Anxiety and life phases

~ I'm Fine | Heart ~


It has occurred to me today that life is just a cycle of phases, some good, some bad, all contributing to the person we are today.  Of course each time we tend to feel as though we are losing it, like in my featured song by Heart.

Since we are entering Week #4 of no running water, I needed to read old posts and remind myself of where I have been and the anxiety associated with it. I always tell myself "this too shall pass" . . . and it does!

Anxiety comes in different phases, usually dependent on what the current life circumstances are.

I have selected two phases of my life to write about.

The first post found me entering an exciting new chapter in my life after successfully completing training for the job I knew was made for me.  I remember being so happy, although the disappointment of the job as it really was and the attitude of "corporate America" toward its employees ultimately took me through another time of anxiety and the feeling of failure.

The positive aspects of this experience was the feeling of accomplishment for finally getting out of the house, going after that job I wanted so badly and successfully completing some emotionally draining training.  Even though the job didn't work out, no one would have ever suspected I had previously been so apprehensive about leaving my comfort zone and shutting myself out of society for so many years.

Today I am so very grateful that I don't have to face "corporate America" again . . . I can say with certainty that those days are over. 

Notice a theme here?

The last post found me at a time of high anxiety as I had quit smoking and thought I had a grip on it . . . at the same time I decided I no longer needed my anxiety medication and was weaning myself off.  Big mistake!  The attempt of quitting smoking is a high anxiety endeavor anyway . . . not a time to get off of anxiety medication.  My doctor was very angry with me and convinced me to start taking them again.

The lesson I learned is taking medication for a legitimate problem is nothing to be ashamed of.  The shame is to not do anything about a problem that exists.

Many of us are afflicted with high anxiety for whatever reason.  Don't be afraid of medication . . . it is necessary when problems arise so you can deal with them with a clear head and attitude.  Mine has never gone away, I can just deal with it more effectively now.  Life challenges happen and you must be prepared for them.


This post was originally published on March 8, 2008

A new chapter in my life has begun. A time that I thought would never come, although I just took one day at a time and tried to deal with each one as best as I could. Every time I take out my certification for successfully completing training for a job that I set in my mind over two years ago, I am so grateful for the strength that God gave me to make it through those bad times and gave me enough faith in myself to go for it and make it through the training that I almost walked out of several times.

Positive attitude and faith in ourselves and our creator goes a long way and through times we think we can't get through. We can go through life in a bad mood and an awful attitude, resulting in a miserable existence. I've been through all the phases.

It was especially rough when I made the decision that I needed to quit smoking if I was going to join the real world and get a real job since the realization hit me that selling "whatever" on eBay was no longer going to provide the comfortable life that I had grown accustomed to. In retrospect I think it was divine intervention to finally get me out of my house. God works in mysterious ways to teach us lessons and make us stronger.

As I get ready for the new chapter of my life with a new career and the contentment, peace of mind and security I was searching for, I started my one day off with my first cup of coffee reading some of my old posts so I can truly savor this moment and appreciate the emotions of accomplishment.

The following post was written as I was well into my endeavor of quitting smoking . . . the "no smoking weight gain" was starting to creep up on me . . . it was just a bad time that gives me so much appreciation for the changes I have made in my life.

There was always hope for me even though I didn't always think so . . . there is also hope for anyone going through a bad time, no matter what the circumstance . . . with faith and a positive attitude.

This post was originally published on December 11, 2006

Not asking for much . . . not even happiness at the moment since that seems like an impossible dream, just CONTENTMENT and peace of mind would be great.

The past couple of days have been awful . . . I am convinced it is withdrawals from quitting smoking and/or getting off my medication. Feelings of restlessness and anxiety have consumed me and just about everything is making me irritable. The cravings to smoke a cigarette are virtually gone, although they do hit me when I least expect it, but pass quickly.

I had done some research on withdrawal from my medication and the good news is that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as I expected them to be based on my research. I always took way less than prescribed because I hate being dependent on anything and was so scared of becoming addicted to them. Today I am thankful that my withdrawal symptoms are not as bad as they could be even though I am ready to climb the walls from this anxiety.

My state of anxiety is all about my life's general frustrations and irritations.

I'm still dealing with no hot water and having to boil water for everything. The repair people will finally be here tomorrow and hopefully it will be fixed.

