The Drama Queen Syndrome

Are you a drama queen?

Or perhaps a drama king?

Maybe I'm overgeneralizing . . . as a seasoned drama queen will do . . . but I firmly believe that women don't corner the market on this syndrome.  

Guys . . . you know it . . . you can be just as dramatic as the most seasoned drama queen.

Are you guilty of taking a negative event to the outrageous proportion of a pattern of defeat that you just know will never end?  

Are you convinced that going on and on about it makes it all better?

It reminds me of an old saying that I have heard most of my life . . .

"make a mountain out of a mole hill"

I must admit to the title of Drama Queen . . . and yes, I'm well seasoned!  What can I say?  It is in my genes and ethnicity . . . I'm an italian with a bit of cuban thrown in . . . I was born with it . . . complete with the waving hands!

(The Captain is convinced that I would be unable to talk if my hands were tied . . . sometimes I know he is tempted!  Speaking of him . . . yes, he is a Drama King!)

At times it can be amusing, even comical, but taking it too far releases way too much negativity.  Life is too short for that!  Irritations at life situations should be taken seriously, but we can also laugh at the absurdity of it all rather than sap our energy on negativity.

 Neither may or may not change anything, but can ultimately make the way we handle it more pleasant. The alternative is similar to an irritating pack of little yappy barking dogs.

In my quest to make incremental improvements in my life, I am making a conscious effort to recognize the drama queen traits when the syndrome starts to rear it's ugly head and try to nip it in the bud while in the amusing stage.  

To mask the beginnings of something ugly about to happen, I am learning how to turn it into a comedy routine, quickly getting over the silly thing I was starting to get dramatic about.  It takes making a conscious effort to recognize it starting to happen.

My journey to peace, love and happiness has made me keenly aware of the "Drama Queen Syndrome" dangers . . . and my new-found awareness has made some potentially explosive situations comical, leading to smiles instead of frowns.

I wonder if there will be an "I told you so" type of
statement in the conversation when he wakes up!

So . . . come on, admit it . . . are you a drama queen . . . or king?

Is your partner a drama queen or king?

Both of you?

How do you handle it?

Inquiring minds want to know!

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Surviving a storm

While cruising the internet this morning, I happened to come across a page called "The Daily Inspiration" that originates on the website of one of our local talk show radio stations. The link appears at the end of the article . . .

On this page, I found the following article that was like a confirmation from God . . . I could have written it myself since it speaks of many of my life philosophies.

One of my favorite sayings . . . it appears on the sidebar of this blog and is included in many of my prayers . . .

"You have succeeded in life

when all you really want

is only what you really need."

Vernon Howard
We will all encounter storms in our lifetime, it is how we deal with those struggles in the choices we make, including the mindset we choose that makes the difference in achieving peace, love and happiness.

At times, it is difficult to maintain an optimistic mindset . . . however, hope and faith are just a thought away . . . it is all about how we perceive a given situation.

Here is the article . . . I hope it gives just one person passing through a storm the perspective needed to get through it with a smile and a happy heart.

Today within minutes of each other, I read two messages of hope.

One was a story about a man who won millions. The other was about a man who just lost his job.

So, how do I see hope in either story?

The now wealthy man was rich beyond measure long before he won the money.

The now unemployed man was rich beyond measure long before he lost his job.

Both men are dedicated to family, friends, faith-filled, loving and well loved in return.

So, where do I see hope?

In how they choose to respond to life.

Both have choices to make to get them to where they want to go.

The now wealthy man could end up financially ruined.

The unemployed man could become a millionaire.

Neither circumstance has anything to do with money. It has everything to do with the choices they make.

Both are facing an abrupt change in lifestyle.

Both are facing storms.

I watched today as the clouds came rolling into the area. We were recently slammed by heavy rains which caused flooding throughout the east coast.

That storm passed. The sun came out and all was well. The return of yet another rainstorm almost seems unfair.

But it is life.

I realized as I stood watching the clouds overhead that if I got in my car and drove in almost any direction I would eventually find the end of the storm.

Like these two men, if we go far enough on the road we choose we can out run any storm. If we stand strong enough in place we can let the storm pass over us.

So, what does it take to get through the storm?

It all comes down to the choosing.

