Quality of Life and the Adventurous Attitude

What is adventure?  

Adventure could be defined as an activity that involves the possibility of risk, danger or exciting experiences. For one person, it could mean jumping off a bridge attached to a bungee cord, feeling the rush of rising and falling as the bungee cord does its thing.  Yet another could perceive adventure as a serene day at the beach.


Adventure could simply be seen as an attitude . . . a journey towards finding our unique potential . . . sometimes hidden by fear and worry.  It is how we approach the day-to-day obstacles of life, how we perceive and act on them that determines the level of adventure and quality of life.


Attitude adjustments that involve backing away from fear of the unknown and embracing the new challenges as an exciting adventure allows us to seize those new opportunities that present themselves with a positive mindset.  


Embracing adventure is acknowledging faith . . . a testing that faces the unknown without fear.  Stretching past the comfort zone allows us to find that unique potential within ourselves.


The adventurous attitude perceives everything in a positive light . . . life is awesome until it isn't . . . then you confront, face and solve the problem.  Until then, it isn't a problem . . . so why worry about the thing unless it has happened.


Speaking from experience, fear and worry is an obstacle from living life to its full potential . . . isn't life without adventure merely waiting to die?  


Readers of my blogs will understand what I am saying . . . since becoming a widow, my life was one of waiting to die, locking myself away from the world . . . get it over with, I didn't even want to try to be adventurous since I may get hurt in one way or another.  Warped thinking plays into the scenario . . .


Of course depression plays a huge role in attitude . . . but you can deal with it, fight it . . . turn it around no matter how many times you have to get back up when you fall down . . . find adventure in life again.  I did . . . although I still have to deal with the fears, some days better than others.


Love this quote . . .

"Most of the important things in the world 

have been accomplished by people who have 

kept on trying when there seemed to be 

no hope at all."  

Herbert Myer

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Wants, needs and a little faith

In the midst of rough financial times, there is always that little something we want, but don't necessarily need . . . a little treat, a reward for surviving the struggle.

The following article comes from the Guideposts newsletter, which always provides me with a wealth of inspiration along with renewed faith and hope, like a reminder that God never gives us more than we can handle . . . and even the lesson of patience.

I couldn’t afford to buy a little gift for myself. 

But I could dream, couldn't I?

By Vickie Apicella, Port Orange, Florida

I stared longingly at the pair of brown clogs on the department store display rack. They seemed to be calling out my name. I tried to remind myself that I was only here today to buy my mother a special birthday gift. I couldn’t afford anything more. But now, these seemingly perfect brown flats were breaking down my resolve.


I guess you could say I’m a bit of a shop-a-holic, but I hadn’t been able to shop much lately. I’m a teacher, and in this economy, I hadn’t found a summer job. Over the past few months, my already meager savings had dwindled. It was only thanks to my generous parents that I could pay my bills.


Now, with a few weeks of paychecks in the bank and Mom’s birthday coming up, I wanted to show my mom how much I appreciated her help. I’d found a beautiful black sweater that I knew Mom would love and was all set to leave. Then the brown clogs caught my eye. They had a woven pattern on top and I already could picture all the outfits they’d go with.


I had to have them. I tucked the shoes under my arm and made my way towards the cash register. But a guilty feeling washed over me. “God,” I prayed, “I don’t really need these shoes, and I can’t afford to spend the extra money. I can make do with all you have given me.” Sadly, I returned the shoes to their place on the rack, paid for my mother’s present and left.


The next day, I stopped by my friend Terri’s house after work. Just before I was about to say goodbye, Terri stopped me. “I almost forgot,” she said. “I’ve got a box of old stuff I was going to give to a consignment shop, but if there’s anything you’re interested in, you’re more than welcome to help yourself.”


After yesterday’s shopping, I was in no mood to go looking through old clothes. Some consolation prize they would be, I thought. But I took a peek.


There, on top of the pile, was a pair of brand new looking brown clogs, with a woven pattern on top, just like the ones I’d turned down. “They’re too small on me,” Terri said.


I tried them on. Wouldn’t you know it? A perfect fit.


Read more Mysterious Ways stories
from Guideposts

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Faith and the darkness of the unknown

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know

and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown.

Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen.

There will be solid ground to stand on or

you will be taught to fly."