The one thing that is really irritating me is the weight that I have gained as a result of not smoking anymore. I am not doing anything different, although I am hungry all the time. The weight gain came fast and has really made me sad since I have worked so hard to take it off. Now I have to work doubly hard to get that under control. I just spent 1/2 hour on the exercise bike to get rid of anxiety and hopefully keep the weight gain from continuing. 

This is the story of my life . . . something positive always brings the negative to bring me down. I can't win!

I'm off to experience the one thing that always makes me happy and content . . . my first cup of coffee for the day. I'll also have to check out my music collection and find some happy music. Those two things will instantly put me in a better state of mind.

This is going to be an awesome week in spite of all of this . . . I'm determined!

read more

Sad season!

Being a news junkie with all the bad news of the world made for a very depressing holiday season.

Each year that passes holds the promise that "this will be the year" that I enjoy the holidays again.  However, the blue funk starts right around Halloween to coincide with Christmas being pushed down our throats earlier every year by the retail trade.  

You can't blame them, they are just trying to survive these weak economic times.

This year's news has been unusually disturbing to me.  Ugly politics, fiscal cliffs, a violent hurricane leaving unimaginable devastation and another sad school shooting has done me in.  But, as I sit at my computer writing this post, the news is on the television!

I was going to write a series of posts about the school shooting, gun control and the sad state of mental health . . . but I've seen too much ugliness at other blogs that I just don't want to deal with, so I have decided against it.  I'm not here to be controversial.  There is enough of that on the news!

Needless to say, I've taken a backward turn to the dark side and further away from peace, love and happiness than I care to be.  

I know I'm not alone with these feelings . . . the holiday season is not a happy one for many in this world . . . and I can't imagine anyone going through the season who have been affected by the tragedies we have heard about on the news!

Having said all that, the emphasis for the new year will once again be on optimism and attitude adjustment. I'm so happy the Christmas holiday is over and the symbolic new beginning of a year is upon us!

read more

Reevaluating the path

Since there are usually many paths to the same goal, we would benefit by engaging in periodic reviews of our plans and goals to determine whether we are still proceeding in the best way to accomplish our objectives. This review might provide an insight or idea that we wouldn’t have considered before, and help us to achieve our goals in less time. Reevaluating the path to your goals today can help direct your motivated attitude in the right direction to achieve success. 

Source:  Daily OM

My apologies for the depressing post the other day . . . but it is how I was feeling at the time and I'm committed to being true to myself.  It also means that I won't delete posts that are dark.  Life itself is the good, the bad and the ugly!

It is ironic that I received my Daily OM Newsletter that discussed reevaluating the path the same day. I've thought about it at great length since.

Like anything in life, if the present approach isn't working, try another one. The business management theory of incremental change is one that advocates continual improvement, constantly changing the process.  It is a mindset that I adopted many years ago, applying it to life circumstances.

If you don't succeed at first, try and try again.  Giving up is failure . . . getting up and starting over again if necessary, is not.

When I go into reevaluation mode, I go back to the beginning, back to my first days of becoming a widow.  I was truly lost and thought I had nowhere to go. The journey I've gone through has taken many forks in the road.  Many wrong turns were made!  However, striving toward continual improvement has made the difference.

I'm a proud survivor!

 

read more

Unresolved issues

My intention was to get back into full swing with blogging again, but I'm still lacking focus and concentration due to all that has gone on with The Captain's surgery, his recovery and life in general.  

Best way I can describe it . . . 

I'm feeling numb.

There are so many unresolved issues buzzing around in my thoughts that I need to sort out and I haven't been able to deal with them.  

Since I quit working, I've not been able to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life professionally.  What would make me happy?  I honestly don't know . . . however, doing nothing has left a void within me that can't be filled by merely being a housewife.  

I'm a doer who hasn't been doing

 and feeling a little lost!

It really isn't about money, except that I have a need to feel like I'm contributing to the household financially.  My dad did a good job drilling the financial contribution thing in my head when I was very young.  He would be disappointed in me . . .

Today would have been my wedding anniversary with JR . . . it is one of those grief trigger days that makes me sad.  It is so ironic to feel this way in the midst of one of my happiest times since The Captain came into my life.  

I'm really happy and other than these emotional issues, my life is as near perfect as I have ever imagined.  

So . . . what's the problem?  

I'm constantly asking myself!

There are so many people out there

 in this world with REAL problems

 and that realization makes

 me feel so guilty!

Needless to say, high anxiety has continued

 to plague me and it feels like depression

 has started to set in again.  

