There are times my thoughts go to having one more day with the loved ones who have left my life. It never gets to the point of pondering the question "what would I say" and how would I feel in the end.
Would I go through grief of this person leaving my life again?
Would it bring up more regrets or questions?
One more hug would be awesome, but would it be enough?
Would it make me want more and more, making the grief intensified?
I didn't get to say goodbye to JR, my nana or nano. What would I have said? How do you say goodbye to someone who has been such a big part of your life?
Death and resulting grief has to be the most difficult thing to deal with in life. Everyone has a different way of dealing with it. I write and let my feelings out, it helps me. Some people hold it all inside, like in denial of any hurtful emotions.
The Grief Toolbox, the website, has really been helpful for me. The graphic comes from there and is just an example of how they post those articles, poems and so much more that make me think about something I had not thought about before.
"Ask how you'd live your life differently if you knew you were going to die soon, then ask yourself who those people you admire are and why you admire them, and then ask yourself what was the most fun time in your life.
The answers to these questions, when seen, heard, and felt, provide us with an open doorway into our mission, our destiny, our purpose."
- David Hawkins, from his book Power Vs. Force. Hawkins is an American psychiatrist, mystic, author and spiritual teacher in Sedona, Arizona.
Asking yourself questions are the stepping stones along your journey, one stepping stone at a time, providing assistance for guidance on your path.
When I tell people that I ask myself questions to learn more about myself, I can almost see them scratching their head in disbelief at what they just heard me say. My technique is to ask the question when I'm behind my computer so I can start writing and take my mind where it wants to go.
In times of high anxiety and I don't know why, I'll ask myself what am I bothered about. It usually brings out those little things that have been bothering me, then I can move toward more questions and working on the problem. The unconscious mind holds so much that we often don't think about, but it is in there . . . festering. Better to get it out in the light!
In some cases, it is like venting to another person and letting things out rather than staying inside and festering. It is much better to keep some thoughts to yourself unless you are looking for feedback from the other person. I just want it out of my thoughts, the writing is like a little box I can put it in and place at the top of the closet until I'm ready to take it down and deal with it.
Back in the day, I would write letters to people I was upset with, but didn't want to confront. I always went through with sending the letter, many times regretting it later. Sometimes just writing the letter is enough . . . it gets thoughts and bad feelings out of your system. Bad idea and a cowardly way to deal with people! I'm happy to say that I have moved past this practice by asking myself the questions and writing about it. Write the letter . . . don't send it!
I can really relate to the quote from David Hawkins and love the questions. It got me to thinking about asking more questions along his theme.
Give yourself the power of awareness, knowing and understanding your feelings and emotions as well as those close to you.