Author unknown

Life and society as we know it has been changing and in transition . . . the economy, the political scene and unemployment that has run out of control.  Each decision we make is just a part of the cycle of cause and effect, approaching the decision-making process having the faith and knowledge that there are always possibilities and choices available empowers the process of exploring what is most beneficial for each of us as individuals.  

The optimum word is faith.

In the darkness of the unknown, there is one thing that remains constant . . . if we are not happy with present life circumstances and the choices made, we have the power to make different choices.  There are always choices . . . take the time to consider those options and ponder the possible outcomes with heightened awareness rather than make rash decisions based on emotion.

Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, 

then counting your blessings before they hatch.

  ~Ramona C. Carroll

Faith has never let me down . . . fears do.

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A time of change

Life as we know has always been changing and evolving from the beginning of time.

However, a time of serious change has descended upon the earth on many fronts in recent past. Societal changes are swiftly moving in many directions.

Change is ever present . . . you can see it in world events . . . you can see it looking out beyond the walls that shelter you in your own communities.

At the time of growing up, I don't recall people running around with guns randomly shooting people and turning the gun on themselves. That is sheer lunacy . . . however, I still respect the right to bear arms. It has become a time when not bearing arms for your own protection is lunacy.  Are we headed back to the days of the wild west?  Will gun holsters become a new fashion statement?

On the economic front, local businesses are failing, unemployment running rampant . . . once thriving malls are like ghost towns, little mom and pop businesses have been closing their doors at a rapid pace . . . they just can't make it, leaving a greater gap for employment opportunities. Society in general are just scared to let go of the money they do have, putting the dreams of small-time entrepreneurs nearly out of reach.

The times we are living in are becoming more disturbing by the day. Stay informed, educate yourself on what is going on . . . don't just listen to the sound bites on the news, dig into the facts for yourself, keep an open mind and think for yourself . . . don't let others do the thinking for you. It is especially crucial on the political front . . . know who you are voting for and what they stand for.

These are the tests of time where the strong will survive. If you fall down, get up  and start over again. Keep the hope and faith with the knowledge that there is always someone who is not as fortunate as yourself for whatever reason. It is a difficult time to be optimistic, but it has become a necessity to know that "this too will pass" . . .

Living the lifestyle of simple abundance . . . being grateful for the little things that God has blessed me with and really striving toward a life filled with peace, love and happiness . . . that is what keeps me strong and grounded.

There is a quote on the sidebar of

my blog that is my philosophy of life 

"You have succeeded in life when 

all you really want is only what you really need."

Vernon Howard

What do I really need?

Peace, love and happiness 

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Faith and challenging times

Coping with bad times, whether it be challenges in the workplace, a personal relationship or financial difficulties requires faith to get through it. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in other people . . . it is so important to keep your head straight in order to make rational decisions.
Some decisions take greater leaps of faith than others.
We only have one life . . . live it with faith and optimism that what will be, will be . . . que sera sera. No matter what your spiritual belief is, there is a higher power in control. My belief is that everything in life happens for a reason.
The following poem, Footprints in the Sand, is one of my favorite sagas when reaching deep within myself for the strength and faith needed in times of uncertainty.

One night I dreamed I was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that
during the low periods of my life, when I was
suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most
trying periods of my life there have only been
one set of footprints in the sand.

"Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Love this one . . . it is for the one who
has put footprints on my heart!

"Be the kind of person you would like to be with.
Some people come into our lives,
make footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."

- Joseph F. Newton

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Be yourself

"Always be yourself, express yourself, have
faith in yourself, do not go out and look for
a successful personality and duplicate it."

Bruce Lee



What a beautiful quote!

How many of us follow the trends and look just like any other person in the way we dress and express ourselves?  

The key word in the sentence is "follow" . . . are you a leader or a follower?

Why not set your own trend instead of duplicating another one?

Be yourself, be unique and different!

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The Gift of Faith

Since trust is a vital component in the formation of relationships, putting your faith in others is necessary when connecting with people on a personal or professional level. It’s easy to justify defensiveness when we look out into the world and see only potential enemies. However, mistrust can drive a wedge between you and others before you even have a chance to bond, thus making bonding impossible. When you approach people openly, assuming that they, like you, have good intentions, intimacy and respect are nourished by your trust. You will discover that others live up to your expectations by treating the faith you have in them as the gift that it is. When you trust that others will not try to deceive you today, you will begin to relate to people in a more productive way.