There is a fine line between anxiety and depression . . . sometimes it is difficult to know when one filters into the other.

read more

Finding the key

"So often time it happens,

 we all live our life in chains,

 and we never even know

 we have the key."

The Eagles, lyrics from the song

"Already Gone"

The possibilities are endless when the realization hits that we hold the key to that ball and chain many of us attach ourselves to.  

Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence is an example of what could be seen as a ball and chain.  Some people confuse the ball and chain as depression . . . it is a fine line.

Life circumstances can get someone to that point and play tricks on the mind.  The thought process turns negative and everything looks impossible.  

However, nothing is impossible when we know we have that key.

In the darkest days of my life, learning how to be grateful for the simplest of things helped me realize so much and put everything into perspective.  Gratefulness was my key.

Do you know what yours is?

read more

Embrace Self-Worth and Self-Love

If you have built castles in the air
your work need not be lost.
That is where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.

Henry David Thoreau


One of the ways to love the self more is to stop comparing yourself to others. Although you are part of a whole, you are also an individual self, with your own path. The group and family belief systems you have taken on as your own can be obstacles to your self-love. The challenge of loving the self is to step aside from everything you are told, and ask, "Does this fit me? Does this bring me joy? Do I feel good when I do it?" It is ultimately your own experience that counts.
(Orin & DaBen through Sanaya Roman,
from the book, Living With Joy) 
orindaben.com


"Nobody needs to prove to anybody what they're worthy of, just the person that they look at in the mirror. That's the only person you need to answer to."
Picabo Street


"Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy."
Wayne Dyer



"We long for love, success, abundance and all that is good to come into our life. Yet, many of us feel we are not worthy of such good fortune. It is a great moment when we finally realize we are worthy of all the goodness, all the greatness and all the love that life has to offer. For it is that moment we realize our true nature, our true identity and from that moment forward our lives change. When we know we are worthy of our heart's desire, it shows up effortlessly."

Mastin Kipp

Self-love and self-worth can be tricky, especially when one is afflicted with any degree of depression.  The mind can play tricks on thoughts and perceptions that may lead to feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred.  It just happens!

Even though I had the emotional tools to deal with feelings of failure at various stages of my life, my conscious mind didn't want to deal with it.  Isn't it easier to just give in and let yourself dig the hole deeper and deeper into the danger zone?  How well I know . . .

I think of the millions of people who are currently unemployed in poor economic times, having to compete with those who are over-qualified for the same positions . . . those who are willing to take the position just to survive.  I've been there too . . . the subconscious feeling of self-worth and and the survival mode is what got me back on my feet and back to the reality of having to compete for a job.  It is a mind game.

It is my belief that anyone can do anything they set their mind to when self-worth, confidence and a strong sense of survival is present.  What a freeing experience it was for me to finally realize that I am an asset in the workplace.  At that point, it was easy to present myself as such to a potential employer.

Finding real love again happened for me the same way.


Self-love and self-worth are
important ingredients in this
 world of survival of the fittest.

Refuse to be a victim!

read more

The Journey Within

Soul is present behind every manifestation
 and every experience, awaiting our response.

Reflection

It is primarily through our resistances, difficulties, challenges, problems, illnesses, etc. that we eventually begin to discover what they are for and why they exist. 

Delving deeply enough into the energy behind them leads us to sufficiently overcome some ignorance, selfishness and inertia that we get glimpses of the beautiful soul energy causing them. 

Taking this journey to our essence and to our purpose eventually shifts our conscious identity to the soul that we are. 

Look behind the appearance of something in your life that you have not welcomed or understood and discover more deeply who you really are.

Source: The Soul Journey

Although the journey within is never over, I have reached that place in my life where the fork in the road took me on a new adventure when The Captain entered my life several years ago.  By all means, it has not been a smooth ride. Learning to share your life with another person all over again after being alone for so many years is not easy.

As The Captain and I approach the new journey into marriage, there have been many things going through my thoughts this past week.  Needless to say, I am most grateful for having this wonderful man in my life.

The most dominant thoughts have involved my journey since JR died . . . losing a spouse unexpectedly takes you through unknown territory that is mainly terrorizing.  I was forced to take that long and unhappy journey within whether I was ready to or not, but it was survival.  Are we ever ready for life's challenges and sorrows?

There were times I had to reach deep down inside to find a reason to live . . . my life as I knew it was gone and I was not happy about it . . . my life with JR was happy and content.  I was lost without him and had no direction.  

