . . . you get the idea.  I often wonder about the other perspective of being on the other side of a frying pan moment.

My biggest frying pan moments come with organizing and redecorating the house to reflect our new life together.  

It is sometimes like touching raw nerves . . . the feelings are not angry, resentful or anything like that.  Very strange and abnormal is what they are . . . I must say that I realize it!  It gets easier by the day, although the improvements have taken very small incremental changes.  The Captain is an awesome guy!

On the subject of another type of these moments . . . in my former life when I was an executive assistant, I worked for a married man who was a notorious ladies man.  His wife had what I would call the perfect example of a frying pan moment . . . she would stand away from the front door and whack him over the head when the drunk so-and-so walked in the door after being out cavorting all night long.  

Yes, he was worthy of that treatment, although harsh . . . I often wondered how she managed to not actually kill or seriously hurt him.  You would think he would have learned, but he didn't and continued to get whacked when he misbehaved.  They eventually divorced years later!  Surprise, surprise . . .

How about your "frying pan moments"?

Care to share?