Source: The Daily Om

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Shine Sweet Freedom

"No more runnin' down the wrong road

Dancin' to a diff'rent drum

Can't you see what's goin' on

Deep inside your heart

Always searchin' for the real thing

Livin' like it's far away

Just leave all the madness in yesterday

You're holdin' the key

When you believe it"

lyrics from the song

Sweet Freedom - Michael McDonald

The psychology of life is all a mind game and illusions
of believing in yourself and having a positive attitude.

This is an older post I am transferring from another blog that was written around a year ago. It was a time of finally understanding who I am as a person . . . and the release of warped thinking, replaced with a positive attitude at a time when everything in my life was falling apart at the seams after struggling a very long time with so many issues after JR died. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A year later, all the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fit into place.

There is no sweet freedom like peace of mind . . .

Originally posted April 15, 2009

In past couple of years I've taken time to ask myself the questions about life, happiness, desires and write about it. In going back and studying what I wrote, the feelings and emotions vs. what was going on in my life . . . how I felt was directly affected by my perception of whatever the situation was.

At different times, the same situation affected me a different way making the difference between peace and torment.

Unrealistic expectations set yourself up to fail.

This message in this song and in what I have learned through my writing and pondering life in general . . . we all hold the key to our life. Attitude is half the battle . . . believing in yourself and thinking positively makes things happen. Or gives the illusion of things happening, if only in your mind, which is the trigger to usually make things happen.

There is a saying in one of the books I am reading "Something More" . . . "some women wait for something to change, nothing changes, so they change themselves" . . . in other words, don't sit around waiting for things to get better or for something to happen that you want to happen . . . MAKE IT HAPPEN . . . believe in yourself because you hold the key . . . keep the expectations realistic . . . no one else can do it for you.

"Reachin' out to meet the changes

Touchin' every shining star

The light of tomorrow is right where we are"

We create our own magic as we create our own hell. Of course we are driven by circumstance, but it is what we do with them that make the difference in our lives.

Michael McDonald is one of my favorite singers, one of the most soothing voices ever . . . I've seen him in concert several times at different stages of his career. Sweet Freedom has always been one of my favorite of his songs. As I was listening to my playlist of his music, the words of this song grabbed a hold of me . . . like someone grabbed me by the hair and sat me down for a serious talk.

It is believing in yourself, knowing that you possess what you need to do whatever you want to do as long as you believe you can.

No more running down the wrong road for me . . . the wrong road is negative thinking.

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Expectations

Expect to have hope rekindled.
Expect your prayers to be
answered in wondrous ways.
The dry seasons in life do not last.
The spring rains will come again.

Sarah Ban Breathnach



Never losing hope is always a wise decision.

Long distance love takes time and lots of patience
that strengthens love, faith and hope.  

Anything worth anything is worth it.

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Changing consciousness

Why should we care about raising our consciousness? 

When we set an intention to change and grow, we begin a journey in which we move from coping, to learning and finally, to the enjoyment of living.

Here are some of the shifts we move through:

From dependence on the clock, to charting a direction, to moment-to-moment guidance from intuition.

From doing things right, to doing the right things, to being your true self.

From lack of self discipline to having personal willpower to serving divine will.

From being out of control, to being in control, to trusting and letting go of the need to control.

With each step, we experience greater freedom, fulfillment and joy. Worth going for, don’t you think?

“Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom . . . The power to choose, to respond, to change.” 

Stephen R. Covey

Source: Higher Awareness

Change is never easy, whether it is good or bad, whether we are self-motivated to become the best person we can be . . . for any reason.

Having faith and trust in yourself through the changes helps with any life transition is the greatest way I have found to cope with change.

Although becoming a widow after a long and happy marriage was the most devastating event of my life, the lessons I have since learned about life in general . . . and myself . . . are proving to be invaluable lessons for the rest of my life.

The ultimate freedom in life is being able to roll with the changes and use whatever the situation is for greater good in the future. Life lessons can bring awesome change for the better if we only have faith and trust within ourselves to make good things happen.

Everything happens for a reason!

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Runaway

There are only two places that I see,
One is strong, and the other one feels so weak,
And this plan feels so strange to me,
It’s all I see, baby

Lyrics from the song
Runaway ~ Nelly Furtado

Life is a series of phases, changes and transitions . . . what makes the difference is our attitude towards life in general and how we approach these changes, whether they be pleasant or unpleasant ones. As I am reorganizing my blog posts around and going through old posts, I can see the different changes in my attitude, my reactions to what is going on in my life and how it affects how I am feeling.