At times I went into severe panic attacks that would disable me mentally as well as physically.  Grief will do that too . . . but I had to worry about surviving alone while battling the severe depression that had taken a firm grip of me.

So began my journey within . . . it took me way too many years to get to know who I am and what I want from life.  The one thing that has effectively brought me through this journey is blogging and journal honestly about it.  It took one day at a time, sometimes moments at a time . . . asking myself a question at a time, just like a therapist would do.

There were times of pity parties and asking God "why me?" . . . but now I know why I needed that treacherous journey . . . it was necessary to find myself. Otherwise, I would have ended up taking bottles of pills to sleep forever and be done with what felt like a tortured life. Believe me, my thoughts of suicide took on a status of a beautiful fantasy . . . but I was strong enough to not do that to my mom. 

I could not find joy until I finally found myself.

The Captain entered my life at a time when I had already experienced picking myself up and doing what had to be done . . . actually starting to find joy in my life . . . only to fall down and start over again more times than I care to mention.  I was not worthy before that time.

Unless you have been through a treacherous journey, there is no way anyone can relate to the elation of seeing that light peaking through the end of the darkest tunnel you can imagine.  The one thing that kept me going is knowing that the light was there, somewhere, I just had to be patient to find it again.  I clung to my faith in God, often praying and begging to see that light again.  It was shown to me at the time I was ready to see it, not a minute before.  It is the way we learn our life lessons . . . the hard way.

Although I am not yet at my peak of strength, I know that I can get through just about anything.  What I found is a strength within me that for a while was hidden, but there throughout the journey.

One important thing that I learned is bad things happen which can lead to greater joy.  Many of the falls I took involved jobs that were not meant for me and ended up making me feel like a failure . . . even though it was not me who was the failure, but the system itself.  It was not meant to be, but I had to go there . . . it was a part of my journey.

One door closes, another opens . . . you just have to have the courage to walk through the open doors of the unknown.

Peace, love and much happiness to all . . .

read more

Simple Contentment

Since taking my mental health days a week or so ago and making the decision to stop procrastinating and get those things done that need to be done, I've been making small changes that are starting to make a difference.

One of the things I've done really good with is doing small tasks at a time and then doing something that I really enjoy . . . constantly alternating.  The result is I'm getting things done and also taking it easy in small increments so I feel the same affects of mental health days in small doses.  It works for me . . . the secret is SMALL INCREMENTS . . . maybe 15 minutes at a time.  Next on the agenda is to buy a kitchen timer so I don't get carried away.

It is still difficult for me to see what I've accomplished versus what hasn't been done, but I am making a conscious effort.  The positive mindset is difficult for me in this area!

The mindset that has really worked for me is that of being grateful for simple things which has provided me with a very content life.  It has to do with finding simple joy in sitting outdoors listening to the wonderful sounds of nature and having Willie the Wonder Cat pass by, brushing against my leg as he goes by, wanting attention and love.  Nothing spectacular, I know, but these are the little things and moments in time that put a smile on my face.  Finding pleasure and awareness of the simple moments in time has been one of the most important revelations of my life.

The need to slow down mindset has also worked for me.  There are times when I try to do more projects than I can possibly do at one time.  I set myself up for failure!  Setting priorities is a much better way to handle those times.  I can be aware of those projects, but also know their priority in the scheme of everything else.  This mindset has also brought me to the point of reality . . . the result was to weed out those low priority things that wasted too much of my time.

Another mindset that changed my life a long time ago is simply embracing where I am in life.  What I mean by that is this . . . I don't care about what anyone else has that I don't have . . . I am happy with what I have been blessed with.  There is such a stigma in today's society to want what someone else has . . . the bigger house, the newer car, blah blah blah.  That mindset is such a waste of emotions!

In my life I have had times of depression, happiness, contentment, successful career, failures, near poverty and an abundance of money and stuff . . . so many life experiences.  All in all, my happiest times have been when I am content with who I am and what I have in life.  Ironically, they came during poor financial times.  

After spending way too much time chasing and achieving wealth and success, I realized those things are superficial and don't bring happiness.  I'd rather be poor with enough to contently survive and achieving happiness . . . with peace of mind and an awesome quality of life.

read more

The little things in life

It was one of those bad life phases where I found myself in and out of depression . . . a streak of bad luck made it difficult to be optimistic about anything, but I always had the faith that if I took one day at a time, being grateful for finding joy in little things that mean a lot, everything would be fine.
Today I'm looking back and realizing that those simple joys in life kept me going from one day to the next . . . and they were big things to me.
A big thing for me is happy music, especially when I'm down.
There are times in life when something to smile about is a big deal.