Enough. Enough time, enough belief, enough faith, enough love, enough hope. Both men are fully equipped with all those values.

Still, the enemy will step into the middle of every storm and use weapons of fear and doubt.

Fear of the unknown isn't the worst. Doubt is. Doubt undermines your beliefs. Doubt blinds the truth. I may not know what will happen, but if I doubt that good will come of it I will be lost in the storm.

Whenever I see an image of someone who won the lottery I always say a prayer for them.

I do the same when I see images of people who just lost their job.

That's my weapon.

I've been unemployed, I've never been a millionaire.

I survived unemployment. I've survived many storms. I'm not sure if I'd survive being a millionaire.

I can hear you saying "I'd like to give it a try!"

Please don't see this as bragging, but I help Lots of people in many ways. I've had this conversation with God many times.

"God, if you'd let me win big in the lottery, you know I could help a lot more people."

God's reply has always been, "Then help a lot of people with what you have now."

You don't need a lot of anything in life, you just need enough.

To both men, I promise "I'll see you in my prayers." I know you will both remain rich beyond measure.

Choose wisely and with God as counselor. It's the only way I make it through the storms.

Source

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The spirit of love

How important is it to be "right"?


When ego takes over in our relationships over something said or done by another person that we don't agree with, the focus turns from the spirit of love to the angry need to be right.


Of course it depends on the situation, but isn't it better to just let it go without debating the issue to the point that could lead to consequences that are far worse than just being right?


Human nature can confine us to a world of rigid rules as criteria for someone else without looking into our own actions or belief system first. There is also the choice of accepting the fact that they are "wrong" and simply choose to love them anyway . . . agree to disagree and live by the "Spirit of Love."


Love is more important than being right . . . at least that is my opinion.

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Faith and challenging times

Coping with bad times, whether it be challenges in the workplace, a personal relationship or financial difficulties requires faith to get through it. Faith in God, faith in yourself, faith in other people . . . it is so important to keep your head straight in order to make rational decisions.
Some decisions take greater leaps of faith than others.
We only have one life . . . live it with faith and optimism that what will be, will be . . . que sera sera. No matter what your spiritual belief is, there is a higher power in control. My belief is that everything in life happens for a reason.
The following poem, Footprints in the Sand, is one of my favorite sagas when reaching deep within myself for the strength and faith needed in times of uncertainty.

One night I dreamed I was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that
during the low periods of my life, when I was
suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most
trying periods of my life there have only been
one set of footprints in the sand.

"Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Love this one . . . it is for the one who
has put footprints on my heart!

"Be the kind of person you would like to be with.
Some people come into our lives,
make footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."

- Joseph F. Newton

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It's Always Something

It's always something

Roseanne Roseannadanna

(Gilda Radner's SNL character)

The following post is from one of my
older blogs that I'm still transferring to this one.

As I was going through some old posts to transfer over, it occurred to me that my life has come full circle . . . and it is a fabulous feeling of accomplishment.

At the time of originally writing this blog post, I was just starting to find myself again after locking myself in the house, never wanting to come out . . . just waiting to die. Little by little the desire to really live again started coming back.

I'm so grateful for the years of journaling and blogging that give me so much insight into myself, understanding where I've been and guide me to the path of my future.

By the way . . . "it's always something" never changes no matter where you are in your life. There is always some little irritation of life to make us grateful for that which is awesome . . . at least that is how I try to perceive "those little somethings" now. 

Originally posted October 8, 2007

Just another day in paradise . . . at least I'm feeling better than I did last night, but not well enough for a job interview . . . I should have known better than to even think about doing that today. My bills are covered and I just need to try to keep myself from drowning and feeling like a part of the human race. So that is my quest for today . . . to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

For some reason this morning I was thinking about Gilda Radner's saying as the character on Saturday Night Live, Roseanne Roseannadanna, "It's Always Something."   Isn't it the truth? It is just how we handle that "something" that makes the difference. 

I've seen the changes in me from one year to the next in how I have handled this day . . . to me this is the biggest grief trigger day . . . the "death anniversary". Many of you who are walking in my shoes have mentioned the trigger days . . . and there are many. This is the big one for me.