At the time I wrote the following post, August 2007, I realized I was running away from my problems, just waiting to die . . . and since then I started to face them head on, tackling them one at a time.

I have the plan, working on it one day at a time
. . . no more running away!

Just one little change makes such a difference. I have proved it to myself many times, only to return to negative and warped thinking. How many times do we have to slip and fall, make the same mistakes over and over again before we learn?

Hopefully I have and this is a permanent change!

Runaway is one of my favorite songs of all time by one of my favorite singers, Nelly Furtado. This song has had different meaning at various stages in recent past. A powerful song can do that for me . . .

This post was originally written
 and published on August 2007

Running away . . . isn’t that what I’ve been doing? Sure, it’s true that I’ve not gone anywhere . . . in fact, I’ve locked myself in my self-imposed prison and have not left my house since last week. It is what I’ve wanted.

But haven’t I been running away from progress?

“And I know you wanna,

Let it go,

And I know you wanna,

Go with the flow,

But you can’t”

Many forces have been at work
 in the midst of my inner struggle.

Disappointments and disagreements with people in my life . . . my birthday came and went and I never admitted that being one year older has scared the hell out of me . . . future uncertainty with a sketchy plan . . . no real purpose in my life . . . and I’ve recently made a realization that scared me more than anything has scared me in a very long time . . . 

I’m just sitting around waiting to die.

Have I fallen down so many times that even though I go through the motions, in actuality, I’ve given up on life? Like the songs says . . . “and I know you wanna” . . . sure, I wanna this and I wanna that, but I don’t do it. I can’t.

Powerful words . . . “I can’t” . . . tell yourself this enough times and you never will. More than anything, I wanna go with the flow, my mind goes with the flow. It is like I described in another blog and I keep thinking about this analogy . . . it is not a merry-go-round that I can’t get off of that never stops . . .no, I am in the middle of it, the part that doesn’t move, yet the merry-go-round spins around the middle . . . and I can’t get on.

An awesome friend told me tonight that I’m not giving myself permission to move on . . . whatever force it is that is keeping me from doing so . . . guilt . . . fear . . . I’ve been thinking about it since he brought it to my attention. So I run away . . . no wonder this is one of my favorite songs. I can so relate to it . . . I live it daily. But who or what am I running away from? hmmmmm myself? And why? I can almost feel the wings beneath my feet.

The way I write, think and become inspired is very strange. Since I listen to music 24/7, I relate to song lyrics, I can get lost in them . . . but it is also my musical background as a songwriter that takes me to that point of inspiration. Song lyrics are about life, love . . . a tear in someone’s beer.

Tonight I was listening to my Nelly Furtado playlist and this song, Runaway, came on and I thought of the many times that I’ve gotten different meanings from this song. At this moment I’m not facing the things that I need to be doing and running away.

More progress
just from listening to a song
in my bizarre, analytical way 

Runaway | Nelly Furtado

Lyrics:

There are only two places I could go

One is dark, and it feels so hollow

And it lets me in only to swallow

Too much water until i drown, baby

And the other place is calm and sweet

I can almost feel wings beneath my feet

And i don’t care if it feels too deep

I like it, I like it

And I know you wanna

Take a chance

And I know you wanna

Understand me and

Let me in

But you, runaway from what you know

And you, runaway from what you don’t

I don’t wanna wait for you

To change your mind

Don’t take the time

Show me your love tonight

There are only two places that I see

One is strong, and the other one feels so weak

And this plan feels so strange to me

It’s all I see, baby

And i know you wanna

Let it go

And i know you wanna

Flow this love

But you can’t

So you, runaway from what you know

And you, runaway from what you don’t

I don’t wanna wait for you

To change your mind

Don’t take the time

Show me your love tonight, oh yeah, tonight.

All the angels know what i know

You’re an angel that sings to me

It’s the greatest secret of all

I am free from thinking

But you, runaway from what you know

And you, runaway from what you don’t

I don’t wanna wait for you

To change your mind

Don’t take the time

Let’s make love

Don’t runaway from what you know

Don’t runaway, just let it go

I don’t wanna wait for you

To tell me what’s right

Don’t fight it

Let’s make love tonight

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Peace come to my rescue

Bad times always bring up other bad times for me. In many ways, it is one of my subconscious mind’s defense mechanisms, showing me a time I experienced similar emotions that I made it through, ultimately feeling peace in my life again . . . and not feeling anger towards God.