This post was originally published

July 2008 on one of my older

 blogs that is no longer online

Today I am feeling overwhelming gratefulness for little things in the form of stuff you buy at the grocery store. I know . . . I'm gonna have to explain this one :)

I finally got out yesterday to do my grocery shopping. It had gotten to the point of bare pantry shelves and refrigerator.  When I got down to my last two eggs, I knew it was time to get out of this house out of necessity.

When the waves of depression hit me last week, the usual comfort of food wasn't there . . . I didn't even want to eat. The only thing I really missed was Pepsi . . . I'm totally addicted to Pepsi. It was one of those times where I was hungry for something, but I had no idea what it was and didn't have the energy or desire to try to figure it out. Therefore, no incentive to get out of this house.

Don't laugh, but I did satisfy my craving for Pepsi over the weekend . . . I ordered Pizza Hut delivery just to have a Pepsi delivered to me . . . hmmmmm $20.00 for a pizza I really didn't want and my beloved Pepsi :) In retrospect, I should have ordered the chocolate dunkers instead of the pizza!

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I thought of was Pepsi. I could not get to the kitchen fast enough to get my first fix of the day . . . and for some reason, it tasted better than a Pepsi has ever tasted for me.

As I enjoyed my first drink of the day, it brought a smile to my face to realize that I am so grateful that I went to the store yesterday for one of those little things in life . . . or maybe a not so little thing depending on how you look at it . . . enjoying a Pepsi is one of those big things in my life.

So was the apple turnover I had this morning and the chocolate caramel pecan ice cream I had last night . . . my appetite is back and all the goodies I brought home from the grocery store are calling me this morning.  Thank God I'm no longer depressed . . . something else to be most grateful for :)

Get off your diet and eat or drink something that you are not supposed to . . . it will put a smile on your face . . . have a beautiful day enjoying all the little things that you love :)  Sometimes you just need to indulge yourself!

read more

Putting perfectionism into perspective

Through the years, I've been able to shed some of the stereotypical traits of a perfectionist, but it has been a long journey that took me through bouts of depression.

What I am about to say is going to come off sounding awful, but it is honest.  I could care less what others think of me.  My perfectionist tendencies prove something to myself, not others.

That root cause stems from my rebellious young adult years trying to prove my dad wrong.  I’ve written about this before.  He demanded perfection and every time I’d get close to what I perceived as his “perfection,” he would raise the bar.

In the beginning it was about my dad’s approval and acceptance, but once I realized it just wasn’t ever going to happen, my rebellious side just wanted to prove him wrong.  It was validation to myself that I wasn’t the piece of crap he made me out to be.

Perfectionism is a perceived state of mind.  First of all, no one is perfect.  Who is to say what perfection is?  One person’s perfection is another’s failure.  It is dependent on who is judging the “perfection” . . . and who makes them the judge?

Learn the difference between perfectionism and striving to do your best. 

I don’t know if this is going to make sense to anyone but me, but being a creative and rebellious person keeps me from being a straight up perfectionist.  A perfectionist would not attempt to create for fear that their creation would totally suck.  The creative person absolutely has to create since they must see their vision in reality.

Many years ago I realized that I was still trying to gain my dad’s approval . . . and he had passed away years before the realization.  It was the one breakthrough that has helped me slowly make improvements to a healthier state of mind.  I never was a perfectionist to begin with . . . I just thought I was.  That state of mind tormented me which lead to severe depression.

These days I strive to do my best . . . it is all I can do.  The most important thing to remember is to put perfectionism into perspective!

read more

Emotional Responses

Our emotions can lead to discovery of issues within ourselves that we may not be willing to face.  However, sweeping bad feelings "under the rug" and ignoring them will not make it better.  Quite the contrary, since they can grow and fester with disastrous consequences.

Bad situations can be opportunities to improve our relationships and learn how to handle our emotions more effectively.

By developing the process of exploring our reactions and emotions when we are upset by the words or actions of others, it becomes possible to develop a greater sense of security.  Understanding emotions makes it easier to deal with fears, bothersome issues and circumstances we encounter.

The result is healthier relationships with greater harmony.  

Being in touch with our emotions can also 

avoid a downward spiral into depression.