In some ways I am still in a state of shock over the death of my husband, although I have addressed and readdressed the phase of "acceptance" . . . it is not just losing the most important person in your life . . . it is also the loss of a lifestyle . . . the loss of status quo . . . from that moment on, everything in my life was different . . . everything. 

Through time, little things would come up, almost on a daily basis for a while and it seemed like the constant thing on my mind was "it's always something . . . when will the nightmare end?"

Phases . . . I've been through more than a few. Although the nightmare has not ended for me, I can handle things so much better now. I've walked through that fire and have lived to tell the tale. It is not a manic tale anymore . . . it is life and crap we have to go through that we don't like. We all have our crosses to bear at one time or another. Not one of us will go through this life without a hardship or heartbreak of one kind or another. When I start to feeling bad about my life, I look around and see struggles around me that are much more intense than mine . . . and I'm grateful for what I have been blessed with.

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Worry, paranoia and intuition

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. (Isak Dinesen)

Worry is one of those emotions I could do without. It has been brought to my attention that worry is nothing but waiting for something bad to happen in the midst of good times.

Ironically, sometimes the self-fulfilling prophecy leads to not being happy unless the thing I worry about happens. Otherwise what I perceive as "intuition" is wrong. In my world, there is a fine line between worry and intuition. It is a lose/lose concept of thinking.

I'm starting to realize the concept of the above quote . . . life is way too short to worry about something that may not even be an issue to worry about . . . so why worry about it?

There is also a fine line between worry and paranoia . . .

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Don't take anything for granted

When we are supported by others, expressing gratitude tells the universe that we appreciate our good fortune. When we take the time to reflect upon the countless miracles that happen to assist us, we may notice that the change in our level of awareness will change the quality of our life for the better.

So often in life we tend to take things for granted. We may feel that we haven’t been given everything that we deserve. Reflecting upon the abundance of life, however, helps us develop a keener sense of awareness of our gifts. Thank the universe for its support today, and you will be able to gratefully accept everything that life has to offer you.

Source: Daily Om

I'm happy to be in survival mode . . . and surviving . . .

life could be better, but it could also be much worse.

 I'm grateful! 

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TROUBLE

Trouble creates a capacity to handle it,
meet it as a friend,
for you'll see a lot of it and had
better be on speaking terms with it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes


We don't always see the opportunity for personal growth when life's troubles appear and seem to produce anything but stress and negativity.

Today I'm grateful to feel grief and loss on the anniversary of my husband's death, otherwise I would have never had the pleasure of his company in my life. Rather than continuing to feel negative, I'm choosing to ponder my personal growth since he's been gone . . . and realize that I have so much personal progress to be grateful for . . . as well as having the rest of my life to look forward to.

Today is the first day
of the rest of my life

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Peace and the irritation of challenges

There is an opportunity in every challenge to find something positive rather than expend energy being irritated and annoyed. It is said that a pearl is an irritation of the oyster. There is a treasure hidden in all things, good and bad.

Emotional reactions and moods can heighten and fluctuate. Since I have an exceptionally short fuse that has been typically easy to set off, I have to be especially careful to learn how to control my temper in times of frustration and life challenges. It is much easier to take a deep breath and calm down rather than have to fix hurt feelings and situations because of emotionally reacting way too quickly.

Since inserting foot in mouth way too often, the practice of calming down and thinking before reacting has quickly become my best friend as I approach my life through peace and harmony.  It isn't easy!

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Peace, Love and Happiness

Three simple words that have so much meaning.

Those words take me back to flower child days that weave through the tapestry of my life through good and bad times. Together they sum up my philosophy of life having nothing to do with politics which lead me from one day to the next with optimism and faith that is much like wearing rose colored glasses . . . the romance of life.

My blog is an exploration of those three words with their differing meanings and finding that place in life that is filled with peace, love and happiness all at one time.

A new adventure began for me as a beautiful life abruptly ended. One of life’s ironies is that most people don’t appreciate or even know what they have until it is gone. Another irony of life is knowing that everything happens for a reason and part of the adventure is finding the good in bad times.

I’m a widow on my journey back to a “normal” life. It is difficult to actually define “normal” except to say that it is the beautiful emotion that comes from the harmony of peace, love and happiness.

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