It is also another reason writing in my journal every day has helped me make it through difficult times as well as the good times . . . not only when I am going through the time itself, but going through a similar time . . . and knowing that “this too shall pass.”

Those who have lost someone close will understand what I’m going to say about “trigger days” . . . I have “the trigger season” which is the time after Halloween, when society gears up for the “happiest time of the year.” However, for me, it is the most dreaded of the “trigger days” when feeling your loss in the most painful way. The best way for me to describe it is to compare it to the withdrawals I had when I quit smoking cigarettes . . . that feeling like you are coming apart . . . inside out.

The following entry was written as the holiday season approached a year or so ago. At the time, it seemed as though the holidays were going to always be a time of unhappiness and dread for me.

However, I am happy to say that this past holiday season was the first one I can say that I participated in and enjoyed more than in the past. It still isn’t the same, but it was a turning point in my life.

Christmas 2007 . . .

As I approach my 5th agonizing Christmas without JR, I’m still filled with emptiness, just wishing that the holidays would not touch me and I could ignore them as if they are not even here. For another year it is a reminder of how pathetic I have allowed myself and my life to become.

In my travels through society with my smiles and cheery well wishes for a Merry Christmas to those I am in contact with . . . none would ever have the idea of the pain inside of me, the anger that I direct at God for taking the most important person in my life . . . anger at God, who was always my source of strength in bad times.

Isn’t this the source of my pain? Not the grief, although it is still overwhelming and even paralyzing at times . . . but the peace I always found in God is gone and I am so angry. My faith in God had always been so strong, unwavering and all consuming. It is all but gone. I can finally admit it to myself and say it out loud.

It is also about guilt . . . on many levels and for so many reasons. The collective guilt haunts me and torments me at times. What seems ironic to me is this . . . with all the thinking and analyzing that I do without giving myself a break, I am just now willing to admit my anger at God and I’ve lost my faith, the peace that comes from within. It seems like what I have been feeling subconsciously has tormented me on a conscious level.

The realization hit me this week as I contemplated getting involved in some type of volunteer work on Christmas Day. Although I am a deeply spiritual person, I am not religious and have quite an aversion to organized religion with all its rules and regulations, much preferring to simply talk to God.

It got me to thinking on a level I had not ever gone to . . . the thought of talking to God and he’s not listening at all, he’s ignoring me, punishing me for reasons I don’t know and I am angry . . . extremely angry when I started thinking about it . . . I’m a good person, go out of my way to not hurt others . . . a Christian does not go there with all the questions, we are supposed to have faith. But I have . . . I went there with the questions, the doubts . . . and realized that is what is keeping me from having peace . . . my anger at God . . . and dare I say, my loss of faith?

Too much loss in my life, too much disappointment, too much betrayal, not enough gratefulness for everything I have been blessed with . . . too much guilt for merely being alive, for not being able to do something so that JR would still have life, guilt for not being there when he died, guilt for feeling this way, for wasting my life away when there are so many others in the world who would be so grateful for a fraction of what I have and healthy life itself . . . I could go on and on with the guilt for everything that torments me.

Will the magic of Christmas and the reason for the season ever return to my foggy world of black and white? I need the peace, love, happiness that has been the motto of my life . . . I need God back, I feel so disconnected . . . like I’m within the grips of dark forces. This torment has got to end and I know I must stop beating myself up . . . it is one of those nights.

To quote a line in the song, “peace come to my rescue and I don’t know what that means” . . . life imitates art again . . . and again . . .

Although I have come to another place in my life where I am feeling anger for life circumstances and have experienced a momentary loss of peace, I had to relive a time in my past to know that peace will return again. And I can be grateful for those bad times of my past making it easier to deal with those of today . . .

I Need Love | Sixpence None The Richer
Lyrics

i left my conscience like a crying child

locked the door behind me put the pain on file

broken like a window i see my blindness now 

i need love

not some sentimental prison

i need god 

not the political church 

i need fire 

to melt this frozen sea inside me 

i need love 

driving into town tired and depressed

like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s.

peace comes to my rescue and i don’t know what it means 

i need love

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