Live your life with greater harmony . . . 

explore your emotional responses honestly.

read more

Conscious direction into this moment

"Today, be aware of the power of your mind. Give it your focus and consciously direct it. It will run away on its own, of course, but your goal is simply to redirect it back to the ways you wish to think and be… Today, your goal is to pull yourself back into now, over and over, whenever you find your mind drifting to thoughts of the past or worries or daydreams of the future; come back into now, this very moment, and once here, focus on the most important things that you need to accomplish, do and be right now… Every moment of every day, bring yourself back into now, erase any feelings of victimization, fear or doubt, and come into a peaceful center, a place where you can fully shine and be. And in this place, consciously choose how to act." (Quado through Carrie Hart)

Maybe it is the heat of the humid Florida weather or it could be the calm after the storm of life circumstances that have come at me like a fast moving freight train.  I have run out of energy, my concentration levels and focus is all but gone and I just crave rest and relaxation.  Throw in a little anxiety and depression I'm attributing to guilt for all those things needing to be done that I have not been doing.  I'm straight up tired and absolutely cannot motivate myself to do anything!

We all have those times, don't we?

As I was cleaning out my email box today, I came across my featured quote for the day.  It got me thinking about what I need to accomplish at this very moment.  The conclusion I came to as I let my mind drift . . . I need to chill out . . . just flat out DO NOTHING, relax and let my mind continue to drift to those peaceful places it wants to go.

Honestly, our minds and bodies tell us what we need when we need it . . . we just have to listen.  Sometimes it is necessary to DO NOTHING, chill out and just be.  In my working days, they were called "mental health days" when I would call in sick and stay in bed all day.  It is like giving yourself a little vacation from everything that is bothering you.  

All of life's pesky little things will still be there waiting for you when you get back.  The difference is that you can deal with those things more effectively with a rested mind and body.

Go ahead . . . do nothing!

read more

Happiness Never Forgets You

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, 

never completely forget about it. 

Jacques Prévert 

A new blogging friend's post made me think about those times of grief, depression, anxiety and restlessness from way too many deaths of family and friends in a short period of time.  They were awful times when happiness was a distant memory, but something that was craved and prayed for. Life happens . . . we will all have to deal with grief at times in our lives. 

The focus of today's post is grief and the happiness and peace of mind it takes, sapping the energy out like the blood has been drained out of your body.  We all deal with it differently, but it sure can knock the wind out of even the strongest person.

This year will mark the ninth year of suddenly becoming a widow and I can say that I have finally moved on with my life and have found the happiness I was searching for.  I've learned how to be grateful for the beautiful life we shared, but it is not always easy.  Even now, so many years later, I experience those sad days when I miss the awesome friendship we shared.  

The usual trigger days are rough, like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays . . . the sadness of the loss creeps in, but as time goes on, happiness of my present life has shortened the sad time.  However, time does not heal, it merely allows us to cope more effectively.  At least that has been my experience.

The depression and anxiety that grief triggers is unlike anything else and so difficult to explain.  Unless you have gone through it, there is no way to understand the hell that the survivor feels trapped in.  Back in the day, I lost many friends who didn't care enough to understand what I was going through.  It felt as though I was a echo in a canyon . . . absolutely lost, not knowing where to turn . . . with a handful of friends and family who really understood.  

Depression itself holds a certain societal stigma, with outsiders thinking that the person going through it should "just get over it" . . . making the depressed person feel like even less of a person, like a freak of nature, not worthy of happiness and peace of mind.  It is a vicious cycle.  If you are one of those people . . . do the depressed person a favor . . . just don't say anything if you can't be a truly supportive, positive influence on them.  My grandmother had a saying about these type of people . . . they will kick a dead dog when he's down.

Based on my experience, there are a few things I'd like to add . . . get professional help if you are willing to accept the help.  It may sound crude, but rid yourself of those negative people who lack compassion for your situation in life . . . they will only make you feel like a freak . . . and you are not a freak, you are simply a human being going through a rough time in your life, having a difficult time coping.  

Love yourself . . . is so important to know that you are worthy of happiness again . . . give yourself permission to understand what is going on deep inside and analyze how to get yourself out of it.  Figure out what it is that will make you truly happy.  Journaling and writing about it helped me tremendously . . . I learned the questions to ask myself from my therapist, who essentially saved my life.

Having gone through all the stages and phases of grief, depression, anxiety, restlessness, anger and a judgmental society, I can honestly say that you can get through it and find happiness again.  It is attainable . . . really it is.  

Happiness may elude you for a season of time . . . but never lose hope that it will never return, it does.

read more